“He deals with his grief differently to you.”
I was shocked by his awareness, and I rushed back to the kitchen before I sank to the floor in front of him and cried.
“Mr Frey wants tea,” I blurted to Janie as I attempted to hold in my despair.
She stared at me with wide eyes. “Mr Frey?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, trying my best to hold everything together. “Mr Frey.”
“Mr Frey is in the café?”
I gawped at her like she was stupid. “Am I not speaking clear English? Mr Frey wants a cup of tea.”
Betty, who was cooking by the oven, turned slowly to me. “Mr Frey?”
What the hell was wrong with everyone? “Why are you so damn surprised that Mr Frey wants a bloody cup of tea? It’s a café!”
Janie shook her head as if clearing her thoughts then disappeared into the café before returning. She stared at me like I’d gone mad. “Alice, where was he sat?”
“By the window.”
Something about the quiet way she spoke made me stand still. An invisible force was pressing against my chest as I slowly made my way back out to the front. The table where Mr Frey had sat was now completely empty, the chair he’d sat in tucked under the table, and the salt pot he’d been fiddling with sat perfectly beside the pepper pot.
Janie and Betty looked at me when I walked back into the kitchen. Their faces were pale and Betty was holding on to the countertop as if she was going to fall down.
“How do you know Mr Frey?” Janie asked quietly.
I frowned. “He sold me the house.”
“What?” Janie appeared to be hyperventilating and she lowered herself onto the chair in the corner of the kitchen. “He can’t have.”
“Why can’t he? Of course he did.”
She shook her head slowly. “Because he died four years ago.”
My mouth fell open but it was the only thing that was capable of moving. A funny wheeze came up my throat as nausea lay heavy. “What? No. He greeted me to Mousehole. I gave him the cheque for the house.” I narrowed my eyes on her and groaned. “You bitch!”
She gawped at me.
Rolling my eyes, I chuckled. “You really thought you had me there.”
Her head slowly shook from side to side as Betty stood frozen to the spot, staring at me.
“No joke, Alice. Kingfisher House belonged to Mr Frey and his wife. He died around four years ago, and his wife died about eighteen months back.”
Goose bumps burst out over my skin and I stumbled backwards, my back hitting the wall. “But I bought the house from him.”
“We all thought it was funny because he had no family. We just gathered the state had claimed the house and sold it you,” Betty said.
“It was advertised in my local paper. I rang the number and we arranged to meet. He was real. I’m telling you. You have to be wrong.”
“Four years, Alice,” Janie said bluntly. “We all went to his funeral. He was well loved and missed greatly. His wife, Edith, never coped without him and followed him on. The house has been stood empty since.”
A shiver burst across my skin and I rubbed at my arms. “But then that means…”
I didn’t finish the sentence before everything went black.
Billy,
Did you do this? I don’t understand. And if you did, why Kingfisher House? What is so important about the place?
It’s all gone to pot. I now realise that I don’t actually own the house, and that I have to leave. I don’t know where to go. I’ve essentially been squatting.
I fell in love with the place too. She is my little bit of comfort. Something about her calls to me, soothes me. And once again, something I love is being ripped from me.
Other than that I’m doing okay. Other than finding out that Niall has been released. But I suppose that makes my job easier, and one step closer to being with you all again. Always looking for the good points me lol, not that it ever gets me anywhere.
Carter has been nowhere near me either, I swear I’m cursed. I wondered if you knew his wife, if you’d met her up there. God, I sound like a crazy person! Of course you wouldn’t know her. Ignore me, it’s been a long week.
Anyway, Mack is whining at the door so I better let the little demon out before he decides to do it on the doormat… again.
Love you, kid, and I suppose I’ll be seeing you soon. Wish me luck.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the daft dog. He adored the water, and jumped at the waves as if they had a personal vendetta to take him down. He was absolutely filthy, which in turn made me just as grubby because after he’d ‘disposed’ of each wave, he’d come running and jumping at me in celebration. But he was a breath of fresh air after everything going through my head. He allowed me to forget, him and my beach, just for a little while. He had a habit of finding the best stones and bringing them to me, and after a few days of bringing him down there, I had a large glass bowl filled with a selection of every colour and shape.
“Lunch time, Mack!” I shouted as I scooped up that day’s array of pebbles and turned back to the house. I could hear him panting behind me and I squealed when he shook himself and the back of my t-shirt was drenched in sea water.
A laugh made me look up and I smiled at Janie as she stepped off the bottom rickety step onto the sand. “Hey, Mack!” She couldn’t do anything but greet him when he launched himself at her, her face screwing up in disgust when he coated it in a film of his saliva. “Remind me why you love this ball of fur?” She laughed as he tried to scramble up her body.
“Mack, down!” I ordered as if he would listen.
Janie rolled her eyes and followed me back up the steps to the house. “Have you found anything out?” she asked as we walked into the kitchen. Mack immediately went to sit at his bowl and Janie fed him as I switched on the kettle.
“Well, I checked the bank account I wrote the cheque from and the money’s still there.”
Janie shook her head and peered at me. “How can you not realise that amount didn’t go out of your account?”
