Secret Admirer

by Cynthia Eden

  A muscle flexed in his jaw. “You haven’t been with anyone since the Secret Admirer?”

  She flinched. Alice couldn’t help it. She tried to think of him as Hugh. If she thought of him as just Hugh, then she could almost pretend the Secret Admirer had been someone different. A monster she hadn’t met. A monster—

  I didn’t have in my bed.

  But lying wasn’t going to help her. “I haven’t been with anyone since the Secret Admirer.” There. She’d said it. Chill bumps rose on her body. “So, um, if I was…um…” God. Her cheeks were burning. “If things weren’t good enough—” She started to slip from the bed.

  But Zander yanked her back. He tumbled her onto the mattress and leaned over her, staring down at her with glittering eyes. “The sex was more than good enough. It was fucking mind blowing.”

  Wait—it had been? Her lips curled. “I…thought so, too.”

  “You are good enough. Never doubt that, Alice. Never. Do you hear me?”

  She swallowed. “I hear you.” His voice had been nearly booming. It would have been hard not to hear him.

  Zander pressed a hard kiss to her lips. “Glad we got that cleared up.” Then his head lifted, and he stared at her as if he were trying to figure out some puzzle. “Why in the hell did you pick me?”

  “Pick you?”

  “To have sex with, baby. You’re fucking gorgeous. I’m sure there have been guys fighting to be with you.” He caged her with his body.

  She caught her lower lip between her teeth as she thought this through. Oh, hell, why hesitate? Just be honest. “After the news broke, there were plenty of men who were interested in me. Turns out, there’s a whole group of guys out there who are fascinated by killers. And getting to fuck the ex-fiancée of the Secret Admirer?” She had to swallow twice in order to get the lump out of her throat. “Well, that to-do item was suddenly on the minds of those men.”

  He swore.

  “Yes, exactly.” She eased out a breath. “You know how there are those women who want to have sex with killers? The ones who want to marry them? There are plenty of men who want that same, dangerous thrill. They thought that by being close to me, they’d get that rush.”

  “You told them all to fuck off.” His gaze blazed.

  “I absolutely did. Some didn’t take the news too easily.”

  A line appeared between his brows. “What happened?” An angry growl.

  “A few break-ins at my place. Some underwear was stolen. Things that creeped me the hell out.” Her tongue swiped over her lower lip. “All signs that told me I needed to get out of that town and start over some place new.”

  His fingers brushed over her cheek in a tender caress. “You still didn’t say why you chose me.”

  “There were some other guys who didn’t seem like total freaks.” Not that she had good radar for determining that, obviously, seeing as how she’d almost married a serial killer but… “I wasn’t exactly looking to join the dating game at that time.”

  “And you are now?”

  “I honestly have no idea what I’m looking for right now. I just know…” She couldn’t seem to find the right words to make him understand. “You were different. You are different. You’ve been there every time I needed you. And you…you didn’t give up on me.”

  He pressed another kiss to her lips. “I won’t ever give up.”

  She didn’t feel cold. No chills. His words had warmth spreading through her.

  “I’m going to make you breakfast.” Another kiss from him. This one was slower, though. More sensual. “I think I’ve got some cinnamon rolls in there. Should be perfect for your sweet tooth.”

  She gave a little laugh. It was crazy. She was in bed with a lover, laughing, acting so normal. This was what she’d been missing for the last year. No, Zander is what I’ve been missing.

  He slid from the bed, giving her a stellar view of his tight ass. She whistled, and he glanced back, smiling at her.

  The man had a killer smile.

  ***

  As soon as he left the bedroom, Zander’s smile vanished. He’d palmed his phone before he exited the room, and he glanced down, seeing the line of missed texts. All from Randall. Shit. Zander called his partner and put the phone to his ear as he hurried into the kitchen. Randall answered on the second ring. “What the hell, man?” Zander demanded before Randall could even say hello. “Seven missed texts?”

  “Glad you’re still alive,” Randall snapped.

