by Kai Michaels
“No. Sorry, Grandpa. It’s just us.”
Grandpa mumbled and left.
“We’ll be in my room working on homework,” I told my dad.
We hurried down to my room and closed the door. I took my laptop from my desk and we sat on my bed. I wondered if Kevin had given us a phony name and password. He must have been pretty worried about what Morgan had on him, because we logged right onto his page.
“By the way,” I said. “What dirt do you have on Kevin?”
“Well, if you promise not to tell, I found out that he practiced his kissing skills on his sister Cami.” Cami is Kevin’s twin sister.
An uncontrollable shiver shot down through my body. “Ooh, gross!”
Morgan laughed, “Although, the funny thing is that it was back in the fifth grade. I’ve been using that against him for five years.”
Kennedy pointed to the computer. “Come on, open up the bro code.”
“Right.” I scrolled down to the “groups” section.
“Check this out,” I said. “He also belongs to the Junior Spacemasters’ blog. He is such a geek.” The Bro Code was nowhere to be found. “Where is it?”
Kennedy squinted and took over the laptop. “It’s got to be there.” She scrolled down a little further.
“Right there. Click on ‘For Bros Only,’” Morgan said. She was right. Kennedy clicked on and across the top of the page it read, “Honor the Code.”
We all giggled and stuck our faces up close to the screen. I wondered if this is how Cam and Zane felt when they snuck into my diary.
There was a knock at my door and my mom stuck her head in.
“Hi, girls. How’s the studying coming?”
“Hi, Mrs. Hunt,” Morgan said. “We’re just plotting our strategy to take down every boy in our school.”
“Sounds good,” Mom replied. “Let me know if I can help.” Then she closed the door and went back upstairs.
“Your mom is the best,” Kennedy said. I had to agree.
“Wow, listen to this stuff!” Morgan said.
“Bros before does.”
“If you want to catch a fox sometimes you’ve got to be a hound.”
“That is RJ for sure,” Morgan said “Serious hound dog.”
“Oh, these guys are such losers. Listen to this, ‘A wingman is the guy who punches your arm at a party and says, ‘Dude, you can do better than that.’”
“Here it is! Listen to this, ‘A bro shall not hit on another bro’s woman. This is worthy of the punishment from the brohood.’”
“Yeah, but I’m not Logan’s woman,” I said.
“Wait. Look at this asterisk. ‘If a bro has a legitimate chance at getting the girl, he can claim her. All other bros shall respect the claim and keep their distance. Note, a claim expires at three months. If you can’t get your woman within three months . . . sorry bro, but it’s not happening.”
The more I read the more I couldn’t believe that the guys at our school actually lived by this code. It seemed to me that half the guys in our school would be constantly on the punished list.
“What’s that?” Morgan said, pointing to the bottom corner where there was a logo of some big red lips. On the lips it read “Lip List.”
Kennedy clicked onto the icon. It brought up a short list of girls. The description above it read: The girls on the Lip List are exceptions to the claiming clause. If you ever need a little lip action, these girls are always ready and willing. Enjoy.
Both Morgan and Kennedy were at the top of the list. In unison they gasped.
“The Lip List?” Morgan shouted. “We are on the Lip List? Do they actually think we’ll make out with anyone?”
“I know!” Kennedy added. “I have my standards. In fact, last week when Jason Pratt asked me out, I didn’t kiss . . . oh, wait, bad example. How about . . .”
While she and Morgan tried to think of anyone they hadn’t kissed, I explored deeper into the site.
“Hey, check this out. It looks like all of these rules have either exceptions or have been altered a little.”
“Yeah, so what.”
“Well, what if we change some of these rules? I mean, it looks like Logan, Braden, and someone named Gerald have all submitted amendments to the rules. All we need to do is submit an amendment. Maybe we can shorten the claim period to two weeks.”
“Maybe we can get our names off the Lip List, too,” Kennedy said. She immediately dialed Kevin’s number.
“Kevin, we’re on the Bro’s only page. First of all, you guys are all pigs. I can’t believe—”
“Just get to the point,” I interrupted.
She nodded. “Anyway, we want to post an amendment, maybe two.” There was a long pause.
“Okay, fine. Don’t freak out!” She said, before hanging up.
“What did he say?” Morgan and I asked.
“He said it’s not that easy. First, of all you have to have some pull with the guys. You can’t just change things whenever you want. You can suggest something, but you have to get a majority of the members to agree. Also, if you suggest anything that is too unmanly, they can vote you out and you’ll be deleted off of the page and shunned.”
“We need a better plan,” I said. “I don’t think Kevin has very much clout with the guys at school. He’s probably lucky they even let him on the page.”
Kennedy and Morgan agreed. They were both still so upset about the Lip List that we decided to call it a night and work on it tomorrow.
“I’ll tell you one thing that’s going to change,” Morgan said. “My lips are officially off limits from now on!”
“Mine, too,” Kennedy said. “If they think my lips are a free-for-all, they’ve got another thing coming. In fact, I hope guys do ask me out thinking they’re going to get some lip service. I can’t wait to see their faces after they’ve spent thirty dollars on dinner and a movie, just to get a friendly handshake at the door.”
