What Remains

by Sarah Brocious

  He bit his lip in thought. His head tilted at an adorable angle and then his eyes lit. “Cheers to the new Max and Hadley. May we keep the good parts of our past and create even better parts for our future.”

  I smiled. “I’ll drink to that.” We sipped together.

  We looked out on the lake. He had moved closer to me and I liked his nearness.

  “Thank you for this, Max.” I didn’t look his way, just kept my eyes on the water. “You don’t know how heavy I felt when I returned home. I was defeated.” I smiled. “This helps.”

  His shoulder nudged mine. “So I was right to tell you the truth?”

  I nodded. “I probably wouldn’t be here at the moment if you hadn’t.” Okay, that was a lie. There was something about Max that I probably would have given in anyway. I was drawn to him. I was comfortable with him, even when my heart was beating itself to death. He was comfort and he was excitement.

  “I’m sorry you were hurt in all this,” he said softly.

  “It’s life,” I whispered.

  He shook his head. “Not the life I wanted for you. Not the life I wanted for myself...for us.”

  I leaned my shoulder into his, feeling too shy to look up at him now. “But look what happened for you. You have Mady. You are a successful owner of the repair shop…the café. You still get to work on beautiful cars and have the respect of the town.

  He reached for my hand and I let his long fingers twine with mine. “It’s missing you.”

  I pulled in a breath.

  “I wish I had done more to convince you to stay.” His fingers squeezed gently. “You wouldn’t have had to go through what you did.”

  His words warmed my heart, but I didn’t need him to feel guilty for what happened. I forced myself to meet his gaze. “My life wasn’t all bad. There were some good moments with Logan, too.” I nervously sipped my wine and then shrugged. “And things may not be perfect for me yet.” I squeezed his fingers back. “But things are looking up for me.” I watched his face for a reaction.

  He took a drink and cleared his throat after he swallowed. His eyes flicked over my face and then down at the ground. “Have you heard from Logan?”

  I was surprised at the question, but realized that I had brought my ex into the conversation. “I haven’t even turned my phone on,” I admitted. “He hasn’t called the house, so…I don’t know.” I snuggled deeper into my hoodie. “What would that matter?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just...he was your…your uh…”

  “My husband,” I half laughed. “Yes, I know.”

  He looked uncomfortable. “Being with someone so long, though, sometimes it’s hard to let go.” He shrugged.

  I got him. My heart actually softened for him. “I’m good, Max. I have no desire to see that man ever again.” I looked down in my cup. “He cheated on me,” I said softly. “More than once.” I rolled my shoulders. “I should have left after the first, but I was stupid…”

  He swore and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re stupid?” He drank down the rest of his wine, tossed his cup on the blanket, and then leaned in. I had nowhere to look but at him. His nearness warmed my body. It was that and the wine. But mostly him.

  “Look at you, Hadley.” His fingers grasped my chin gently. “You are still that sweet gentle girl I remember. You have a sharper tongue and more curves than I before, but you’re still you.” He sighed out a breath. “Any man who has you should get down on his knees and thank the Lord above every hour on the hour that you chose him.” He swore again and half smiled. “That guys a dick.”

  I almost laughed at the fervency he said his last sentence, but it was the sentences before that had my tongue-tied. And he believed every word he’d just said.

  “You hear me?” His fingers traced a trail up my jaw and into my hair. He tugged gently. “Hadley?”

  I gave a small nod.

  “Then don’t ever say you’re stupid in front of me. Got it?”

  “Got it,” I whispered.

  He smiled and tugged my hair again. He looked so pleased with himself and that crooked grin appeared. “Good.”

  It was then that his phone started ringing. It startled us both and he fumbled into the pocket of his shirt to pull it forth. He chuckled and showed me the phone. It was home. “Madeline probably,” he sighed.

  “Go ahead,” I smiled.

  He answered on speaker. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

  “Daddy, I can’t sleep. Grandma said I could call you.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Sorry, Max, she can’t be consoled,” a voice in the background called out.

  “It’s okay, mom,” he chuckled.

  “Daddy, the monster is back and Grandma doesn’t know how to scare him,” she lamented in her tiny voice.

  “That guys back again?” Max growled.

  “We should go,” I said softly. I reached for my jeans and slipped them on as he gave a nod.

  “I’m sleepy, daddy.”

  He chuckled. “So, fight that monster.”

  “No,” she cried. “I’m just little!”

  “You’re little, but you’re tough,” he argued.

  “I can’t,” she lamented.

  I set our cups back in the cooler and pushed the cork back into the bottle. He was watching me and gave me an apologetic smile.

  “What do you want me to do?” he asked the child.

  A sniffle was heard over the phone. “I think you should finish kissing Hadley and come scare the monster away.”

  I laughed out loud, slapping my hand over my mouth. I didn’t want to hurt the child’s feelings. But where was she getting all this kissing knowledge?

  “Well, Hadley didn’t let me kiss her, so I’m done.” He gave me a wink.

  “Kay, Daddy, then hurry up and get home.”

  “Will do, doll,” he said softly and hung up.

  I smiled, now standing, waiting with my towel.

