by Shauna Allen
Her eyes raked over my uniform. “Good morning, Marine.” She did love me in my BDUs.
I grabbed my own breakfast. “You ready for today?”
“Super ready.”
We eyed each other like kids across the table.
“You really don’t care if it’s a boy or girl?” she asked.
“I really don’t. Do you?”
“No. I just want a healthy baby.”
“Exactly.” I smiled at her. “So, finish your bowl of milk so we can get out of here.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” She gave me a horrible salute, which I ignored.
An hour later, we were at the doctor’s office, but in a different room with the lights down with an ultrasound technician. She swirled a wand in blue goo all over Carissa’s belly and created black and white fuzzy images on a huge screen, taking measurements and freezing frames of things I had no idea what they were.
Eventually, things started to become clear. Legs, feet, fingers, a visibly beating heart.
A head.
A face.
“Look at that nose!” Carissa exclaimed. “Oh, my God.” She caught my eyes, and we shared a moment of awe.
More pictures and measurements. “You’re getting everything you need?” I asked. “The doctor needs good measurements to make sure the baby is okay.”
The technician glanced at me knowingly. “Your baby is very photogenic this morning. The doctor should get everything she needs.”
I nodded, my eyes glued back to the screen and that continually beating heart.
Finally, the tech turned to us. “Would you like to know what you’re having?”
“You saw that?” I blurted, sure it was a mystery in all that gray static.
She grinned. “I did.”
I looked to Carissa. She nodded.
I nodded, too. “We would.”
The tech moved the wand around a bit more until she found what she was after and froze the screen. “There we are.” She glanced over. “Congratulations, Mommy and Daddy. You have a daughter.”
I had no idea what I was looking at, but I took her word for it. Tears sprung to my eyes before I could stop them, and when I glanced down at Carissa, they began to fall down my cheeks. She reached up and traced one with her thumb. “You’re crying,” she whispered.
“No, I’m not,” I whispered back, making her smile as tears filled her own eyes.
The tech finished up quietly, giving us our space.
When we were alone, Carissa climbed off the table and right into my arms, clinging to my neck as we shared a moment.
A little girl.
Wow.
“I know,” she said against my neck, making me realize I’d said that out loud.
I drew back and ran my fingers through her thick, red curls. “God, I hope she’s as beautiful as you.”
“She’s got a pretty beautiful father, too, you know,” she said with a playful tug to my lapel.
I smiled at that and pecked a kiss to her lips. “Let’s go. You need to get to work and so do I. I hear the team is betting on boy or girl.”
“Really?” This seemed to make her happy.
“Yeah, and I also heard that most of them bet boy.”
Her smile grew. “Well, the lucky few will be winning big then, won’t they?”
“It would seem so.” I grabbed her hand and led her outside.
We were quiet as we drove, each lost in our own thoughts. I dropped her off at work, but before she could jump out of the truck, I grabbed her wrist.
She spun to look at me. “Wha—?”
I yanked her toward me and slammed my mouth to hers, unloading all my pent-up emotion into my kiss. I slid my tongue to tangle with hers, tilting my head to deepen the kiss, swallowing her moan of surprise and desire. The air heated quickly as her fingers found their way into my hair.
She whispered my name as she drew away, her breath heaving across my lips.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
“For what?” Dark, lusty eyes lifted to mine.
“For my daughter. For everything.”
“You’re too much.” She pressed another lingering kiss to my lips then backed away. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yes, you will.”
I watched her walk inside then made my way to base with a stupid grin on my face.
I strolled into HQ to find both teams crowded into the conference room, expectant expressions on their faces.
“Well?” Tito said, arms folded across his chest.
“Yeah, man,” Bubba added. “Did I win me some money?”
I shook my head with a smile. “I wanna see the bets first. Make sure no one cheats.”
Tito spun the white board. It was a nine-three split in favor of a boy. Only Tex, Tito, and Benny bet girl.
“How much is in the pot?” I asked, brow lifted.
“We each put in twenty bucks, so two forty,” Dude said, rubbing his hands together.
I nodded, pretending to think it over. “So . . . if it’s a boy, that’s a little over twenty-five bucks back. Not much of a win.”
Benny reclined back, supremely confident. “Yeah, but if it’s a girl . . .”
I winked. “It is.”
“I knew it!” Tex crowed. “That’s eighty big ones!”
Tito congratulated me while Wolf doled out the cash and a few guys grumbled good-naturedly about making a bad bet.
After all bets were settled and congrats given, we settled down to business. Tex had been messaging Brianne intermittently, though the cartel was still on the move out of Honduras. She thought they were heading north, but they hadn’t been stationary in one place long enough to give us a good location to ping or to move in on them yet. Until then, our commanding officers were having us stand down on any ops because there were just too many variables and unknowns and not enough good intel. They did assure us that the moment we had a solid lead on either Esteban or Shadeek, we would have the green light to move to eliminate the threat, and we were to continue to monitor any intel related to arms and potential threats to U.S. embassies.
“Are you sure she’s not just leading us on a wild goose chase?” Red grumbled.
