by Liwen Y. Ho
“This?” He opened a white bakery box and held it out to her. “These are malasadas, the best doughnuts you’ll ever have.”
“They smell so good.” Her eyes were likely as round as the fried pastries. “Are they for me? Please say they are.”
“Yes, well, half of them are.” He handed her one. “I’m willing to share.”
“Thanks.” She took a bite of her malasada and ended up with a mouthful of creamy filling. The unexpected squirt of the slightly tart and sweet gooey goodness made her laugh. “Yum! I didn’t know there was stuff inside. What flavor is this?”
“This one’s my favorite: lilikoi. Also, known as passionfruit.”
She nodded in appreciation. “That sounds like something you’d like.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re passionate. You take things seriously and aren’t afraid to make your opinions known.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes I can come across a little too strong.” He set the box to the side and faced her. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you earlier. I just care about what happens to you. With you in L.A., I won’t be there to keep you out of trouble. You’re going to have to watch out for yourself.”
“I know you care. But I’m an adult now. I need to make my own decisions and maybe even make my own mistakes. You can’t protect me forever, Mikey.”
“I’m starting to realize that,” he sighed. “But I’ll be praying for you every single day while you’re gone. And I’ll be waiting for you when you come back.”
A figure joined Lucy at the bakery’s display case, drawing her attention back to the present. She turned to find John standing beside her. “Oh, hey.”
He tapped the glass. “What are these?”
“They’re Hawaiian doughnuts. I’m going to get some. Do you want any?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
Lucy placed her order and soon received her box of malasadas. She was about to leave when John reminded her of why they’d come: to look at wedding cakes. Darn. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten about that in all of her excitement. One of the ladies behind the counter gave them a binder of photos to look through. Another woman brought out samples for them to try.
After a half hour of cake tasting, John asked her, “Which one do you like? I think I’m partial to the vanilla.”
“I like the lilikoi, the passionfruit.”
“That one’s not bad, a little strong though.”
She smiled. “I like strong.”
“Okay, passionfruit it is. Let me ask about their pricing.”
As John talked to one of the staff, Lucy’s phone vibrated to signal an incoming text. She fished it out of her straw tote and swiped the screen.
Attention. A lockdown of the Union High School campus has been ordered. Please remain calm. Teachers, secure your students in your classroom immediately and begin following lockdown procedures. All office staff remain in or report to your offices. All other staff report to the gym. Parents, do not try to locate your children. Your children will be released to you after the lockdown has been lifted.
Lucy’s heart worked double-time as she reread the text. A lockdown? The school staff had received training for events such as this, but she had yet to experience one. She could only imagine how scared the teachers and students must be. Some would likely need counseling afterwards—oh! Was Micah okay?
Her fingers fumbled as she pulled up his number and typed out a message to him. She sent the text and waited anxiously for an answer. Micah usually had his phone on silent during the school day, but maybe he’d check it in an emergency. When he didn’t reply after a minute, she called him, only to have the call go directly to voicemail. That’s when the tears welling in her eyes began to fall. She said a silent prayer and asked God to watch over the whole situation.
John walked over with a paper in his hands. “I got the pricing list. It looks reasonable.” He took one look at her and exclaimed, “What’s wrong? Do you not like the cakes here?”
“No, it’s not that. There’s a lockdown at school.” She held up her phone to show him the text message. “They don’t do lockdowns unless it’s something serious. Maybe one of the students got upset and acted out or—I don’t even want to think about the possibilities.” She blew out a shaky breath and wiped her eyes. “I tried calling Micah, but he’s not picking up. I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m sure the school knows what they’re doing.” He knelt beside her chair and patted her knee. “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay—”
“It’s not okay! What if he’s hurt?” Or worse? Oh, she didn’t want to go there. Her chest was so tight, she could hardly breathe. All she could think about was how she never got to tell Micah how she felt. She never told him she loved him. “I want to go home. I need to go home.”
“Now? We should stay calm and find out what’s going on. Why don’t we check the news or—I know, talk to your dad. He’s a cop. He should know what’s happening.”
Yes, why hadn’t she thought of that? “Thank you, John. I’ll call my dad.”
Her dad picked up on the third ring. “Hey sweetie, how are you? I thought you might be calling today.”
“Daddy, the school …,” she managed to choke out between sobs, “Micah ...”
“Let me talk to him,” John offered as he took the phone.
Lucy watched as John explained the situation to her dad. He described the text message she had received, then paused to listen. His eyebrows rose in understanding and the worry lines on his forehead disappeared. He gave her a small smile before he hung up the phone.
“First of all,” John began, “everything’s fine.”
At those words, she felt a weight lift from her chest. “Micah’s okay?”
“He should be. The school’s on lockdown because of a chemical spill in the area. All the businesses and residences in a two-mile radius were ordered to stay indoors until the spill gets cleaned up.”
“Oh, that’s all? I don’t mean that’s all, but it’s not as bad as I thought. I’m so glad.” Looking upward, she added, “Thank you, Lord.”
“I’m glad, too.”
