Home to Paradise

by Cameron, Barbara;

  She bent down and tickled the toes, and Lannie giggled and thrust the curtains aside to reveal herself. She threw herself into Kate’s arms and got a big hug before wiggling down to run to her mother.

  What a morning, thought Rose Anna, joining the other women in laughter. It had started with tears and high emotion and was ending in shared laughter.

  Quilting was the thread that bound them together just as it did the women in her community. It gave them a reason to gather, to share their joy and their pain and their hopes and fostered their creativity. Rose Anna looked at the sign Pearl had bought at Leah’s shop and hung in the room.

  “When life gives you scraps, make a quilt,” it read. She smiled.

  11

  Sometimes Rose Anna thought she should pinch herself. Maybe she was dreaming, but she felt as though something changed after that day she and John went out.

  He was stopping by to take her for drives, for the occasional supper, a workday at David and Lavina’s or Sam and Mary Elizabeth’s farm.

  Neither of them used the word dating.

  She was cautious and stepped around the term. Somehow it would make things too serious. She sensed he was wary of being pulled back into the community, and there was no way she wanted to scare him away.

  But how she longed to ask him to come to church. Or to a singing. They had always enjoyed attending a singing.

  So they acted like good friends—which they were, really—and not a couple dating.

  One afternoon he took her to see a movie. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen a movie, of course. She and her schweschders had gone to see several that friends had called “chick flicks” and enjoyed them. John took her to see the latest Star Wars movie. She’d been wide-eyed at the fantastical action on the screen, and oh my, the noise was something else. It wasn’t exactly the type of movie she would have chosen, but she enjoyed watching John’s fascination with it.

  Afterward they indulged in pizza.

  “Do you go to the movies often?” she asked him as she chose a second slice.

  “This is only the second one since I moved to town. I’ve been too busy working. Then there’s the money. Movies aren’t cheap. That’s probably why people watch so much television.” He helped himself to a third slice.

  She glanced at the door and her eyes widened. “Look who’s here.”

  “Gut-n-owed, Rose Anna. John, how are you doing?” Isaac Stoltzfus asked as he came to stand next to their table.

  “Fine. You?”

  “Doing well.”

  “Join us?”

  He nodded and slid into the booth next to John. Their server walked over. “I came in for a takeout order. Stoltzfus.”

  “I’ll see if it’s ready yet.”

  “Thank you.” He turned back to them. “So how are things in the Englisch world, cousin?”

  “Good. Rose Anna and I just went to a movie.”

  “Ah, one of the few things I miss about my rumschpringe.” He smiled reminiscently. “Movies. Hard rock. And pizza from this place. Emma and I came here often when we were dating. I’m taking some home. She said she has a taste for some.”

  Rose Anna knew that was his way of saying his fraa had a craving for something because she was expecting a boppli. At last week’s church service there had been no doubt that Emma was not only expecting—she was due very soon.

  As the two men discussed the movie she and John had just seen, she found herself remembering how Emma had despaired of Isaac enjoying the Englisch world during his rumschpringe. He’d cut his hair into an Englisch style, dressed in jeans, and looked to be the latest to leave the Amish community.

  But somehow he’d changed his mind, and Emma had been credited with bringing him back to the fold.

  Rose Anna wasn’t a close friend of Emma’s, but Lavina was close to Emma’s schweschder, and she’d said Emma had seriously considered leaving the church to be with Isaac.

  She’d worried for a long time that John might decide to stay in the Englisch community. Even though they were seeing each other, he hadn’t said anything about returning. Both his bruders had begun taking small steps back toward the community by attending a church service. A fun activity like a singing.

  Something.

  But John hadn’t. He enjoyed Englisch things like the movie they’d just seen. And oh, how he loved his truck.

  Could he give those things up?

  She realized they’d stopped talking and were staring at her. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

  “We’re boring you by talking about movies,” Isaac said with a grin.

  “I’ll take you to a chick flick next time,” John promised her. He glanced at Isaac. “I think she fell asleep for a few minutes.”

  “I did not.”

  “I heard snoring,” he said, his eyes twinkling.

  “John! I did not fall asleep, and I definitely did not snore!”

  She glared at him, but that just resulted in the two men laughing harder. It was really tempting to reach over and smack John on the arm, but she was saved from unladylike behavior when the server came to the table with Isaac’s pizza.

  Rose Anna glanced up at Isaac as he stood, handed the server the money, and took the large square box from her. “Tell Emma I said hello.”

  “I will.”

  “Are you okay?” John asked her as Isaac left.

  “Schur. Why?”

  “You barely said a word while Isaac was sitting here.”

  “I don’t talk every minute,” she responded with a touch of tartness.

  “No?” he teased.

  “Nee,” she said firmly.

