Always

by Lauren Dane

  Dedication

  Ray—Always.

  Angie—Of course I thank you because you’re you and all.

  Tracy, Renee, Mary, the Vixenreaders—Thank you.

  And to all those men with lovely accents, thanks for the inspiration.

  Chapter One

  Ignoring the jostle of the crowd, Caitlin let the throbbing beat of the song slide up her spine as she sipped her drink. Amy had gone to the bathroom and God only knew how long it would be before she got back. Amy was ditzy at best and a flake at worst. Still, she’d been a good friend for several years and everyone had their flaws, heaven knew Caitlin did.

  School was out for winter break, finals were done, she’d turned in her big paper and she was out to celebrate. Every other day of the year, her life was about control and responsibility. Tonight was about play and damn it, she planned to do it.

  Basement Jaxx’s “Get Me Off” thumped through the sound system as the lights strobed. Heat from bodies in motion pulsed through the room. The scent of sweat, cologne, beer and sex hung like a heavy curtain.

  Caitlin tended to agree with the sentiment of the song. She’d like it if someone got her off, too. It’d been too long since she’d had sex with someone other than a hunk of expensive silicone.

  Fuck it. She drained her drink and put her glass on the bar behind her. She wanted to give in to the beat, to move with the crowd.

  She made her way to the dance floor, letting the bump of the bass line pull at her lower gut. Once she’d found a reasonably empty space she let go, let the music take her. Her spine loosened, her hips switched from side to side as her shoulders moved.

  Reaching up, she clipped her hair out of her face and rolled her head, relaxing. Her gaze fixed on the wide body of a man dancing just ahead of where she stood.

  He wasn’t so much dancing as soaking in the sexuality of the grinding, writhing crowd. She found herself wanting to press herself against his back, to slide herself down. Wanting to cup that stellar, denim-clad ass. She couldn’t tell much about him in the light with his face turned the other way. She’d just fill in the blanks herself. Imagine the feel of his hair as she sifted her fingers through it.

  She lost herself in the fantasy, in the beat. The air settled in around her as her eyes slid closed. God she needed to get out more if she found herself having salacious Penthouse Letter moments about random strangers in dance clubs.

  It wasn’t as if she were some innocent young thing. But she’d made an effort to tame her wilder side when she’d come back from that summer in Ireland. She’d buckled down and at first had lived for her ex, Adam, but finally, she was living for herself and her future. Sometimes the path was lonely but it was hers and hers alone. She jealously guarded her schooling and her schedule because she remembered every day just how easy it was to lose yourself in someone else.

  Didn’t mean she’d forgotten she’d had wild, hard, furtive sex on a bar once. Actually three times. She smiled at the memory. Some days it felt as if she’d lost touch with that part of herself, but it was there and she needed to take time to remember it more often.

  A warm, solid body made contact with hers, sending her forward, despite her bar stance, feet apart and braced for impact.

  “Shite, I’m sorry.” Strong hands grasped her upper arms and righted her. Unexpectedly, ripples of sensation echoed from the spot he touched her.

  Wait. That voice…

  Caitlin turned and stared into the amber-brown eyes of none other than Eamon Blake. The sense memory of his voice stirred all sorts of things within her, all of them pleasant.

  “Cat? Bloody hell, it’s good to see you.” She caught a flash of white teeth from his grin as he pulled her into a hug.

  Automatically, her arms went around his neck and she breathed him in simply for the pleasure of it. He smelled as good as he had the last time she’d seen him, four years before.

  But then he’d been naked. And as it happened, Caitlin really liked it when Eamon had been naked. He was really good when he was naked. Or, she supposed, really bad, which had been even better.

  “Eamon! What on Earth are you doing in Seattle?” she asked, lips to his ear. She really should step back, it probably wasn’t a good idea to remain plastered to his body but just then her hormones had the reins.

  “At the moment? Enjoying myself immensely.” Eamon’s voice, still deep and sort of scratchy and yep, still totally sexy, sounded very intimate, even in the din of the club.

