Space in His Heart

by Roxanne St Claire

  But he’d wake in the violet-gold half-light of dawn and walk out to the end of his dock with a cup of coffee to admire the heavenly reflection on the water every morning. Only then did he acknowledge that he missed her. Truly missed her. He’d wonder what she was doing at those same moments, imagining her sleeping in her home in cold and cloudy Boston, the now familiar stirring of desire shooting through him.

  He wanted her so damn bad, he felt like a teenage boy.

  With the exception of a few hours on Christmas spent with the Clarks, Deke had only allowed himself one free evening since she’d left. He used that to invite Caryn Camden for a quiet drink and to tell her that he wouldn’t be calling anymore.

  The news didn’t seem to surprise her, since she let him off the hook with a sweet smile and only a shadow of sadness in her eyes. He couldn’t enjoy the playful distraction she offered, not when his mind dwelled on a completely different woman. Regardless of what Jessica decided, he wanted to be free for the possibility.

  He approached her front door, which had been left ajar, and gently pushed it in as he knocked.

  “Hey, anybody I know in there or did she send down a pinch hitter from the majors?”

  Familiar laughter greeted him, then a flash of something ice blue and shimmering squeezed the air from his chest.

  “Whoa.” He felt like an idiot, but it was all he could manage.

  She literally took his breath away and all he could do was stare. Up and down. From the thick tussle of dark curls cascading out of some sparkly clip over bare shoulders, down to a slash of satin that clung to her breasts and waist in some kind of magical, miraculous way.

  When he finally made his way back to her face, he caught the glint in her eyes as she reached over to touch his bow tie. “You clean up nice, too, Stockard.”

  “Maybe we should go in the limo after all.” He stole another glance at the dress. And the cleavage she rarely showed in her business attire.

  “What do you mean? It’s here, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, but I wanted to drive. Just to have my own car. He can follow. But you look so… amazing.”

  She surprised him with an agreeable tilt of her head and a shrug. “That’s no problem. But, once we get to the Universal party, you need to leave with Sydney Lynn in the limo. No one arrives at the red carpet in a Corvette. Not even you.”

  He watched her gather up a wrap thing that matched her dress and inhaled the sultry, smoky perfume that clung to her. She picked up a tiny handbag, a small leather notebook, and her cell phone, reminding him that she was going out for work, not play.

  “I would like you to drive over with me, though.” He held the front door open for her and couldn’t resist running his knuckles over the tempting soft skin of her shoulder. “You know, so you can coach me on how to act and what to say.”

  She shot him a skeptical look, then a wry smile. “Just remember. Sydney Lynn’s your date. That’s the whole idea.”

  Everything about her glistened. Her eyes, the subtle evening makeup, even the lipstick that made her mouth downright appetizing.

  He ached for a taste.

  “I know you’re on duty, sweetheart. I’ll be good.”

  * * *

  Jessica inhaled the leather of the Corvette and noticed how it mingled with Deke’s clean, masculine scent. As much as she wanted to pretend this was their date, she flipped open her portfolio and began to review the typed agenda and press list.

  She tried to concentrate on briefing Deke about what to expect but repeatedly lost her train of thought as he hit the accelerator, catapulting her into the seat with some baby-Gs, as he called the force that left her breathless and him amused.

  “We’ve arranged some interviews with the media that will take place before you meet Syd—”

  His hand left the gearshift and settled onto her thigh, a steady thumb circling the fabric. “Am I distracting you?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. You know I hate even talking about the media.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because I missed you.”

  Turning to look out the window, Jessica let his comment sink in and destroy all her resolve.

  He reached over and flipped the portfolio closed. “Stop working and talk to me. How was sunny New England?”

  She sighed. “Not.”

  “And your boyfriend, Jo?”

  She grinned at him. “Pregnant.”

  “Guess that sort of complicates things.”

  He had no idea. “It was the only bright spot in an otherwise dark week,” she admitted. And even that bright spot only left her questioning her own choices regarding motherhood and marriage. And fantasizing about Deke.

  “No snowboarding down Beacon Street?” he asked. “No fine dining at Bahston hot spots?”

  She dropped her head back on the seat. “Your imagination is as far off as your accent. I spent the days at my office and the nights at my condo. That’s my life.”

  She didn’t want to tell him that her world had turned cold and unwelcoming in her absence. Even Rita seemed to believe the rumors that Jessica was on the outs. When Jessica had asked her to get her stacks of client supplies, files and stationery, Rita had returned with only NASA materials and the coy response that Carla had instructed her not to give Jessica anything for the other accounts.

  She considered confiding her professional worries for a moment, but it all seemed so blissfully far away from the purring engine of the Corvette, her dreamy silk dress, and his relentless hand resting just above her knee. Forget Carla. Forget babies that would be born to other women. This moment was too nice.

  “How ’bout you, Deke? Been busy?”

  “Yep. Living at the OPF, taking things apart and trying to put them back together again.”

  “Any progress?”

  He shrugged. “Some, but not enough.”

  “Will it launch on time?”

  “Has to. No choice. We’re doing everything possible. Skip Bowker, though…” He shook his head and sighed.

