***********
It was yet dark when Elizabeth drew her heaviest cloak about her shoulders and stepped out the kitchen door into the gardens. Longbourn still slept except the staff. Mrs. Hill and cook had given her a knowing smile when she appeared before them that morning. They were familiar with her love of walking and had heard Mr. Collins decree it a most unladylike practice. Neither of them would betray her.
The soft grey of pre-dawn light began filtering through the air as she made her way down familiar paths leading further and further from her home. As they turned upward, her footsteps fell faster and she soon found herself running, only slowing when the incline became too steep. A laugh escaped her lips as she neared the top and she burst into the small clearing as though she were the first to finish a race.
Arms wrapped about her and drew her into a firm embrace. Darcy’s scent encompassed her, and she clasped his lapels, burying her nose against his chest and inhaling deeply.
“I did not wish to miss a minute with you.” He tossed her bonnet aside and kissed her hair. “Come.” he pulled her away from the path and toward the trees.
Elizabeth saw a blanket spread on the ground and his horse tied to a tree several feet away. She looked at him curiously.
He blushed as he sat upon the blanket and pulled her down beside him. “I believe your sister and my friend will be exceedingly happy together.”
“Undoubtedly.” Elizabeth settled against him and looked out toward the horizon. “It will be some time before they return.”
“Yes.” William’s hand moved in a slow, hypnotic pattern over her back raising chill bumps on her skin and increasing her desire for him.
“I have missed you,” she whispered as she raised her lips to his.
Their lips locked in what grew from sweet caresses to abandoned desire in an instant. He broke away to lay kisses across her jaw ending near her ear.
“Love me,” she begged.
Without hesitation, William laid back and drew her on top of him. He lifted her skirts and urged her to straddle him as he undid the flap of his trousers. Elizabeth followed his every direction and he buried his engorged member within her completely. Their passion consumed them, and she soon collapsed against his chest shaking with her release. The tears, which now seemed constantly about to fall, flowed from her eyes and she sobbed.
“Forgive me, my heart. Did I hurt you?” He kissed away her tears. “Please, Elizabeth, tell me what I have done.”
She shook her head and clung tighter to him. “Nothing. You have done nothing.” She snuggled her nose against his neck and sighed. “I fear it is my soul which cries, and I am unable to suppress it.”
His arms tightened about her. “I should never have pursued you. This is all my doing.”
Elizabeth sat up and laid a finger upon his lips. “No. You rescued me.”
“A poor job, that.” Darcy barked out a strangled laugh and kissed her finger.
“You did. I had forgotten who I was; submitted to Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine’s demands of who I should be. My spirit was gasping its final breath when you reminded me.” She traced her finger over his cheek, across his firm jawline, and down to the small indent in his chin. “Memories of our time together stop me from losing my mind.”
His hands travelled from her hips up her sides, his thumbs caressing the outer edge of her breasts through her many layers of clothing, before continuing around to her back and urging her once more down to his chest.
Darcy stilled. “Has he hit you again?”
“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Though I fear he becomes impatient with me as I have yet to show signs of increasing.”
“Your family remains ignorant of what you sacrifice for them?” He placed kisses over her hair and countenance as he spoke of the depth of his love for her.
Elizabeth remained still, absorbing every nuance of his attentions. She felt him growing hard once more inside of her and her muscles tightened about him. Darcy’s soft groan spurred her to sit up once more and begin moving against him. His hands found her hips and guided her motions until they were again riding a wave of passion as it broke over them repeatedly. He sat up; his arms wrapped about her as she shivered against him.
With deliberation, Elizabeth pulled back and looked into his eyes before lightly kissing his lips. “You are returning to Pemberley for the harvest?”
“I must.” Darcy leaned forward, but Elizabeth drew back, her gaze falling to his chest.
“Are there any eligible ladies in the area of your home?”
He laughed. “None which I desire as I do you.”
