Always

by Lauren Dane

“Shots. We need shots.” This not from Laura, but from Caitlin.

  “She’s corrupting you.” Eamon glared at Laura who just agreed with Cat that a few shots were just the thing.

  Still, he wasn’t going to complain at the sight of his luscious woman licking the salt from her hand and getting tipsy. He hadn’t seen her this carefree since she’d been in Dublin those years before. How could he begrudge her some fun? Especially when she looked so sexy at it? And undeniably, he liked seeing her getting on so well with Laura.

  “You choose the song Caitlin will sing!” Laura ordered Eamon who only glowered. “Fine, I’ll choose then. B 14!” she shouted.

  Cat finished her second shot and stood, shaking her hair from her face. “All right then, if it’s Bon Jovi, I’ll retaliate in kind. I’ll make your ass sing Celine Dion.”

  She marched up to the small stage and keyed up B 14 and groaned, flipping the bird at Laura as they both laughed.

  Cat giggled. Thank God she took those shots or this would have been embarrassing. May as well go for it all the way. A girl needed to go big or go home. It wasn’t like she’d see any of the people in the bar except for Eamon and crew again anyway.

  She started dancing and waited…

  “You can dance, you can jiiive, having the time of your life. Ooooh see that girl, watch that scene, dig it the dancing queen.”

  She had to close her eyes or they’d all make her laugh again. Instead she pretended she was in her bedroom, eleven years old, in front of her dresser mirror singing into her hairbrush.

  “And when you get the channnnnce, you are the dancing queen! Young and sweet only seventeen…”

  Laura was so going down for this, but they’d both have fun doing it.

  At the end of the song she did a little boogie up and down the stage, bowed and waved to the clapping crowd before going back to their seats.

  “All right, bitch. C17. Let’s hear the emotion.”

  Laura high fived the waitress, who looked bored, and ran up to begin to play Celine singing about the Titanic.

  “You’re an awfully good sport,” Eamon said, after they’d gone back to his place and he’d backed her into his bedroom. He pulled her shorts and panties off and made very quick work of her shirt and bra too.

  “ABBA turns you on, doesn’t it? You’re afraid to tell anyone, so ashamed, but those Swedish women dressed in period costume singing about Waterloo get you hard. It’s okay. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.” She slapped his hands away as she surged up to get him naked too.

  He laughed. “You singing ABBA turns me on apparently since you and Laura made each other sing ABBA and Celine Dion all night long.”

  “We sang ‘Love Shack’ too. Although I have to say, Michael did a very fine job with ‘Salt Shaker’, accent and all.”

  He had been nearly as drunk as Cat was right then but Laura must have promised him a blow job or something equally attractive to make his brother actually sing karaoke. Not just karaoke but rap. He snorted at the memory. That’s certainly why he’d agreed to sing U2’s “Sweetest Thing”. And heavens but she was.

  She licked around his belly button and he watched down his body as her head dipped lower and lower. Until he had to lock his knees when her mouth found the head of his cock and took him inside so slowly he thought he might beg.

  Caitlin was good at many things. Singing karaoke, cooking, making friends, but there was always a sort of hesitance, she kept herself back a step, didn’t open herself up totally. Except for sex. When they had sex, she opened herself to him completely, gave him everything, took everything he offered. It was the time between them when he felt they were both completely honest and vulnerable.

  An ache he couldn’t name swelled inside that had nothing to do with fucking.

  He stopped thinking and just felt her mouth on him, the soft tickle of her hair as it caressed his thighs when she swung forward. His hands sought that softness, the cool strands slid through his fingers as his cock slid into and back out of her mouth. Hot and wet, cool and dry.

  He said things to her in French, a language he rarely used, but he had to say it, just not so she could understand. In the words she’d admitted she didn’t understand, he’d hidden all the feelings he’d had. He said it all, let it roll from his mouth without thinking, trying hard not to understand it himself but the words hung in the air, wrapping around them both like magic.

  Before he came, he pulled her back and laid her on the bed, covering her with his body, simply luxuriating in the way she felt against him, beneath him, pliant, warm skin, her body fitting against his just right.