  “What? What’s the matter?”

  “I just can’t figure that guy. There’re a lot of holes in his work, but I can’t find any evidence of a mistake.”

  Jessica studied his profile. “Deke, would you go up on Endeavour if you were scheduled?”

  His features grew tight and the fine vein in his neck became slightly visible. His response to what she considered a rhetorical question surprised her.

  “It would never occur to me to question any assignment. That’s what I’m trained to do.” Then he turned to her. “Don’t go there.”

  Hurt by the strength of his warning, she turned back to the window so he couldn’t see the look on her face. She felt his hand on her leg, a gentle touch.

  “I just meant I don’t want to dwell on it tonight. You’re too pretty to talk about shuttle launches.” He shot a sidelong glance and smiled broadly. “Way, way too pretty.”

  “You better be prepared to dwell on it tonight. You’re talking to reporters and it could come up.”

  “All true,” he said. “But you are pretty.”

  She tried to smirk at him but couldn’t find the heart in the face of his genuine compliments. She’d just have to stay away from the Endeavour subject. “So, what do you want to know about Sydney Lynn? Have you seen any of her movies?”

  “Was she in the one with the three women plotting to kill their husbands? Dance Lessons?”

  Jessica nodded and smiled, knowing what he’d say next.

  “With the, shall we say, rather memorable outside shower scene?”

  Of course. “The only thing any man liked about that movie.”

  “What’s not to like?”

  “You’re being a good sport about this,” she told him as they pulled into the lot at Universal. “And I know you’re going to do really well.”

  He grinned at her. “Blondes are my specialty.” At her surprised look, he added, “But not my preference.”

&n
bsp; * * *

  The minute they arrived at the richly appointed ballroom on the studio lot, the entourage of Universal people took over and hustled Deke away. Jessica held back, wanting to let him get fully immersed in the experience but watching with fascination as he worked the crowd and charmed everyone in sight. What a remarkable and complicated man he’d turned out to be.

  As her gaze stalked his every move, he turned and caught her staring from across the room. He winked, sending fireworks down to her toes.

  Finally, the double doors of the ballroom opened, and Sydney Lynn Lancaster made a suitably grand entrance with her own entourage of hangers-on. She magnetically drew everyone’s attention as an audible gasp rippled through the crowd. Signature platinum waves glistened like glass, cascading over a red, sequined dress that dropped backless to the very lowest possible point of her tailbone.

  Deke greeted her with his most devilish, appealing smile. Sydney Lynn practically melted at the sight of him, never allowing more than six inches between her and her date. She slipped her arm into his and introduced him to everyone as “my commander” and acted as though they’d known each other since childhood. Intimately.

  At the imposing entrance to the IMAX theater, the press and photographers filled the first several rows of many bleachers lining the red carpet. Jessica and Stuart worked together to find the most important reporters, give them fact sheets and press kits about Deke, and encourage the photographers to get a shot that every wire service in the world would pick up.

  Just before eight, the deafening cheers signified the arrival of the big names. Standing behind the first few rows of camera crews from E! and Entertainment Tonight, Jessica whispered some instructions to the producers and on-air talent, wanting to be sure Deke got some interview time and that he wasn’t lost next to Sydney Lynn.

  As his limousine pulled up to a stop and the official greeter opened the door, Deke stepped out and the crowd responded. How did he know to do that perfect wave? He looked like he’d done this his whole damn life. He reached back into the limo and held out a hand to assist Sydney Lynn and the crowd exploded with love and the excitement of seeing her in the flesh.

  Sydney gave them what they wanted. Her smile was as bright as the thousands of flashing cameras, her dress as daring and unforgettable as the roles she played. Jessica couldn’t help but notice how her long red glove stayed wound around Deke’s arm and that the movie star treated her date to almost as much attention as she gave the crowd.

  He certainly didn’t seem to mind, showering her with admiring gazes and whispering in her ear, making her laugh as he slowly escorted her down the red carpet and through the screaming crowds. What the hell was he saying to her?

  Didn’t matter. He was doing what he was supposed to do. He was just doing it really, really well.

  As they reached the press section, the impromptu interviews along the red carpet started, and although Sydney was the focus, Jessica could see that Deke managed to get a few seconds here and there of airtime.

  She stepped back into the crowd as he approached her section, not wanting to distract him. But as he stood close to Sydney Lynn, offering his undivided attention to the answer she was giving an excited young reporter from FOX News, his gaze moved up into the stands and he found her. A hint of a secret lifted his lips and an instant, lightning-like realization shook her to the bone.

  I’m in love with him.

  * * *

  The rest of the event passed in a blur. Jessica managed to talk to enough reporters and photographers to be sure Deke got included in the coverage as more than just ‘Sydney Lynn’s date.’

  She went through the motions of answering questions. She handed out press kits. But her whole being buzzed with awareness of new feelings. She’d have to face him and fight the longing to tell him. She’d have to be near him and resist holding him and loving him. Somehow, she’d have to resist the ache to make love to him.

  She could barely breathe with all she couldn’t do, but wanted to.