  “I’m sorry,” he sighed.

  “Max, she’s your daughter. It’s okay. I understand. She should come first. I would think you a jerk if you didn’t drop everything for her. I like this side of you.”

  He grinned up at me. “Yeah?”

  “You’re a good father, Max.”

  He got to his feet and came to stand before me. He gently drew me near. “Yeah?”

  I looked up at him and loved the softness of his eyes. My thoughts scurried about, but I managed not to succumb to their magic. “You love her. You want to protect her.”

  “You’re okay with a boring dad?” He rubbed my arms gently.

  “It’s kind of sexy,” I admitted.

  His eyes lit and he grinned. “Yeah?”

  Lifting up on my toes, I kissed the stubble of his chin. “Yeah,” I said softly and started for the Shelby. “Now, we have to get you home. You have to be a superhero tonight and scare away some monsters!”

  “Daddy’s work is never done,” he chuckled, hefted the cooler onto his shoulder, and followed after me.

  Chapter 9 Missed Messages

  I awoke the next morning with two feelings warring with one another. I closed my eyes again and pulled my pillow closer, but I could not escape them.

  The first was Max. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to continue working on this new connection we were having. I liked the idea of starting over and learning one another. I liked this grown up Max. He still had enough boy in him to be playful, but he was definitely mature and surer of himself than ever.

  I wished I could say that much about myself. I for sure was not the same girl, but life had done a hell of a job on my confidence.

  My other warring issue was staring me right in my face from its nightstand perch. My cellphone. The light was bright and green, telling me it was fully charged, but I had yet to turn it on. I scowled at it now. A piece of technology that was supposed to be convenient was very much complicating my life.

  I felt that if I left it off, I would not have to deal with tha
t side of me. I could push Logan’s memory and existence into a black void and continue doing what I had been doing the last days. But I couldn’t. I had to be a mature adult and be done with this for good. Logan’s family lived in my neighborhood. I would one day have to face him. I should deal with these issues right now.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned on my cell and waited for the familiar buzzes and chirps that associated messages, emails, missed calls and voicemail. I was not disappointed. They rolled in seconds after.

  I braced myself and started reading through the texts. There were dozens and all from Logan. We weren’t even together and his insistence on respect was unnerving.

  The started out as a warning, and then quickly turned desperate with pleadings of forgiveness.

  If someone wants you so much, why would they ever do what he had done? No, his repentance and his request of forgiveness were not genuine. He would do it all again given the chance. I would forgive him, but I was done with him.

  And then his final texts caught my eye.

  - You went home? I would have taken you!

  -How did I know you would hook up with Max again?

  -Why aren’t you answering me?

  -Are you sleeping with him?

  -I need to know what’s going on! Answer your phone!

  -Call me!

  -Fine, I’m on my way

  My hands shook as I stared at the last text. I looked desperately for the date sent. It was day before yesterday. There were three voicemails, so I dialed and entered my code. The first two were rants and an admission that it was his mom who let him know I was home; had called that. And his final voicemail made me groan with frustration.

  “Hadley, I’m coming home. You and I need to talk. I miss you. I’m man enough to admit it pisses me off that you are near and around Max.” He swore vehemently. “Hell, I’m jealous! Does that make you feel good? And I swear…if he’s touched you…” He went off on another torrent of expletives.

  My hand was shaking as I hit end. So much for divorce. He still felt like he owned me and could control me. And now he was coming home? When?

  I didn’t need this in my life. I buried my head in my hands. There was a knock on my bedroom door and I glanced up as Terry’s voice came from the other side.

  “Can I come in Ley?”

  “Yes,” I called, trying to calm myself so my voice didn’t shake.

  He walked in and his face immediately fell. So much for my mask. “What happened?” He came to sit beside me on the bed.

  I wanted to lie or deny that anything was wrong, but I couldn’t, not with my brother. I handed him my phone so that he could read through the texts. He growled through them, calling Logan every imaginable name. And then he was on his feet once I let him hear the message.

  “He comes here and I will knock the guy flat. Ley, he’s no longer your husband. You don’t have to put up with this, understand? I don’t care if his family lives here. He stays away from you.”

  I stared down at my hands.

  “I’m talking to dad, and Max is going to hear about this, too.”

  My head shot up and I shook my head. “Terry, no. Max doesn’t need to be involved in this.”

  “Sure he does,” my brother shouted. “He loves you, Ley, and there’s this scum who stole you from him the first time, threatening you. He’s threatening Max…so, yeah, he’s gonna hear about this.” Terry’s dark eyes flashed in anger.

  “Terry, please,” I whispered.

  He immediately softened at the appearance of my tears and came to sit beside me again. He put his arm around me again. “Ley, you’re my baby sister and I’m going to protect you from this. You went all these years protecting yourself.” He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry about that, but you don’t have to do it anymore. You’ve got us now.”

  I smiled weakly. “I just thought he was behind me.”

  “He is. This is just a road bump. He is seeing whom he let go. And it kills him that you are capable of moving on. He’s seeing you are ending up where you were supposed to in the first place.”

  I shook my head. “And where is that?”