  She laughed and he set her down but kept an arm around her waist as he steered them toward the bar, skillfully weaving through the crowd.

  Once they’d gotten away from the dance floor he turned his attention back to her. “You look marvelous, darlin’. It’s been a long time, but I believe you look even better than you did the last time I saw you.” A smile touched his lips. “But, aye, that’s a very fond memory. What brings you here tonight? Your boyfriend?”

  “Very smoothly done, Eamon. But no. No boyfriend.” Can I get an amen to that? “I’m here with a friend. Finals week is over and I’m celebrating.”

  “Well, my night keeps getting better. Can I buy you a drink or something? I’d love to catch up. You can tell me all about whatever degree you’re getting.”

  Right then Amy stumbled up, her arm wrapped around none other than Nathan Rich. “Hi! Look who I found.”

  Caitlin didn’t bother to hold back her sneer of disgust. “Under your shoe? Behind the toilet in the bathroom?”

  He sent a smarmy smile her way. Trying to be charming. But assholes weren’t charming. They were just assholes. “Come on, Caitlin, you know it’s not my fault. He’s my best friend, I couldn’t have told you.”

  She’d never gotten to punch Adam, and right then punching Nathan presented such a lovely substitute. Too bad ending up in jail on an assault charge would totally mess up her chances of practicing law.

  “Kathleen. My name is pronounced KATHLEEN.” She sighed. Adam had always mispronounced her name as Kate-lynn, from laziness or passive aggressively poking at her, she was never quite sure. But of course his little lapdog buddies had followed suit. “I’m not even discussing that with you.” She turned to Amy, wishing her friend had some common sense where this jerk was concerned. “Ames, I’m going to jet. I’ll see you later this week at work. Nathan, I hope those antibiotics are working.”

  Eamon’s surprised laughter sounded as his arm tightened around her waist. In her ire, she’d actually forgotten he was standing there.

  She turned back to him. “I’d introduce you but it’s not worth your energy. You still want to catch up or are you here with a girlfriend or friends?”

  “No girlfriend. I wouldn’t be chatting you up if I had a girlfriend, Cat.” He sent her a look. “I actually had a job here but it’s done now so why don’t you let me take you to a late dinner?”

  The way he totally owned her personal space like he was meant to be there was overwhelming and thrilling all at once. He leaned in as he spoke, his lips just touching her ear, breath tickling as it stirred the wisps of hair at her neck. His thumb slid back and forth, back and forth slowly at her waist.

  “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

  Amy took her hand. “Are you mad? I thought you were over Adam. This is about you tonight. I’ll send Nathan away. I’m sorry.”

  Caitlin loved Amy but she was weak when it came to men, a really annoying quality. Still, she accepted Amy’s quirks like Amy did hers.

  Caitlin hugged Amy. “I am over Adam and thankfully I don’t have to take antibiotics like your boyfriend there. Look, you know what the deal is. You dig him for whatever reason and I respect that. But I want you to stop trying to make us be nice. I think he’s a scum-sucking pig. I have good reason to think so. So you hang out with him and I’m going to leav
e. I’ll see you later. I was getting tired anyway.”

  “Who’s the stud?” Amy looked around Caitlin’s body to check Eamon out.

  “Remember I told you about the work abroad thing I did four years ago?”

  “The pub in Dublin? Ohmigod! That’s him?” Amy’s eyes widened and Caitlin noted Eamon’s body tightening as he stretched to try and hear what was being said.

  “Yep. I’ll see you later.”

  “I expect to hear every last detail, Caitlin. And one of these days, you’re going to see Nathan’s good side.” Amy’s earnest face made Caitlin want to shake her friend for being so stupid. But what could she do? She’d made her feelings known and Amy was a big girl.

  “Do me a favor and stop it. I’m serious.” She kissed Amy’s cheek and squeezed her hand, allowing Eamon to pull her toward the front of the club. “Bye!”

