Breaking the Bro Code (a teen romantic comedy)

by Kai Michaels

  Later, at the party, it was more of the same. A crowd surrounded Jack in the backyard to watch him toss food in the air and catch it in his mouth. Then he showed everyone a scar on his leg that he claimed to have received from a shark bite.

  Logan, on the other hand, didn’t look so happy. It was obvious that the attention given to Jack had taken the focus away from him and he didn’t like it.

  We followed Jack around, but could never get him alone. Finally, he announced he had to use the bathroom. People even cheered for that.

  “Come on,” Morgan said. We followed him into the house. Jack opened the bathroom door and Kennedy, Morgan and I all pushed our way in with him. Kennedy closed and locked the door behind us.

  “Whoa, ladies,” he said in his Jack voice. “This is a solo activity.”

  “Sorry,” I said. “But look, we just need to know what’s going on.”

  “Yeah, I haven’t kissed a boy in over a week and I’m still at the top of the lip list,” Morgan added.

  “It’s all cool, chicas,” he said. “We’re getting very close.”

  “Drop the surfer-guy voice, Lenny,” Morgan said. “I want to be off that Lip List by Monday or it’s goodbye, Jack, hello Lenny. Comprende?”

  “Okay,” he said in his regular Lenny Gloucester voice, which I must say was not very attractive. “I know it’s been a week. But the truth is, I’m having a great time.”

  “Yeah, we know. I heard you made out with Tatum on Wednesday, and Aubrey yesterday,” Kennedy said. “Isn’t that kind of wrong. I mean you’re like an old guy, aren’t you?”

  “I’m not an old guy. I’m only a few years older than you guys. Anyway, don’t worry. I’m already learning tons about these bros. We actually had a really great experience last night. I found out what they do on some of those guys-only nights. Last night we did something very cool and I felt like I was finally accepted into the inner brohood.”

  “What did you do?” Kennedy asked.

  Jack shook his head. “I really can’t tell you. It’s guarded by the code.”

  Morgan looked him squarely in the eyes. “Hold on. You are only here because we brought you here. We introduced you to the code. You work for us. We can just as easily shut this down and tell everyone you are a fraud.”

  Jack fidgeted and then turned on the bathroom fan so no one would hear outside. “All right. But this stays between us. If you reveal or call me out as a fake it’s all over. I’ll walk away and never come back. You’ll lose your inside man and will have to deal with the code on your own.”

  We agreed. Jack lowered his voice. “Okay, I found out that on some Friday nights the guys get together and go to scary movies.”

  “What? They do that with us, too.” I said. “What’s so interesting about that?”

  “That’s the thing. It’s all in preparation for their dates on Saturday night. The guys watch the movie first with just the guys, so if they get scared, scream, or jump, they don’t do it in front of a girl. Then the next night when they go to the same movie with a date, they know exactly when the scary parts are and they’re prepared. That way they look manly in front of the ladies. It’s ingenious!”

  There was a long pause while Kennedy, Morgan and I processed what we had just heard. Then, at the same time, we all busted up.

  “That is hilarious!” I said. “Guys are so stupid.”

  “Laugh all you want,” Jack said. “But I wish I would have had a group of guys to hang out with and learn these kinds of things. My high school years would have been so different.”

  “Come on,” Kennedy argued. “Girls don’t care if a guy jumps in a movie.”

  “Well, just promise you won’t tell. They’ll kill me. And the truth is, I was never cool in high school. Guys like this never gave me the time of day. Now they think I’m cool. It’s like I’m getting a do-over.”

  He looked so pathetic sitting there pleading.

  “Don’t worry,” I said. “We won’t tell.”

  “But you have to start making some progress on the code.”

  “Maybe it would be easier to start with something small,” Kennedy added. “Like that chick flick rule. The guys idolize you. Just tell them that it’s okay to show a girl your soft side now and then. I really want to see Summer’s Promise. It’s coming out next week. Just get the guys to forget about the scary movie night and tell them to take us out instead.”

  People were now knocking on the bathroom door.