She looked into his eyes. “You must …” She bit her lip and began again. “You must find a wife, William. You require an heir.”
“I will wait until you are free.” He attempted to kiss her again, but she avoided his lips.
“That may never be, or we could be old, far past the point of children.”
“Georgiana will be my heir, or her son.”
“But then he will not be a Darcy.” She caressed his cheek and he turned his head to kiss her palm.
He shrugged. “I will require he change his name.” He drew her closer to him. “I will not abandon you. You are the rightful Mrs. Darcy. I will not take another woman to my bed, Elizabeth. You were meant to be mine.”
“But what if he never dies?” A shudder ran the length of her body. “It is in such thoughts that I realize how lost my soul truly is. How can I wish him …?”
“Shh,” Darcy kissed her. “No more of this talk.”
Elizabeth pushed away from him and looked about. “I fear the sun has risen.”
“You must go, before someone comes looking for you.” He kissed her deeply.
They broke apart and she whispered, “Mama is familiar with my habits.” Elizabeth buried her head under his chin, not wanting to leave him.
“But Collins may feel differently.”
The pain in his words cut deep into her chest. Reluctantly, Elizabeth drew away from him. “You are correct, of course.” She smiled. “Do you not tire of being right?”
Darcy grabbed her and pulled her back against him. “I will never forgive myself for knowing you were my heart’s desire and not acting.” He kissed her again before holding her to his chest.
Extricating herself from his arms, Elizabeth stood and smoothed her skirts. She could feel his seed making slow progress down her leg and she pressed her thighs together in a vain attempt to hold it within her.
Darcy knelt before her, a handkerchief in hand, and slipped it under her skirts until he was able to gently wipe her clean. He wrapped an arm about her waist and laid his head upon her stomach as she ran her fingers through his hair. They remained in this position, feeling as though time stood still, until Elizabeth stepped away from him.
“I must return.”
Darcy nodded. He stood and gathered the blanket and his horse’s reins before offering her his arm. They descended the mount in silence and walked until they reached the split in the road. They looked about to insure no one was near and he brushed his lips against hers once more.
“Be safe,” she whispered in his ear as he bowed over her hand.
“You as well,” he replied as he straightened and kissed her forehead.
Without looking back, they each took their own path and returned to the parties who awaited them.
***********
Elizabeth rounded the curve in the road, startling when she saw Mary sitting upon a stile. She turned aside to wipe her cheeks.
“Forgive my presence,” Mary said as she stood. “I know you prefer to walk alone, but it will be breakfast soon and I did not want you to lose all track of time.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Thank you, Mary. That was very thoughtful of you. You are correct, I quickly forget the time when I am walking.” She slipped an arm about her sister’s. “Shall we return?”
They walked in companionable silence for a time. As they neared Longbourn, Mary tugged lightly upo
n Elizabeth’s arm. “Lizzy, are you happy?”
Startled from her thoughts, Elizabeth looked away. “I would say I am … content. My marriage is a source of security for my family and I hope to provide Mr. Collins an heir so our family will continue at Longbourn for many generations.”
Mary squeezed her arm. “But what of you? Certainly, that is well and good for everyone else, but what of you?”
Elizabeth patted Mary’s hand where it rested upon her arm. “Jane is happy, that pleases me.” She slipped her arm from Mary’s and separated from her. “I believe I will visit the hermitage; it has been some time since I was there. Will you excuse me?” She walked away before Mary could respond and hurried the short distance to the small sheltered area.
The familiar area worked its magic over Elizabeth and soon she found herself fortified to enter the home. Mrs. Hill winked as she passed through the kitchen and motioned for one of the maids to take her outerwear. Elizabeth passed along the hallway and took a deep steadying breath before she entered the dining room followed closely by Mrs. Hill with their meal.
Mr. Collins purposely removed his time piece from his pocket and looked at it before turning his hardened gaze upon her.
