Night Fires

by D H Sidebottom

  She winked. “Oh, come on. You need initiating.”

  I rolled my eyes but grinned. “Well, so long as there’s no blood.”

  “No blood.” Bray tapped his temple with two fingers and lifted his shot. “To getting two girls wrecked enough to take me home and play strip twister,” he toasted with a cheeky wink.

  Scoffing, Janie and I toasted back. “In your dreams.”

  Blowing out a disappointed sigh, Bray smirked. “Blown out again. Anyone would think I’d got herpes!”

  “We’ve all seen your medical records, Bray. Don’t try and laugh it off!” Janie smirked.

  “You cheeky mare!” Bray dug a finger into Janie’s side. It was hard not to see the crackle of chemistry between the pair and I smiled to myself, remembering the feeling so well.

  “Everything okay?” Janie asked when she looked at me curiously, my pain evidently exposed too clearly.

  Forcing a smile, I nodded. “Yep.” Shouting the barmaid over again, I ordered another three shots. “Let’s get drunk!”

  “Finally!” Bray exclaimed. “A girl after my own heart!”

  I nodded. However, I wasn’t after his heart. I didn’t ever want to own another one, but desperate to forget, I downed another whisky and joined my new friends on the road to much needed oblivion.

  Bray and Janie shouted out of the taxi window when I meandered up the steps then went down face first as the brambles wrapped themselves around my ankles again. “Shit, Alice! Are you okay?”

  I raised a hand in the air and stuck my thumb up, my drunken giggles stopping me from actually standing to answer them.

  “Yay!” Janie shouted. “See you tomorrow.” And with that the taxi pulled off and my new friends left me to sleep on the garden path.

  “For fuck’s sake.” His gruff voice beat through the drums in my head, the contents of my stomach fighting with the way my throat restricted its plea for freedom.

  “Mmm?”

  Opening my eyes when my body was lifted, I stared through the blurry haze into an angry pair of steel grey eyes. His gaze snapped forwards as he expertly avoided the weeds and brought me to my front door.

  “How did you find me underneath the bushes?”

  He quirked a brow but other than that he showed no facial reaction to my question. “You broke wind.”

  My eyes widened then I blew out a breath and nodded knowingly. “It’s Guinness. Always does that to me.”

  “Keys?” Carter barked, making me blink vacantly. “Keys, Alice. Where are your keys?”

  “Uhh, my bag?”

  He huffed and shifted me into one arm as he snatched my bag and rummaged inside with his free hand. I gawped at him, amazed he was able to lift me in one arm. I wasn’t overweight but my hips held a layer of flesh that really shouldn’t be there, and my stomach was far from flat.

  He swung the door open and kicked it shut behind him then carried me up the stairs and into my bedroom. “Carter,” I mumbled, astonished that I had the capacity to say his name correctly, never mind remember it. “Carter…”

  “What?”

  “I’m going to puke.”

  His eyes rolled at the same time as a furious growl rumbled in his chest. Turning around quickly, he rushed to the bathroom and rather inelegantly dropped me beside the toilet, the fat on my arse providing little in the way of cushioning.

  He stood by me as I vomited into the bowl, my groans as loud as my retches. The room filled with the smell of whisky and I grimaced. “You should go,” I managed through my heaves.

  He remained stoic as he continued to watch me spew. I was positive he was enjoying my suffering.

  “Finished?” he asked when I leaned back. I nodded glumly.

  He filled a cup with water and handed it to me along with my toothbrush, loaded and equipped with paste. Again, he watched me, studying me as I brushed my teeth, my cheeks heating with shame as he glared at me.

  When I’d finished, he scooped me up and walked back into the bedroom. This time, instead of just dropping me, he held onto me as he pulled back the duvet then slipped me gently under it and pulled off my pumps.

  “Do you need a bucket?”

  I shook my head slowly, still mortified by my behaviour and his care. He nodded then turned and opened the door.

  “Carter,” I whispered making him stop and turn back. “What time is it?”

  “Two.”

  “In the morning?”

  He nodded again. I nodded back. As he tried to leave, again, I called his name once more. “Did your fire go out?”