  “And talk to Carver,” I pleaded. “Tell him to ask me out.”

  Jack squirmed again. “This isn’t as simple as you guys make it out to be. First of all, I’ve heard all about Logan’s claim on you. He thinks you’re going to give in sooner or later, like the rest of the girls he’s dated. I can also tell that the guys look up to him. I’m not sure I can just break down that barrier overnight.”

  “Come on. Don’t you see how these guys will do anything you say? I mean, it’s just that . . .” I started. Then I sighed.

  I think the sensitive artist side of Jack could see the disappointment in my eyes. He let out a long, deep breath. “Look. I can’t promise a miracle yet, but I’ll talk to Carver on Monday.”

  “And the movie?” Kennedy added.

  “Fine. This may prove Jack Fabrizio’s demise, but I’ll suggest a chick flick next Friday.”

  “Summer’s Promise,” Kennedy said. “That’s the movie I want.”

  The knocking at the door had turned to pounding.

  “Oh, and I just have to know, where did you really get that scar on your leg?” Morgan asked.

  “Trick-or-treating accident. I was fifteen and climbing over a fence in my puppy costume and my tail got stuck. It cut my leg pretty deep.”

  There was now yelling accompanying the pounding at the door.

  “Okay, ladies.” He was back in his Jack persona. “Stay righteous.” Jack opened the door and we all walked out of the bathroom together.

  “All right, Jack! Three girls?” Cheers erupted. Now everyone was talking about what Jack, Morgan, Kennedy and I were doing in the bathroom. This wasn’t helping Kennedy’s or Morgan’s chances of getting off of the Lip List. And who knows, maybe I’d show up on it as well.

  “So do you think he was really a nerd in high school?” I asked the girls. “Or do you think he was acting when he told us that.”

  “Trick-or-treating at fifteen? In a puppy costume? Of course he was a nerd.” Morgan said.

  Kennedy shrugged. “Who cares, as long as he can get a guy to take me to a normal movie.”

  Chapter sixteen

  I didn’t do anything else that weekend. Morgan and Kennedy both had dates on Saturday. They were excited because, even though they were still technically on the Lip List, since they had stopped kissing boys they were being asked out less and less. Logan had asked me out, but I avoided him yet again. I felt a little bad and hoped that he had asked someone else out. After all, there was never a shortage of girls interested in him. I also heard that Jack had a date with Aubrey again.

  I texted Carver for a couple of hours. It was as close to a date as I was getting with him. It worked for me.

  Everything seemed to fall into placed the following week. I got a text on Tuesday from Jack. “Check out the bro blog.”

  I pulled it up on my laptop and couldn’t believe it. There were two new amendments. Under “A bro never watches a chick flick,” there was an amendment that read, “Now and then a bro shows his sensitive side and goes to a chick flick. Girls dig it.” It was signed by Jack Fabrizio.

  The next amendment was under “A bro always spends one of the weekend nights with the bros.” It read, “Unless there are two totally hot girls that require your attention in the same weekend.” Again, signed Jack Fabrizio.

  Rumor had it that Logan was not very pleased with Jack’s amendments, but with Jack’s popularity and his way with the girls, none of the guys questioned him. That night, Kennedy called me.

  “Guess what?” She said. “
I’m going with Zach to Summer’s Promise on Friday. Can you believe it?”

  “Wow. I have to hand it to Lenny,” I said.

  “You mean Jack.”

  “Right, Jack.” I checked my phone just to make sure I didn’t miss a text from Carver. Maybe Jack got through to him, too. Nothing. No text, no missed call, nothing.

  The next day at school I caught up with Carver in the hall.

  “Hey, Carver.”

  “Hey, tutor. What’s happening?”

  “Not much. Do you have a big weekend planned?”

  “Nope. My grandma’s birthday party on Saturday. At seventy-eight years old she’s still a party machine. I’ll be eating fruit cake and drinking punch until the wee hours of the morning.”