Given John’s answer, Lucy expected his tone to be more gracious, but it fell flat. She met his gaze and saw sadness in his blue eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Not really.” He took the seat across from her, his shoulders slouched in defeat. “I need to ask you a question, Lucy.”
“What is it?”
He hesitated. “Do you want to marry me?”
She shook her head as if she hadn’t heard him right. Did he know? “What?”
“Do you want to be my wife?” This time his voice was firm. “Because if you don’t, please tell me now.”
The pain on his face tore at her heart. It hurt her even more to know she was responsible for it. But it was time to be honest with him … and herself. She removed the engagement ring from her hand and set it on the table. “I’m sorry, John.”
He winced. “I was hoping you would tell me I was wrong.”
She shook her head, finally finding the courage to say the words he needed to hear. “I can’t marry you. I’m so sorry.”
He took the ring and stared at it sadly. “I think I knew ever since the first night I met him; I just didn’t want to believe it.”
“Met who?”
“Micah. I know how much he means to you. I wondered if I would ever be able to take his place in your life. For a while I thought I had. You were willing to come here with me and it felt like we were moving forward, but your reaction just now …”
She held her breath, waiting for him to say what she already knew.
“It showed me you’re still in love with him.”
Air filled her lungs again, expanding with the certainty of John’s words. If only the truth setting her heart free didn’t have to feel like a death sentence for him. “I never meant for this to happen, John.”
He shook his head. “It is what it is. Maybe I was too eager to make thin
gs happen. I put you in a tough situation when I proposed at the dance, didn’t I?”
“I was caught off guard. I mean we hadn’t even talked seriously about marriage yet. It was a touching gesture, but it wasn’t meant for me.”
“I was excited to meet someone like you, but more than that, I wanted my mom to be happy. I should’ve known you can’t force love.”
Neither could one deny love, which was what she’d been doing. If she had been honest with Micah, she wouldn’t be in this situation right now. “I never meant to hurt you, John. Please know that.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized again, not knowing what else to say.
“I’m sorry, too.” He sighed. “So, what do we do now?”
“I’d like to go home.”
“Okay. I’ll take you to the airport.”
“No, please stay. I can get a taxi.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine. Thank you though.”
“All right,” he accepted reluctantly.
She clutched her tote bag to her chest and rose. “Please take care of yourself.”
John stood as well and stepped forward to give her a hug, then offered her his hand instead. “You, too.”
Lucy gave him one last wave as she exited the bakery into the bright sunshine and possibly, an even brighter future.
* * *
An hour later, Lucy had checked out of the hotel and arrived at the airport, ready to take the next flight to California. She couldn’t wait to see Micah again. Only two days ago, she had arrived confused and torn. Today, surrounded by the tall swaying palm trees behind her and the departures terminal in front, she was surer than ever of what she wanted. She’d rather be back home doing mundane day-to-day stuff with the man she loved than in a tropical paradise by herself. Only five hours—and the longest security checkpoint line—stood between her and Micah.
It seemed like everyone was heading home. Passengers of all ages and stages of life stood outside, waiting to have their luggage scanned. Lucy lined up as well, setting her carry-on down at her feet. She spotted a young couple a few feet ahead wrapped in a warm embrace. The man rested his chin on top of the woman’s head while her hands went around his waist, ending up in the back pockets of his shorts. The tender way they looked at each other made her feel like she was intruding upon an intimate moment, yet she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She wanted what they had. She wanted to be Micah’s and she wanted Micah to be hers. And she didn’t want to wait anymore.
Taking her phone out, she opened her text messages. There was still no reply from Micah, but at least she knew he was safe. She typed a couple of lines to him—Hi Mikey, I’m coming home early. I’d like to see you—and hit the send button. She placed the phone back in her jean pocket and kicked her bag forward as the line moved. Between checking her phone for the time and for new texts, she spent the next ten minutes talking to the Lord. He already knew her heart’s cry, but she prayed her desires would be in line with His. If it was His will for her and Micah to have a future together, she would embrace it with open arms. If not … she would grieve and move on. Oh, how she hoped it would be the former.
With three people ahead of her at the checkpoint, Lucy decided to check her phone one last time. As soon as she opened her texts, she saw three flashing dots next to Micah’s name. He was replying! The dots disappeared, then reappeared before a message popped up. You’re going home? Where are you?
She quickly typed, At the airport. My flight’s in an hour. Are you okay? I heard about the lockdown.
What lockdown? Hold on, I’ll call you.
Her phone rang after a few seconds. “Mikey!”
“Lucy, what lockdown? What are you talking about?”
His voice warmed her in a way the humidity of the island couldn’t. She was so relieved to hear from him. “The chemical spill near school. Aren’t you there? I thought that was why you didn’t pick up your phone when I called earlier.”
“I’m actually not at school.” The sound of traffic—cars honking and motorcycles whizzing by—echoed in the background. “Where did you say you were again?”
How strange. Why wasn’t Mikey working today? “I’m waiting in line to go through security. Did you take the day off?”
