by Nour Zikra
I reached for my phone on the dashboard and dialed my mother’s number, something I hadn’t done in months. She picked up on the third ring.
“Well, if it isn’t my daughter,” Erica said. Noise of people talking and laughing erupted in the background. “What made you call?”
Chitchat was the last thing I wanted to do. “Who’s my dad? Tell me everything you remember about him.”
She hesitated on the other end of the line and whispered, “Hey, this isn’t a good time. I’m at the nail salon.”
“No. I don’t have time for your excuses. I need to know, and I need to know now.”
“There’s not much to tell. I didn’t know him.”
“Try to remember.”
She sighed. “He was tall and had your eyes. He never told me his name. I just don’t know. I was with another guy at the time, but we did a blood test, so we know you’re not his daughter.”
I reached Sunny Meadows and parked in my usual spot. “Anything else you remember?”
She thought for a moment and said, “He was charming. That’s all I can tell you.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“Hey, Addy?”
She sounded like she was smiling, and that made me cringe. She was probably prepping herself for a wild date.
“Yes?” I said.
“I miss you.”
The words made my stomach churn. I knew deep down they were lies. I still remembered how she had come home drunk one night after Grandma Di, her mom, died. She’d lashed out at Reed and me, calling us names and telling us she should have given us up for adoption. Those words back then had been the truth. She had meant them.
“Addy?”
Not wanting to go down that road, I hung up. As soon as I did, I remembered Devin. I had just done . . . something to him, and I didn’t know if there was a way to take it back.
Chapter Eight
ADRIEL
Water trickled down my body, warm and tender. It washed the dried blood off my back and knees, making me feel almost like myself again. Almost.
Minutes seemed to go by. I didn’t move. I stood underneath the showerhead, relishing in my Father’s masterwork on Earth. Humans had it good . . . really good.
When I got out of the shower, I stepped in front of the mirror and studied myself. I had never seen my face; never needed to. I’d had my wings, and they were more than enough to satisfy me. However, as I stood looking at my reflection, I felt like any other human with a fragile body.
I shifted so that my back faced the mirror and looked over my shoulder at the burns. Hours ago, my skin was raw, but now red, bulging scars had replaced the blisters. I ran my fingers over some of the scars and felt a sting. They were obviously still healing, but they weren’t as bad as they should’ve been.
Outside Addy’s bathroom door, a pair of jeans and a crumpled T-shirt waited for me on the floor. After wrapping my shroud around my bottom, I put on the clothes and inspected myself in the mirror once more.
The first five-o’clock shadow I’d ever had screamed of my mortality. Along with the blue veins and the beating heart, I was a walking, talking man with numbered days. How many days exactly? I didn’t know.
My reflection was still eyeing me when my vision blackened. From within the darkness, a single firefly appeared, its light blinking on and off as it hovered inches from my nose.
“Hey,” I said. “Who are you?”
The firefly froze in place, its big black eyes watching me. I waved my hand around, trying to touch it, but I felt nothing where the tiny creature should have been.
“You’re not a firefly, are you?”
The insect flapped its wings again and flew away. I tried to follow it and crashed into the bathroom sink.
“Wait, where are you going?”
The firefly had left.
Everything stayed black for a few seconds, though my senses were more aware of everything around me. Out of nowhere, Addy came into view. She wasn’t in the room with me; I could tell from the shadowy edges of my vision. She wore the same clothes she had earlier, but she was in someone else’s living room. Dozens of dirty plates and old takeout boxes sat on the coffee table behind her. Her eyes were wet and red.
“Did you cheat on me?” she asked someone.
I concentrated on the direction she was looking at. My view shifted to the left, stopping when a man with a slightly crooked nose came into view.
The man laughed. Addy didn’t think he was funny. After arguing with him for a moment, she pressed her body against his.
“Devin, I need to know,” she said. “Did you cheat on me?”
Devin’s still eyes mirrored Addy’s angry face for a long time before he finally gave her the answer she seemed to want. Still, even that answer made her angry.
“Addy, please. I need you to forgive me,” he said.
The pupils of his blue eyes started dilating. Addy didn’t notice, because she was digging one of the tools in her knife into his wrist. When she finished and his skin had a bloody L on it, she looked up.
That was when she noticed his eyes turning pitch-black.
“Oh my God.”
H
I sprinted out of the bathroom when my eyesight returned and rushed from room to room, only to find Addy gone, like my vision had revealed. I felt in my gut that it was too late; Addy had begun Lucifer’s mission.
My fear was proven right when I flung the main apartment door open and found Addy with her keys in hand and tears running down her face.
Her eyes met mine and she opened her mouth in a sob. “I screwed up.” She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, but more tears fell.
Her hands were shaking. I grabbed one of them and pulled her inside the apartment. She didn’t struggle. When we got into the kitchen, she staggered against the counter and cried.
“I messed up so bad.”
