Poppy's Whale

by Marie-Francine Herbert

  POPPY’S WHALE

  POPPY’S

  WHALE

  by

  MARIE-FRANCINE HÉBERT

  Illustrated by Philippe Germain

  Translated by Sarah Cummins

  CANADIAN CATALOGUING IN PUBLICATION DATA

  Hébert, Marie-Francine, 1943-

  [Maison dans la baleine. English]

  Poppy’s whale

  Translation of: Une maison dans la baleine.

  ISBN 0-929005-90-2

  I. Title. II. Title: Maison dans la baleine. English.

  PS8565.E2M3413 1996 jC843’.54 C96-930242-8

  PZ7.H42Po 1996

  Illustrated by Philippe Germain

  Originally published as Une maison dans la baleine

  by Les éditions de la courte échelle

  Copyright © 1995 la courte échelle

  Copyright © 1996 Second Story Press (English language edition)

  Copyright © 1996 Sarah Cummins (English translation)

  Second Story Press gratefully acknowledges

  the assistance of the Ontario Arts Council and The Canada Council

  Printed and bound in Canada

  Published by

  SECOND STORY PRESS

  720 Bathurst Street, Suite 301

  Toronto, Canada M5S 2R4

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  THAT’S ALL

  CHAPTER TWO

  HEARTSICK

  CHAPTER THREE

  AN OCEAN OF TEARS

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE END OF THE WORLD

  CHAPTER FIVE

  PUT YOURSELF IN MY PLACE

  CHAPTER SIX

  TO LIFE, TO DEATH

  CHAPTER ONE

  THAT’S ALL

  YOU HAVE NO IDEA what my grandfather did. That traitor!

  He went away, can you believe it? He never said one word to me, and he didn’t leave a new address or a phone number or anything. He left me behind without a second thought, like an old apple core. Me, Poppy, his own special girl, his so-called ray of sunshine.

  We didn’t often get to see each other because my grandfather lived far away by the ocean. But whenever we went to visit him, it was like a celebration.

  Grandpa was so happy to see us — my parents, my brother Pip, and me. But especially me. He would hug me tight and whisper, “I’ve missed you so much, dearest Poppy.”

  Everyone said we were as close as two fingers on your hand.

  We could spend hours together on the beach, watching the sky make beautiful cloud patterns. We imagined what life would be like if we were seagulls. We gave a name to every wave that rolled in. We made up all kinds of games.

  But what I liked best of all was going out to watch the sunrise with him. No one else could ever wake up early enough. Grandpa would always tell me that I was his brightest ray of sunshine.

  I trusted him. He was the one who persuaded me to try swimming without water wings.

  “Let the wave carry you,” he would say to encourage me. “Don’t be afraid, sweetie. I’m right here beside you.”

  And then he left. I would have followed him to the end of the world. Well, that’s exactly where he went. Without me, obviously.

  And to think that I had to spend the night in his old house! The next day my parents were to hand the keys over to the new owners. And that would be that!

  After dinner, my parents decided to take a walk on the beach. They wanted to enjoy the nice weather, because it looked like a storm was brewing. There was definitely a storm brewing inside me!

  I’d rather have locked myself in the room where I usually sleep. There was no way that I would let even the shadow of my big toe touch that beach!

  I heard my dad saying, “Poppy hasn’t shed a single tear. And I thought they were so fond of each other, the two of them.…”

  “Maybe she’s too young to really understand what’s happened,” my mom replied.

  Oh no! I understood only too well that I’d been betrayed!

  And I would not shed a single tear for such a traitor. The sooner I forgot about him the better. End of story!

  Without getting undressed, I lay down on the ridiculous bed Grandpa had made with his own hands. A sailboat-bed, if you can imagine!

  I pulled the covers up over my head. I didn’t even look out the French doors. Grandpa had made the bed specially so that I would feel as if I was sailing on the sea. But at that moment I hated his stupid old sea, and all the seas in the whole world, if you really want to know!

  Suddenly I heard a sound. It had to be him! Grandpa had come back! I recognized his way of knocking on the door. I felt crazy with happiness!

  Grandpa couldn’t really have abandoned me. We loved each other too much for that.

  Oh, and before I forget — don’t believe a word of what I said before about him. I only said that because I was angry. Honest!

  I stuck my head out from under the covers and cried, “Grandpa!”

  But it was only Pip, my little five-year-old brother. You can imagine how disappointed I was.

  “Grandpa can’t come back, Poppy,” said Pip. “He’s been dead for weeks.”

  I wouldn’t listen.

  “It’s not true! You’ve got no right to say that, Pip! Get out of here! Just get out!”

  “That’s life, Poppy. Mom said so. Grandpa is dead, that’s all.”

  Before he left, Pip wanted to give me something, a souvenir. I huddled under the covers. I didn’t want any souvenir. I wanted my own living, breathing grandfather.

  I closed my eyes and thought hard about him, as hard as I could. As if that could bring him back. Then I realized that I couldn’t even picture his face anymore. All I could see was a big blank. That’s all.

  Outside it started to rain. In my heart, it started to rain too.