“I did.” He paused. “I thought it was time I did something I should’ve done a long time ago.”
“You’re playing hooky? I didn’t know you had it in you.” She could picture his smile. Hearing him happy made her happy. Even with the distance between them and the abrupt way they had parted a few days ago, there was no awkwardness to their conversation. She was so thankful for that. It was proof of how strong and deep their friendship was. “I hope you’re doing something relaxing or fun. Or both.”
“Oh, I am. I most definitely am. It would be even better if you joined me.”
“I wish I could, but it’ll be late by the time I land.” Lucy stepped up to the TSA agent and handed him her ticket and driver’s license. Once he cleared her to go through, she picked up her bag and put it on the moving belt of the x-ray machine. She also placed her purse and flip-flops in a large gray bin behind it. “Hey, I’m going through the checkpoint now. Can I call you back in a few minutes?”
“No, Luce, that’s not going to work.”
“What? It’s only for a minute. I’m holding up the line. I gotta go—”
“Stop and turn around.”
“What? I can’t. I’ll call you back, I promise.”
“Lucy Choi, turn around!”
Micah’s voice was louder and clearer now, almost as if he were a few feet behind her—but how could that be? Lucy noticed the TSA agent behind the x-ray machine shift his attention from the monitor to her. In fact, all the passengers around her had grown silent and were focused on her. Wide grins lit up their faces. What was going on?
A little girl behind her spoke up, her high-pitched voice in awe. “Is that your boyfriend?”
Lucy spun around. A tall and handsome man waved at her from behind the roped-off line. Wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt with khaki shorts and loafers, he looked oh-so pleased with himself. His dark brown eyes, insistent and unwavering—with those crinkles at the corners that she loved—held her gaze. The tenderness in them told her all she needed to know. Micah had come for her.
“Will you join me, Lucy?”
His voice was still in her ear, but she could see him mouthing the words. She lowered her phone and nodded. She began moving in time to the rhythm of her heartbeat, skipping over the pavement with her bare feet as she weaved through the crowd.
“Miss, wait! Your luggage!”
She’d get her belongings later, but for now the only thing Lucy wanted to do was run to Micah. At the end of the line, she squeezed under the rope and found him waiting there. A sudden shyness overcame her and uncertainty crept into her mind. Why had he really come? “Mikey, what are you doing here?”
“The real question is why you’re here. What are you doing going home already?” He glanced around. “Where’s John?”
The reality of what she had done hit her, unleashing a flood of tears. As an actor, she could cry on demand with a thought, but this reaction came from someplace deep in her gut. It was rooted in fear and regret and longing, so much longing. Her throat was so constricted she couldn’t speak. She held up her ringless hand, hoping Micah got the message.
“You guys broke up?” he asked in disbelief. He repeated the words, this time with obvious relief. “You guys broke up.”
Lucy nodded. “I couldn’t marry him … not when I’m in love with someone else.”
The smile on Micah’s face wavered as he choked up. “That’s why I came. I couldn’t let you marry someone else … not when I’m in love with you.”
That was all she needed to hear. She jumped into his open arms and buried her face in his chest. “I love you, too. I think I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
He pulled back to look i
n her eyes and gently wiped away her tears. “Me, too. Maybe ever since the day we met. But most definitely after we shared that kiss.”
Lucy shook her head, not knowing whether to laugh or groan, so she did both. “I thought we agreed never to talk about it again?”
“You can forget everything you want about that night except for the five seconds our lips met. Because that’s when everything changed … in the best way.” He paused, swallowing hard. “I changed. I used to be afraid of what would happen if I let myself get close to someone. But you showed me it was okay to be vulnerable. From the moment we met you trusted me to take care of you. You trusted me enough to let me give you your first kiss. Being with you, Lucy, is like watching the sun set. You know what’s going to happen and you don’t expect anything new because you’ve seen it before, but it still surprises you with its beauty. You bring that kind of wonder into my life every day. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
If it weren’t for Micah holding her up, Lucy might have melted into a puddle right then and there. Was this for real? The Lord was answering her prayers, and it was more wonderful than she could have imagined.
The perfect way she fit in his arms—snug and secure—made sense, just like how they made sense. It was like the pieces of a puzzle coming together, their edges and curves blending to form a complete picture. The evidence of God’s hand upon their lives, working everything together for good … all beginning from when they met fifteen years ago. “Maybe you can’t imagine life without me because I’ve always been there, first as the girl next door, then as your colleague at school. I’ve always been tagging along. I’m glad you didn’t get tired of me.”
“I could never get tired of you. Frustrated, yes,” he chuckled, “but never tired. I didn’t buy those shoes for you so you’d walk away from me. If I had known all the trouble they would bring, I would never have given them to you last year.”
“But maybe those heels were what we needed to get us to this point. God still worked everything out for our good, just like you said.” She smiled and pulled him close. “I got the heels and the guy. I’m so glad you’re here. I thought last Christmas was great, but this is the best Christmas ever, hands-down. This is the best gift I could have asked for.”
