The Ian Dex Supernatural Thriller Series: Books 5 - 7 (Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department Box Sets Book 2)
Page 34
“I…uh…” I blinked a few times in disbelief and repeated, “No?”
He sighed.
“Chief,” he said, “I know you think I’m basically a waste of space.”
I went to reply but couldn’t find the words.
“And that’s cool,” Warren continued, “but I’m on the PPD because I’m good at what I do. Any wizard who has ample skill realizes how important it is to take it slow. Rushing wizardry is like jumping off an edge without first checking to see how far you’re going to be falling.”
“Why would you jump off an edge at all?” I pondered. “I suppose if you had on a parachute or something…”
He was eyeing me now.
The fact was I didn’t think Warren was a waste of space. Slower than a sloth trying to fuck a snail? Yes. But he was a solid wizard who had contributed to saving my team more than once over our time together. If I had the stats in front of me, they’d probably label Warren as the most utilized piece of the puzzle in the PPD.
It wouldn’t matter if I told him that, though. There were too many instances of me being short about how long it took for him to do even what appeared to be simple tasks.
He was methodical.
He was exacting.
He was slow.
In a nutshell, Warren was a wizard.
Did that mean he never screwed up? Not at all. But when he did make mistakes, they were often not as horrific as they could be. And, to his point, a wizard making mistakes could be catastrophic.
“Fair enough,” I said, bowing my head slightly, “but that being the case, and knowing the kind of time constraints we’re faced with here, what can you teach me that will be useful and efficient?”
“Runes,” he replied without hesitation. That was a rare thing. “Not creating them,” he amended while holding up a finger, “but rather reading and diffusing them.”
I gave him a funny look.
“Aren’t there, like, thousands of designs, though?”
“Billions,” he corrected me. Then he looked away. “Probably more. They’re all individualized by the wizard to some extent, but they share commonalities that make them easily read, if you know how.”
“Ah, cool.”
“Diffusing them, however, is quite a bit more complex.”
He dropped to the ground and pulled out a little stick that he used as a wand. It wasn’t a traditional wand, at least not like the kind you see in the movies. There was no store that wizards rushed off to in order to buy them. Warren had once stated that he’d found his while hiking through a forest in the northwest part of the United States. I never got into the specifics as to why he’d selected this particular stick, because I never really cared, but now that I was learning this stuff…
“Question for you,” I said, interrupting his drawing. “How come you chose that stick instead of all the others?”
“It’s a wand,” he said, appearing offended on its behalf.
“Oh, right,” I replied. “My apologies to the stick…erm, wand.”
He turned back to his work. “It called to me.”
“Ah,” I muttered. “That makes sense.”
“No, it doesn’t, man,” he mused. “It doesn’t make any sense at all, which is why I selected it to be my wand.”
“Were you smoking something at the time?” I asked.
“Probably.”
“Does it still call to you?” I ventured, thinking someone needed to tell Warren he was supposed to take all prescribed medications, not just the pretty ones. “Do you have conversations with it?”
He gave me a sidelong glance. “Of course.”
“Hmmm.” I sniffed in and asked, “Am I going to need a talking stick, too, or can I do whatever needs doing without one?”
“Again, man,” he said, looking annoyed, which was something I wasn’t used to seeing with Warren, “it’s a wand, not a stick.”
“Well, technically—”
“And you should have a wand, yes.” He continued his drawing. “You can decipher without one, but diffusing may be more difficult unless you just use your mage abilities. That can backfire, though, depending on how clever the wizard was who built the runes.”
That didn’t sound fun. I’d already suffered being shocked by fucking runes more often than I cared to recall. They hurt like hell. I didn’t even want to think about how bad it could be if I cast a spell at one and it backfired on me.
“That could be a problem, then,” I breathed.
“Why?”
“Because I highly doubt there are any talking sticks around here, Warren,” I responded, and then caught myself. “Sorry, wands.”
“You’ve always got me, pal,” The Admiral suggested.
“Oh yeah, that’s going to look great,” I replied with a grunt. “We’re in the midst of trouble and I have to whip you out and diffuse a rune.”
“That’d be badass, man!” The Admiral seemed rather enthusiastic regarding the prospect. “We’d be legendary. Think about it. Who else in all of the world of wizardry has a dick as a wand?”
“You’ll just have to use your finger,” Warren stated after a short pause. “It’s not ideal, man, but it’ll work.”
“Even though it doesn’t talk to me?”
His look told me I was being an idiot.
‘Professor Warren’ was not nearly as laidback as ‘subordinate Warren.’
Two minutes later, his rune was completed. It didn’t seem very complex. There were blue spokes running from a tiny green circle that sat at the center. The spokes attached to a larger red circle that encased everything. Some of the sections between the spokes were filled with a dark yellow color, the rest with blue. All in all, it looked like something you’d buy at a craft show.
“Do you know what this is?” he asked me as he stood up and pointed at the rune.
“A rune?”
That response garnered me another look.
I cleared my throat.
