Rebel_Ballsy Boys 1
Page 21
“I don’t remember any of that,” I admit.
“No, I suppose you wouldn’t. Well, in any event, things didn’t stay like that forever, as I’m sure you well know. I didn’t see the signs at first, but when we started coming up short for rent and groceries every month, I put the pieces together. I was so angry with Frank for getting mixed up in drugs, but when I confronted him, he made it sound kind of fun, like a nice little escape. I was a nineteen-year-old mother with no friends, a backbreaking job, and a husband who was rumored to be sleeping with half the girls on the block. A little reprieve sounded so nice.”
“Meanwhile, your kid sat alone in his bedroom wondering if his parents were coming home, and if they did, what state they’d be in. I never knew if you’d remember to feed me or leave me sitting in my own piss for a day and a half.”
Hendrix sucks in a surprised breath beside me, but Jackie doesn’t look surprised by my outburst.
“That’s why I had to do what I did. I was in too deep at that point. I kept telling myself I was going to get clean and do right by you, but every day that went by, I felt like more of a failure to you. I didn’t plan it ahead of time. I woke up that morning particularly lucid and sick to my stomach when I walked into your bedroom and noticed how skinny and dirty I’d let you become. I decided I was going to take you to the grocery store and get whatever you wanted and that I would turn things around. I knew you needed better than what I was giving you.
“We were sitting at a stoplight when I noticed the police station up ahead. And suddenly, I knew it was the only right thing I could do. I knew there had to be a better family out there for you, someone who could do right by you.”
I clear my throat and nod again. I try to surreptitiously wipe the moisture from the corner of my eyes, and if Hendrix and Jackie notice, they’re polite enough not to say.
“When did you get clean?” I ask.
“I went into rehab that same week, but I relapsed a few times over the next eight years. When Frank died, that was just the wake-up call I needed. I’ll be eleven years sober next month.”
“That’s a long time,” I mumble, my leg starting to bounce again under the table. “You know I never was adopted? I had some foster families and then lived in a group home until I aged out of the system.”
“I didn’t know.” Jackie bows her head, and I hear her sniffle. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to look for you, but I was so sure you’d have been adopted by a wonderful family. And I was afraid you’d hate me. If I’m being honest, it was more the latter. I was selfish. I couldn’t stand the thought of looking into your eyes and seeing nothing but hatred.”
“I stopped hating you a long time ago,” I admit. “Elise told me this Buddhist saying that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”
Jackie doesn’t ask who Elise was, and I don’t bother to enlighten her.
“I know I don’t deserve a second chance to be in your life, but I’d love the chance to get to know you.”
I chew the inside of my cheek and jerk my head noncommittally.
Hendrix’s breath tickles my cheek as he leans in. “If you need time to process, that’s okay. We can leave and make plans to talk to her again in the future,” he whispers in suggestion.
I glance over at Jackie to see her reaction to Hendrix’s overt display. She doesn’t seem fazed by it, so at least that’s one point in her favor.
“You have a new husband and daughters now. I don’t want to intrude.”
“You wouldn’t be. They know about you. I have your baby picture on my mantle, right next to my girls.”
Those words break the dam, and the tears have no choice but to flow freely down my cheeks. I turn and bury my face in Hendrix’s shoulder, allowing silent sobs to wrack my body. They both sit quietly until I pull myself back together.
“I’d like to exchange numbers and meet again,” I manage to say after a few minutes.
Jackie pulls a pen out of her apron and writes her number on a napkin, then slides it across the table to me. “Can you just tell me, do you have a good life?”
I glance at Hendrix, and my heart swells to nearly bursting. I think of my new friends and my degree I’ll soon be finished with. “Yeah, it’s really good.”
Jackie smiles and wipes her eyes. “Good, good. Now, I’d better get back to work. Call me any time. I can’t wait for you to meet my girls.”
“I’d like that,” I agree before giving her a brief hug.
“What do you say to a hotel room for the night? I think a hot bath and a handjob are in order,” Hendrix whispers as we head out of the diner toward his car.
“That sounds perfect, baby. Absolutely perfect.”
36
Rebel
Six Months Later
I wake up with Troy in my arms, draped half over me, and I smile. He’s come so far, my banana boy. He still panics every now and then when he wakes up in the middle of the night and feels me close to him, but it’s becoming less and less frequent. Recently, he’s started to seek my body when he’s asleep. It used to be me finding him, but now he’s craving the contact as much as I am.
God, he’s so beautiful. Even with his eyes closed—they are, I think, my favorite part of him. Though I have to say his cock is pretty nice, too. And he damn well knows how to use it.
My guess is I top him maybe three out of four times, but every now and then, he gets in this aggressive mood and fucks the shit out of me. Yesterday, it was because he was celebrating, and he had all this energy he needed to get rid of. I happily volunteered as an object for his mood. Let’s just say it was mutually satisfactory and leave it at that. My ass still smarts a little from his...enthusiasm.
I lean in and softly kiss his lips. He lets out a quiet little moan, and then those gorgeous eyes blink and open. A slow smile spreads across his face when he sees me. “Hey, baby,” he says, his voice thick with sleep.
There’s still a rush when he calls me that. I’ve had to work hard at getting my banana boy to trust me and open up to me, but it’s been so worth it. “Good morning,” I say and kiss him again, just because I want to.
“Is it time?” he asks.