Wanting to get to the bottom of her actions, I straightened her up and turned her to face me. “You just sold his soul. Why did you do that?”
She was staring at the floor. Upon my words, she looked up, eyes wide. “How do you know what happened?”
I realized I hadn’t told her about my visions, how I’d seen her brother in hell and now her and that man named Devin.
“I’ve been having visions since I became human.” I shrugged like this wasn’t a big deal and leaned against the counter. “That’s not what’s important right now, though. Why did you cut Lucifer’s initial on that man?”
Addy paced the room, stopping just once to grab a water bottle from the fridge. “That’s what I was asked to do. I help create Lucifer’s army by marking people with Lucifer’s initial using their blood, and Reed goes free. Otherwise, he dies. What else can you expect me to do?” She took a gulp of water and set the bottle down on the counter. “My brother is more important than all those souls combined.”
I watched her for a minute without saying a word.
“What?” She threw her hands into the air and raised her tone. “I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. My brother matters to me!”
“It’s not the only way to get Reed back. You didn’t have to sell that guy’s soul.”
She stopped pacing and looked me dead in the eyes. “That guy?” Her nose wrinkled. “That guy deserves what he got.”
“Then why are you so nervous?” I moved away from the counter and stood tall in front of her. “If you truly believe that you did the right thing, why are you acting guilty?”
She flinched. “Because.” She flapped her sweatshirt collar against her chest to draw air in and cool herself off. “Because I wish I didn’t have to be the one to hand him what he deserves.”
“You mean you don’t want to act like God.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then don’t help Lucifer. He might be your father, but that doesn’t mean you have to help him. We’ll get Reed out another way.”
“He is not my f
ather,” she hissed. “I might have his genetics, but I’d burn in hell before I make him my dad.” She took off her sweatshirt, revealing a red tank top underneath. “And how do you propose we get Reed out?” She threw the sweatshirt on the kitchen stool.
With her glowering up at me, I couldn’t think of an answer. “We’ll think of something.”
“Yeah? Well, that’s not good enough.”
She took off for her room and left me pondering everything on my own. Was she right to go along with Lucifer’s plan?
Just like her, I’d messed up big time. I let a woman kill her son thinking I was doing the right thing. Where had that gotten me?
Addy didn’t know any better. She wanted her brother back. And it just so happened that she was willing to do whatever it took, no matter the cost. I knew that much from her actions today.
Chapter Nine
ADELAIDE
Locking myself in my room was the easiest thing I did that day. Away from Adriel, Lucifer, Devin, and Erica, I felt like I was back in my old life for just a split second.
I threw myself across the bed and lay there, facedown on top of the white cover, muffling the moans that kept coming out of my throat. It was bad enough that Adriel saw me at my lowest point. I shuddered. The idea of him hearing me cry was worse.
Devin kept coming back to me. His eyes. His begging. His confusion.
The monster he became.
Two weeks ago, I had woken up beside him, felt his cold nose against my bare neck, kissed his lips, and had a good conversation about our plans that weekend. Now I’d lost him forever. Never again would I hold him and smile. No more would hearing his name bring me happiness.
My throat felt like it was being sliced in half and chopped into pieces to be thrown in a salad bowl for demented monkeys to feast on, and the harder I tried to push back the tears, the more the pain increased.
Adriel was out there in the living room doing God knew what, but it wasn’t my responsibility to babysit him. Besides, everything started happening the minute he showed up. Though he was technically blameless in all this, I just didn’t care.
No, I didn’t care.
At some point while crying, my body surrendered to sleep.
H
The wooden gate with the slithering snake for a handle stood big and menacing in my dream again. This time, however, it stood ajar.
Standing a foot away, I looked into the dim entrance with narrowed eyes. “Hello?”
No one answered.
I reached an arm into the darkness and instantly felt heat travel from my fingers all the way to my armpit, which started sweating. If this wasn’t the entrance to hell, then nothing made sense. I swallowed and inched forward into the tunnel.
Fire blazed on either side of me, close enough that I felt its force but also far enough that it didn’t scorch me like a human getting barbecued. I took one slow step at a time and avoided turning my head—not even half an inch—out of worry that my hair would burn. When I finally reached the end of the tunnel of fire and stood in an empty cavelike chamber, I was panting and dying for the chilly wind of October.
In the middle of the floor, not too far from me, a crack suddenly split off in many directions. The fissures grew bigger, tearing the ground and opening the earth up. A scream echoed in the room. It took me a second to realize it had come out of me.
I started to run, but when the entirety of the ground got sucked into the abyss, I got dragged down with it.
H
I pushed myself off the bed, feeling sick to my stomach, and stood in total darkness. It was night outside. I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand and saw 7:00 p.m. flashing, which meant I’d slept almost the entire day.
Sweat drenched my chest and tank top. I wanted nothing more than to feel the cold air outside. I lifted the glass of the window next to me and let the icy chill inside. The rush of wind cooled me down, helped me breathe again.