  He swallowed but answered me with a firm nod.

  I nodded back. “Did she come?”

  The air around me seemed to disappear when he froze. His eyes narrowed on me as his Adam’s apple bobbed in distress. He appeared to grow in size. However, I was drunk, my tact now in the drain with my stomach. “Did she? Did she come back for you, Carter?”

  Just when I thought he was either going to beat me up or combust on the spot, he slowly shook his head. Securing my gaze, his clear eyes fixing on my bloodshot ones, his lips parted and he sighed. “No, Alice. She did not.”

  I nodded sadly. “They never come for me either.” Then I turned over and drifted off to sleep.

  Morning, Billy.

  Good Lord, my damn head is pounding. Too much alcohol. You should be grateful you never found the temptation of oblivion . . . I’m talking about whiskey and Guinness, BTW. Do you have Guinness up there? If you do, don’t touch the stuff!! It’s evil!!

  I’ve made some great friends already and everyone has welcomed me. Well, apart from one guy. I feel for him though. I can’t help comparing him to myself. He lost his wife last year and she was pregnant with their child.

  It just makes me wonder. Mum always used to tell us that there was a God, and that he was looking down on us. Yet, lately, I struggle to accept that. What kind of superior being would allow his ‘children’ to suffer like this?

  I miss you so much, kid. All of you. Something I’ve wanted to ask you for a while …. Do you watch me? I know, stupid question. Yet, sometimes, especially on my beach, I look up and I swear I can feel you, smell you even. I can hear the whisper of Josh’s laughter and the scent of Mum’s perfume. I know. It’s just my imagination keeping me sane, but sadly, I like that it does. It holds you near.

  Anyway, I have to get to work. Give everyone big squeezes, and I love you all. Forever.

  Swilling down the rest of my coffee, I grumbled at the pounding in my head as I pulled on my pumps. I mentally made a note to chastise Janie. It was all her fault.

  Locking the door behind me, I made my way down the rickety stone steps. Reaching the bottom, I stopped and frowned as I turned back. “Eh?”

  The path was clear. All the weeds and brambles had been uprooted, the way through now completely clear. In fact, the whole front of the house had been tidied, the ivy remaining but cut back so the small pink buds still adorned the white walls.

  Scratching my head I wondered if Carlos had been round, but it had only been four hours since I’d fallen into bed, and I doubted he would have worked through the night. Trying to figure it out, I gave up by the time I reached the café, my brain way too delicate to cope with my rambling mind.

  “Good morning,” Janie said brightly when I walked in. She grinned at me as she slipped my sunglasses up my face and perched them on the top of my head. The light burned my retinas and tortured my poorly head.

  “How come you’re so bloody perky?”

  She winked and walked out into the dining area with two plates of bacon and eggs, the smell wafting into my nostrils and causing my stomach to gurgle in revulsion.

  “My daughter is many things.” Betty looked at me from her position in front of the stove, the smell of frying eggs making me wince. “Including a lush.”

  I laughed as Janie reappeared and smacked her mother playfully. “Excuse me! How could you talk about your only child that way?”

  Betty quirked an eyebrow. “I
go to church, young lady. Dishonesty is a sin.”

  Janie spluttered out a laugh. “When was the last time you stepped foot in anywhere remotely religious?”

  Betty smirked and Janie narrowed her eyes. “You’re talking about that new club in Penzance aren’t you? The Church!”

  I laughed to myself, loving the mother and daughter closeness. My chest closed in and I brushed it aside. Betty gave me a sad smile like she could read my thoughts as she passed me. “You see to serving, Alice. Janie and I can cook today.”

  “You’re a legend!” I gave her an appreciative smile as I tugged my apron around me, hurriedly knotted the ties, and grabbed a flipbook.

  “Ohhh,” Janie said. “David’s out front waiting to order. I don’t think you’ve met him yet.”

  I recognised David as soon as I set eyes on him. He was the only customer without a face full of wrinkles. He looked around my age, late twenties, and his hair was jet black and slicked back stylishly. He wore a suit, an expensive one, and I wondered why he wore that in such a small village. I smiled at him. “David, I presume.”