  When he sank into her, her eyes slowly opened and focused and he felt it all the way to his toes. He groaned and began to lose himself in the lure of her.

  When he looked at her that way, when he made that groan, she didn’t know how to react. Part of her wanted to run, but most of her just wanted to snuggle in close and let him claim her and take care of her.

  When he’d spoken moments ago in French, she hadn’t known what he was saying but she could sense the import of it. The ebb and flow of emotion came through. It was beautiful, he was beautiful and this was the most wonderful vacation she’d had since the last time she was his lover.

  He filled her, fat and long, but more than that, she loved the way he felt there, his body a solid weight but not a suffocating one. Because she wanted to, and because she knew he liked it, she reached in between them, down her belly until she found her clit, slowly circling it with each thrust he made into her body.

  The pleasure built slowly and when it broke and she came, it rolled through her from her toes up to her scalp.

  But it was the intensity of the emotional connection that stayed with her even after she’d boarded the plane back home.

  Chapter Eight

  “Caitlin, I’ve been looking for you. Do you have a moment?”

  Caitlin turned to catch sight of Damon Thompson, one of the attorneys from the Consumer Protection division, hailing her in the elevator lobby.

  She’d had a major thing for him since the first time she’d had a conversation with him back at a mixer at Anh and Vittorio’s right after she’d started interning. Tall, athletic, big blue eyes and pale hair, he was one of those guys who windsurfed down in the Columbia Gorge on weekends and biked to work.

  “Hey, Damon, how are you?”

  “I’m good. You look great today.” He smiled, all straight, white teeth and she responded. How could she not? He was so very pretty to look at.

  “Thanks. You too.”

  He smoothed a hand down his tie. “I was wondering, um, I just moved into my new house a few weekends ago and I haven’t had anyone over for dinner yet. Would you like to?”

  She licked her lips, trying to work out how to ask the question she needed to ask. “Would this be like a friendly dinner or a date type dinner?”

  “I’ve wanted to ask you on a date for a while now but you were still in your 2L year and it felt, well I thought it would be more professional if I waited and now I don’t have anything to do with your division and I don’t mentor the interns and well, I’m sorry I waited but I hope you understand it was about me trying to do this right.”

  She laughed. “I appreciate that. I really do. And I’m totally flattered. If you’d asked me last year I would have said yes. I’m seeing someone now.”

  His smile dimmed and he nodded. “Ah. Okay then. That’ll teach me to do the right thing.”

  “I’m sorry. Like I said, if you’d asked before I began seeing Eamon I would have definitely accepted.”

  “Should this guy not work out, call me, all right? In any case, I’m still your friend so I expect to be invited to any graduation or bar passage type celebration.”

  “Of course.” She stepped back. “Thanks again for asking. I’ll see you around.”

  Caitlin hurried back down the hall toward the paralegal who’d been helping her with some research.

  “Did you hear a word I
just said?”

  Caitlin turned back to Anh and blushed. While making photocopies, she’d been off in her happy place, thinking about Eamon. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

  They began to walk back to Caitlin’s cubicle where she put all her paper down before turning back to Anh.

  “I was saying good job on the brief, thank you for writing it and also, where do things stand between you and Eamon? I overheard Damon asking you out and your subsequent rejection. He’s very cute. He lives in the same state. Nice house in Wallingford. He’s all sporty and he watches you like you’re on the dessert tray. You used to think he was hot. What’s the story? I know he’s not the only guy you’ve said no to. Vittorio said his brother asked you out the last time you were at our house for dinner. He’s really cute! Girl, you can’t be saving yourself for a man you see twice a year. It’s not healthy.”

  “Damon is attractive. I do like him, quite a bit. But the fact remains, I’m with someone.” She looked at her calendar, made sure she didn’t have anything due and turned back to Anh, who looked dubious.

  “Are you sure this thing with Eamon isn’t a way to keep yourself closed off?”