  “Sounds like a happening lady,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, when I say the wee hours of the morning, I really mean about eight-thirty at night. That’s about two a.m. in my grandma time. Plus, she lives two hours away, so we’ll leave in the afternoon and, despite being partied out by eight-thirty, I’ll be back home at around eleven. You’re lucky, you have your grandparents right at home.”

  “Oh yeah, lucky me,” I laughed. “My grandparents kicked me out of my room, my grandmother makes pickle soup and hotdog omelets, and my grandpa scares away my friends.”

  “Hey, he didn’t scare me away. Earl is awesome,” Carver replied. His voice even sounded sincere.

  I reminded Carver that my grandpa was still waiting for him to come over and make him another sandwich. “He keeps mentioning something about the perfect ration of mustard to mayo.”

  “Tell him not to worry. I promise to be by again, and this time I’m bringing an extra secret ingredient that will give a whole new meaning to the word sandwich.”

  “Great! I’ll let him know,” I said. “So are you doing anything on Friday? I heard a bunch of guys are going to a movie.”

  Carver nodded. “Yeah, I heard that too. I’m hanging with Logan on Friday. He’s all upset because he had his ‘Bro Night’ planned and now everyone’s bailing on him for some chick flick. No offense. I guess I should call it something else, like a tender romantic drama.”

  “I think chick flick is good,” I said. “So why doesn’t Logan just reschedule his night with the boys?”

  “I don’t know. He loves the bro night. It’s a time just to chill with the guys. Sometimes we play video games, other times we just grab some pizzas and watch a game. RJ tried to get me to bail too, since no one is going to be there, but I already told Logan I’d come.”

  My heart sank a little. “I guess you’re a man of your word.”

  “Hey, I’ve known Logan since we were five years old. You’ve got to take care of those friendships.”

  “Right,” I said softly. “See you tomorrow.” We parted ways in the parking lot.

  It was a good week for girls at Highland High. It was the first weekend all year that girls were going out both Friday and Saturday. And on top of it all, Summer’s Promise was sold out because of all of the guys, in their efforts to be like Jack, were taking his advice and showing the girls their sensitive side—everyone, except Logan.

  Logan was determined to live or die by that code. There had begun to be some tension between he and Jack. I felt sort of bad about it, but Morgan and Kennedy assured me that he deserved it, that he had gotten his way long enough.

  Friday and Saturday came and went again. I had told Logan I had a family birthday party on Saturday night, so I couldn’t go out. I just needed to stall long enough for Jack to finish the job on the code.

  Carver texted me at about eight-thirty on Saturday. “What’s up?”

  “Just enjoying an eventless evening at home. And you? How’s the party?”

  “Wild and crazy. Grandma is dancing and Grandpa is breaking out the home movies. Wish you were here.”

  “Me too.” Then I added. “Do you think this counts as some sort of date?”

  “Well, we’re not even in the same county at the moment, but I’ll say, sure, this is a date.”

  “Wow, our first date.”

  “Yes, by the way, you look very nice tonight,” Carver said.

  “How do you know?” I asked.

  “I don’t. But since we’re on a date, I figured that was what I should say.”

  I sent back a smiley face.

  “And besides,” he added. “You always look nice.”

  “Thank you. You look handsome yourself.” After about a minute I wrote, “How about an official date sometime?”

  “Maybe in six weeks.”

  My heart sank. I was sure I had just broken that stupid claiming clause on my own. I didn’t text him back. Eight-thirty at night might be two a.m. in grandma time, but six weeks is an eternity in sixteen-year-old time.

  Chapter seventeen

  On Monday morning Kennedy was five minutes early and honking like crazy. I rushed outside and, noticing Morgan was in the front seat, I climbed into the back.

  “Sorry, are you guys in a hurry?” I asked.

  “No, I’m just frustrated.”

  Morgan didn’t look any happier. “Yeah, and I’m just mad.”

  They both scowled at me like I was to blame. “Hey, I’m sorry. Did I do something to offend you guys?”

  Morgan huffed. “You know, I guess you didn’t do anything on purpose, but life just really sucks lately and it’s all because of Jack.”