  “Ah.” He returned my warm smile. “Alice Bird. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “Likewise,” I said as I started to wipe down the counter. “It seems we have something in common.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, we’re not dead.”

  Attempting to hide my laughter when an elderly woman who was waiting to pay for her food glared at David, I shot him a brief wink. “We both love books.”

  His eyes widened. “Oh.” He shuffled his stool towards me. “Favourite?”

  I blew out a breath and thanked Mrs Fenchurch when she rummaged through her loose change and tipped me all of fourteen pence. “To be perfectly honest, I can’t really pinpoint just one. I love reading anything and everything, from biographies to historical, horror to romance. I’m very eclectic.”

  “That’s good to know.” He shot me another smile and I noticed how perfectly straight his teeth were. His eyes warmed and I quickly looked away.

  “What can I get you this morning, David?”

  He blinked, pulling away from his personal musings. “Just a coffee to go, please, Alice. I’m running late this morning.”

  “You work out of the village?” I asked as I slipped a polystyrene cup under the machine’s spout and hit the appropriate button.

  “Devon. I’m the governor at Dartmoor prison.”

  I nodded and lowered my eyes into his slowly filling cup. “Right. Tough job.”

  His eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second when I glanced at him, suddenly feeling rude by my behaviour. “It has its moments. But it’s rewarding enough.” He grabbed his coffee and placed a fiver on the counter. “Catch you later, Alice. Nice to finally meet you.”

  “And you.” I coughed, forcing back the tiny lump of nerves that had developed in my throat.

  “Everything okay?” Janie asked from behind me, making me jump.

  “Uh-huh.” I gave her a nod as I blinked.

  She frowned. “You were just stood staring at the door. Miles away.”

  “Was I?”

  “You were.” She stared at me expectantly.

  “Umm, oh, I was just talking to David about books and realised there’s no library here.”

  “Penzance has one,” she said as she slid a bacon sandwich over the counter to an elderly gentleman.

  “Thank you. I finish early today and wanted to stock up.”

  “The nights can get pretty lonely, huh?”

  I shrugged then turned to Mr Murray when he sidled up to the counter to order and shuffled himself onto one of the stools. “Good morning, petal.”

  I winced at the horrendous smell of cabbage and greeted him in return, trying desperately to hold back the vomit that was rushing up my throat.

  Janie peered at me dubiously when she saw my face go a funny shade of green. “Go grab a breath. I’ll see to Mr Murray.”

  I nodded and practically leapt over the counter, holding my breath all the way until I burst through the shop’s doors and emerged on the street. Sucking in huge quantities of fresh air, I leaned forwards, resting my hands on my knees to steady myself, and groaned. “Never again. Never – ever – again, Billy,” I mumbled quietly.

  “Oh Christ. I thought I looked rough.”

  I looked up to see Bray chuckling at me, heaving and gasping, his face as pale as my own. He was holding something in his hand, and on opening his palm, I stared at two little white pills. “Here,” he said. “Special cure.”

  I shot upright and shook my head, my eyes flicking from the pills to his face. “No!”

  He frowned at my alarm, backing away from me slightly. “Hey, just a hangover remedy. Aspirin and Vitamin C. That’s all.”

  I clenched my teeth, feeling stupid. Bray was staring at me like I was a nutter. He was correct.

  “Oh.” I didn’t say anything else, just gave him an apologetic smile and took the tablets.

  “Janie has a lot to answer for,” he grumbled. “I swear that girl absorbs alcohol like she’s made from sponge.”

  “I can’t even remember getting home.”

  He pursed his lips and blinked slowly. “Shit. I think we left you capsized on your path.”

  “You did?” I shook my head. “Can’t have. I was definitely in bed this morning.”

  He shrugged and looked back over to the garage as a man stood out front looking around. “Have to go. I’m flying solo today. Catch you later, Alice.”

  “Bye.” I looked around him, trying to catch a glimpse inside even though he had said he was working alone. Then, shaking myself off, I made my way back inside, praying Mr Murray had gone. He hadn’t. I prayed harder.