  “I know we were talking a lot about the movie.” He nodded when the server came to ask if they wanted refills on their soft drinks.

  “I figured you hadn’t seen him in a while.”

  “I haven’t.” John fell silent.

  Rose Anna sipped at her soft drink and wondered if it was the right time to ask him if he’d come to a church service . . .

  “You know, Isaac mentioned some things he missed about the Englisch world,” she began carefully. “But he obviously missed many more about our community.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because he returned.”

  “So?”

  “What do you mean ‘so’?”

  “What are you trying to say, Rose Anna?” He sat back, ignoring the pizza on his plate.

  “I’m not saying anything.” Frustrated, she found herself shredding the paper napkin in her lap.

  “I was wondering when you’d start trying to talk me back. That’s what you were thinking while Isaac and I were talking.”

  “I’m not trying to talk you back!” She balled up the napkin and set it beside her plate.

  “No?”

  “No!” The pizza she’d eaten was churning in her stomach. “I haven’t said anything about that to you.” She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to. But she was afraid to bring it up.

  The server came with their check and offered a takeout box for the remaining pizza. After casting a wary glance at their tense faces, she moved on to another table of diners.

  Rose Anna gathered up her things as John tucked bills into the leather folder. They walked out to the truck without speaking. Miserable, she stared straight ahead as he drove her home.

  “Danki,” she said when he pulled into the drive in front of her house. “I had a gut time.” Well, she had up until they had their first fight.

  “Rose Anna, I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s just that I feel . . . pressured when I’m with you.”

  She turned to him. “I don’t pressure you.”

  He touched her hand. “You pressure me just by being you.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “From the day she’s born, an Amish maedel thinks about getting married.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “No?”

  But there was some truth to his words. Marriage and family was h
ighly valued.

  “I’m not like that,” she insisted. But her conscience jeered. She’d set out to win him hadn’t she? But she didn’t want to marry him just to be married!

  She jerked open the door and slid out of the truck. And when she went inside and threw herself onto her bed in a fit of self-pity, she told herself she’d been a silly maedel to think things had been going so well.

  ***

  John muttered most of the way to the Zimmerman farm. He didn’t think he’d said anything so bad, but Rose Anna had given him the silent treatment all the way home.

  Then when they got to her house, she hadn’t asked when she’d see him again. No, she’d thanked him politely—oh, so politely—and gotten out of the truck and went inside.

  Well, everyone in the Amish community knew great emphasis was placed on their young people marrying and settling down to have families. Most of their friends were married and had already started their families. Her own sisters certainly hadn’t exactly been old maids when they’d married. And David and Lavina already had a beautiful little son.

  He’d once teased Rose Anna for being a romantic when she was a teen and she dropped her purse and a romance novel had fallen out.

  Don’t tell him she wasn’t interested in getting married. He might not be the smartest man on the planet but he knew better than that.

  He was so wound up thinking about it, feeling defensive, he worked off his mad by mucking out a stall.

  “Whoa there, I don’t care to wear horse doo-doo today!” Neil said with a chuckle.

  John lowered the shovel. “Sorry. Didn’t hear you come in.”

  “No problem.” Neil glanced down at his boots. “Can’t own horses without getting a little manure on you.”

  He didn’t know what to say to that, so he went back to shoveling.

  “Something bothering you?”

  Setting down the shovel, he looked at Neil. “No sir. Did you need me for something?”

  “Nope. But you sure are putting your back into it.”

  He shrugged and went back to his work.

  “Seems like when a man’s upset, it’s usually got to do with a woman. You have a fuss with that pretty little lady you brought here one day? Rose Anna was her name, right?”

  He nodded. “I guess.”

  “You mean she didn’t tell you so?” He sat himself down on a nearby bale of hay. “Never knew a woman who didn’t let you know for sure if you upset her. My Doris sure did, bless her heart. Wonderful woman, but she could get a mad on and keep it for days until you apologized.”

  John felt his mouth twitch. His boss had such a colorful way of talking.

  “What did you do?” Neil asked.

  “What makes you think it was my fault?” John demanded.

  “It’s always our fault.”

  Now he did grin. “Well, I sort of implied Amish women were only interested in getting married, and she got offended.”

  “Well it’s true women are more interested in the institution than we men are. That’s because they’re smarter than we are.”

  “Oh really?”

  Neil laughed and slapped his knee. “Once you let her convince you she’s right, you’ll find out you’ve never been happier, son.” He sighed and stared off into the distance. “I miss Doris every day.”

  The older man reminded John of Rose Anna’s grandfather the last time he’d sat and played checkers with him. What did you say to someone like that? He didn’t have much experience with saying the right words when they had lived life more than he did.