It was a start. But it still didn’t solve my problem with Logan.
After Kennedy and Morgan left, I grabbed a snack in the kitchen. Cam was sitting at the table in his pajamas.
“What are you still doing up?” I asked. “And another thing. Why was Zane wearing my cheer skirt today?”
“Because,” he answered.
I shook my head. Nothing was ever easy with Cam. “Because why? And you’d better tell me or I’m going to get Grandpa in here to make you tell me.”
“It was because Zane told on me at school.”
“What did he tell on you for?”
“Just something. I’m not saying. Wearing the dress was his punishment for telling on his best friend. I told him he had to wear it until he beat me at Space Masters.” Then Cam smiled and said, “He never beats me at Space Masters.”
I couldn’t believe it. Already at ten years old, Cam and Zane had their own little bro code in place. It was like a new bro was being created right before my eyes.
“Well, from now on when you punish your friend, keep my clothes out of it!” I put my plate in the sink and went to my room.
I fell onto my bed thinking about my weird little brother and his weirder little friend. Then something hit me. I got up and turned on my laptop. “Brilliant. This is just brilliant!” I said out loud. I repeated my idea over and over out loud so I wouldn’t forget while I waited for my computer to boot up.
Once I was on the Internet, I pulled up that blog again. Most of the posts were from Logan or his buddies. One post from Logan said, “It is not cool for a bro to hide in the backseat of a fellow bro’s car and scare him when he gets in late at night.” The first comment under the post was from Carver. It said, “Sorry Bro,” with three smiley faces.
Another post just after that was from Carver. It said, “A bro does not eat another bro’s pizza when he is away using the bathroom.” Below that Logan’s comment was, “Sorry, bro. A little revenge for the car scare.”
I logged off and went to sleep.
Chapter eleven
When my alarm sounded Monday morning I was surprisingly refreshed and ready for the week.
“Good morning, sweetie,” Grandma said. She was up and making breakfast.
“Why are you up so early, Gram?”
“Couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d be helpful. Can I make you an omelet?”
Dad was at the table with a partially eaten omelet on his plate. His eyes were wide and he was shaking his head, mouthing “No!” to me.
“Um, I think I’ll just have a bowl of cereal today, Gram. I’m not very hungry.” Dad gave me a thumbs-up, confirming that I had chosen well. Judging from the colorful ingredients in Dad’s omelet, he was right.
Just then Mom walked in. “Hi, Mother,” she said to Grandma. “How nice of you to make breakfast.”
“Your omelet is coming right up,” Grandma said. She looked pleased to feed the family. I’m not sure what all she put in the omelet, but from where I stood it looked like every leftover in the refrigerator, including a chopped up hotdog, some carrots, cheese, and some lettuce.
I ate my cereal, grabbed my backpack and left while Dad was still picking apart his breakfast.
“Bye,” I called from the front door.
Carver actually made it to math before we did for a change. I sat down next to him and flirted like crazy. He cautiously flirted back. Now and then, he glanced back at Logan just to make sure he wasn’t crossing the line. Logan was busy talking with Sarah who was sitting next to him. That’s the thing that bugged me most about the stupid code. Logan could claim me, keeping me off limits for anyone else, yet he’s allowed to keep his options open by flirting with other girls.
Mr. Walsh passed back our tests.
“Yes!” Carver said slightly under his breath.
“How did you do?” I asked.
He held his paper up, and pointed to the B+ on the top corner. “I owe it all to you.”
“Yes, you do,” I joked.
Carver looked at me like he wanted to say something else but couldn’t. I knew what it was. He wanted me, I could tell. That’s just how I wanted him to feel.
I flirted and joked with him throughout the rest of class. When the bell rang he followed me out. He waited for Logan to turn the corner and then he caught up to me.
“Hey, Maddie, wait up.”
I turned and waited for him.
“Maddie, I just wanted to say that . . . well, if things don’t work out with Logan. I mean if he decides that . . . ”
“What are you saying?” I asked. “I don’t have a thing with Logan.”
“I’m just saying that if, you know, things change, I’d like to make good on my payment for tutoring.”
I acted like I didn’t care one way or another. “That bro code still not letting you pay your tutoring debts? Bummer. Well, have a great weekend.” I walked off confidently to my next class.
After school, Morgan, Kennedy and I headed straight to Smoothie Heaven. We sat at our usual booth in the corner. They told me all about their dates with Zach and Braden.
“It was awesome watching Zach squirm on the front porch,” Kennedy said.
Morgan agreed. “Same here. I even slowly took out my lip gloss and applied it to both lips. It’s the strawberry flavor I know Braden loves. Then I just said goodnight. I gave him a firm handshake and went inside. I watched from the window as he stomped back to his car, slammed the door, and sped off.”
“That’s great for you two. But what am I going to do? There is no one at our school who has more clout among the boys than Logan. How can I possibly get that claiming clause changed?”
“It’s going to be harder than we thought. I asked Kevin more about the Bro Code,” Morgan said. “He said it is totally ruled by Logan. In order to make a change to something like the claiming rule, which was made by Logan himself, someone with more clout than Logan is going to have to suggest it.”