“No, I’m not sure,” Tex said. “But she’s the best lead we’ve got, and so far, the little bit she’s given us has been on the up and up. She did help us lead the Canadian special forces to Mahiir.”
I frowned. “I didn’t know that.”
“It was kept pretty quiet,” Tito explained. “We had to act fast once we had the intel. He was about to flee the country, so we called them, and they stepped in and intercepted him for us.”
“So, what now?” Maverick asked. “We just sit around and wait for them to make a move or Brianne to feel chatty? Do we get another mission in the meantime?”
Cookie, Dude, and Red nodded their agreement.
“We continue to train and be ready for whatever we’re called to do,” Wolf said, his expression brokering no bullshit. “Same as always.”
Tito raised his brow in agreement, eyeballing his own team.
We discussed a few more details then moved on to some PT and weapons training before we called it a day and spread out for home.
I texted Carissa. You still working?
Carissa: No. Off early. At the condo.
Me: You okay?
Carissa: Perfect.
I wasn’t sure what to make of that since she never took off early, but I decided to pick up some carry-out for dinner to celebrate our big day and go see what was up for myself.
I stepped inside the condo and made my way to the kitchen to put down the bags of Chinese food. “Carissa?”
It was all quiet except for the faint sound of music down the hall.
I followed the melody, stopping short when I found the bathroom door cracked, the radio playing soft rock, and Carissa in a bubble bath, her eyes closed, humming along to Foreigner.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Her hair was piled on top of he
r head, but dark-red, wet ringlets clung to her throat.
Her face was devoid of makeup and flushed from the heat of the water.
She was covered in bubbles, but bits of ivory flesh peeked out, teasing me.
The air smelled heavily of roses.
Those hauntingly dark eyes slowly slid open to meet my gaze. She didn’t move. Instead, she lifted one hand from the water and offered it to me, beckoning me to come closer.
I couldn’t resist her.
I padded in and knelt next to the tub.
She cupped my jaw with her wet hand. “Hey, handsome.”
“Hey, beautiful.” From this angle, I caught a glimpse of dusky pink nipple through the bubbly water. I lifted my gaze to hers again.
She reached for my hand, brought it right into the warm water, cupping it around her slippery flesh and perfect, full breast. They’d filled out since I last had my hands on her. But that wasn’t where I’d been aching to touch.
Slowly, tenderly, I slid my hand between her breasts, down to her stomach. I cupped her naked flesh, holding our daughter in my palm. “I love her already,” I whispered in the humid air. “How is that possible?”
“It’s natural,” she whispered back. “It’s being a father.” Her breath trembled in her chest as my hand moved lower on her belly, just above her pubic bone. My gaze lifted to hers again. My fingers slipped beneath the bubbles, touching her.
Her eyes fluttered closed. Her lips parted. Her legs opened as I coaxed them apart.
Her breathing became heavy as my touch became bolder. My words low and dirty.
“Cody.” The way she keened my name in a throaty voice was a plea.
I lifted her from the tub, letting her drip water in a rush all over me and the floor, and carried her right to my bed. She gazed up at me with lust-filled eyes as I stripped off my uniform. “You and me, baby,” I swore as I crawled up her body.
She simply nodded, spreading wide to make room for me.
I glanced down between us, making sure I wasn’t going to crush her or the baby.
“It’s fine,” she promised, urging me on. “Don’t stop. Please.” She bucked her hips toward me, seeking, pleading, begging.
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to pound into her the way I wanted to. Instead, I flipped us so she straddled my hips. She got the message and without wasting a moment, impaled herself on me, bringing a cry to both our lips. We were still for a long moment, breathing in the reunion of our bodies after so many months. We were so good together. So damn good. Too good to stop.
She began to move, riding me like she’d been born to do it.
I grabbed her hands and interlaced our fingers, supporting her as we rode together . . . reaching, until we surpassed heaven and found a perfection I’d never known existed.
I dozed off with Carissa in my arms and her baby bump pressed against my side. I had to admit it was my new favorite thing. Both my girls in my bed.
Something woke me from a dead sleep.
A premonition?
A nightmare?
I stared up at the ceiling, struggling for my bearings.
Then I heard my cell phone buzzing from my pants on the floor. With a reluctant sigh, I gently extracted myself from beneath her and rolled from the bed. I rifled through my clothes until I found my phone.
“Hello?” I whispered.
“Kid.” It was Tito.
“Yeah?”
“Pack your shit. We got a lead on Esteban.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Carissa, who was snuggled up on my pillow. “Where is he?”
“Mexico City. He’s there with Brianne, and she says there’s a plan to hit the embassy there in three days and Shadeek is actually in country, too. If we hurry we can stop it, eliminate both Esteban and Shadeek, and grab her. One stop shop, brother. Pack your gear and move your ass. We ship out at oh-four-hundred.”
I glanced at the clock. That gave me a little over an hour to get to base.
This was the mission I’d been dreaming of. What I trained for every single day. I should’ve been ecstatic to have this chance to take down not one, but two scumbags. I was.