  After my shift finished I ventured into Penzance and found the library. It was stocked high and after spending a good couple of hours inside and figuring out which books to check out, my hangover had finally subsided and my belly growled hungrily.

  It was approaching late afternoon but a pasty van was still set up at the bottom of the library steps, so purchasing one and a coffee, I decided to eat in the park opposite. The sun was out and the blue sky was cloudless, but a cooling breeze made the heat bearable. In the centre of the park was a huge lake. Swans and ducks glided elegantly and various people manoeuvred motorised toy boats across, or sat on the banking with their bare toes dangling in. Couples walked their dogs on the path surrounding it, or were laid out on the grass just enjoying a lazy sunny day. It was immensely peaceful and I couldn’t help but smile as memories of childhood trips with my family to the park filtered in. They were the first happy memories in such a long time that I just stood, frozen in place, appreciating the view, and for the first time, allowed them in to take over.

  When my stomach rumbled again, pulling me out of my daydream, I looked for an empty bench. Most were fully occupied but when I spotted one to the left of me with a single man sitting by himself, I frowned and peered closer.

  “Hey.” I smiled at Carter as I took the vacant side of the bench.

  He stiffened and turned to look at me. The steel of his eyes glinted at me as though he was furious. I frowned to myself when a trickle of heat slithered up my spine.

  “Do you mind me sitting here?” I asked when he continued to glare at me.

  “Yes.”

  Okay.

  I nodded. “Shame.” I settled back and placed my takeout coffee on the bench between us. “Help yourself. Caramel latte, extra shot with chocolate dusting, sans brandy.” I gave him a guilty roll of my eyes.

  Carter remained silent. I could see the tension in his jaw as his eyes lowered to the coffee then back up to my face. He had such a deep intense expression on his face that I chose to look out to the water.

  “It’s a lovely day.”

  Silence.

  “We’ve been blessed with a good summer this year,” I added, more to myself, knowing I wouldn’t receive an answer.

  I started to hum as I pulled the pasty from the paper bag. The aroma i
mmediately made my mouth water and I smiled happily. Then I tore it in half, and held out one piece to Carter.

  His gaze slowly left the water and landed on my offering.

  “Cheese and bacon,” I informed him as I jerked it further towards him. “Don’t worry, I haven’t made it. Seriously, I wouldn’t be that cruel to push my baking on you.”

  He frowned, still looking at it as though it was an ancient artefact I’d just dug up out of the ground by my feet. Then he reached out and hesitantly took it from me. “Thanks.”

  The relief that coursed through me shouldn’t have made me as excited as it did. The man was an arrogant arse and I couldn’t understand why I kept trying to make friends with him.

  Yes I did. But I chose to ignore both answers that whirled around my head.

  We ate in silence, both of us watching the world go by. It was strange but the quiet had become comfortable and although we weren’t talking, we were very much there with each other in that moment.

  Watching when a man threw a Frisbee for a dog, I tipped my head to the side, keeping my gaze on the galloping hound. “You know, I’m thinking of getting a dog,” I mumbled. “Just a small one, I think. Nothing too huge. I was thinking maybe a spaniel, or a bulldog. They’re sweet. It would just make a change from listening to… nothing. Someone to snuggle in front of the telly with. Maybe he’d join me to eat at the table?” I mused, still watching the dog tear across the grass after another throw of the toy. “There’s only so much of yourself you can listen to, isn’t there, before you start to go crazy? Although…” I pursed my lips. “I’m a bit concerned that they might smell.” I shrugged. “Yeah, I think it would do me good.” I grinned when the dog leapt at an elderly man and knocked him on his ass. “I think we’d make a great team, make each other happy. I’m sure he’d like me. I’m not that bad. So long as I feed him then he’ll love me. Right? The quiet kills, you know. Whoever thought up that stupid phrase ‘silence is golden’ needs to live with a silence so intense it’s crushing…”

  Life snapped back and I clamped my mouth shut. An embarrassed heat shimmied up my cheeks and I stole a glance towards Carter. He was staring at me, not with anger, but what seemed like curiosity.