  “With Max,” he said gently.

  “I’m not…I’m not with Max,” I stuttered. “We’re just hanging out and getting reacquainted.”

  Terry chuckled and patted my arm. “What ever, sister. I talked to Max last night.” He got up and moved to the door. “And that man is in love with you.”

  I gave him a curious look.

  “Mom wants you to know breakfast is on. I’m heading to the shop.” He grinned at my look. “What?”

  “Max isn’t in love with me,” I argued.

  Terry rolled his eyes. “The hell he’s not.” He opened the door. “He never stopped being in love with you, and you love him, too. Stop playing.”

  I wanted to gasp in outrage and argue the point, but he was already through the door and closing it behind him.

  I laid my head back on my pillow and stared up at the ceiling. My brain began to go over every possible scenario in which I would have to deal with Logan. I didn’t favor any of them. Reluctantly, I crawled out of bed.

  I took my time getting ready to go down the stairs. I wasn’t needed at the café until lunch. I really didn’t want to face my dad knowing Terry would have relayed the information to him. When I made my appearance, he was in his chair with the paper. A cup of coffee rested on the table before him.

  I smiled at my mom, who set a plate before me. It was warm. She had set it in the oven to keep it so until I arrived. “Thanks, mom.” She leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

  So, she knew, too.

  My dad set his paper down and gave me a long look.

  “Terry told you.”

  He nodded. “I just have one question,” he whispered. “Do you want to talk to him?”

  I sighed and picked at my food with a fork. “Might be best to defuse his anger. I know how to talk to Logan.”

  “I hate that you can say that,” he spoke angrily. “It means you’ve had to calm him before? Has he hurt you, Hadley?”

  I lifted my shoulder. “Nothing bad, and rarely physical,” I whispered. My dad flinched and I hurried past that. “He mostly just gets loud and arrogant.”

  My dad reached for my hand. “I will kick his sorry self to kingdom come if you ask me to.”

  I smiled into the warm brown eyes that were so much like my own and shook my head. “I appreciate that, Dad, but not necessary.”

  My mom set a cup of coffee before me and sat in the seat across the table. “We could have him for dinner so that we are in a neutral spot. I would feel better if Terry and your dad were here to protect you. Not all by yourself.”

  I nodded. That sounded really good.

  “I’m going to call him,” I said softly. “I don’t want him just showing up here.” I took a bite of toast, feeling better already. Terry was right; I didn’t have to do this on my own anymore.

  I’d call Logan after breakfast and then distract myself working at the café.

  “Is he in town yet?” My mother still sounded worried.

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure when he planned on arriving or if he was just blowing smoke. I will find out more,” I promised.

  My dad reached over to tug my ponytail. “We’re gonna put this all behind ya, Hadley.” He smiled. “New start for you.”

  “Or going back to the start line,” my mom teased.

  I knew she was talking about Max. I shook my head at her.

  “I’m a hopeless romantic, sweetheart,” she laughed. “No amount of denying the facts is going to dissuade me.”

  I shoveled food in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to answer her.

  “You going to see him again soon?”

  I swallowed and grinned. “Small town…probably,” I said sarcastically.

  “You know what I mean.” My mom threw a napkin at me.

  I suddenly felt shy, but nodded. “I want to see him again.”

  My mom looked q
uite pleased. “And Madelyn? You like her, too? I saw you guys walking home together yesterday.”

  I nodded my assent. “Max is a good dad. There’s something beautiful about that.” I saw my dad wince and slapped his hand.

  “How about you just stay single for awhile?” He shrugged. “The next decade or so…”

  I laughed. “Dad.”

  He sighed heavily. “I suppose if I were to choose for you to hang out with anyone, it would be Max.” He shook his head and went back to his paper.

  His words made me smile. “Thanks, Daddy.”

  Chapter 10 Protected

  “You need to slow down, Hadley girl!”

  I glanced up at my grey-haired employer and smile sheepishly. I had been running on all cylinders today. I had broken a plate, burned my hand, cut a finger, and spilled more than a few drops of coffee. I was doing everything in my power to keep my mind still, but my body was not cooperating.

  I had called Logan right after breakfast, but only got voice mail. I had no way of knowing where he was. He could be home already and that thought upset me greatly.

  “You okay?”

  I smiled. “I am. I’m just distracted,” I admitted.

  “Not going to say I mind a worker that puts herself on full blast,” Mrs. Winston chuckled. “But its like you are set to run yourself into the ground.”

  “No, “ I argued. “I’m okay.”

  The older woman didn’t look convinced. “Ana will cover the counter if you need to go home.”

  As if on cue, Ana sidled up to the counter. “Sure I will,” she agreed and gave me a look of concern. “You okay today, Hadley?”

  I set down the rag I’d been cleaning the counter with and leaned in so that I didn’t have to advertise my words to the entire café. “Logan is home, or may be heading home.”

  Ana frowned. “Why would he do that?”

  As if on cue, Max entered the café with my brother. My heart did a stutter stop. “Afternoon, ladies.”

  I lifted my brow, but Ana was already getting the picture. No explanation was necessary.