  Zander fired a quick look over his shoulder. “Don’t start this shit with me. I kept her in the house, just like you ordered.”

  “And did you keep your hands off her?”

  He pitched his voice low as he snarled, “The profilers have been wrong about her. She’s not like you think. Not like they think.”

  “Dammit. You fucked her.”

  “Randall, you don’t understand her. Alice isn’t cold and calculating. She’s—”

  “You’re talking like a blind, lovesick fool, Z.”

  “I’m not blind. I’m telling you—she’s not like you think.” She hadn’t even been with a lover since Hugh. Not until me. She was scared and shy, and when she looked at him—fuck, he felt like a bastard.

  “Have you considered that maybe she’s just a good liar?”

  Yeah, he had considered that shit. Especially since Zander happened to be a good liar, himself.

  “Question her. If you fucked her, shit, at least use that to our advantage. If she’s seems to trust you, grill her. This is your chance.” Randall hung up.

  Sonofabitch.

  Zander slammed the phone down on the kitchen table. He’d always wanted to be an FBI agent. Wanted to make a difference. But right then, he damn well hated the job.

  Chapter Five

  Alice’s tongue swiped over her lower lip as she licked away a trace of cinnamon icing. Zander’s whole body tensed, and he tried not to think about all of the things he wanted her to do with her sexy little tongue.

  “Breakfast was delicious. Thank you. No one has made breakfast for me in a very long time.” She flashed him a wide smile. He loved her smiles. She’d smiled a lot that morning, and every time her lips curled, his chest seemed to ache. “But, um,” Alice glanced at the clock, “I think I’d better be going home. I need to make sure there wasn’t any damage from the storm.”

  “I’ll walk you over.”

  Her smile stretched a little more. Her eyes seemed to gleam. “Thank you.”

  Hell. She was looking at him like he was some kind of white knight. She didn’t realize he was the lying asshole who’d been sabotaging her life. She helped him clean up in the kitchen, and a few moments later, they were walking through the woods. The air was crisp, a little cool, but the sky was a bright blue overhead.

  He took her hand and threaded his fingers with hers. Her hand was so much smaller than his, but it oddly seemed to fit perfectly against his.

  “The calm after the storm,” Alice murmured as she glanced up the sky. “Always my favorite part.”

  He kept pace with her, moving slowly, and then… “Mind if I ask you a question?”

  “Go ahead.” Another smile from her. But the gleam in her eyes had dimmed.

  “You really didn’t know? I mean, about your ex. You didn’t know the guy was—”

  She stopped walking. The sunlight fell down on her. “I didn’t know Hugh was a killer. I had no idea that the man in my bed, the man I was going to marry, had been torturing and murdering women.” Now her smile was gone. “If I’d known, I would have stopped him. I would have gone to the police. I would have tried to help those victims.” Her chin lifted. “He’d just killed the last one the night before, did you know that? If I’d just realized what was happening…I could have saved her. Her dead body was—” But she broke off, shaking her head.

  She’d turned pale in the sunlight. He was a total bastard, and he pushed her as he said, “Photos were found at your place.”

  Alice took a step back. She pulled
her hand from his. “I didn’t know they were there. Hugh must have hidden them under the floor. I…I went to a shrink once. I was so scared, all the time, and he told me—the shrink said Hugh had probably put them there because he wanted to relive his crimes. He liked having the photos close to me. Since I looked so much like the victims, Hugh could think about the crime photos, he could think about me and—”

  Fucking sonofabitch. A tear had just slid down her cheek. “Stop.” Zander knew this theory. It had been floated around at the FBI office, too.

  Victim or killer. The eternal debate when it came to Alice May.

  Her breath came a little too fast.

  “Why’d you only go see the shrink once?” A softer question, and he watched her carefully.

  “Because by the end of the session, I realized he was talking more about Hugh than me. Everything came back to Hugh. The shrink—I swear, he was obsessed with killers. He thought there was something about me that had drawn Hugh and I together. That I was just as twisted inside.”