  Outside, the air was cool and the night smelled of the front of a rainstorm. Caitlin loved the rise of electricity in the atmosphere as it readied for rain.

  Her ears got used to the relative quiet once they’d gotten a ways from the club’s entrance. Eamon ran a hand up her arm to catch her attention.

  “Did you drive?” he asked and she let the velvet of his accent stroke her senses for a brief moment before answering.

  “I didn’t. I took the bus from my apartment to Amy’s and we drove here in her car.”

  “Ah, well that’s good then. My car is just up the block in a lot. I’m not very familiar with Seattle. This is only my third time here. Do you have any suggestions for a place to eat?”

  Half an hour later they sat face to face in a small but plush hole-in-the-wall filled with the fragrant steam of pho noodle soup.

  Eamon couldn’t quite believe what a glorious upturn the night had taken. He hadn’t laid eyes on Cat Moore in four years. Had thought of her from time to time since, always pleasantly. And yet, the reality of her there as she occupied the space across from him, seemed so much better than his memories. She wasn’t hard to look at and after a man had spent any amount of time with her, it wasn’t hard to like her either. Smart and funny, she was the best part of the last summer before his father had fallen ill.

  “Tell me about what you’ve been up to in the last four years.” He grinned.

  “You first. What brings you to Seattle? You said you had a job here?” She studied him through glasses with smallish, rectangular lenses. They lent her something indefinable but it really worked for him. Funky, unusual, they made her look like that smart girl you talked about obscure Scottish bands with until three in the morning back when he was at university.

  Even better, the lenses emphasized the flecks of hazel in her eyes, the pale lashes he knew were ginger colored against her pale-as-cream cheeks when she slept. He’d enjoyed watching her sleep. When awake she was constantly moving, laughing, talking, her hands flying as she went about her work. But asleep, he could really see her, take in her features as she breathed deeply and stored enough energy for the next day of nonstop activity.

  He took a sip of the very tasty Vietnamese beer as he savored the memory. “I’m a photographer. Mostly commercial work. I’m here to do shoots for a few clients. The owner of that bar we were just in? His wife makes jewelry and we spent the day today down at Golden Gardens park. It’s a gorgeous place. Got loads of work done. They treated me to a few drinks along with my fee. I’ve also got a few-day shoot for a local record company. I’m doing publicity for some of their artists. In between, well there’s enough beauty here to keep the purely artistic part of me busy.”

  She nodded and a tendril of that pale red hair slid forward. Unselfconsciously, she tucked it behind one of her ears and used her chopsticks to bring noodles to her mouth like a pro.

  “When did you take up photography?”

  “You mean, how did a publican from Dublin end up in America shooting alternative rock bands and jewelry makers?”

  “Yeah.” She smiled in her way, drawing his attention back to that mouth of hers. She’d been the kind of woman, despite that need to constantly be on the move, to kiss for hours.

  He took in the way she moved, deliberate and economical. There was a kind of grace in that. She’d changed from the free-spirited young woman he’d bedded for three months. He supposed everyone did as they got older.

  “My dad got sick and died two years ago. He gave me my first camera when I was eight. I gave up photography when I took over the pub, didn’t have time.” He shrugged. “Anyway, he made me promise to use my camera again. How could I refuse him? My mother supported me trying it out and my sister and her husband have taken over running the pub so it’ll stay in the family. Once I decided to take the leap, it took a year before I realized I could make a go of it. I made some sales. My sister-in-law is American, you remember? She arranged for papers. I came here and did a show. One thing led to another and here I am for at least the next little while. I just opened a studio in Los Angeles three months ago. Well it’s in my house, but a studio just the same.”

  “I’m sorry about your father. I really enjoyed his company. Taught me how to pull the perfect pint. And of course your mother supported this, she was so proud of everything you all did, if I remember correctly.” She smiled and those pale, pink lips exposed perfect teeth. He remembered the way she’d nip at his shoulder when he was inside her. A shiver worked through him and their eyes met.

