Anchor

by M. Mabie

  It made me sad that I’d missed out on time with her. Knowing Casey’s dad the way I did now, he definitely got his mischievousness from him. But I’d stand to bet he got his great big heart from her.

  Finally I got to a little box on the top shelf.

  It startled me actually. The box was yellow and embossed on the lid was a bumblebee. Chills ran down my arms. I blinked a few times to reassure myself I wasn’t imagining it. Maybe honeybee wasn’t just me. The box had to be a coincidence.

  I set it aside, deciding to go through it last. There was something about it that was a little haunting and a little magical too. I turned up the music on my iPod. Sure, it was probably nothing, but a voice inside told me to wait. It gave my imagination something to think about as I put the last of her clothes in the bags and made sure each shoebox had a pair inside. I hauled things to the basement and took some to the garage for easy loading to take to Goodwill.

  I’d been in there for hours, but the room was suddenly bare and wiped clean of someone having lived in it. There was a naked bed, the linens stripped and already hanging on the line to dry. The dresser empty of possessions and trinkets, most kept and set aside for future examination. All that was left was the box and me.

  Someone so vibrant and dear lived in that room, and even though she wasn’t my mom, I felt attached to her because of my love for Casey. In some respects, emptying her room was like losing her all over again. I could understand why Casey couldn’t bear to do it.

  My watch said it was almost five, so I decided to hold off on opening the box. The more I considered it, the more I thought Casey should open it. My instincts said it was personal, and I didn’t want to infringe on something that was dear to her without permission.

  After working on the room for most of the day, I carried the box and a bottle of water with me to the back yard in search of inspiration for what to whip up for dinner. Earlier, I’d noticed the tomatoes we’d replanted looking ripe, and as the strong smell of the basil entered my nose, it was almost decided for me. Margherita pizza was on the menu.

  I abandoned the box and my water on the patio wall. As I took the flagstone steps down to the garden, it was as if my stomach was leading me.

  The plants were thriving. Kind of like us, I guess. I’d taken a lot of pleasure tending to them and watching how well they grew. It was peaceful and gratifying to eat something you’d planted yourself. I understood why Deb had loved it so much.

  Absentmindedly, with my earbuds in, I plucked a cucumber, and a few peppers that were ready, then snagged a stubborn weed that had managed to escape me that morning. I danced around, shaking my ass to Madonna until I got to the end of the garden where the tomatoes were, and picked two that would be just perfect.

  This was my home.

  When I turned around my breath was stolen.

  On the patio, with his back toward me, Casey was on his knees, the small box beside him. My bare feet made short time from where I was to him, and I took the stone steps two at once. I ripped the buds from my ears and tossed the vegetables on the table quickly to see what was wrong.

  Then he looked up at me, through smiling tears he quickly wiped away. A hint of something shiny was in his hand.

  “Did you read this?” he asked quietly, holding a piece a paper.

  I crouched down beside him; my eyes searched his for what was happening.

  “No,” I said and then I saw the ring.

  This was real.

  He set the paper down, inched closer to me, and pressed a kiss to my lips, so fevered. So full of love it poured straight into my soul and doused any fear that had started to bloom from seeing him like that. His tongue swept across mine and he moaned, deepening the connection. Then, just as fast, he parted from me and pulled in a lungful of air and exhaled through his mouth.

  “I think you’re supposed to stand up for this,” he said sweetly and gave me the most gorgeous smile.

  Casey was an extremely good-looking man. Captivating even. But I don’t think I’d ever seen that expression before. It seemed to be filled with adoration, vulnerability, peace, sincerity, and naked love. Stripped bare and honest, just for me.

  In all my life, I’ll never forget it.

  My heart leapt first, bringing me to my feet. My body, as always, obeying his every command. As I stood above, my fingers found their way into the back of his hair and his arm wrapped around my legs.

  Then he spoke. “Here goes nothing. Oh. I’m nervous.” The levity of his humility and the joy in his laugh confirmed that this was it.

  “I love you, Casey.”

