Carpe Diem

by Michael Loring

you there.”

  James frowned. “What's the point of that? I have to ask it to show me a memory that I consciously already know of? That's just stu-”

  “What I say about going against me?” Bud's smile seemed to turn a bit scarier as he turned to James, cutting off his sentence.

  “Sorry...” James muttered. “So...just ask for a memory?”

  Bud nodded. “Yup.”

  James breathed out his nose and scaled his mind for a request. “How about...the first time Annie and I had sex?”

  Just then, his head swirled, and he lurched backwards as he was transported to another plane. The same nausea hit him, but he kept his balance. In seconds, he was back in that Corvette sitting next to Annie Spruce, his first wife and possibly the only woman to truly satisfy him.

  They were kissing. It was like being in a dream. He knew what was going to happen, and was experiencing it all over again, but couldn't do anything of his own free will. He imagined himself pulling back and looking at his younger face, but couldn't and continued to undress his woman.

  She was warm; he could feel it by her touch. She moaned and groaned under him, as he twisted and turned above her. This was a brand new experience all over again for James, as if all the other times he'd done this had melted away and he was re-learning the moves. It was exhilarating, intoxicating, and wondrous all at the same time. This was the peak of his whole life, and James wished it would never end.

  Unfortunately, it did. James was suddenly yanked back to reality and found himself standing in front of the tree with his hand still placed on the bark. He felt his whole body tremble, for the sensation of his first time still lingered. He had to catch himself lest he fall over the edge.

  “Fun, huh?” Bud laughed, watching him from a short distance.

  James breathed deeply, wiping away a few beads of sweat from his head, only to wonder how certain body functions still worked after death.

  “That was...amazing.” James breathed, pulling back his hand.

  “Give it another go.” Bud urged.

  James hesitated. “Uh, no that's fine. I'm convinced.”

  “Go on!” Bud pressed, giving a thumbs up with both hands.

  James frowned in uncertainty. What should he relive? What, in all of his life, would he want to experience again?

  Something came.

  “Can I go back to graduation?”

  The smell of lush green grass and the smell of a streaming river filled his lungs instantly. He was back in Miami, surrounded by his family and friends who were all congratulating him. He was wearing his blue garment along with his cap, holding in his hand a High School Diploma.

  James, 18, stood outside his old school. His mother and father were by his side, smiling proudly and patting him on the shoulder. On the other side were his friends, all wearing the same clothing and holding similar documents.

  He remembers thinking I did it! and smiling widely, squaring his shoulders. Annie was off to the side, winking at him. Promises for later.

  James wrung his arms around his friends and posed for the graduate photo. The picture was taken, and would be documented forever as the happiest moment in James' life.

  James returned to the tree, staring blankly at the bark, a sense of hollowness inside of him.

  Those moments were over. They had been over for some time. After graduation, James had asked Annie to marry him, to which she said yes. He did only half the time of college before being expelled for disorderly conduct. Annie finished and got her degree in Theater, leaving him behind to pursue a career in acting – to which she was mildly successful.

  After that he got a miserable job, in a miserable part of town, with miserable people. He went nowhere, but didn't curse his luck. He was content in life, for he had friends and a second wife.

  Sydney Marshall was his lawyer in his divorce. She comforted him, and they eventually got married. It was a rather brief marriage, for she was a big time lawyer and he was a low-factory worker. She soon found someone more successful and left.

  And now, James was dead. Leaving behind a legacy of crushed dreams and worthless trinkets. Who would inherit his house? Probably a friend or sibling. Hell, maybe Sydney may take it. They had bought the house together, so it was partially hers anyway. She may sell it for extra pocket money.

  Bitch.

  James was brought out of his reverie when Bud beckoned to him. “You done? I'm on a tight schedule, remember?”

  James turned and scowled. “What is it you have to do that's so important?”

  Bud snorted. “There are other people to deal with. Someone dies every second on Earth.”

  James gave Bud a look. “There are other people, right now, waiting for you to come and show them this stuff?” he asked incredulously.

  “Of course, I am not your personal guide. I'm a guide. I help everyone.” Bud said.