Still, as I dressed and pressed a kiss to Carissa’s forehead and woke her up to explain, I couldn’t shake the uneasy sense that I did not want to leave her.
Carissa
The condo was eerily empty without Cody. I made it through two days alone, but I was beginning to feel desperate. I supposed this was the life I would have to get used to if we were going to be together. Still, I couldn’t help but worry about him, just as I had when he was away when I’d found out I was pregnant, only this time it was so much worse because I knew him so much better.
I cupped my stomach as I rolled to his side of the bed and inhaled his fading scent as I bit back the threat of tears. I was being foolish. He’d be back. He’d promised me he’d come home to me when he woke me up the morning he left with a sweet kiss and a quick explanation that he had to go on a mission, but that his friend, Tex, would still be in town and that he’d leave his contact information programmed on my phone for emergencies.
“Use it if you need it,” he’d urged me. “My team is my family, and now Tex’s team is, too. We look out for our own. I know you don’t believe me yet, baby, but you’re a part of that family now, and any one of those men would lay down their lives to protect you, no questions asked, and I’d do the same for them and their families. It’s how we roll.” He’d brushed my cheek with a soft finger. “Ease my mind and promise me you’ll call him or any of the other guys if you ever need something—anything—and I’m not here.”
I’d wanted to blow him off, but he seemed so incredibly serious that I just couldn’t. “Okay, Cody. I promise.”
This seemed to comfort him some, and he left me after another lingering kiss to my lips and another to my belly. “Bye, baby girl,” he whispered. “Daddy loves you.”
Now, in the light of another morning without him, I missed him so much I ached. I had no idea where he was, what he was doing on this mission, or when he’d be back. He couldn’t tell me, and I knew better than to ask for any details. Heck, I didn’t really want to know. It might make it harder. Thankfully, I had a job and plenty to do to get ready for the baby to keep me busy. Now that we knew it was a girl, I could start planning the nursery since we’d agreed on a simple pink and white room with touches of gray that would suit her as she grew up. I was debating between giraffes, owls, and flowers for the theme and thought maybe Rebekah and Scarlett could go shopping with me to help me decide.
Thump. Flutter . . .
I glanced down as Little Miss made her presence known in a big way with a large, dancing movement. I grinned broadly. “Which one do you like?” I asked out loud. “Giraffes?” Nothing. “Owls?” Nothing. “Flowers?”
Another flutter.
My smile grew. My daughter was apparently a girly girl, or at least I was going to think so. “Okay, missy. Flowers it is.” Daddy was just going to have to adjust, though I was beginning to think he would enjoy every bit of it.
I rolled from the bed to make my way to the shower, nearly tripping over Cody’s discarded uniform from the night we’d made love. I hadn’t had the heart to pick it up yet, leaving it right where he’d left it as if he were coming right back. But he wasn’t coming right back. I was being silly, and he’d need clean clothes. I scooped it up to toss it in the clothes hamper, but paused, hugging the pile to my chest and burying my nose into it to inhale him.
It hit me then, full force.
I loved him.
Truly, madly. I loved him.
One hundred percent, no question about it, heart and soul, I was all in with this man, no regrets.
With that thought to keep me company, I went about my morning shower, a bit in awe that I hadn’t realized the full truth of my feelings before.
I dressed and wondered if I should tell him when he got home. He probably already knew. He was a smart guy. Still, he deserved to hear it from my lips.<
br />
I studied my reflection in the mirror, pausing in the middle of putting on my makeup. “What if he doesn’t love you back?” I asked myself.
I knew he loved our baby, but could he ever love me? Could I ever be enough for a man like him?
Little Miss squiggled in my belly as if to reassure me. I looked down with a smile. “I hope you’re right, little girl.”
I padded out to the kitchen to grab some breakfast, remembering the morning after he left, a lovestruck grin spread over my lips like syrup. I’d cleaned up and put everything away after dinner the night before, but when I woke up, aching and lonely, knowing he wasn’t there, I’d found my favorite cereal bowl sitting neatly at his place at the table, along with a spoon and a box of cereal. When I’d walked over, I’d realized, he’d also left a sticky note.
Take care of both my girls while I’m gone.
Miss you already.
xoxo
P.S. Tex is only a phone call away if you need him.
P.P.S. Don’t forget you promised me.
Even now, I was a grinning fool when I finally made my way to work.
“What’s up with you?” Rebekah had asked, obviously puzzled.
I took in her red-rimmed eyes and sobered immediately. Both of our men were gone together, along with their team, on what was most likely a dangerous mission. “Nothing. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s nice to see a smile around here.” She glanced down at her engagement ring. “I know it’s his job, and I try to be the strong, supportive fiancée, but I hate these missions. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to his job.”
“I think I’m beginning to understand how you feel, and I’m just a girlfriend.”
She huffed out a laugh. “You’re a little bit more than a girlfriend, don’t you think?” She shot a pointed glance to my stomach.
“Maybe.” I laughed with her.
“I think Scarlett’s coming by later this week with the baby,” she offered, diverting to a happier topic. “He’s getting so big.”
“I’ll bet. When is she coming back to work?”