  “I love you, honeybee. So much. And there were times I thought I’d love you alone for the rest of my life. Loving you forever would have happened whether I got to keep you or not.

  “My love for you owns me. It consumes me. It makes me reckless and sane, with it I’m both weaker and stronger than I’d ever be without it. And you love me too. I see it in your eyes when you say it. The proof is in your touch. I was made to make you happy. To protect you. To keep you satisfied.

  “I want you to be my wife, I want to be the father of your children. I want to remind you every day that we have something so special it feels blessed. It’s torture and terrifying to love someone this much. And the miracle of you loving me back, I’ll never take for granted.

  “Will you please let me be yours—your best friend, your partner, your man, and your husband? Will you please make every fantasy I’ve ever had come true and marry me?”

  “I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life.”

  He stood and held the ring between his trembling fingers. Automatically, I gave him my left hand. He slid it over my ring finger and, like it was meant to be, it fit. I didn’t even have time to study it. He wrapped me up in his arms.

  In that very second, where I’d thought I’d given my heart to him before, I stood corrected. Because, as a trade for the ring on my hand, I unconditionally gave him my heart and soul.

  Desire flooded every cell in my body. It had never felt that strong. That powerful. That tangible. I was in his arms and holding on to him with everything I had. How was it that even after he’d just given me everything I ever wanted, I wanted more?

  Casey carried me through the door—vegetables forgotten, box forgotten—and pushed me up against the wall in the kitchen. He’d just claimed my heart and now I craved for him to claim my body.

  His breath in my ear, he pawed at my flesh as his hips ground into me. My legs held tightly to him, wrapping around and locking at his strong back. I broke away to tear off my shirt.

  He looked hungry. He looked ravenous. He looked like he was about to rip my skin from my bones to feast on my soul. And it was all his for the taking. Forever. Without any hesitation.

  He moved us quickly to the island and lifted my ass to perch me there, needing his hands to wander where they pleased.

  Pleased him.

  Pleased me.

  Pleased the universe and every god of love and lust and all the other gods who watched.

  He cupped my breasts and rained kisses on my neck. Each one seared his invisible brand on my body.

  “How, after all of this time, do I want you this bad? This much?” he panted.

  It was as forceful as he’d been with me since … since before my divorce.

  I’d missed his possessive touch. How much it excited me when he was carried away with desire and pleasure. The way his body teased my body to the point of begging. His natural dominance. The unapologetic way he made me buckle under his control. Always gentle with his power over me, and even more so lately. He’d backed off so far I’d forgotten how it felt to be his.

  All the way.

  Like this.

  I wanted to give him everything. I wanted to be what he craved.

  I’d said yes to being his, but I already belonged to him. It wasn’t about conceding my will to his, it was knowing I had a will to give. That I was a whole woman. That I was his whole honeybee.

&n
bsp; “Then have me,” I breathed. “Have all of me.”

  He moaned, biting at my nipple through my bra. His eyes caught mine and I smiled. I wanted reassurance. That’s the thing about dominance. If they’re worthy of it, they don’t take it. They wait for you to blissfully hand it over.

  My hand raked through his hair and held tight.

  “You don’t have to treat me like glass.”

  His hands slid up my back and unclasped my bra. Then he tossed it to the side. Casey lifted me and pulled my yoga pants off in one fluid motion. Every move he made felt calculated and spontaneous at the same time, triggering sensations from every corner of my willing body.

  “You have to tell me what you want. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he said in my ear in the sexiest timbre. Then he moved my face to look at him and added, “Because I want to fuck the living shit out of you on this very counter. Then I want to take a shower and do it again and again, until either I die from an overdose of you or you say stop.”

  His words broke chains I’d tied around myself. Like only he could, he gave me what I needed. We traded trust. I trusted he would only love my body and he trusted I was ready for whatever he’d give me. And as my thirst for him grew, any residual pain I’d been hiding departed.

  There’s not much sexier than watching the love of your life lick two of his most capable fingers as he simultaneously unbuckled his belt with his free hand. Especially if the love of your life was Casey Moore. And lucky for me … he was.