“I was in the hermitage meditating on God’s gifts and lost track of time,” she said softly with her head lowered. She took her seat beside her closest sister.
A frustrated huff was heard from Mr. Collins’ direction, but no more was said. Mary reached under the table and squeezed her sister’s hand. Elizabeth’s surprise morphed into a grateful smile.
Following breakfast, Mr. Bennet escaped to his book room while the remainder of the party adjourned to the parlour where Mrs. Bennet began to relive the events of the previous day. Jane was by far the most beautiful bride and Bingley the handsomest groom that ever was. It was apparent Mrs. Bennet could think of no other whom she would want as a son-in-law and her pleasure of them being so near could not be expressed sufficiently.
With each statement, Mr. Collins’ expression darkened and Elizabeth’s concern grew.
“I am so pleased you are able to remain for another day, Lizzy,” Mary said the moment their mother drew breath. “We have missed you so.”
Mr. Collins’ frown deepened even more. “I believe, Cousin Mary, you have interrupted your good mother.” His eyes flashed toward his wife. “I would hate to think that your previous humble and serving manner has been adversely affected by my wife’s presence. Perhaps it would be best if she were to remove to another room this evening.”
“No!” Mary cried. “I mean, I thought Mama was finished speaking and meant no offense.”
Elizabeth’s head was bowed and her voice soft. “Perhaps I should remove to another room tonight as we are to leave early to-morrow morning. I would not wish to disturb my sister’s sleep.”
“Oh,” cried Mrs. Bennet, “there will be many changes, I am sure now that Jane is gone. Though I am displeased with the length of time they may be away for the wedding trip.” Her eyes sparkled. “Perhaps it might even be extended. Should dear Jane fall with child while they are in Ireland they will be forced to remain there until the babe is born.” Her expression fell at this revelation. “Though I would dearly wish to be present for my first grandchild’s birth.”
Elizabeth inhaled sharply and grimaced as she knew what would come next.
“Lizzy?” Mrs. Bennet raised a brow in her daughter’s direction. “Have you news to share with us?”
Mr. Collins’ expression became darker as his gaze fell upon his wife.
“No, Mama,” Elizabeth’s words were barely audible.
Mrs. Bennet huffed as she cast a derisive glance toward the rector. “Well, I suppose not if you are not even sharing a bed with your husband.”
“Mama, I do not believe this is the time or place for such a discussion,” Mary said in a calm voice. “Should we not prepare ourselves to visit Netherfield? We do not want Jane and Bingley to leave before we see them off.” She stood and reached out to take Elizabeth’s hand.
“I will have a word with my wife,” Mr. Collins declared as he took hold of Elizabeth’s arm.
Everyone else had turned away as Elizabeth winced. She saw Mary hesitate, her eyes narrowing as she frowned, but soon she turned and followed the others from the room. When they were alone, Mr. Collins pulled her toward the most uncomfortable chair in the room and indicated she should sit.
He towered over her, leaning forward to make her feel even smaller. “I was right to avoid this place for so long. Little has changed and what has is not for the good.”
“I do not agree, sir,” Elizabeth kept her voice soft. “Kitty and Lydia seem to be improving.”
“Perhaps,” he reluctantly acknowledged, “but Mary, the one worthy member of your family seems to be following in her unrepentant, impertinent sister’s footsteps.”
As he spoke, his spittle fell about her, and she tried not to flinch.
“I will be reading your letters to your sister before they are posted. My wife will be a pillar of virtue, not an example to be condemned.”
Knowing a response was not required, Elizabeth waited a breath before she spoke. “May I go, sir? I must change before we travel to Netherfield.”
A soft huff was his response, before he stepped away to allow her to rise and depart.
What joy she had felt that morning in Darcy’s arms was nearly gone. She dropped her head as she used the rail to pull herself up the stairs, hoping with every step that Mary would not be in the room so she could be alone to collect herself.
