At this, Miss Mary finally raised her head and met his gaze. “Would she? I suppose she would.” A small smile danced about her lips, not quite taking precedence there. “Before she wed, Lizzy was the one who visited the tenants and told us what was needed. Jane and I go now, but everyone misses her.”
“Yes, I can imagine,” Darcy replied feeling an ache in his chest. He ran his hand over the book. “Your sister is greatly esteemed by many. I am certain her absence is keenly felt.”
“Is that her book?” Miss Mary suddenly asked.
Darcy felt foolish being caught out by a girl not yet twenty. “Your father allowed me to borrow it as Mr. Bingley’s collection is sorely lacking.”
“I would think you had a copy of Wordsworth, sir, being a wealthy gentleman.” Suspicion narrowed her eyes.
“I do, but it is at my home in Derbyshire and it has been some time since I read it.” He continued speaking as he slipped the book to his side. “I am unfamiliar with the area. Has Longbourn many tenants?”
Though she hesitated, he was pleased when she allowed him to change the subject and they spoke for some minutes regarding her home. Elizabeth was mentioned a few more times, bringing him joy mixed with sufficient pain that he was pleased when Bingley stood and announced they must return to Netherfield. Mrs. Bennet invited them to dinner in three days’ time which they eagerly accepted.
As the carriage pulled away from the manor house, Bingley sighed. “Was Miss Bennet not lovely? I was fearful at first when she would not look in my direction, but we spoke easily once I assured Mrs. Bennet I intended to remain at Netherfield through the harvest.”
“I am pleased to hear it.” Darcy’s hand went to the pocket of his great coat where Elizabeth’s book rested. “I have no doubt you will be courting sooner than you might expect. For that reason, I believe I will return to London at the beginning of next week.”
“But you promised to help ease the way as well as teaching me what is needed to run an estate. Surely you can be away a few more weeks,” Bingley pleaded like a small child.
“We shall see what we are able to accomplish in that time and I will plan accordingly,” Darcy relented.
They rode on, but he could feel his friend’s gaze upon him. As they approached Netherfield, Bingley said, “Something has changed about you, Darcy. You have always been far too serious, but this is different. You are nearly melancholy.”
“As I told you on our journey here, I am atoning for wrongs I have committed in the past.” Darcy glanced out the window. I simply did not realize how painful it would be.
***********
The weather was warm for May, but Elizabeth did not mind. Her bonnet swung at her side, as usual, and her eyes wandered over every bloom and leaf. Her journey to the Abernathy home was made in a relaxed manner this Friday. Anne had not appeared at the bend in the road to accompany her, so Elizabeth enjoyed the time alone in nature. The only thing wanting was a book of poetry, but Mr. Collins had declared them frivolous things which distracted a young lady’s mind from her duties. The common unease settled about her shoulders, but Elizabeth took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, willing the thoughts of that man away and summoning another.
She had received a letter from Jane the day before and was pleased to hear her sister’s joy at Mr. Bingley’s return, though she seemed a bit guarded. Elizabeth was also happy to hear Mr. Darcy had made an effort to engage the inhabitants of Meryton and Longbourn in conversation. Once word of Mr. Wickham’s debts had spread about the area, his complaints against Darcy had been called into question. With that gentleman’s return and his new open nature, they were quick to espouse the opinion that they had always preferred Darcy to the penniless officer. Elizabeth shook her head as she fondly recalled her neighbours’ foibles.
Genie stood upon the steps as Elizabeth approached the house, a smile lit her features. “I was wondering what was taking you so long, but I see you are enjoying this lovely day.”
“Yes,” Elizabeth unbuttoned her pelisse and hung it, with her bonnet, on a peg near the door once she was inside. She embraced her friend. “Though I love you and your mother dearly, I fear I no longer have the opportunity to wander with the breeze as I once did. I was enjoying a few stolen moments.”
Linking her arm through Elizabeth’s, Genie pulled her toward the stairs. “Well you are here now and that is what is important.”