  I pulled his shirt over his head and he shook a long errant curl from his face. Inspiration hit me and I pulled the elastic from my hair and gathered the locks that seemed to be in his way. I gave him a ponytail as his two wet fingers found my center. He smiled once he learned the lick he’d given them was unnecessary.

  I was wet. As usual. I was aching. More than ever. I was ready in every possible way.

  Consume me.

  With one arm he pulled me closer to the edge of the counter and I watched the muscle on his other arm flex as he grabbed his erection. Unlike the many other times where he’d stroke himself at my opening, he dove right in, and the sensation sent a spike of excitement to my core.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He rushed my mouth and I invited him in. A kiss that could rival any kiss in history. His jaw working a rhythm that matched his hips. My head tipped back when my focus left and became incandescent with the rest of me.

  His tongue slid down my throat as I lay back against the cold counter.

  “Mmm,” he moaned, “it’s going to be a pleasure making you come for the rest of my life, honeybee.”

  My chest rose and fell in quick succession as his pace quickened, the motion causing my breasts to sway. Like so many times before, I became wanton. Possessed. Only needing the releases that were imminent, both his and mine. Pure bliss streamed from my body to his and back like a current along a high-voltage line.

  I watched him as he hypnotically gazed at where we joined. His eyes fell shut and his teeth sunk into his lip.

  “Ahh,” spilled from my lips.

  Blue-green eyes snapped open and locked on mine, familiar with my sounds. One strong hand held onto my hip baring white knuckles, and his other hand swiftly came up to my clit. I watched, prepared for the sensuous touch he'd practiced so many times. But instead I felt a gentle tap and then another.

  Then I was blinded with ecstasy as my orgasm unexpectedly skipped from slowly building to screaming in my ears.

  I still needed more.

  “Casey,” I cried. “Fuck me. Harder, Casey.” My hands gripped the edge of the counter and pushed back against him.

  He leaned over and climbed atop the island with me, swinging my legs over his shoulders before he grabbed the edge of the granite behind my head and set a punishing tempo. It almost made me lose my mind. I clenched around him and rode a climax that felt like it may never let up.

  “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he chanted until he yelled, “I’m coming! So hard. Ahh.” He emptied himself inside me, his eyes screwed shut, and I watched as sweat ran down his beautiful face and fell on my lip.

  He opened his eyes and like nothing had happened, as if we hadn’t just left the stratosphere, mischief and happiness bloomed across his face.

  When the second drop of sweat landed on my raw lips, I licked it and said, “Mmm.”

  I felt him twitch one last time inside me, and it made me giggle. I loved him so completely, without reservation. That would never change.

  Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  I LOVED TO WATCH her. How she moved. I adored Blake. That would never change.

  I tried to memorize her every move, her beautiful ass swaying in the moonlight as she walked to the kitchen for water. The siren wore nothing but my engagement ring. It was the sexiest thing I‘d ever seen.

  The ring.

  It was still messing with my head. How had my mother done that? How could she have possibly known? It was fucking trippy.

  When I came home and saw Blake bopping around out back, I was drawn to her. When I saw the box on the stonewall cap, curiosity got the best of me. It was more than that though; my neck was in a collar and curiosity held the leash.

  It was yellow. There was a bee on it. What the fuck?

  First I’d thought Blake bought it or it was hers, and allowing the wonder to take over, I wanted to see what was in it. It was larger than a ring box, so I wasn’t expecting what I found. When I lifted the lid, I noticed an envelope. After running my hands over it, I felt the ring inside.

  To Casey, for your honeybee in my mother’s perfect penmanship, brought me to my knees. I opened the envelope and examined the ring. A gorgeous, yellow diamond maybe? There were small, perfectly clear diamonds framing it, and the silver band shone like it had been bought that very day. The same day I’d been everywhere looking for the perfect ring—not taking a bike ride. After searching and not finding the right one, for so long, having it presented to me like that, from her, well it mystified me. There was something so right, so predestined about it.