“No,” I said, which was surprising since I had been able to read the runes by Tommy Rocker’s without a problem. Maybe I’d lost that ability already or something? “I don’t know what kind of rune it is,” I admitted. “Did you do something special to hide it?”
“Yes.”
“Oh,” I said, scratching my neck. “I’m guessing not all wizards do that?”
“Most do,” he said. “It depends on how difficult they want to make things. Sometimes it’s better that people know what they’re dealing with so they stay away.”
“Ah, right.” I glanced at it again. “Okay, I give up…what is it?”
“Shocker rune.”
I stepped back.
“I hate those fucking things,” I said, staring at it. “They hurt like hell.”
“Yep,” he agreed. “That’s what they’re supposed to do, man.” He pointed again. “But what do you see when you look at the rune?”
I described the colors, the circles, and the tendrils.
Then, I said, “Hey, I thought Shockers were made with integrated x-patterns, not tendrils?”
“You can design them however you want, dude,” Warren commented. “The design you see with your eyes is what you need to use in order to unravel a rune. It’s what you see with your magic that defines what a rune actually represents.”
Okay, that was trippy.
“Huh?”
“Think of it like a present,” he explained. “What you’re seeing there is the wrapping paper. It’s the box that holds the truth of the rune underneath. Each box is different, but the underlying rune is either identical or highly similar to any Shocker that any wizard would create.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes. “There are different Shockers, sure, but they all share the same basic mechanics.” He pointed again. “Now, look at it with your magic instead of with your eyes.”
“Right, okay,” I said, turning my attention back to the rune. After about five seconds I asked, “How do I do that, again?”
“Look through the wrapping, man,�
� he instructed while pushing out his hands. “See beyond the shell. Dig deeper. Push past the layers of the onion. Split it down to the deepest recesses of—”
“Warren,” I interrupted, “I get it.”
“Ah, okay.”
I calmed my breathing a little and stared at the rune. At first, nothing happened. It was just a pretty little design like the ones I’d seen before. Not as intricate, obviously, but Warren hadn’t really spent a lot of time fleshing this one out.
Then I saw it.
It was almost like looking at an x-ray.
I was seeing the ‘bones’ of the rune. They were too dim at first, but after a few seconds, the details started to brighten. Pretty soon the wrapping faded and I was looking at the core of the damn thing.
That’s when I scoffed and let out a laugh.
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
Warren looked concerned. “What?”
“It literally says ‘Shocker’ right on it,” I stated while pointing.
“So?”
“Did you put that on there for my benefit or something?”
“No,” he answered seriously. “That’s how runes are managed.”
“They’re named?”
“Of course. How else would you do it?”
“Come on, man!” I was shaking my head uncontrollably. “That’s laughable, and those runes I saw at Tommy Rocker’s weren’t named like that.”
Finally, he relented and smiled.
“Oh, my God,” I said, staring at my resident wizard with wide eyes. “You just played a joke on me, Warren!”
“Sorry, Chief,” he giggled. “It’s something we do to all new wizards.”
I suppose I should have expected that. It was just like how we razzed junior officers now and then. Honestly, I kind of appreciated it after the whole ‘power mage’ revelation from Griff, Jasmine, and Rachel.
“Funny.”
“Thanks,” he said.
I shook my head. “It’s so weird that I could just read them at Tommy Rocker’s, but not here.”
He reached over and did a couple of things to the rune. When he pulled back, I could see it perfectly.
“Yeah, it was like that!” I exclaimed while pointing.
“Because whoever made those runes didn’t block them,” he pointed out.
He fiddled with it again.
It clouded back over.
“Ah, right.”
“Anyway, when you have to go through a protected rune you’ll need to look for the multiple sets of switches that are in the middle of the rune. Each one has a set. How they’re configured determines what the rune will do.”
“So they’re like dip switches?”
He looked at me appraisingly. “Exactly.”
“Is there a key somewhere that tells me what each setting is all about?”
“It’s in here,” he answered, tapping his first finger against my forehead. “Stare at the settings for a few moments and the answer will reveal itself.”
Sure enough, it did.
It wasn’t so much a visual image as it was the general feeling that I knew what the rune was engineered to do. That was actually pretty cool.
“Great,” I said, feeling at least somewhat accomplished. “Now, I was able to diffuse those non-protected ones without a fuss, but how do I diffuse a protected one?”
“Very carefully,” he replied.
CHAPTER 22
With the basics of runes out of the way, I only needed to get some pixie training under my belt. I knew Turbo wasn’t the pixie for the job, but he had skills I might need.
“But I’m not good with using Pixie Dust, Chief,” he complained while buzzing in front of me at eye-height. “I can use it, but I never really excelled at it.”
“I’m not worried about that, Turbo,” I replied in a calm voice. “I’m more concerned about the other skills you possess.”
“You mean foul language and name-calling?” he asked, plucking at his PPD cap. “I’m okay at that, but I’d say you’re probably better at it than I am.”
That was true. I’d heard him spew out a few choice names now and then, like when we’d busted him out of Red’s trunk, but if he and I were to go head to head in a Pixie Joke-Off contest, I’d annihilate him.
