by Kara Hart
“You’re wet,” he says. “Just like I asked.”
“That’s all you,” I whisper back.
I open my eyes briefly and see his huge cock hovering over my wetness. He sees me looking and shakes his head. “I said no peeking,” he says.
“I like to look at it. I like to see it disappear inside of me,” I say.
“You’re dirty,” he says. “I love it.”
He presses the tip against my clit. He lowers his head back down and we kiss for longer than expected. His tongue moves against mine. He pulls back, but I keep my mouth open. I lower my tongue out for him and he licks it. Our lips close against one another, once again.
He thrusts, moving his cock against the top of my pussy. He’s teasing me to no end, building this whole thing up. Of course, I love it endlessly. I can’t get enough of it. When I see it, it looks thicker than normal, like he’s been waiting for me all day. “Put it inside me,” I beg and reach down for it.
He grabs my hand and pushes it back over my head. He keeps it there, steady as we breathe with passion and dark lust. All it takes is one solid thrust for him to find his way inside. He moves slowly, giving me some warning, but once he’s in, he gives it to me hard and deep.
I watch as his hips push back, muscles protruding around his ass. He thrusts again with power. His groans echo the same results. Every inch of him sinks in and I watch as his pelvis presses against me. All the way, deep, his balls smack against my ass. He grabs my legs and forces them together. He kisses my thighs and moans loudly.
“Do what you want to me,” I say.
“I am,” he quips back.
“Fuck,” I groan to myself. He moves faster, as the bed squeaks loudly. “Fuck, fuck fuck!” I yell to his rhythm. I arch my back up. He picks me up with one palm, holding me close as hell to him. I push my cheek against his muscular chest. I bite his tight skin. He fucks me harder and then throws me back down onto the mattress.
He flips me over without a word. I lay on my stomach as he jumps on my back. “You’re a beast,” I tell him.
“I know,” he says. “I’ve been waiting for this all fucking day. You have no idea.”
“I’m yours,” I whisper. But he knows that.
I feel his cock slip deep inside me. His fingers press against the dent in my lower back. He holds on for good measure, thrusting wildly. With each deep push, I can feel his balls hit the top of my pussy. Sometimes they brush against my thigh. I grow more and more turned on by the sound, by the feel, and by his unfaltering strength. He’d give me everything in the world if he could. Why? Because I give him everything he’s dreamed of. Because I’m new. Because I’ve only been his.
I start to shake when he pulls my hair back. The tight pulsating feeling enters between my legs. I can’t stand it and yet, I urge it to come further. I grow wetter and wetter, and I can hear it. So can he. “Yeah, baby,” he whispers. “Do it.”
I scream loud, as if I’ve been attacked. My orgasm shoots into my body and it’s almost painful on its first arrival. I shake away from him, yet he doesn’t let me escape. I’m in his hold until he releases me. My body keeps writhing, as pleasure drips into every tender part of my body. He keeps thrusting into me, never letting up.
As my orgasm dies down, he starts growing louder. I smile and turn my head so I can see him. He grabs the side of my head and pushes down. “Yes!” I scream. “Be rough with me.” He moans, cock thickening. His head lurches back and with all the intensity of the world, he pulls out from me.
He holds his cock proudly in his hand, pulling back on it. A huge load of warm cum shoots out. It comes in streams, almost never ending. It drenches my back, it covers my ass, and during the last shot, I spin around and catch it in my mouth. He shakes like a rattlesnake, unable to bear the pleasure of having my tongue curled around his aching cock. Now he’s mine.
When it’s all over, he can barely stand, let alone keep his eyes open. “I love you,” he says. “I love you more than anything in the world.”
“Stop it,” I laugh. “You just like that I make you cum so much.”