  CHAPTER TWO

  HEARTSICK

  I KEPT REPEATING OVER and over, “He’s dead, Grandpa is dead. Grandpa is dead.”

  I would never see him again! I understood that in my head, but in my heart I couldn’t believe it.

  And I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. All the hurt inside me overflowed, like a mountain spring. The water gathers in one spot underground, and then one day it gushes up to the surface.

  Grandpa told me all about mountain springs the last time we went climbing. I was tired from having climbed so much, so Grandpa carried me on his shoulders on the way down. Do you know what I thought as I placed my hands on either side of his head? That I was lucky to know a person who was so old.

  Do you realize how much knowledge there is in such an old head? Between my hands I was holding a treasure more precious than the most precious book in the world!

  But never again would Grandpa open the book of his life for me. Never again!

  Springs can turn into rivers. I knew that if I started to really cry I would never be able to stop.

  Whenever I was sad about something, Grandpa would take his handkerchief out of his pants pocket. It was a big red-and-white checked handkerchief. Grandpa never thought crying was babyish, even when I was only crying over a skinned knee or something silly.

  Grandpa would wrap my little hurt up in his big handkerchief and we would blow on it: poof! My hurt would fly away as if by magic. Grandpa said it was love that made it disappear.

  If the hurt was big, Grandpa would wrap me up in his arms and wipe my tears away, all the while murmuring, “It’s all right, sweetie. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just one of the storms of life. It will pass, like every storm. Even the biggest ones.”

  I would lean against his chest and wait for calmer weather to return. Sometimes we wouldn’t speak a word. Sometimes I would suck my thumb. Grandpa never said, “That’s bad for your teeth.�
�� He understood that sometimes you just can’t help it.

  Grandpa understood everything.

  I would let myself be rocked by the rhythm of his breathing, as soothing as a soft, warm breeze. And finally my heart would be floating again on the calm waters of life.

  I’ve never had such a big hurt as the one I had now. And Grandpa wasn’t there to comfort me. He’d never be with me again. He’d never again ask me, in a voice like a rainbow, “So, sweetie, has the sun come out again? How about a nice cinnamon bun to celebrate?”

  Have you ever seen a mountain stream rush down a steep slope and turn into a torrent? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me. Huge sobs heaved in my chest and torrents of tears spilled from my eyes.

  Never again would I hear him laughing over the telephone. He would never again write to me at the end of one of his letters: From your Grandpa who loves you and thinks of you always. I can’t wait to see you. Toodle-oo!

  What would I do without him?

  Now it wasn’t just a mountain stream that was flooding down my cheeks — it was a river! If this kept up, I would feel like a tiny boat lost on an ocean of tears.

  Grandpa told me that all rivers flow into the sea. The sea goes on and on for as far as you can see, and never seems to end. Like the sadness I felt – if you really want to know!

  I didn’t realize that what I was thinking was actually coming true! It seemed to me that my bed was bobbing up and down. I stuck my head out from under the covers … and guess what I saw?

  CHAPTER THREE

  AN OCEAN OF TEARS

  NOT ONLY WAS MY FACE flooded, but the bedroom floor was too. I would never have imagined that one little girl like me could hold so many tears.

  My bed was floating on top of the water. Can you believe it? There was even a current. It was like a huge river, trying to burst through the French doors and flow into the sea. I’d probably wind up drowning in my own tears!

  Oh, come on, Poppy, I thought, that doesn’t make sense! When people talk about a stream or a river or an ocean of tears, they’re just making a comparison, to spark the imagination.

  When you say somebody is likely to drown in their own tears, that just means the person is crying a lot. So much that if you collected all the tears, there would be enough for a person to drown in them. It’s just a manner of speaking, right?

  Before I could answer my own question, the French doors suddenly swung open. Believe it or not, my bed and I were swept out to sea. A huge sea, the real sea!

  I quickly tied the covers to the foot and the head of the bed so that they wouldn’t be blown away. They billowed out in the wind and my sailboat-bed skimmed far, far out to sea. So far that I couldn’t even tell where I was anymore.

  Above me, the clouds threw icy cold splashes of rain down on me. Around me, the water grew angry and churned in wild waves. The sea didn’t care if I capsized or not.

  I flattened myself down on the mattress. What else could I do? I couldn’t think of anything else.

  One day Grandpa and I had gone for a boat ride. The sky was blue, bright blue. The weather was so clear that we even spotted a whale. Honest!

  But then very suddenly the wind picked up. It was an angry wind, I can tell you. It smeared the sky with big black clouds, and tossed the sea water every which way. And the sea grew angry and black too.

  You would swear that the wind was trying to capsize our little boat. It was wild!

  I had never been so afraid in my life. Grandpa was scared too. Especially when a huge wave crashed down on me and almost swept me away. If Grandpa hadn’t grabbed me, I wouldn’t be here today to tell the tale.

  “Hold on, Poppy. We won’t let this godforsaken wind get the best of us, I can tell you that.”

  Huddled in the cockpit, I watched Grandpa at the rudder. You should have seen how he challenged the wind and played leapfrog with the waves. You could tell he had fought many a storm in his day. He knew just what to do.