“I’m talking about your ability with technology,” I explained. “I suck at that stuff.”
“You want me to teach you tech?” he asked, his little face scrunched up. “Why?”
“Because I may need it when I’m facing those amalgamites, Turbo.”
“I don’t see how,” he said, shaking his head. “But even if you did, there’s no way I could teach you everything I know without having a couple of years to do it.”
One of the primary issues I had with Turbo, and a few other techies I’d worked with over the years, was that they took things too literally. Obviously he couldn’t teach me everything he knew, but I didn’t need to know everything.
“I get that, Turbo,” I said without inflection, “but there has to be some type of wisdom you can impart, maybe?”
“Oh, sure, sure,” he said, flying back and forth in front of me as if pacing in the air. “Let’s see.” He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “Ah hah! Okay, so those Netherworld emails where a guy says that his uncle died and he’s going to split a couple million with you if you give him your bank info…those are fake.”
I rubbed my temples.
“No good?” he asked.
“No.”
“Hmmm.” He snapped his fingers again. “Don’t ever give your password to someone online!”
“Seriously?” I said, staring at him. “Everyone knows that, Turbo.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” he replied. Then, he gave me a hopeful look. “Don’t take any wooden nickels?”
My initial thought was to guesstimate how far I could launch a pixie from my current location, but I held myself in check. He was clearly doing his best here. He just didn’t really have much to offer me.
That’s when he rubbed his fingers together, held his nose for a second, and then held up a tiny key.
He gazed at it lovingly.
“I suppose I could just give you my universal access key,” he said with some hesitation. “It might help.”
I took it from him, noting that it was only the size of a fingernail in my hands.
“What’s it do?” I asked.
“Hold it up to any door that has an electronic lock and it’ll open it.”
I gawked at him. “No shit?”
“It might take a little while to work as it seeks to crack the code of the door,” he explained, “but I’ve never seen it fail.”
“Sweet!”
“But you have to be careful with it,” he warned. “It wasn’t easy to build that and I don’t want to have to do it again.”
“Oh, right,” I said, looking for the best place to put it. Then I recalled how he brought it out. “Uh…where did you keep it?”
“It’s got a magical element to it,” he replied. “You just rub your fingers and hold your nose and it’ll disappear into your flesh.”
I frowned. “Why do you have to hold your nose?”
“Because I didn’t want the key to come out whenever I rubbed my fingers together, so I added an element to the sequence when I was working with the mage who helped me.”
I glanced over my shoulder at my three mages. My assumption was that Griff was the one who aided Turbo since he was most often working with the pixie.
“Okay,” I said.
Then I began rubbing the key between my fingers as I held my nose. About three seconds in, the key disappeared. I didn’t feel a thing and I couldn’t see the key hiding under the skin or anything. As a test, I rubbed my fingers again as I held my nose. The key came back.
“Dude,” I said with glittering eyes, “that’s fucking sweet. I’m loving this thing!”
Turbo whimpered.
CHAPTER 23
T he three valkyries had com
e back onto the field. They were all standing right next to me, clearly hoping I’d give them another touch of yum-yum.
“Hello, ladies,” said The Admiral.
He was clearly into it. Wasn’t he always? But I had other business on my mind.
I’d gained enough knowledge from my training to hopefully extend my chances against the valkyries. I didn’t need to win, but getting past ten seconds would be nice. And while it was clear that using my magical love-touch had been somewhat helpful, I had the feeling it wouldn’t be as effective the second time around. I mean, it’d certainly give them the tingles, but the ladies wouldn’t let it cloud their judgment now that they knew better.
Besides, it wasn’t like I was going to use that spell on someone without their consent. That’d be beyond wrong. Plus, I would be facing my ‘brothers,’ so…ew.
“Agreed,” confirmed The Admiral.
To make this even more challenging, it was pretty clear that my use of magic was not the best idea. I didn’t think I’d ever forget the look on Rachel’s face when my words compelled her. It frankly made me sick.
Small bursts of magic were probably okay for healing and such, but full launches of mayhem? No.
So that left me back at square one against these three.
Unless…
I moved back away from them and set my hands to glowing.
There was little doubt that Griff, Jasmine, and Rachel were all giving me dubious stares at the moment, but I knew what I was doing.
Maybe.
I lifted my hands up and began making those same little magic pellets that I’d made before. They wouldn’t do any damage, of course, but that wasn’t the point. My goal was to use them as a diversion.
A few pellets raced from my hands, shooting straight up so the valkyries wouldn’t think I was starting my attack.
Their eyes followed each one as if they were watching a light show.
Perfect.
With their attention elsewhere, I began a slow morph into partial wolf form. Once I felt my clothing start to strain under the pressure of my change, I stopped and began to gradually circle behind the valkyries.
It was more challenging to keep their attention on my magic since I was moving around them, but I quickly learned that I could curve the path of the pellets. They zipped straight out, arced left, and then flew right up to join the others. That could prove majorly useful in battle, especially if I could manage that with larger spells.