“No.” He heaves in air. “Well, I do like that part, but that’s not why I’m saying it. I’m saying it because I do love you. Shit. I guess I shouldn’t be saying any of this. Maybe it’s not the time. I just thought—”
“What do you want from me?” I ask him. “Honestly. A girl likes to be told these things sometimes, but it might be good to tell me your intentions. Because right now, I have no idea whether or not this is just fun or if you want something long-lasting.”
“You met my family the other night. What more do you need to know?” he says. The answer annoys me. Obviously I met his family. I’ve met other boys’ families before. The next month I never heard from them again. This shit happens to women all of the time.
“You’re stupid,” I sigh and fall against the pillow.
“Come on.” He falls back with me and tries to hold me. I push him away.
“Guys do this. They get emotional. In the end, they know they can’t commit as much as they thought. I’ve told you all of this before,” I say. “You’re a lot older than me. You could easily dip out of this without any moment’s notice. I’m just confused, okay?”
“Well, don’t be confused,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere. Are you?”
“I don’t know. I just got done with school, James. Am I supposed to just stay here for you?” I ask him.
“I don’t know,” he says. “I thought you didn’t have much of a plan.”
“Big deal,” I say. “I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the idea of being able to go anywhere I want. Maybe I want to go to Tokyo for a year, or move to Wyoming.”
“Wyoming?” he scoffs. “Seriously?”
“You don’t know. Maybe I want to work on a ranch for a couple of months, or something.”
“If you want to work on a ranch for a couple of months,” he laughs, “go ahead and do it. I’m not stopping you. If you want to go to Tokyo to eat Ramen and Sushi for a year, you can do that. I have my obligations here, but I would sacrifice my sanity as long as that meant you coming back to me.”
“I don’t know what it means. The future is always uncertain,” I say. “And your dad keeps talking about marriage and stuff… I don’t know what I can handle right now. I just entered a new phase of my life.”
“If you love me, just say it,” he says. “That’s all I need right now.”
But I ignore his request. There’s something else that needs further examination. “Why does your dad keep talking about marriage. What’s up with that?”
He sighs and looks away. “It’s nothing,” he says.
“Bullshit!” I yell. “Look at me. What’s going on, James?”
He looks at me with guilt in his eyes. “My dad gave me a proposition,” he says.
“What kind of proposition?” I ask. I want to lunge at him. I want to push him away from me. But I have to hear the words come from his stupid mouth.
“He said if I get married, I get the family house. It’ll be written in the will,” he says.
“You bastard,” I whisper.
“You don’t understand,” he says, rushing his words out. “My mom is dying. The house is a part of her. I can’t lose it.”
“You’re sick!” I scream.
“Olivia, I really love—”
I push him away, finally. I jump out of the bed. “You thought if you tricked me into giving you my virginity, tricked me into loving you, and caring about you, that you could trick me into marrying you, all for a stupid house? Do you not see how fucked up this is?”
“It’s not like that, Olivia,” he says. “I really love you. I mean, I fell deeply in love with you. You’re my light. It doesn’t matter what my father wants. It’s what we want.”
“Oh God, I’m going to be sick,” I say. My stomach lurches. I balance myself against the wall and take a deep breath. “Kill two birds with one stone, right? That’s your thinking?”<
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He shrugs. “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t feel like this is real,” he says.
“Leave,” I say. “Please just get out.”
“Olivia…”
“Leave!”
He puts his hands up in the air and grabs his things. He slides his pants over his naked body. I fall to the floor and press my eyes against my kneecaps. I hear him walk to the door. “I’ll call you, okay?” he asks.
“Please don’t,” I say. “Please, just never contact me again.”
And just like that, the man I was falling for walks out of my life.
James
What the fuck is wrong with me?
It’s hard not to keep repeating that question in my head, over and over again. What is wrong with my family? Who am I? Am I the same monster she thinks I am? I shouldn’t have told her the truth. No. The truth must always be said. I shouldn’t have entertained my dad’s proposal. Now, I’m without the woman I fell in love with. Now, I feel empty and completely incomplete.