  I wished that I would be as brave as him when I grew up. But he never gave me time to learn how.

  And now I was lost right smack in the middle of the biggest storm of my life. And there was no one at the rudder. Anyway, I didn’t even have a rudder, or a lifejacket, or even my water wings.

  It was all his fault. How could Grandpa have done such a thing to me? I hated him! I had loved him so much. That’s why I was so angry at him now.

  A great battle broke out in my heart between love and hate. Neither one would leave the other any room. They fought like tigers.

  In the sky the clouds started their own battle. It was as if nature was acting out what was going on inside me. Bolts of lightning raked across the sky, followed by huge thunderclaps. Crrrack! Badadaboom!

  That was the signal for the sea to rise up. Just under me, it arched its back like a huge, frightened cat. I was perched at the top of a giant wave, higher than the highest mountain.

  My grandfather and I used to play a game like that when I was little. Not for all the gold in the world would he have let me fall off his back. But now the wave was trying to topple me.

  All at once, the wave flattened out. I went flying off to one side, and my sailboat-bed went the other way.

  I couldn’t help crying out, “Help! Help me, Grandpa!”

  As if his hand would be there to grab me and pull me to safety. What a crazy idea. How could he help me now? Who could hear me anyway? I was going to drown, for sure.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE END OF THE WORLD

  TO MY GREAT SURPRISE, I didn’t sink down to the bottom of the sea. I landed flat on my stomach on top of … something.

  At first I thought that someone had come to my rescue with an air mattress. But I couldn’t see anyone at all. And it wasn’t an air mattress.

  Whatever it was, it was soft and wet. I know it sounds crazy, but it felt like a tongue. A giant tongue. It was probably a bed of moss. Probably I had fallen into a cavern.

  Never in my life had I felt so small. Really!

  At one end there was an opening through which I could see the sea. It was just on the other side of a row of teeth … I mean, a fence.

  At the other end I could see a corridor that looked like a slide.

  Suddenly I felt the ground move underneath me. It felt like I was in the house of horrors at the amusement park. But I wasn’t, that was obvious. I wasn’t in a cavern either.

  There was only one possible explanation, even though it was unbelievable. I had been washed up onto a tongue in an enormous mouth. And there is only one sea creature that has a mouth that big.

  I didn’t even have time to say its name before I slid down its throat.

  I was in a whale. A whale with teeth — probably a sperm whale. This whale had just happened to open its mouth right when I was passing by. And it had swallowed me whole, without even realizing it.

  And now I was in its belly. It was dark and empty, just like my heart. Honest!

  I know what you’re going to tell me.

  You’re going to say I should have stamped my feet, jumped up and down, and run all around, banging on the walls and yelling at the top of my lungs, “Yoohoo! Excuse me, Whale, you seem to have swallowed me by mistake. Could you please let me out of here? Please?”

  But why would I want to get out of there? You’ll say, to go back home, so you can play and read and dance and laugh like other kids.

  But since my grandfather died I didn’t feel like doing any of those things. I was too sad. His death was not just a storm in my life. It was like the end of the world.

  Why should I go back home? What home? This was my only home now: my home in the whale.

  I’d rather just stay here in its belly, I thought, and do nothing. Just roll myself up in a ball in the corner.

  It was so soft. It felt like velvet. The temperature was perfect. Of course, whales are mammals and are warm-blooded, just like humans.

  I could hear its heart beating with a steady rhythm. Boomp! Boomp! I could hear the blood
coursing through its veins and arteries. Vvvvvrrr! Just like when I was in my first home, inside my mother’s womb.

  I was at peace. There was no beach, no sun. Nothing. I could suck my thumb as much as I wanted. This was my home now. My last home.

  After a while, the whale took a deep breath and dived headfirst. I could feel it going down, down to the bottom of the ocean. I let myself slip gently into a deep sleep. I wouldn’t have to think about anything.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  PUT YOURSELF IN MY PLACE

  SURPRISE! YOU’LL NEVER guess what I dreamed about then. My grandfather, believe it or not.

  I dreamed that I was sleeping in his old house. And someone knocked softly on the door.

  “Poppy honey, it’s me, Grandpa.…”

  I couldn’t believe my ears.

  “Grandpa! It can’t be you. You’re dead.…”

  He continued to speak to me in a whisper, just the same.

  “It’s time to get up now, sweetie.”

  How could Grandpa be dead and standing at my bedroom door at the same time? I didn’t understand it at all. Put yourself in my place!

  Let’s think it over! That’s what Grandpa always told me when there was a problem.

  And the more I thought about it, the less I understood. Because death is a mystery. It’s not something you can understand with your head. You can only understand it in your heart. That’s what my grandfather told me when my grandmother died.

  I never thought he would die too. No way!

  So I listened to my heart. And do you know what my heart said? It told me that even though Grandpa was dead in real life, he was still alive in my dream. So I might as well enjoy it.

  In a flash I got up. I was so eager to see him. Just as I went to open the door, I woke up. Oh no!

  No wonder I woke up. My room was full of squid! Did I really say “squid”? It was true. I was in the belly of a whale, and the whale was having dinner.