  “So then what? Who are you exactly?”

  “I'm Bud.”

  “I know that,” James said dully. “I mean, what are you? You're obviously not a human being by the way you talk. So who or what are you?”

  Bud was silent for a moment, a pensive look on his face. As if he was trying to discern the answer himself. “I'm the Guide.”

  James growled. “That's too vague an answer. I want specifics! What species are you? Why are you here as a guide?”

  “I'm a guide because I am. I am what I am. There's no reason or logic behind it. I'm a guide to those who have died. I lead them to their End.”

  “What?” James snapped. “Their 'End'? What do you mean?”

  Bud smiled again. But this smile held something behind it; understanding. James suddenly felt something knit inside of his chest as he watched the bearded, plaid wearing man step closer.

  “I think maybe it's time you met your End.”

  Bud pushed him. His arms shot out and shoved James backwards over the edge of the wooden platform. James tumbled and went flying in the air. The wind kicked up and he felt it stab at his back as he fell.

  He screamed. At this height, he'd be crushed by the impact. His body would explode and he'd be wiped from existence forever. What else could happen? It's the only explanation he could imagine for the 'End'. Where else would he go? Another plain? Or would he be engulfed in eternal darkness like he feared?

  James flung his arms and legs about, his throat going hoarse form the screaming, as if he'd suddenly gain the ability to fly. The wind whipped by him, pushing against his back painfully. This was the End, and James wasn't ready.

  “No!”

  Suddenly, as if a switch was flipped, James was on solid ground. But this wasn't the exploding crash he'd expected. This was a harsh bang, but nowhere as bad as he'd thought. It was like falling out of bed onto the floor, and nothing more.

  “What...?”

  James looked around, his eyes watered and blurry. He wiped away the moister and found himself lying on a dark ground. All around him was darkness. Unending blackness that was suffocating and terrifying.

  Oh God! James really was gone from existence. He had hit the ground and was erased for all eternity, only real in his own eyes.

  This was his version of Hell. Being gone forever in a void of darkness. Alone, cold, and afraid for all eternity.

  James stood and wiped off his clothing. At least he wasn't naked, like he'd imagined. He still retained his clothing; thank...whoever created the universe.

  James looked around at the darkness and felt his heart quicken. What would he do? What COULD he do here? Just existing wasn't very entertaining or sound. He'd go insane, and eventually lose himself forever. Thus truly being wiped from existence.

  “You're freaked out huh?” Bud was there again, appearing with no warning by James' side.

  James not only flinched this time; he full on fell backwards in shock. He landed on the ground and felt the cold, tile-like ground sting his behind.

  James stood, catching his bearings, and glared hard at Bud. “What the fuck just happened?! Where a
re we now, and why did you push me like that?!”

  Bud wasn't smiling this time. He had on a serious look which shook James to the core. He was so used to that weird smile now that the thin lining of the man's lips made him nervous.

  “This is it, your End.” Bud said, staring James down intently.

  “What?” James' eyes widened. This couldn't be it! He couldn't stay here! “Y-you've got to be kidding! T-this can't be what comes after death! This CAN'T be!”

  Bud just stared at him for a long moment, his stoic expression sending chills down James' spine. “You know what...” Bud stepped closer, making James step back. “...you're right!”

  James blinked. “What?”

  Bud was smiling again, this time more radiant than ever. “This is not the End! You're right! Hah!” he laughed. “This is the preliminary stage. The place where you decide where you shall go.”

  “I...what?”

  “Here,” Bud turned, raising his hand to snap his fingers. The sound echoed throughout the void, as if in a long narrow hallway.

  Nothing happened for a millisecond. James wondered what insanity was to come next.

  As if in answer, something in the distance formed into sight. There were two things flying at extreme speeds towards the two. The things came closer, and James discerned them to be doors.

  The doors came about and settled themselves side-by-side in front of James and Bud. The doors were identical in height and width, but held different characteristics. The one on the left was littered in cracks and mold, while the other was blotted with markings that made no sense to him. Flanking the doors were columns, both marble white with flames flickering at