*CHAPTER SEVENTEEN*
The aroma of breakfast sausage filled the air causing Elizabeth to clutch her stomach as she rolled to her side and buried her face in the pillows. It was the end of October and the autumn chill was in the air. This was her favourite time of year, but she no longer woke early enough to enjoy a morning walk before the household began to stir. Instead, she was queasy and had wretched into the chamber pot several times in the past week. She prayed that she might be with child and hoped to-day’s visit to Genie would confirm her suspicions.
Sarah entered and stood at the side of the bed. “Are you ill again this mornin’, Ma’am?”
“It is the smell,” Elizabeth said, her voice muffled by the sheets.
“Ah.” The maid crossed to the dressing table and Elizabeth could hear a drawer open and close and bottles rattle. Sarah returned and held out a handkerchief. “Hold this to your nose, Ma’am. It will help with unpleasant odours.”
Elizabeth did as she was told, and lavender filled her senses. Her stomach calmed and soon she was able to sit up. Sarah helped her to dress before rushing from the room to serve the master. When Elizabeth was certain she was sufficiently recovered, she made her way below stairs where Mr. Collins was already seated. He said nothing to her as she entered but continued eating his meal. He only looked up when Sarah approached with a plate of toast for her mistress, and then he simply waved the maid away.
“If you insist upon sleeping late in the mornings, you will have no breakfast,” he said before returning his attention to his plate.
Elizabeth hesitated beside her chair. “Then perhaps I should go to my parlour and begin to-day’s work.”
“No. You shall sit and attend me.” Mr. Collins motioned toward the seat.
Grasping the handkerchief to her nose, Elizabeth sat with her eyes lowered.
“Have you a cold?” the man asked with no feeling.
“No, sir,” Elizabeth replied, though she did not lower the cloth.
“Is there aught wrong with your nose? Why do you hold your handkerchief so?” he demanded.
“I fear the smell of the food …”
“I cannot understand you.” He reached out and snatched the bit of linen from her hand.
The strong smells of the breakfast food mixed with Mr. Collins’ cologne and bodily odour flooded her senses and Elizabeth felt the room begin to spin. She clutched her stomach but was unable to remove herself from the room
before the contents of her stomach spewed across the floor, splashing upon the rector’s shoes and trousers.
“Ugh!” The man leapt from his seat. “Sarah!”
The door from the kitchen opened revealing the maid with another plate of food for the master. “Oh, mistress!” she cried as she dropped the plate on the table and wrapped an arm about Elizabeth. “Let us get you back to bed. Where is your handkerchief?”
Elizabeth looked toward Mr. Collins who now clutched her handkerchief to his own nose. She thought she heard the maid “humpf” but was uncertain as she was quickly led out of the room and up the stairs.
“But who will clean this up?” they heard the rector whine after them, but they continued on their way.
“I must visit Genie this morning,” Elizabeth whispered as Sarah cleaned her face and gave her some water to rinse her mouth.
“I will send word to Mrs. Genie, Ma’am. You must rest.” The girl gently pushed Elizabeth down onto the bed.
Though Elizabeth wished to disagree, her eyelids were too heavy. She never heard Sarah leave the room.
***********
That disagreeable odour was back. Elizabeth wrinkled her nose and rolled to her side to distance herself from it.
“Dearest,” she heard whispered. “My dearest Elizabeth.” A hand shook her shoulder gently. “Are you awake?”
“Yes, Mr. Collins,” she mumbled, uncertain if her words were discernible.
“My dear, it is grand news, is it not?” His voice grew louder.
“What?” Her eyes remained closed hoping he would share his gossip and then allow her to return to her rest.
“Why you are with child! Lady Catherine said it must be so.” He leaned closer, the smell of stale coffee washing over her. “Are you? Is that why you have been so slothful of late?”
Elizabeth’s hand moved to her mouth and Mr. Collins jumped backward. As the distance grew between them, her stomach settled. “I believe her ladyship is correct, sir. I had not wished to speak until I was certain.”
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