  Zander swore. “He told you that shit?”

  “No, he used much nicer words. But he really was looking forward to, um, I think he said, ‘unraveling the darkness of my mind’ during our sessions.” She shook her head. “Baring my soul to strangers isn’t high on my to-do list. Just talking about this to you is kind of taking all the courage that I have.”

  His eyes widened. “Then why are you telling me?”

  “Because I think you matter. And I don’t want to screw this up by keeping secrets.” She squared her delicate shoulders. “I didn’t know. I never participated in anything he did. And if I could go back, I’d stop the Secret Admirer.”

  He believed her. Randall would say he was being a blind bastard, that Zander had nothing to go on but instinct. An instinct that was screwed because Zander was letting lust get in his way. He—

  Alice was walking again. He fell into step beside her.

  “You’ll have to tell me your secrets, too,” Alice murmured.

  Now he was the one to stiffen. Baby, you’ll hate my secrets.

  “Sooner or later,” she added.

  Later. Much fucking later. That would be the best plan. Because when Alice found out all the lies he’d told to her, she’d shut him out. As fast as she could.

  And Zander didn’t want to be shut out of Alice’s life.

  All too soon, they were back at her cabin. The place looked quiet, and the windows gleamed in the morning light. He walked Alice to the front door, and she turned toward him. “I’m sorry I crashed your place in the middle of a rainstorm.”

  His lips quirked. “Don’t be.” His hand cupped her cheek. “Come crash with me anytime.”

  Her gaze searched his. “You…you are a good person, right, Zander? I’m not going to find out that you’ve got some whole other life I don’t know anything about?”

  Hell. Could the knife twist in his gut any deeper? Careful with his words, he told her, “I don’t break the law, baby. I haven’t done anything that would ever get me arrested, but I’m not some angel.”

  “I don’t think anyone is. I just need you to really, really not be the devil.”

  Because she’d almost married that particular bastard.

  “I’m not the devil.” He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Dinner tonight?”

  She gave him the gift of her smile. “I’d like that.”

  “My place,” he added. “I get to cook this time.”

  She kissed him, and her hands pressed lightly to his shirt-front. He swore he could feel her touch burn right through to his skin. His overeager dick thrust toward her, but Zander held tight to his control. He had to check in with the other agents, and those guys probably had eyes on him and Alice right then. He wasn’t about to give them a fucking show.

  “Six o’clock,” he said against her sweet lips. “I’ll see you then.”

  Alice pulled away. She took the keys out of her pocket, and a few moments later, she’d opened the door. Alice glanced back at him. She smiled at him once more, right before she shut the door.

  He stood there a moment, her smile locked in his mind. The woman had a gorgeous smile. Everything about her was sexy as hell, and if he could just prove to the others that she wasn’t guilty, then—

  A scream seemed to echo in the air. Her scream. A scream that came from inside the cabin. Not hesitating, Zander immediately kicked in the front door. It flew back, slamming into the wall. But he was already racing inside. Another scream echoed, one filled with shock and fear, and he bounded up the stairs as he followed that sound. He turned to the right, toward her bedroom. “Alice!”

  She whirled toward him. Her eyes were huge. Stark. Her body trembled.

  His gaze swept over her. No injury. Thank Christ. But then his stare took in the room around her. The bedding that had been slashed. The clothes that were tossed around the room. Clothes that were also in ribbons. As if someone had taken a knife to them. Cut them. Destroyed them.

  Drawers were thrown against the wall. Her dresser mirror had been smashed. Books were ripped apart. Absolute destruction.

  Alice bent to pick up a shredded gown. “Who did this?”

  He grabbed her hand. “Don’t touch it.” His voice was low and lethal.

  “Zander?”

  “Don’t touch a damn thing. Not until I get a team in here.”

  “What?”