  It was past eleven by the time the lengthy drama finished and the stars had accepted their rounds of applause and the producers had all made their speeches. The last venue for celebration was a cavernous restaurant owned by the world-renowned chef, Dante Cardinelli. The wood and chrome two-story atrium of “Inferno” had been transformed into a play place for lovers of airplanes and combat. Deke and Sydney Lynn were strategically placed at a table in the center of the wide-open room with other stars.

  From her vantage point across the room, Jessica watched him lean on one arm, close to Sydney’s ear, whispering, making her laugh. The room echoed with the jazzy sounds of an orchestra that couldn’t begin to drown out the party banter of the crowd. A reporter from the New York Daily News hollered above the din to get Jessica’s attention and ask for an interview.

  “You can try,” Jessica answered with a shrug. “But I don’t think she’s doing any more interviews tonight.”

  “I don’t want Sydney, ma’am. I want that fighter pilot astronaut guy.” The young reporter looked over to the center table. “He’s the great story. And I want a photo. Of him alone. One nobody else has.”

  Jessica couldn’t resist the request. “Let me see what I can do. I have to get his attention.”

  Which wouldn’t have been that hard about three hours ago, but she was beginning to doubt her ability to tear him away from the incredible Ms. Lancaster.

  She worked her way through the room to his table, only to see him rise to take Sydney to the dance floor. Jeez. You don’t have to dance with her, too.

  Mesmerized, Jessica watched Deke put his arm on Sydney’s bare back and guide her around, never taking his gaze off her, never pausing the easy conversation.

  She wound her way back through the crush of tables and partiers to find the reporter and tell him they were finished with interviews. She wanted to go home.

  “I don’t think it’s going to happen,” she told him.

  He looked disappointed, but suddenly his face brightened. “Here he comes!”

  Jessica turned and saw Deke making his way to her, loosening his bow tie. His direct gaze burned a hole in her as every cell came back to life at the fire in his eyes.

  “Hey,” he said as he approached. “Where’ve you been?”

  Her pulse ratcheted higher as she tried to steady her breathing. “Working, Stockard.”

  Ignoring the reporter, he leaned down close to her ear. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her, but he just whispered, “She’s boring.”

  “Oh, I can tell.” She smiled and held his gaze far longer than necessary. “Will you do one more interview? Then I promise I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the night.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” His sexy voice nearly did her in.

  “One more interview.” She tried to stay professional. “Then I’m going home with Stuart and Wendy.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I’m done, Deke. You’re not.”

  He put his arm around her shoulder and glanced across the room. “Come with me,” he whispered.

  As he guided her away, he turned to the reporter. “I need to speak with my publicist for a moment, then I’ll do your interview. Excuse us.”

  He led her into the direction of a darkened hallway off the kitchen. In an alcove full of cartons and supplies and the overpowering scents of the kitchen, he stopped and put both arms around her.

  “Deke? What’s the—”

  He kissed her hard on the mouth, crushing her lips and pulling her tightly against him. She had no thoughts except the raw response that shook her. Opening her mouth to him, she kissed him with the same fury. Their tongues connected, wet and warm and delicious.

  When they finally parted, all she could do was attempt to regain her balance. And nearly failed.

  “Don’t go to sleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  This time, Jessica lit the candles and drew her bath expec
ting Deke’s late-night visit. She mulled over the implications of his parting comment, certain that she understood what he was telling her. Although it killed her to take off the incredible gown she had found in Bloomingdale’s last week in Boston, she wanted to bathe and relax and relive the extraordinary moments of the night. She wanted to prepare for him.

  Tonight, she was breaking the rules. Good girl Jessica Marlowe, straight-A student and star employee would be smashing propriety and agency rules to bits. She’d go back to being an overachiever tomorrow and hide her sin from whomever she had to. But, tonight, she wanted to give her body and soul to the man she loved.

  After luxuriating in a long and fragrant bubble bath, Jessica fluffed her hair and slipped on a thin cotton tank undershirt and a silky pair of men’s boxers.

  She waited on the patio deck, leaning against the wood railing. The half-moon illuminated the calm water of the Banana River while Jessica remembered the kiss and his secret smile. Lost in her daydream, she mustn’t have heard his car, because the first sound to steal her attention was his voice from the side yard, steps away from the entrance to her patio.

  “You didn’t take that dress off, did you?”

  She didn’t turn, but kept her attention toward the moon. “I wanted to take a bath.”

  He hopped the railing and approached her from behind, leaning against her, trapping her with a hand on either side. “Too bad. I’m devastated.” The breath of his whisper touched her cheek.

  “Why?”

  She felt him lift her hair and place a hot kiss on her neck, sending goose bumps dancing down her back.

  “Because you’ve denied me the singular pleasure of figuring out how to take it off you.” He moved his kisses down to her shoulders. “Now you’ve left me with nothing but…” He caressed the other shoulder. “…this ordinary little tee shirt, which poses no challenge at all.”

  His hands circled her waist, his fingertips almost touching each other. Slowly, he grazed her stomach and moved lazily up to her breasts. She heard his intake of breath as he realized she had nothing on underneath. His fingers brushed her nipples, hardening them, his teeth and mouth pressuring her neck.