  Long, slow moments passed between them as the air heated, sizzling with chemistry. Eamon couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted a woman so bad.

  “My apartment is not very far from here,” she murmured and he knew what she meant.

  He stood, tossing a tip on the table and she took the hand he’d held for her.

  Chapter Two

  This was total insanity. Caitlin could not believe she’d just invited him to her place for sex. But the truth of it was, he wasn’t a stranger and he’d be gone in a few days anyway. They’d been great together. He was inventive and courteous in bed; she’d certainly never walked away without satisfaction. And she liked him. When she really thought about it, it was the perfect solution.

  Yeah, the perfect solution.

  “We can walk. Your car is as close as you’ll get anyway. It’ll be safe if you’re concerned.”

  He turned to her as they walked down the sidewalk toward her building, his arm around her shoulders. “Darlin’, the safety of my car is the last thing on my mind.”

  She grinned, leaning into his body a moment before they crossed the street and turned right.

  “That’s my building up there on the other side of the street.” She pointed briefly, hoping he didn’t notice the slight tremble in her hands.

  “And what brings you down to this part of town then? The University is a bit away, yes?”

  “It’s a pretty quick bus ride. Most downtown busses head straight to the University District and my job is down here anyway.”

  They crossed again and she pulled out her keys to unlock the front door. He followed her to the elevator.

  “What do you do?”

  Oh how casual she could be. Just chatting about work when they were on their way up to her place to have sex. Mmm. Sex. She was glad she’d shaved her legs earlier to prepare for going out.

  She blinked up at him, realizing she’d been off in her happy place for long moments. “I’m interning at the Attorney General’s Office, in the SHS Division.” She quickly added, “Social and Health Services. It deals mainly with abused and neglected children. I’m a Rule 9 Intern. That means I can do trials with supervising attorneys around.”

  He smiled approvingly. “Ah, you did go ahead and go to law school, then.”

  “I did. After a fashion. I’m in my second year now.” She indicated he get out of the elevator on her floor when the doors opened up and they walked down the long hallway. Caitlin loved the building, loved her studio apartment. It wasn’t as grand as the showplace she’d shared with Adam for two years, but it was hers and it felt like home.
And it didn’t have Adam in it. Bonus.

  Her door beckoned, bright gleaming red. She unlocked it and waved him inside, locking up behind herself.

  Eamon filled her small entryway with more than just his physical presence. His heat, his vitality took up every inch of the place, sliding over her skin, seeping into her pores. The man was potent. Caitlin hesitated, unable to remember if he’d always been so. She seemed to recall his sexuality had been more casual, playful. Then again, hers had too. Four years had been a lifetime for her. In that time he’d lost his father and had taken on a new life’s path. That would change anyone, deepen their focus. It worked on him, she decided after taking a long look.

  He put his bag down—he’d told her earlier it contained his camera—and hung his coat up before taking hers.

  “I like it here,” he murmured, drawing her into the main room. “I don’t suppose I’d have imagined you in a room with these deep purples and golds. And yet, looking at you now, here, it works. It’s regal.” He stood in front of her, the bed only steps away. He drew the backs of his fingers down her cheek and she relaxed. She knew this man, he knew her. Everything would be fine.

  “You still with me, Cat?”

  She reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and off, tossing it on the chair behind her. Releasing the clip that held most of her hair, she sent it cascading down her back and shoulders.

  “Yes. You?”

  “Good Lord, you’re beautiful.” He bent his body, dipping his head to brush his lips across her bare shoulder briefly.

  “Would you like a beer or a glass of wine? It’s a bit chilly, I thought I’d start a fire before we got naked.”

  “I approve of your priorities. What sort of beer and or wine do you have?”

  “Take your sweater off first. I want to see you. Or part of you for now.” Caitlin realized her voice had shifted lower, into a sort of purr. It had been a while since sex had been more than a perfunctory meeting of a need. A long while since she’d truly felt sexual, especially sexy herself. Perhaps it was that he represented a part of herself she’d lost.