We sat there in silence pondering my sad predicament.
“Maybe we can get someone from another school to get on the blog and help us—
someone cooler than Logan,” Kennedy suggested.
“That would take forever. Plus no one would know him, so how would they know he’s cooler than Logan.” Morgan said.
We started naming qualities of the perfect guy that could pull this off.
“He needs to be a guy’s guy. You know. The kind of guy every boy likes to hang out with,” I said.
Kennedy agreed. “But girls need to like him, too. If girls don’t like him then guys aren’t going to trust him to make rules about girls.” She had a good point. We named a bunch of characters from movies who would be perfect.
“Wait a minute,” Morgan said. “That’s it!”
“What’s it?”
“An actor. We get an actor to come to our school to be the cool bro.” She sounded like she was actually serious.
“Sure,” I said. “Let’s just call Hollywood. I’m sure they would send someone right over.” Kennedy laughed.
“I’m serious,” Morgan said. “My sister is taking an acting class at college and she always has to do crazy things for class projects. Once she had to go to an elementary school and teach little kids how to act. Another time she had to stand on the sidewalk downtown and act like a mime.”
“Oh, I hate mimes,” Kennedy said. “They totally freak me out.”
Morgan ignored Kennedy’s comment and called her sister on her cell phone. Kennedy went to the restroom.
I texted carver while we waited. “I hope you’re doing your math right now,” I wrote.
“Yes, I’m counting the pepperonis on the pizza, then subtracting the ones I eat,” he replied.
“Wow, don’t strain your brain.”
“No problem. I’ve got a calculator.”
I smiled and slipped my phone back into my pocket.
“Okay, Hailey’s making a couple of calls to the guys in her class,” Morgan said. “Apparently, they all have to come up with their own final project for the semester. They can do whatever they want as long as it includes acting and an audience. She thought it was a great idea.”
I didn’t get my hopes up. There was no way I could imagine a college guy wanting to come to high school and pretend to be popular.
On our way out the door, Morgan’s sister, Hailey called back.
“Really?” Morgan said. “Is he good?” . . . “I think so, let me check.”
Morgan moved the phone away from her ear for a moment.
“Hey, there’s a guy that would love to do it. He can meet you tomorrow night if you want. What do you think? Could he meet us at your house?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe we should think about it,” I said
Morgan was smiling, “I say we go for it!”
“Me too,” Kennedy said.
“Okay, let’s do it” I agreed.
Morgan gave her sister my address and hung up.
“Well, get ready to meet our bro spy!”
Chapter twelve
Kennedy dropped me off at my house. I walked inside to the sound of Dad’s screaming voice. “Everyone in the car!”
Mom was on the couch searching through her purse.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Your father is taking everyone out to dinner tonight.”
“Really? What’s the occasion?”
“Grandma was offering to make dinner. After this morning’s omelet, your father isn’t taking any chances. He said he’d pay anything to have a normal meal. But he wants to go early. If we’re at the restaurant before 5:30 Grandma and Grandpa’s meals are half price.”
We had to take two cars. Dad divided us by putting Grandma and Grandpa in Mom’s car. Cam and I went with Dad. Zane was with us, too, but we were dropping him off at his house on th
e way.
Dad whipped out of the driveway almost hitting Mrs. Lewis who was walking down the sidewalk.
“Sorry, Joyce,” Dad called out the window without stopping. We sped down the road and screeched to a stop in front of Zane’s house. Zane jumped out and Dad started to pull away.
“You’d better wait until he gets in,” Cam said. “Mom always does.
Dad sighed. “Fine, but can he at least hurry, we’ve got thirteen minutes to get to the restaurant.” Zane was taking his time zigzagging around. He stopped and picked up a ball on the lawn and threw into up in the air. Dad was getting restless.
“Come on, come on. Just go inside already,” Dad mumbled.
Finally, Zane made it to the front door. It was locked. He rang the doorbell and waited.
“I’m sure he’ll be all right. His parents are probably on their way home,” Dad said. He began to pull away. Again, Cam stopped him.
“Mom says you can never leave until he gets inside.”
Dad rolled down his window and held out his phone. “Zane, do you want to call your parents.” Zane ran to the car and Dad handed him his phone.
“What’s their number?” he asked.
“What do you mean? Are you telling me you don’t know your parents’ cell numbers?”
Zane shook his head. Dad looked at his watch and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.
“Fine. How would you like to go to dinner with us?”
Zane smiled and climbed back in. “Yay!” He and Cam shouted. This was going to be a lovely evening, I could tell already.
Dad peeled out of the gutter and sped to the restaurant. We arrived at 5:37 just missing the senior citizen discount. I thought Dad was going to have a heart attack. He begged and begged but it was no use.
“But we’ve got our neighbor whose parents weren’t home and—”
“I’m so sorry, sir,” the hostess said.
Grandma was feeling guilty. “We don’t have to eat, Chad,” she said. “Earl and I can wait in the car.”
“I’m not waiting in the car,” Grandpa shouted.
Mom grabbed both of them by the arm and guided them toward the table. “No one is waiting in the car. This is a family dinner.”
