The Lion Tamer Who Lost
Page 30
‘I know where this scene came from, you see,’ he explains. ‘I once told your Uncle Andrew about the first time I decided I wanted to go and help the lions in Africa. There was this documentary where the last shot was of two young lions lumbering into freedom against this dusty land and yellow sky.’
Ben is sure for a moment that he smells Andrew. It often happens, and is so powerful that he always turns, sure he’ll be standing right behind him. No one there. The scent gone as soon as it began.
He looks back at Heidi.
In her, Andrew will go on. His mother will go on. Anne will go on. Ben pictures a scene so vivid it feels like a memory. He sees himself, perhaps ten years from now, and a little girl with hair like the angels in those Botticelli paintings standing on his feet while he clumsily dances.
‘I know Andrew was thinking of what I told him when he wrote this ending.’ Ben pauses. ‘I guess you can understand why I like it so much? Listen, you stay asleep, and I’ll try and do it right. Here we go…’
Ben reads the last page.
The lioness let her cub go. She didn’t want to. She knew what danger lurked in the shadows. But she also knew that a lifetime without fight was a lifetime without purpose.
The cub ambled at first, like a newborn. All around, the horizon hummed with heat and gold. So many golds; sun, cub, sand, lioness, sun, savanna, cub, forever. The mother felt sad; her cub looked sad. Because we all want to stay in the place we’re loved. But love goes with us – it is light and has easy-to-grip handles and needs no passport.
The mother knew this secret.
So she called out to her daughter – ‘Run, run, run.’
The cub heard the words even when she was far away from her. She heard the words wherever she went. Because she had learned that when it seems like there is nothing, that’s when you most appreciate everything. That you never dance alone, you are always dancing on the bigger feet of those who loved you first.
Acknowledgments
Thanks to Dean Wilson (Hull’s fourth best poet and my first best), to my beloved sisters Grace and Claire, and to John Marrs (Northampton’s Thomas Harris and Barbara Cartland rolled into one) for being my very first beta readers. You all brought something different, and equally helpful.
Thanks to Michael Mann, Liam Asplen, Julian Lugar and Paul Bennett for answering some of my probing questions as part of the research.
Thanks to StrangeDaze for the daze at WF – remember when this was a short story?
Thank you to Helen Jn Pierre (Cushion Lady!) and Dave the Cake Man for all your endless support. To Liz Robinson at Love Reading for absolutely everything. To Deirdre O’Brien and Nina Pottell for the reviews that made my year. To Anne Cater for your endless and eternal support. To Fiona Mills for interviewing me so many times, and Pete Mills for the interviews. To Carrie Martin for being my musical sidekick. To Janet Harrison for taking care of my very precious How To Be Brave notes. And to my new pal Mr Gravy, or Mart, or @laughinggravy on Twitter. Thank you for the incredible support all year!
Lots of love and thanks also to Mel Hewitt, Madeleine Black, Vicky Bramble, Sussi Louise Smith, Mary Picken, Sue Bond, Abby Fairbrother, Katherine at Bibliomaniac, Cath @whatcathyreadnext, Ann Bonny Book Reviews, Suspense Thrill, It’s All About the Books, Steph’s Book Blog, Shotsmag, DampPebbles, The Book Trail, Jaffa Reads Too, The Book Magnet, Hayley’s Book Blog, Bloomin’ Brilliant Books, Thoughts from a Highly Caffeinated Mind, Book Literati, Jo Robertson, If Only I Could Read Faster, Ali the Dragon Slayer, The Writing Garnet, Anne Williams, Victoria Goldman, The Book Review Café, Blue Book Balloon, Portobello Book Blog, Liz Loves Books, Claire Knight, Noelle Holten, Short Book and Scribes, Books of all Kinds, Chocolate ‘n’ Waffles Blog, @WalesCrazy, Leah Moyse, Earl Grey and Cupcakes, Have Books Will Read, Karen at My Reading Corner, Susan Hampson, Beady Jan, Crime By The Book, Lisa Adamson, The Misstery, The Wrong Side of Forty, Rae Reads, Sue Featherstone, Emma Mitchell, Paige Turner, Trip Fiction, Hair Past a Freckle, Jen Med, Novel Gossip, Swirl and Thread, Follow the Hens, Joy Kluver, Ronnie Turner, Sharon Bairden, What Kathy Read Next, Novel Delights, The Quiet Knitter, Linda Hill, The Hazardous Hippo, Sarah Hardy, Mrs Bloggs’ Books, Cheryl M-M’s Book Blog, Over the Rainbow Book Blog, Janet Emson, Nat Marshall, and Tony Hill.
Always a shout out to #BeechsBitches – you all know who you are!
A big up to my Women of Words girls – Vicky, Cass, Lynda, Michelle and Julie – I love you all!
To the Newbald Book Group – the very best in Yorkshire. Homemade soup, bread, wine, and words – what more could anyone want?
Thanks to the Book Connectors on Facebook, where I learn so much from so many bloggers and readers.
Great thanks to the Prime Writers gang; my go-to place for writerly discussion and support!
I can’t forget to mention THE Book Club (TBC) on Facebook, and Tracy Tits Fenton, who is a whirlwind of force in the book world, for the laughs, the recommendations, and the friends.
And last but DEFINITELY not least, in fact the MOST … thank you again to my friend and publisher Karen Sullivan for believing in me, supporting me, and (ha ha) loving me! West Camel, you ain’t bad either, and do a grand edit.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Louise Beech is an exceptional literary talent, whose debut novel How To Be Brave was a Guardian Readers’ Choice for 2015. The sequel, The Mountain in My Shoe was shortlisted for Not the Booker Prize. Maria in the Moon was compared to Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine, and widely reviewed. All three books have been number one on Kindle, Audible and Kobo in USA/UK/AU. She regularly writes travel pieces for the Hull Daily Mail, where she was a columnist for ten years. Her short fiction has won the Glass Woman Prize, the Eric Hoffer Award for Prose, and the Aesthetica Creative Works competition, as well as shortlisting for the Bridport Prize twice and being published in a variety of UK magazines. Louise lives with her husband and children on the outskirts of Hull and loves her job as a Front of House Usher at Hull Truck Theatre, where her first play was performed in 2012.
Follow Louise on Twitter @LouiseWriter and visit her website: louisebeech.co.uk.
Copyright
Orenda Books
16 Carson Road
West Dulwich
London SE21 8HU
www.orendabooks.co.uk
First published in the United Kingdom by Orenda Books 2018
Copyright © Louise Beech 2018
Louise Beech has asserted her moral right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publishers.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978–1–912374–29–8
eISBN 978–1–912374–30–4
For sales and distribution, please contact info@orendabooks.co.uk