I left the window open and went into the bathroom. I hadn’t showered since yesterday morning. I couldn’t take the sticky, stinking sweat permeating me and my clothes. I took off my tank top and jeans, mentally promising to burn them later, and hopped in the shower.
After using half of Pennsylvania’s water, I left the bathroom and searched my closet for just the right thing to wear. When I found it, I slipped on the skintight, one-shoulder black dress and adjusted the lace hem. I brushed the knots out of my wet hair and applied eyeliner and mascara to my eyes.
Just as I finished, someone knocked on the door.
“Yes?”
“It’s me,” Lizzy said and came into the room. “Woah, look at you.” She eyed my dress with a smile. “Is it date night?”
She still thought I was with Devin. Eventually, she would notice he wasn’t coming around. There was no need for me to talk about it. “No, Devin’s not coming along.”
Her eyebrow arched up. “Then where are you heading?”
“Euphoria.”
I grabbed my red clutch bag from the closet, stuffed my keys and wallet into it, and headed out of the room. Lizzy followed.
“I was thinking of going there myself,” she said. “Will your cousin be going?”
“Cousin?”
“Adriel.” She tilted her head toward the sleeping figure on the living room couch.
Oh. I stared at him for a moment, wondering whether he was comfortable on his stomach with his legs extending far beyond the armrest.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “He is recovering from a terrible back burn.”
To show her that I was right, I marched in my stilettos to where Adriel lay and lifted the shirt up, uncovering the flesh on Adriel’s back. To my surprise, the burns had almost healed. In their place were red scars, ones that should’ve taken many more weeks to form.
“He looks fine to me.” Lizzy stepped closer to him. “Man, is he a heavy sleeper or what?”
I shrugged. “Must be the medication.”
“Well, now he can come along to the club.”
“Maybe.”
My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten in a day. Lizzy shadowed me all the way to the kitchen and stared at the leftovers inside the fridge with me. Homemade hummus dip, vegetarian lasagna, soy milk, and a bowl full of kale salad. I didn’t want any of those things; they were Lizzy’s. I grabbed the one thing that appealed to me: the days-old spring roll container. I took one spring roll out and chomped it down. Lizzy stood in silence with her hands on the counter, waiting for me to finish.
“Lizzy, you’re being weird.”
She crossed her arms. “That’s only because you are.” She looked at Adriel on the couch and back at me. “I’m not blind. I saw how sweaty you both were this morning.”
I cringed. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and stared at its label for a long time. “So?”
“You’ve never mentioned a cousin named Adriel before.”
“So, I’ve never mentioned him. That’s not a reason to go all Sherlock on me.”
Lizzy tapped her clean and perfectly filed nails against the counter. “Addy, I’ve met your family. It pretty much consists of your brother. You yourself said you’ve never met any of your relatives and don’t even know who your dad is. I know when something’s off.”
I twisted the cap off the bottle and took a swig. When I set the bottle down, I was ready to take off. I started to head toward the door, but her words stopped me in place.
“Adelaide Shaw, where were you last night and why are you avoiding Devin?”
My head fell back. Unable to evade the questions anymore, I let out a groan. “He won’t be coming back. Okay?” I stared at the empty white wall above the door and tightened my hold on my clutch bag, making it wrinkle under my fingers. “He cheated.”
Lizzy didn’t say anything and didn’t move. I took that as my cue to leave.
Chapter Ten
ADRIEL
My wings felt heavy a
s they kept me in the air, flapping slowly just above the bed. Below me, Jenna, the human I protected, sat by her sleeping son’s side. She stroked his face and hummed a slow melody.
Matt had closed his eyes just a moment before. Jenna placed his arms over his stomach and chest, likely trying to give him the most comfort he could get. He couldn’t move on his own. It was up to her to help with that.
I could sense the sadness stewing inside her. Her son would never have a life, never make friends, never go to college. She would have to tuck his arms this way and that for the rest of his days. She would have to bathe him like a newborn.
Tears fell down Jenna’s cheeks and made their way to her chin, where they fell, one by one, over Matt.
The worst part was that she knew Matt hated being dependent on her. Every time she fed him, his eyes danced back and forth, begging her to make things different.
On the days she took him to the park in his special wheelchair, he watched the kids leaping from monkey bar to monkey bar with all the freedom in the world. Their limbs worked just fine, while he had to sit there with his head stuck in the same exact position and stare out like a ghost trapped inside a corpse.
Jenna knew all those things. She knew how badly her son hurt. For the past five out of fifteen years of his life, she had known. And I, being her guardian angel, knew that what she wanted to do, though wrong, was the only way to make things right.
So that night, I let her do it. I let her release him from his pain.
H
Someone kept shaking me. “Adriel? Dude, wake up.”
I remembered Addy and the punch she’d landed across my face at the hospital. Was she back for more punches?
“Rosy Cheeks?” I opened my eyelids just a crack.