Elizabeth giggled. “Is it you or your mother who is so eager to see me?”
“You know we adore you, Lizzy, but I am certain …”
Elizabeth froze to the step, no longer hearing her friend’s words. William stood at the top of the stairs.
“Impatient man!” Genie cried.
Without a word, Elizabeth raced up the stairs and into his arms. Darcy met her a few steps from the top, crushing her to his chest as he rained kisses upon her hair.
“I have missed you so, my love.” His voice was hoarse. “Hearing your name so frequently while in Hertfordshire made my mission difficult, but I persevered as you would have me do.”
“Jane and Mr. Bingley?”
“Nothing is arranged, your father refuses to move too quickly this time, but I expect they shall be courting before the end of the month.”
Genie cleared her throat from the top of the steps. “Perhaps you should spend some time alone before visiting Mama.” She smiled and entered her mother’s sitting room, closing the door behind her.
William took Elizabeth’s hand and led her down the hall toward their room. Once inside, he held her face between his hands and pressed light kisses over her countenance. It felt as though he was painting her into his memory. She reached out and began unbuttoning his jacket and waistcoat. He chuckled as his hands travelled to her back and made quick work of her fastenings. As their clothing fell away, they began a slow journey toward the bed where each expressed without words just how much they had missed the other.
Afterward, Elizabeth lay with her head upon William’s shoulder as she traced a finger over those traces of chest hairs she had come to adore. “How was my family?”
“They were well. Your father misses you terribly. I believe he regrets his decision.” He kissed her forehead. “He allowed me to borrow your copy of Wordsworth’s Poems. I fell asleep reading it each night.”
“I was thinking of that book just this morning.” She placed a row of kisses from his chest to his neck.
“I would have brought it to you, but I promised your father I would return it before I left the area.” William turned so he could capture her lips and they spent several minutes in a slow, worshipful exploration of the other’s mouth.
With a sigh, Elizabeth rolled onto her back and ran her fingers through his hair. “It is best you did not. Mr. Collins prefers I read more inspirational works.”
“What could be more inspirational than Wordsworth?” Darcy asked as he ran his lips down her jaw and onto her neck, taking a moment at the dip between her collarbones before continuing lower.
“Apparently Fordyce’s Sermons.” She gasped as he lifted his head from her breast.
“You cannot be serious.”
Elizabeth laughed as she pulled him back against her. When he was suckling her once more, she ran her hand through his hair and arched her back, pressing herself against him.
Without hesitation, William slipped between her thighs and entered her again. All thought of the outside world slipped away as they lost themselves in their lovemaking.
***********
The last pin was finally placed, and her hair appeared much as it had that morning, despite William’s kisses upon her neck and shoulders as she had worked. When she stood, she found herself once more in his arms.
“When will I see you again?” she whispered, barely able to form the words.
“Possibly Tuesday, but definitely Friday.” He kissed her once more as they heard the dreaded knock at the door.
After a few minutes with Mrs. Abernathy, who was pleased to welcome Darcy back i
nto her home as she winked at Elizabeth, the couple made their way back to the meadow.
“Are you staying at Rosings?” Elizabeth asked.
“No. I will return to Genie’s and gather my horse; then I must be on the road to London.”
Elizabeth gasped. “All that way? But when did you arrive?”
“Shortly before you were due. I was able to refresh myself, so I was not covered in dust when I saw you.”
Elizabeth threw her arms about him. “You will be careful, will you not? I could not bear if something happened to you because of me.”
His arms went about her as his kisses and words reassured her that he would be well. Reluctantly, she released him, and they continued to the spot where they normally parted.
“May I ask something of you?” Her voice was so soft it nearly drifted away with the breeze.
“Anything, you need only say what you require.”
“Might I have something of yours that I too could hold when I sleep? Of course, it must be something that would not make Mr. Collins suspicious or raise questions.” She bit her lip. “Oh, perhaps not.”