  Along with the ring inside the parchment envelope was a letter. I’d only read just a line or two when Blake discovered me standing there. There was no time to finish. I didn’t want to wait another second to ask her.

  I’d rehearsed the right thing to say. Fuck, I’d googled proposals. The time I spent looking for the ring added so much pressure for it to be just perfect. Not pressure from her, but from myself.

  As I lay there in bed, waiting on my fiancée, I smiled knowing it was better than I could have ever planned. The look on her face was a mixture of elation and relief. Now I know why those YouTube assholes hire a video guy. Because when you really love a woman, you want to be able to watch that shit over and over. I’d never get to relive that moment, but I had the feeling there would be plenty more just as precious in our future.

  And I’d watch her face light up knowing we were always on a course bound for forever together.

  “What took you so long?” I asked when she climbed back into bed and turned on the nightstand lamp.

  “Sorry, I was damn thirsty.”

  “Screaming like a banshee will do that,” I teased.

  “I’m glad your neighbors aren’t that close,” she admitted as a blush stained her cheeks.

  I’d made good on my promise earlier. And then some. It turns out, proposals really turn me on. Or maybe her wearing my ring was the reason for the raging boner that wouldn’t go down. Don’t they say on those commercials to call a doctor after four hours? To hell with it. I hadn’t seen a doctor to get that hard, so I wasn’t calling one to make it go away. My dick knew what it was doing and that bastard was celebrating. All night.

  Then I saw what else she had. The letter.

  “Casey, the envelope says to you for me?” Leaning against the headboard, with no covers hiding her boobs, mind you, she stared at it mesmerized like I had. I stared at her boobs. She asked, “Casey, did you call all your girlfriends ‘honeybee’?”
Her jaw hung open like she’d seen behind the curtain at Oz.

  I threw an arm around her and pulled her farther down into the bed with me. She didn’t protest, only gazed into my eyes. In the time I hadn’t answered her silly question, her mind had played a trick on her.

  “No.” I kissed that cute nose and locked my leg with one of hers. “You’re my first, only, and last honeybee. Now kiss on me a little.”

  The redundant answer pleased her; her kiss pleased me. We were two pleased-as-pie fools tangled in all-nighter sheets. Half ripped off the mattress, half wadded on the floor.

  Blake looked like a queen when she beamed at me the way she was. Well, a queen with mascara under her eyes and completely fucked-up hair. I’m sure I looked just as good.

  “Can I read it?” she asked sweetly, as she looked at the ring. “This was in there?” Her hand rocked side to side as the gem made a pretty reflection dance on the ceiling. We both watched the prism move, enchanted and love-drunk.

  “You can read it, but are you sure you want to read it right now?” I asked as I rocked into her leg. Remember, it wasn’t me. It was my cock. And he was ready to go again. I was really starting to respect his work ethic.

  She wasn’t helping the situation though. Her mouth found my ear and she sucked at it.

  “Please?” she purred.

  I would cave. She had the power to will me into whatever she wanted. All she had to say was ‘please.’

  “Okay, read it to me,” I acquiesced.

  “Thank you.”

  We sat up and I positioned her between my legs so I could peer over her shoulder. I propped my head in the crook of her neck and waited for her to start.

  “Son, I’ve been fortunate to be your mom. You have the most beautifully wild heart. Charm for days and this magnetic quality that makes everyone immediately love you. I’m so proud. It’s been my pleasure to watch you thrive and succeed. You and your brother have made me a very lucky mother. It’s been the biggest gift of my life watching you turn into the men you are. I was blessed to see Cory find his love and, whether you know it yet or not, I know you’ve found yours, too. It’s not my intention, or my style, to pry when it’s not my business. But I’ve met her. Your Blake. Once at Micah’s baby shower and again when Foster was born. The glow that poured out of her when she said she knew you, Casey, it was love. You’d be like a lock and key the way you two would fit together. Her energy felt the same as how it feels to be with you. It might not be the right time, and maybe you’ll have to wait, but son, she’s the one.