  “Look, Dr. Phil, I like Eamon. I’ve turned down dates because as far as I’m concerned, I’m taken. I don’t want to go out with anyone else. Anyway, I barely have time to sleep, in case you haven’t noticed.”

  “Okay, the number of times you can insist you don’t have time is now expired. Bullshit. You have time to fall in love. You have and you can’t deny it. I don’t want you to get hurt. You have feelings for this guy and he’s too busy off being hot Irish photographer guy all over the world. Do you know if he thinks he’s taken? Because I see you taking this thing seriously but he’s still oh-so-very-casual.”

  “How do you know what he is or isn’t? I share with you, yes, but you’re extrapolating out all sorts of stuff I’ve never said. As for him thinking he’s taken? He’s not seeing anyone else. It’s an unspoken thing but it’s clear. I’m not in love, Anh. I’m in like and whether you think it’s true or not, I am too busy to deal. I need to go home and study right now.”

  She grabbed her bag and shrugged into her sweater. This was a conversation she’d had enough times and it wasn’t a road she wanted to go down again. She loved Anh but enough was enough and she didn’t want to get into an argument over it.

  October had snuck up on them and the air was crisp but not yet too cold. School would be over in a little over a month and then she’d start bar prep classes in the evenings in January and take the bar exam in February.

  In truth, it felt as if her entire life had been focused on these next few months. She spent nearly every waking moment working, studying or sitting in class, so she should have been too busy to miss Eamon. But she wasn’t. She’d totally lied to Anh but she wasn’t ready to face it just yet. She just couldn’t. So she told herself and everyone else that she was too rushed to think about anything and tried not to. Despite the fact that she’d had three summer courses, had worked and had managed to even start studying for the bar exam, she felt his absence. He’d come up for the weekend before she’d gone back for the fall semester but that had been a month before already.

  They’d been playing phone tag for the last two weeks but he’d traveled quite a bit and she was always in the middle of something. She missed hearing his voice, so much so that she played his voicemails back just to hear him say her name. In her low moments she wondered if he missed her as much. Gah! This was precisely why she didn’t want to be in a relationship.

  “Stop thinking about it for now,” Anh said, knowing Caitlin was fibbing but letting her. “Let me walk you downstairs.”

  They small talked while waiting for the elevator and on the way down. Anh chided her about eating right. Caitlin knew Anh worried that she was just a booty call to Eamon, she didn’t know him so it wasn’t that unbelievable that she’d think so. But Caitlin knew it wasn’t that at all. He may not love her, but she wasn’t just some woman he fucked from time to time either.

  Once they were out on the street Anh stopped her. “Don’t tell anyone else but,” Anh looked around and lowered her voice, “I’ve got you an interview. You wouldn’t be coming on in the same 3L hiring process, this would be different. But your grades are spectacular, your work has been amazing and you’ve got a lot of influence behind you with your recommendations. With you taking the bar exam early, I think you have a real chance at this spot.”

  Caitlin hugged her friend. “Thank you so much! I appreciate it. I won’t let you down, I swear.” Anh was one of the most senior AAGs in the office, her opinion would mean a lot. But they’d also look at other things so she’d have to shine her ass off. Or something to that effect anyway.

  “November fifth. You’ll need to come into the office here. First there’ll be a panel and if they like you, you’ll go to another round. They’re interviewing three other people as well. But you can do this, I know you can.”

  “I will, I promise. Thank you again. Thank you for all your support and for believing in me.”

  Anh shook her head, smiling. “Honey, of course I believe in you. Who wouldn’t? Look at you. Go home and eat something please. Or I’m going to sic Vittorio on you.”

  On air, she practically skipped the long blocks back to her building. So much she planned for, so much she worked for and it may just happen yet.

  Eamon was in London on a job. The time difference sucked but she wanted to tell him about the interview. She’d have to wait because it was six there in Seattle so it was still the middle of the night for him. She wanted to reach out to him, wanted to share this thing with him because she knew he’d understand what it meant.

  Putting it from her mind, she made herself some soup and hit the books.