  But he was already pulling her out of the room, nearly dragging her with him down the stairs. As far as he knew, the perp could still be in the house. His priority was getting her to safety. When she was safe, he’d get the house secured. His team could come in. They’d search for prints. They’d find out what in the hell had happened.

  He reached the landing. She dug in her heels. “Zander, stop! I’m not leaving this house! I’m going back upstairs, and I’m going to—”

  No damn way. He just scooped her up and put her over his shoulder.

  “What in the hell are you doing?”

  The front door was still open. He rushed through it and hurried toward the cover of the trees. He didn’t want to present a target to anyone who might be watching. As soon as they were clear, he lowered her to the ground.

  “Are you crazy?” She tried to lunge away.

  He just pulled her right back against him. And he yanked out his phone. Luckily, he had a fucking signal. He called Randall, and his partner answered on the first ring. “Move the team in, now,” Zander barked. “Someone was in her place last night. Her bedroom has been trashed.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve got her. We’re outside, and she’s secure. Get the agents moving. Hurry the hell up!”

  “On the damn way.”

  Zander shoved the phone back into his pocket.

  Silence.

  Shit. Shit.

  His gaze lifted. Alice was staring straight at him. She wasn’t fighting to get away from him any longer. Her body was statue-still. “What men?”

  He squared his shoulders. “FBI agents.”

  They would be there in moments.

  “We can’t touch the house,” Zander added, making his voice flat with an effort, “not until they get here. We’ll need to get a crime scene team inside. If the perp left prints—”

  “You’re not…not a handyman, are you?” Her eyes had never seemed bigger or deeper.

  “I’m damn handy. You’ve seen for yourself just what I can—”

  “Don’t.” She swallowed. “Who in the hell are you?”

  He could hear the thunder of footsteps already. His team was sweeping in. “My name is Zander Todd. Just like I told you.” He hadn’t lied about his name. But as for the rest… “And I’m FBI.”

  ***

  They hadn’t let her go back in her home. As soon as the FBI agents had swarmed, she’d been escorted to a black SUV. She’d been told to get inside, and then some other agent—Randall something—had driven her to town. To the sheriff’s office. They’d put her in a small, tight room, and
she’d been sitting there ever since.

  It’s just like the day of my wedding. I was taken away. Locked in a room. And I waited and waited.

  Then my whole world fell apart.

  A cold cup of coffee waited in front of her. Her reflection stared back at her from the one-way mirror on the nearby wall. A clock ticked far too loudly, counting off the seconds at an excruciating pace.

  Then…the door opened.

  Her gaze immediately flew toward the door as she stiffened. She expected to see Zander standing there. Instead, she stared at a man with warm, mocha skin and hard, suspicious eyes. The agent she’d met before. Randall. Randall—what had been his last name? Her world had pretty much been spinning out of control when he’d introduced himself before.

  When he’d introduced himself and then shoved her into the back of an SUV.

  She struggled to pull up his name and—Cane. It had been Randall Cane.

  “Thanks for waiting, Ms. May,” he murmured, the faint hint of a Boston accent sliding through his words. “I have a few questions for you.” He stalked toward the small table. Took the seat across from her.

  She blinked at him. “I have a few questions for you, too.” Her gaze darted to the one-way mirror. “Where is Zander?”

  “Agent Todd is tying up a few loose ends. He’ll be in soon enough.”

  Agent Todd. Goosebumps rose on her arms.

  “What time did you leave your house last night?”

  “I…midnight. Right after midnight. Like, twelve-oh-three.”

  He jotted down some notes and peered up at her. “That’s very specific.”

  Why play games? He might like doing that. Agent Todd might enjoy games. But she didn’t. “Today is kind of a special anniversary.” Understatement of the century. “I was dreading this day, okay? So I was watching my clock as the time passed.”

  “And at twelve-oh-three, you decided to leave your house, even though the weather was shit, and head to visit Agent Todd.”

  “I didn’t know he was an agent.” She stared straight ahead and ignored the chill that snaked around her whole body. “But, yes, I decided to go visit him then.”