  Kennedy nodded. “Jack and his stupid bro code amendments are ruining our lives. I went out on Friday night with Zach. At first it was awesome because finally he’s taking me to a real movie, Summer’s Last Promise. But halfway through the movie I hear Zach whimpering. It’s not a sweet, choked-up, misty-eyed moment, but an ugly, nose-running, weird moment accompanied by whiny sounds. It was so disgusting. I felt like he needed to lay his head on my shoulder instead of the other way around, like I was hoping for. Before the movie I was actually thinking of breaking my no-kissing vow. I mean, is it really worth it to get my name off that stupid lip list if it means I can’t ever kiss again? I just can’t take it anymore. Anyway, after the movie, Zach seemed too wimpy to kiss. I was totally turned off. Plus he didn’t even try to kiss me.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Then Morgan jumped in.

  “Braden cried, too, like a baby. However, I was still determined to kiss him. I mean, how long has it been—like two weeks? So we get out of the movie and he drives me home. He leans over and grabs my hand. I liked that. Usually his lips are all over me before the car is even turned off. Then he looks into my eyes. Another first. I’m thinking maybe this movie was a great thing after all.”

  “Then what happened?” I asked. Her story sounded much better than Kennedy’s.

  “What happened then, you ask? I’ll tell you.” Morgan’s eyes grew angry and cold. “Then we talked.”

  “About what?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. About the movie, about his feelings, about, get this, his mother! All he wanted to do was talk. It was awful! Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and told him I had to leave.”

  “Hey, I’m really sorry. I’ll talk to Jack. I’ll try to straighten this whole thing out.”

  “Yeah, you’d better,” Morgan said.

  “Hey wait! I’m not the one that wanted to get off the Lip List. Actually, you’re only on there because you two have kissed every boy at school. What did you expect? Plus, it was you, Morgan, who threatened Jack in the bathroom that he’d better get you off the list.”

  “Yeah, but if you didn’t have such a freaking cow about being claimed we never would have gotten Jack.”

  “Jack was you’re idea, Morgan,” I said.

  “Just to help you out,” she shouted back. “Just tell him to forget about getting us off of the Lip List. I want to be number one on the list. I want guys the way they were, kissing and all.”

  “Me, too,” Kennedy said.

  “Fine! I’ll talk to Jack after school.” We got to school and both Kennedy and Morgan walked five fee
t ahead of me.

  In math, Jack walked in happy as could be. He and RJ were laughing about something they did over the weekend. He left too quickly for me to catch after class, but in between classes, I received a text from Jack that was sent to Kennedy, Morgan and me. “Good news,” it said. “You’re officially off the Lip List.” Another text followed. “Yes, I am a genius. You’re welcome.”

  Shortly after, down the hall, I heard a familiar scream. It was Morgan. She obviously just read the text. She and Kennedy wouldn’t even talk to me by our lockers. I got to the parking lot at lunch and they were already gone. They had left me. I stood there for a moment all alone wondering what to do. I had gone to lunch with Kennedy and Morgan every day.

  I turned and headed back into the school. On my way I passed Carver and Logan. For once I was willing to go out with Logan. Maybe lunch with those two would be a good transition to just going with Carver. Maybe Logan would be able to see the chemistry between Carver and me.

  “Hi guys,” I said. “Mind if I tag along for lunch?”

  “Not today,” Carver said. “Logan and I have plans.”

  He was cold and serious. Talk about humiliating. I understand the bro thing, but come on. I was sick of being Carver’s secret texting date. In fact, I was sick of everyone being mad at me for just doing what they all wanted in the first place. Breaking the bro code was not just my idea. Those girls flipped out when they saw their names on the Lip List. I was done. Done with Kennedy and Morgan. Done with Carver. Done.

  I went into the school cafeteria, where I had never eaten before. I got in line to get a salad and a drink. Myrna walked in with Coach Watkins. They were both giggling, being all cutesy. I couldn’t believe it. Even Myrna is getting her man. She looked at me but quickly turned away.