I shrugged. No one, only Carter, knew about my family, and as if sensing my hesitation, Janie held up her hands. “Hey, nothing to do with me. Sorry.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I uhh, I was left some money and it’s in a separate account to my regular. I just didn’t think to check. Heck, who isn’t going to cash a cheque for nearly two hundred thousand? I just presumed it would have come out.”
“Yeah, I get that.” She nodded as she sat at the table and I placed her drink in front of her. “So what are you going to do?”
I looked around the kitchen, my heart aching. “I don’t know. I love this place. It’s not like I can go to the local council either; they’ll do me for squatting. I’m just going to have to find somewhere else.”
“But there’s nothing up for sale around here.”
I nodded. “Tell me something I don’t know. I’ll have to move back out of the village.”
“You should try and find shit out. Check with someone to see if it’s available to buy.”
“I’m not sure I’d know where to start. It doesn’t make sense. I swear he was real, Janie. He handed me the damn keys. He showed me around. I can’t make sense of it.”
She nodded slowly. “It’s bloody freaky if you ask me.” A shiver belted through both of us. “Anyway, I came to tell you we’re going up Newquay this weekend. I’ve booked your hotel room.”
“Eh?”
“I told you we do it once in a while. We stay there ‘cos it’s just as cheap as getting a cab back.”
“But I can’t. I have Mack now.”
She waved her hand at me as if I was making excuses, which in a way I was. “Mum will have him.” Her wide smile told me it was settled. “And besides, Beth’s back.”
“Beth?”
Janie frowned. “Beth, yeah. She’s been visiting her family in America. She’s back on Thursday.”
“Am I supposed to know who Beth is?”
She rolled her eyes as if, yes, I should know. “She’s the only other under thirty in this place. We all go out and let our hair down.”
“All of us?”
“Well apart from Carter.”
I nodded in understanding. “Right, okay.”
She winked and jumped up with excitement. “We’ll pick you up at seven Saturday night. Be ready.”
“Aye, aye!” I saluted her before she breezed out of the room.
Mack stared up at me like he’d understood our conversation and knew I was leaving him. “Ahh, you’ll love Betty. I bet she cooks you sausages.”
His answering whimper made me smile.
“I’ll never let you down, buddy.”
He clawed at my legs, trying to fight his way up my body until I eventually gave in and hoisted him up. Such a pushover.
The library was packed that afternoon and I literally had to fight my may through the self-checkout terminal. Some random woman tried to swipe my copy of the latest Martina Cole book which I’d placed on special order. Bitch. And then, as I scooped up my books, a runaway child bumped into me and knocked them all flying.
I gulped at the cool air when I eventually managed to burst through the front doors. The sun was out, warming the chill in the autumn air. After quickly grabbing a coffee from the van outside, I made my way into the park. It was quieter than last time, but as if on auto mode, I made my way back to the same bench.
A woman was already sitting there and she turned to smile at me when I took the space beside her. “Gorgeous day,” she commented with another smile.
I nodded, sipping my coffee and staring out to the water. “It is for so late in the year.”
She leaned across when I placed the books down beside me, and scanned which titles I had. “You like to read?”
I nodded again. “It’s my passion.” I blushed, feeling stupid, but she nodded eagerly.
“I love the classics, all the romance and the passion. I don’t think many writers can touch that level of emotion anymore. It’s all based around sex now, but I think us women like the odd touch of romance.”
“Although I agree and adore the way you need to read the classic books with your imagination open, I do think there are some good current authors hidden away. You just have to find them.”
She nodded and turned back to the water. She had the smallest nose I’d ever seen, her profile accentuated by the tiny upturn at the end, and her chestnut hair fell in waves down the back of her neck. I was slightly jealous of how thick and lustrous it was. My own red hair was unruly and would never stay where I put it.
“Do you believe in romance?” She was so quiet that I nearly missed her question.
Shaking my head, I sighed. “It’s only reserved for books.”
She studied me. “I met my husband in Paris. I’d just broken up from a long term relationship and I took myself off on my own.” She smiled, remembering. “It was Christmas. The snow was so thick, and it came down thicker and thicker until it proved difficult to walk in. I stepped out to cross the road and my foot slipped. And there he was, just like that. His hand shot out and he scooped me out of the way of a car that was driving much too fast.”
I smiled, engrossed in her story. Her face was animated and I could see the adoration in her eyes as she spoke of him.
“He bustled me into the nearest café to calm me down. He bought me tea and a cinnamon pastry.” She sighed, her eyes misting over as she turned back to the lake. “We spent the next four days together, and I knew right then that I would marry him. We came back to Britain and eight weeks later we were married.”
“That sounds exactly like it should be.”
“Have you anyone in your life right now?” Her question wasn’t reserved, nor was her expectant look.
I blinked, frowning at the lake. “It’s complicated.”
The smile that lit her face surprised me. “Good.”
“Good?”
She laughed a little. “That means you haven’t given up. Complicated means that you’re willing to sort through the problem.”
I scoffed and took another sip of my coffee. “The problem is him. He’s not into me like I am him. I’m not sure there’s anything there to fight for.”