Darcy ran his thumb over her lip as he considered her request and finally reached into his pocket. “A proper gentleman always carries two handkerchiefs, my dear. One for use and one for a lady in need.” He pressed the piece of linen into her hand.
She raised it to her nose and sniffed, smiling as she smelled his scent of sandalwood with a touch of horse and that bit that was solely him. It was precisely what she required. Elizabeth slipped it into her reticule and turned to face him. “Until next week.”
He bowed over her hand, kissing each knuckle before she slipped away, a smile dancing about her lips.
*CHAPTER SIXTEEN*
The church at Longbourn was so much lovelier in August with flowers draped over pews, pulpit, candle holders, and anything else Mrs. Bennet could find. Much cheerier than when Elizabeth walked this aisle in January with only a few bits of greenery remaining from the Christmas celebrations. She pushed these dark thoughts away and smiled as she looked toward the front of the chapel. There stood Mr. Bingley, his countenance beaming brighter than she had ever seen. Her eyes skipped quickly over him and came to rest upon the man at his side. Mr. Darcy stood stiffly, his eyes caressing her form as she moved toward him, though she was certain his posture and expression did not betray his thoughts to any but her.
She took her place opposite the men and turned to watch Jane make her way toward them on her father’s arm. Her sister had never looked more beautiful, which was remarkable in itself. Mrs. Bennet beamed from the front pew with the younger Bennet daughters to her left. The Gardiners and Phillips sat with Mr. Collins just behind the Bennets.
Mr. Collins’ lips twisted in a pout and he barely turned to watch his cousin’s approach. He had hoped to be given the honour of performing the ceremony, but both Jane and Mr. Bingley had professed a close relationship with the local rector. To ease his disappointment, Mr. Collins had been asked to bless the wedding breakfast after the ceremony. He was still feeling less than appreciated as he expressed to Elizabeth repeatedly whenever they were alone.
Feeling her lips draw together in distaste for the man, Elizabeth quickly returned her gaze to her sister and smiled brightly. This was the event that would make her life easier to bear. Knowing Jane was happy and loved.
As she turned to listen to the rector’s words and watch her father place Jane’s hand in Mr. Bingley’s, Elizabeth felt Darcy’s gaze upon her. Though she tried not to look at him, when the rector began reciting the vows, her eyes were drawn to his. The meaning of the words washed over her as their eyes held. She could nearly imagine them being the couple; his hand holding hers, Darcy’s firm voice followed by her own soft whispers. Before she realized it, her sister was married, and Elizabeth’s hand rested upon her lover’s arm as he led her out to sign the registry. Her hand shook as she noted that only two lines separated Jane Bennet’s signature from Elizabeth Bennet’s. Now she forced her hand to sign Elizabeth Collins.
She concentrated on her breathing as she kissed her sister and congratulated the new Mr. and Mrs. Bingley. Once again, she could feel Darcy watching her, but to look at him would send her into his arms. Instead, she turned and followed the newlyweds out of the church where she joined her family. Mr. Collins’ hand grasped her elbow as always while she fought the urge to pull away from him. She found it more and more difficult to maintain her joyful appearance.
Someone, probably Mr. Collins, assisted her into the Bennet’s carriage and they were on their way back to Longbourn.
Mrs. Bennet had outdone herself. Every possible flower could be found somewhere in the home and the most lavish spread of food covered the dining room table. All the doors had been thrown open on the first floor (except, of course, Mr. Bennet’s book room) and people wandered about speaking amicably.
Her mother had not been allowed such frivolity when Elizabeth wed. Mr. Collins had insisted they leave from the church so they would reach Kent by dark. When they returned to Longbourn three days prior, it was the first Elizabeth had set foot inside her childhood home since the morning she left in her wedding dress.
Elizabeth managed to free herself from Mr. Collins and walked about the room speaking with neighbours she had not seen in months. With every step, she felt Darcy’s steadfast gaze, like a comforting presence, seen but not acknowledged.