I was a man, no doubt. But without her, I’m just the shell of a man, a walking imbecile. She was what made me whole. She gave me real purpose. I have no idea what to do.
I keep trying to call her, but there’s no answer. Days go by without one word uttered between us. My heart is nonexistent. I don’t deserve a heart. No, I truly deserve nothing. I dug my own grave on this one. Now it’s time to accept the consequences. Man up and move on.
A week passes by and I still haven’t recovered. When my phone goes off, I pay no mind to it. I go about my work day as best as I can and keep on my solitary path. It’s only when I take off my clothes to jump into the shower when I see her name on my screen. Olivia. Fuck me.
I quickly open it with enough veracity to destroy anything in my way. I search its contents, as if the words I’m reading don’t make sense. My heart is beating against my sternum. “I’ll do it. But I’ve got conditions,” she says.
“Fuck,” I mutter. “No way.”
“I’d rather be with you than submit to my father’s request,” I tell her.
“I don’t give a flying fuck. I don’t love you anymore. It’s either this or nothing,” she says. Harsh, but I understand her anger.
I pace around my bathroom and search for an answer. “Fine,” I reply. “What are the conditions?”
“No marriage contract. I’m not your property and never will be. If your father gives you that house, I own half of it. You’ll sign over half the equity. Do we have a deal?”
I sigh and let my back hit the bathroom wall. “Fuck it,” I tell myself. “What do I really have to lose? At least she’ll sort of be in my life still.”
“We have a deal,” I text her. “When’s the wedding?”
“How fast can we get it set up?” she asks. “You’re buying the dress, by the way.”
“We can go to a court house this Sunday if you want. I can tell my father we wanted it to be a private ceremony. Jenna and he can attend. Is that okay?” I ask her.
“Whatever,” she texts back. “I guess I’ll see you Sunday. I’ll pick out the dress and you’ll reimburse me.”
“Fine.” I throw my phone against the door and press my palms against my face. Fuck. How did I let this happen? How did this turn into a game of chess? She has all the power. There used to be equality in all of this. What’s the fucking point?
The point is I’m not giving up. This might be a fake marriage for a bullshit house of memories, but that doesn’t mean I can’t convince her to be with me. She’s mad at me now, but I can prove to her that I will do anything for her. I will go out of my way to protect her, to devote my life to her. She’ll know that my love was something different.
I walk back over to my phone. Luckily, it’s not broken. I call up a familiar number and press send. “Dad? Guess what? I’m getting married.”
Olivia
“I’m getting married,” I tell Josie. “To the doctor.”
“What. The. Fuck,” she says. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Yes and no. It’s not real. I’m going to get it annulled immediately. I found out that he was going to propose to me in order to get in his daddy’s will, so I dumped his ass,” I tell her. “Then, I got to thinking. Maybe I should get half of what he gets.”
“You’re dropping way too much on me, way too fast. Wait, you’re telling me that he proposed to you in order to get into his dad’s will? Um, Olivia, that’s fucked,” she says.
“Yeah, I know. I’m done with him, okay? I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, really,” I say.
“…and you’re marrying—sorry, fake marrying him—in order to get half of what he gets?”
“It’s his childhood home or something,” I shrug. “And yeah, why shouldn’t I? He took my virginity. He broke my heart.” I try to hold back from crying, successfully, but my chest hurts and Josie knows it.
“Something tells me you’re not over him,” she says.
“I am definitely over him, you ass,” I say. I try to force out a fake smile, but fail miserably.
“Yet, you’re going in on some weird deal with him. A deal that binds you to him for the rest of your life,” she says.
“It’s just a house,” I say.
“Right,” she looks off to the right of her.
“Well, I’m doing it,” I say. “You can’t stop me.”
“Go ahead. It’s your life. I just think it’s kind of weird. Like, you seem pretty distraught. Maybe you should think this through?” She bites her lip and refrains from making eye contact with me.