Her eyes saddened. “He’s worth the fight. Believe me. Men are much more complicated than women. They struggle with their feelings and it confuses them, holds them back.”
“Alice?”
I turned to see David standing beside the bench, looking down at me with a smile. He had a coffee in his hands and he spun the plastic cup round and round.
“Hey.” I smiled back although my gut clenched with nerves.
As if noticing my anxiousness, he sighed. “Can I join you?”
I wasn’t sure there was room, and it would be rude to ask the woman to budge up. “Uh….” I turned to show David there was no room but the bench beside me was empty.
I looked around for her, squinting against the sun to see where she was but the park was quite empty. David, ignoring my hesitation, slipped into the place the woman had been not seconds ago.
“We should talk, Alice.”
I didn’t like the tone of his voice and I tensed, preparing for what he had to say. “Should we?”
He scowled softly at me and tilted his head to the side. “You seem to be afraid of me.”
I clenched my jaw and looked out to the water. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“I didn’t understand why at first,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “So I did some digging.”
“Really?” I didn’t mean to sound so harsh and he winced slightly.
“Alice, my job is my job. It doesn’t come home with me. Whatever occurs in that prison stays there.”
I couldn’t help but scoff. “It’s a shame the residents don’t stay there.”
He sucked air through his teeth. “You do understand that I have no say over the cases of the inmates? They go to court. They come into my prison and serve their time. Occasionally, appeals are granted, but I have no say over that whatsoever. I’m not involved with each case, Alice. Whatever my opinion of the inmate makes no difference. I couldn’t grant someone release as much as I couldn’t sentence them to prison.”
I rubbed at my face, fatigue creeping up on me. “So you didn’t speak to Niall about me?”
“Of course not! He’s an inmate, Alice, not a friend. It’s rare I talk to each personally anyway. They are there to serve time for crimes they did, not gossip over tea and cakes.”
He stared at me genuinely, his eyes fixed firmly on mine so I could see the truth.
Eventually I nodded. “Okay.”
His grin made me chuckle. “Good. So now we can be friends?”
“Friends.” I smiled back and he tipped his coffee to my own.
“So, Janie tells me you’re coming along this weekend.”
“Yeah. Do I need to be aware of any initiation?”
He laughed. “They got you with that too, huh?”
I nodded and rolled my eyes. “I’m so gullible.”
“Then that makes two of us. But our monthly nights out are fun. It’ll do you good, and in turn, we’ll get to know you a bit more.”
Taking another sip of coffee I swung my eyes to him. “There’s nothing to know. Not now you know everything anyway.”
“I don’t know anything, Alice. Only what Niall’s papers told me, and that is pretty basic. There was nothing in there about you, only about what happened to your family.”
“What Niall did to my family, you mean?” I was suddenly angry, my fists clenching into balls as I glared at him. David put his hand over mine and squeezed.
“I am genuinely sorry. I can’t imagine losing my whole family like that. And from what I knew of Niall, he didn’t cope with the death of his son well.”
I snapped my eyes to him, his words surprising me. “What do you mean?”
He sighed and clenched his teeth together. “I shouldn’t have said anythi
ng. As much as I can’t discuss you in Dartmoor, I can’t discuss with you what happens in there.”
“You can’t just say something like that and then not explain it.”
He groaned and rubbed at his face. “All I’ll tell you is that when Niall first came in he was very withdrawn. He spent a lot of time in the chapel, and…”
“And?”
“Shit. I really shouldn’t be telling you this.” He twisted around until he was facing me, then taking my hand again he ran his thumb over my knuckles. “Niall tried to kill himself three times, Alice. He was referred to the prison psychologist and grief counsellor.”
“What the hell? How dare he grieve for our son? He took away my soul that day and I hope his own soul tortures him for the rest of his life.”
David gave me a sad smile. “I can’t tell you it will get easier, Alice, because I don’t know. But I’m sure your family would want you to live for them.”
I sagged in defeat. He didn’t understand. No one did. They all told me to carry on for the sake of my family, but what about me? Did they not think what I wanted? Why would I live for my family if I couldn’t live for myself? They were all hypocrites.
“Anyway, I have to get going. I’m on the late shift today.”
I nodded. “Well, I guess I’ll see you Saturday.”
Surprising me, he leaned down and placed a kiss to my forehead. I knew he felt me tense because I could feel him hesitate against me. But without saying anything, he walked away, throwing his coffee into the bin before rounding the corner to the car park.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about what David had told me. In one aspect I was angry Niall hadn’t made a proper job of his suicide attempt, but then I hoped he had to live the rest of his life with the guilt of what he had done. I physically ached for Josh every second of every day, but I prayed that Niall was tortured by what he had done.
I wasn’t a cruel person, nor was I vindictive, but it made me think of what I had promised my family the day I laid them to rest. Why should I wreak vengeance on a man who was obviously suffering by living? Why should I shorten the sentence he had given himself when he had committed my family to the cruellest, most painful death? To grant them peace, or to give myself peace? I knew that it was the latter, and that ached even more. What had a man that had loved me unconditionally turned me into?
Night Fires Page 9