  Eamon woke up and began to pack. He’d be heading back to New York that afternoon and then LA a few days later. He missed his own bed but more than that, he missed not talking to Caitlin more frequently.

  As if he’d summoned her like magic, his cell rang.

  “Hello, Cat, it’s awfully late for you, darlin’,” he said without preamble when he answered.

  She laughed and he heard the weariness.

  “I was just about to go to sleep, but I figured you’d be awake by now and I wanted to catch up with you. With all your jet setting, it’s hard.”

  “I wanted to ring you, but I’m afraid to wake you up. Selfishly, I’m glad you stayed up to call. I’ve been up a few hours now. You could have woken me up you know. I’m just packing my bags. The cab will be here in a few hours to run me to Heathrow. I’ll have a meal with Hannah and Billy before I go.” He tossed himself on the bed. “You sound knackered.”

  “I am but it’s worth it to talk to you. I don’t have to be in school tomorrow until eleven so I have some time to sleep in.”

  He knew she wouldn’t. That was her way.

  “I got an interview with the AG’s office,” she told him excitedly, following up with the details. He smiled, knowing it was what she wanted, knowing it made her so happy.

  “That’s great news, Cat! I’m proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked for it.” What a feather in her cap this would be if she got the job. God knew she deserved it, she spent every waking moment working for it.

  “Thank you. And how did your work go?”

  “I did two classes that were totally sold out. Shot two weddings, a lot of commercial stuff I hadn’t even planned on, as well as my other jobs. Some portraiture, that sort of thing.”

  “Nudes?” she teased.

  “A few.” And not a one of them even tantalized him. Sure he appreciated the beauty of a woman’s body. He worked with many young, nubile and fit women, many of them scantily clad or naked. But it was his memory of Caitlin, her hair in a messy topknot, glasses slipping down her nose as she sat curled up somewhere reading that made him want to reach for his zipper.

  “Mmm hmm. You sound so casual.”

  “It’s a job. Pretty women, sure
. But you’re the one I want to get naked for lascivious reasons. Although if you’d let me photograph you naked, you’d make my entire year.”

  “Pffft. So you’ll be in New York for a few days and then back to LA?”

  “Indeed. I’m meeting with a guy from NYU who’s interested in setting up some classes back and forth between the coasts using photographers from a wide array of styles and voices. He’s the person I’m writing the grant with. I’ve got some miles stored up, by the way. Seattle isn’t too far afield if you have the time? Like say, over Thanksgiving?”

  “As a matter of fact, I’m done with school by the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week. I have a few exams the second week in December but I could totally use a visit from a friend. I’ll make you turkey if you like. That is, if you’re sure you want to be away from your family.”

  “Thanksgiving is an American holiday, Cat. I’m happy to spend some time with you. It’s been months and months since I’ve had you last. You smell good and you’re quite the cook. I’ll look into a flight and my work schedule and I’ll get back to you.”

  They spoke for a few more minutes. He wanted more, loving the sound of her voice but she was so tired, he wanted her to rest even more so he rang off, promising to call her when he got to NY.

  His sister, Hannah, and her oldest son Billy had come over to London two days prior and he was due to meet them for a meal before they went their separate ways home.

  Hannah reminded Eamon of his mother, the same quiet but implacable will, merry eyes, both of them excellent mothers. While Eamon was similar to Michael in personality, he was closest to his sister, despite the distance. He’d shared some of his situation with Caitlin but Hannah knew he wasn’t telling him everything so she simply turned to him when he arrived at the café near the hotel and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Now you’ll be telling me why you aren’t getting serious about this girl. I’m done playing with you and your evasions. Your face changes when you talk about your Caitlin. Your world weariness falls away. Laura says she’s a fine woman, strong, intelligent. Ma says she’s a vivacious girl, she said Da thought the world of her when she worked in the pub. Irish blood, Irish name, that’s a sign. Why are you wasting your time playing in Los Angeles when you could just as easily be in Seattle with her? You’re too old to be chasing skirts.” One of her eyebrows rose imperiously and he resisted the urge to dig his toe into the linoleum below his feet and stammer an apology.