Is she right? Of course she’s right. I’m hurt, so fucking hurt. The truth is I loved him. Part of me still does. But what he did disgusts me. Was he planning on staying with me just to get this house? It’s nearly impossible for me to trust him when he tells me he loves me, when he holds me close at night and tells me I’m his light. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that? I feel so betrayed.
“I’m fine. I know what I’m doing,” I tell her. But when the silence gets too awkward between us, I know that I’m being crazy about all of this. Still, I don’t want to stop. Part of me wants to remain close to James to see if he really is the guy of my dreams. Even after all of this, I find myself being pulled to him.
When I leave her house, I drive back to mine. I dive into bed and move my eyes toward my closet. Inside is a shining, white dress that I picked out yesterday. It fits almost perfectly. It just needs a few adjustments.
When I was a little girl, I stayed up at night thinking about what my wedding day might actually be like. I had so many ideas. Tears come pouring down my face when I realize what it’s really going to be. A sham. A disgrace. I can’t tell my parents about this. I shouldn’t tell anyone about this.
I wipe those tears off my face and walk over to the dress. I pick it out from the hanger. It’s so perfect too. A single tear falls to the floor. James. What a fucking con. I let it fall to the floor.
The door knocks and I just know it’s him. I walk over to the door and take a huge breath in. I feel like I’m about to pass out, like none of this is real. I feel absolutely insane. So when I answer with tears dripping down my cheeks, I hope he feels like shit. Whatever he’s about to say can’t take away the pain of being used like this.
“Honey,” an older voice says. I look up and my parents are staring back at me. Fuck. No. How?
I scramble back and nearly fall over in my apartment. “Mom? Dad?” I whisper in disbelief. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here right now.”
“I think you know why we’re here,” my dad says.
“James. Did he…?” I ask, on the verge of flipping the fuck out.
“It’s okay. Josie told us the whole thing,” my mom says. She puts both her healing hands around my arms as I nearly fade into the wallpaper.
“Just let me go, Mom,” I whisper. “Please. Just…”
“What do you want me to do? You want me to fight this son of a bitch? I’ll kick his ass if I have to,�
�� my dad says.
“Scott!”” my mom yells. “Cool it. Let her breathe.”
“I just want you to leave me alone. Both of you. Just go!” I shout.
“No,” my mom says. “We will not go. We came here to help you, baby. We don’t want you marrying someone out of the blue and we sure as heck don’t want you to do that with someone you don’t love.”
The anger rages inside of me. Every emotion inside my body yanks at my heart strings. I don’t know which way to turn. All I know how to do is lash out. “I do love him,” I say. “And I’m figuring my life out just fine. Now, we’re getting married on Sunday. It’s not your decision.”
My dad just shakes his head. “I’m going to find this guy,” he says. “And when I do, he’s done.”
“Good luck,” I say, knowing Josie wouldn’t ever betray that much information. I sigh and take another deep breath. “Look, can you just let me be by myself for a while? I promise to think things through… just let me figure this out.”
Again, my dad throws his hands in the air and gives up. “Deb, there’s nothing we can do. She’s in a trance,” he says. But he doesn’t know how he’s made me feel. He doesn’t remember this kind of love. He’s bathed in the spoils of his own marriage for so long.
My mom nearly sobs. “Please, Olivia. Just don’t make a decision without us. We’re your parents.”
“I know, Mom,” I say, heartbroken.
The lashing out has gotten me nowhere. As they leave my place, I break down.
I want to believe James is a good guy. That’s all. But I want him to confront this and realize why this is a complete betrayal of my trust. Most women would walk away, right then and there. But I’ve seen who James is. I’ve experienced what he can give to someone. It’s more than most men ever could. And if somehow, he can make it up to me, maybe it’s worth it.
It’s not the best logic I’ve had. After all, I’ve just betrayed my parents. I’ve let down my best friend. Everyone around me thinks I’m losing my mind, most likely. Maybe I am, but I still don’t know where this will end up.