“Nah. I woke you up a little early.”
His smile widens. “You in the mood for some more celebrating?”
“Not if it involves your cock in my ass, babe. That was some serious pounding you did last night.” He looks positively smug, and I grin. “Feeling good about ourselves, are we?”
His smile transforms into something else, something much deeper. “Yes, I am. I’m feeling really good. For the first time I can remember, I’m happy.”
The look on his face makes me want to weep with gratitude. “You have no idea how happy that makes me, babe,” I say.
We stare at each other with probably identical goofy smiles on our faces before he grabs my head and gives me a solid kiss. “Okay, enough with the sappy shit. How about a celebratory blowjob to wake me up?”
I reach for his cock, which is rock hard. “You look plenty awake to me.”
He blinks his eyes, pouts. “Please? Because I’m super smart and awesome?”
He is, no doubt. He’s graduating today, getting the degree he’s worked so hard for. And I couldn’t be prouder of him.
It hasn’t been easy for him, this last year. Our relationship required him to do a lot of learning and confronting himself with baggage he never fully realized he had. And meeting Jackie and his sisters wasn’t a walk in the park, either. They’re not super close, yet, but they’re in touch, and he’s trying hard. That’s all anyone can ask after what he went through, and I don’t think Jackie was even expecting this much.
“You are super smart and awesome, but I’m not sure how that relates to getting a blowjob,” I say.
“Dude, it’s a blowjob. Work with me here.”
We both laugh at those familiar words. My banana boy. I keep grinning until I take him in, because despite what some people think, you can’t s
mile with a cock in your mouth. I dare you to try it.
I go for fast and dirty, and he’s unloading down my throat in under three minutes. I haven’t forgotten my skills, apparently.
“Mmmm,” he sighs. “You’re so damn good at that.”
He pulls me up and gives me a sloppy kiss, licking out my mouth for the last remnants of his cum. When he’s done, he cups my cheek. “I love you.”
My heart jumps, as it always does when he says those words. They’re still rare, and thus so precious to me. “I love you, too.”
He looks at me as if he’s waiting for something, and I scrunch my nose.
“Are you gonna ask, or were you planning on waiting till tonight?” he says with a mysterious smile.
“Ask what?”
He smiles. “Ask me to move in with you.”
My mouth drops open. “How did you…?”
He gently shakes his head. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice how sneaky you’ve been about encouraging me to bring over more clothes? My study books? Dude, you had me install my PlayStation here ‘cause you told me your TV was so much bigger, and it would be more fun for me to play here. Pretty much all my stuff is here except for my furniture and kitchen shit—which I don’t use anyway.”
Oh, shit. Apparently, I haven’t been as stealthy and subtle as I had hoped. I clear my throat. “How did you know I wanted to ask you today?”
“I spotted a bill from your insurance company. You added me to your renters insurance, starting today. You’re so freaking good at shit like that, by the way. Underneath that wild porn star beats the heart of a dependable man, baby.”
I sigh, admitting defeat. The good news is that Troy doesn’t look mad. More like, expectant, really. As if he still wants me to say the actual words. And then I realize it. He does. He needs me to say the words because he won’t believe it’s real until he hears me say it.
I take a deep breath. “I love you, Troy. So much. And I would love for you to move in with me. I wanna go to sleep every night with you in my arms, knowing you’ll be there tomorrow and the day after. I wanna spend every morning waking up like this. I want to love you the best I can, if you’ll let me.”
I run out of breath, and all this time, he’s been looking at me with a soft expression. “Are you asking me to move in or are you asking me for more? ‘Cause that sounded pretty romantic to me, a bit over the top for a moving in request, really. More like a proposal.”
My heart stops. It just stops. He’s not mad, and he’s not freaked out, but there’s something in his eyes I’ve never seen before. Something soft and loving and...trusting. “I was asking you to move in with me?” I ask, my voice barely audible.
He kisses me softly on my lips.
“Yes.”
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR MORE BALLSY BOYS!
Will Tank and Brewer end up killing each other? Will Mason stick by his declaration not to mess around with a porn star? And what’s up with Campy, Heart, and Pixie? Don’t miss more of our Ballsy Boys coming soon!
Meet K.M. Neuhold
Author K.M. Neuhold is a complete romance junkie, a total sap in every way. She started her journey as an author in new adult, MF romance, but after a chance reading of an MM book, she was completely hooked on everything about lovely—and sometimes damaged—men finding their Happily Ever After together. She has a strong passion for writing characters with a lot of heart and soul and a bit of humor as well. And she fully admits that her OCD tendencies of making sure every side character has a full backstory will likely always lead to every book having a spin-off or series. When she’s not writing, she’s a lion tamer, an astronaut, and a superhero…just kidding, she’s likely watching Netflix and snuggling with her husky while her amazing husband brings her coffee.
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Meet Nora Phoenix
When she was a little tot, Nora’s mom got a library subscription for her. That, as they say, was that, and a lifelong love for books was born. Nora never stopped reading and doesn’t exaggerate when she says she devours books, rather than plain reads them. She started writing stories as soon as she could hold a pen and wrote her first full book as a teen (on a typewriter!). It took her waaaay too long to follow her dream to become a romance author. Nora writes M/M romance, because hello, sexy boys, and likes her men flawed, strong, and a tad broken. She appreciates a little kink but insists on a happy ever after.
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