When everyone was assembled, Mr. Collins cleared his throat loudly. Elizabeth saw her father’s smirk as he observed his son-in-law with amusement. Heat rose in her cheeks that the man she thought loved her above all others in her family was still able to find folly in the actions of her misery. Could he not see how embarrassed she was by this fool’s words, his movements, his very being? Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked rapidly and lowered her head in mock righteousness as Mr. Collins began a prayer of blessing over the new couple. She was unsurprised when Lady Catherine and Mr. Darcy’s names were mixed in with his praises. Soon it became unclear who was being blessed or if there was a blessing to be had. The sound of shuffling feet followed by a throat being cleared were not recognized by the rector as signs that he should come to a close. Instead, he launched into more of a sermon regarding proper behaviour in a wife, with little arrows cast in Elizabeth’s direction. Her mortification grew.
Just when she thought it would never end, a man’s voice from somewhere in the room said “Amen,” and others followed suit. Mr. Collins appeared confused but, as people had begun speaking and moving toward the table to fill plates, there was little he could do. His frown had returned, and he appeared to search the crowd in an attempt to learn who had ended his moment before he desired until his eyes fell upon Elizabeth. With sure steps, he made his way in her direction and grasped her arm, pulling her toward an out of the way corner.
“Who had the audacity to interrupt me?” he hissed in her ear.
Elizabeth was unable to suppress her disgust at his closeness and leaned as far from him as she was able, but he yanked her to him.
“Please, sir,” she whispered. “People are watching us.”
She was uncertain if it was true but hoped he would believe her. When he took a step back, Elizabeth looked up to find Jane staring at her from across the room. Not wanting to mar her sister’s day, Elizabeth smiled in her direction.
“I should speak with the guests, sir.” She kept her voice soft and her eyes lowered.
Mr. Collins did not respond at first, so she turned her head enough to peek at his countenance. He was staring at her, his brow pulled down in the middle and his eyes narrowed. “Very well,” he said as he released her arm. “I have decided we will be leaving at first light to-morrow.”
“But,” Elizabeth stood straighter and stared at him directly, “we are to see Jane and Mr. Bingley off to-morrow near noon.” Her eyes filled with tears and she pleaded with him. “Please, sir. I know I have not always done as you wished, but she is my dearest sister. Mr. Bingley is taking her to Ire
land to meet distant relatives and they do not expect to return before spring or possibly summer. May I not have just that one last time with her?”
His lips pursed as he looked at her. “I suppose we might spend one more night. But only one.”
“Thank you,” Elizabeth whispered as she curtseyed and then moved away from him. Her hand rested upon her stomach which rolled miserably as she made her way through the room, greeting individuals and smiling dutifully until she was able to slip into her father’s book room.
It was empty, for which she was eternally grateful. She lowered herself into her chair, the one directly before her father’s desk where she once sat and drank tea while giving reports on the tenants. So much had changed, and she wanted time to reverse, for everything to return to those days before her father had been ill. Before he felt the need to secure his wife and daughters’ futures. Her tears which had been suppressed earlier fell rapidly.
“Elizabeth?”
A gasp escaped her as she spun toward the door. Mr. Darcy stood there; his eyes filled with longing.
“Forgive me, I thought you might be … distressed. You appeared …”
She shook her head. “I am well. At least, I will be.”
They stared at each other, both knowing they dare not come closer, but not knowing what to say and unwilling to leave.
“I will be leaving at the same time as the Bingleys to-morrow.” His voice held a note of longing.
“We will remain until the following morning.” She looked deeply into his eyes. “I believe I shall walk to Oakham Mount to-morrow. I miss watching the sunrise from there.”
“I can imagine it is spectacular.”
“Indeed. I highly recommend it.”
He nodded, then turned and left the room.
Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, her hand clutching her chest where her heart beat wildly. Through several deep breaths, she regained a modicum of ease and, after wiping her face with his handkerchief, she rejoined the others.
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