  Something about the way Neil looked a little lonely as he sat there, staring off into the distance, made him take a seat on another bale of hay. No, he didn’t have the fancy words, but he could listen.

  “Tell me about Doris.”

  Neil dug in his back pocket, pulled out his wallet, and withdrew a photo. He showed it to John. “Most beautiful woman in the world. Took this the day our son got married. She died a year later.”

  John studied the photo. Doris was an attractive woman with silver hair and a nice smile. Nice looking, but the most beautiful looking woman in the world? Hardly. And then he looked at her eyes and saw the love shining in them. They told a story without words about the relationship the two had enjoyed.

  “Doris was there for me through some lean times when I was setting up my practice,” Neil said. “She helped in the office until I could afford to hire a secretary and paralegal. Smartest woman I ever knew. A true partner in every sense of the word. Just a wonderful wife and mother.”

  Neil tucked the photo back in his wallet. “So how are you going to apologize?”

  “I don’t think I have anything to apologize for.”

  “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”

  John stood and picked the shovel up again. “A man can’t be both?”

  “Oh, you have a lot to learn, son.”

  Willow snorted as if in agreement and moved restlessly in her stall.

  “Vet stopped by earlier,” Neil said, getting to his feet to wander over and stroke Willow’s nose. “Said she’s doing well, everything looks like the foal is getting in position for delivery. Could be any time now.”

  He looked at John. “How many foals have you seen born?”

  “Probably half a dozen.”

  “It’s awesome. Only thing better is watching your child born.”

  The mare backed away from him, switching her tail, moving restlessly around her stall.

  “Acts like it’s my fault she’s uncomfortable,” Neil told him. “Seems like Doris went through a phase like that when she was about to deliver our son.”

  “My oldest brother said his wife yelled at him when she was in labor. Lavina is one of the sweetest women I know.” Unlike her tart sister Rose Anna, he thought but didn’t say.

  “You never said why you’re living in town. Are you doing that running around time? What’s it called?”

  “Rumschpringe.” John shrugged and finished shoveling manure and used straw into the wheelbarrow. “No, when I left home it was with my brothers. Our father just got impossible to live with.”

  “Sorry to hear it. My father was a mean old guy. Got mad at my younger sister once for sassing him like kids will. Threw a big can of peaches at her. It was the closest thing at hand as they stood in the kitchen. Anyway, if she hadn’t ducked in time, no telling what could have happened.”

  He sighed. “Well, I think I’ll go eat my supper. You feel like beef stew just come on up to the house. There’s plenty.”

  “Thanks.”

  John spread fresh hay in the stall and turned to Willow. “All nice and clean for you, Little Mama. Time for you to have that baby.”

  He hadn’t said anything to Neil, in case he was wrong, but Willow was going to foal tonight.

  Sure enough, he’d just finished cleaning stalls and feeding the other horses when Willow kicked at her stall and uttered a high-pitched neigh.

  When he looked into her stall, he saw she was sweating and dripping a little milk.

  He wasn’t going anywhere tonight. “I’ll be right back,” he told Willow, and he headed up to the house to tell Neil he was going to spend the night.

  “Hey, decided to have some supper?” He held the door open.

  John shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m going to spend the night in the barn if that’s okay with you. I think Willow’s going to foal tonight.”

  “Okay. Should I call the vet?”

  “You said he thought she was doing well when he was here earlier. So he doesn’t think she’ll have any problems?”

  Neil shook his head.

  “Then it’s up to you.”

  “Okay. I’ll finish my supper and check in with you in a while.”

  John was glad he’d had something to eat earlier in the day. That stew had smelled good.

  When he returned to the barn, Willow was acting more agitated. He talked to her in a soothing voice as he got a blanket and settled down next
to her stall.

  Neil came out a while later and surprised John with a container of stew and a Thermos of coffee. “Thought you could use this.”

  Touched, John took them from him. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.”

  “What, you tell me you’re staying for my horse and you think I’m going to let you sit out here hungry? Anyway, I phoned the vet, and he’s tied up on a call on the other side of the county. Said he’d get here soon as he can.”

  John made quick work of the stew as he watched Willow. He’d barely finished when Willow lay down in her stall, and he could see contractions rippling across her abdomen.

  “Showtime,” Neil said.

  He leaned on the stall and watched as John entered the small space, careful to stay to the far side. “My father always said most animals give birth without any help from us.”

  They didn’t have long to wait. The birth was quick and uncomplicated, and before long the foal slid out onto the hay.

  John sat there watching, awed as he always was at the miracle of birth. He wondered what it must be like to witness the birth of your own child.

  The vet walked in just as the foal struggled to its feet.

  “Well, well, good job,” he announced.

  “We didn’t do anything,” John told him.

  “I was talking to Willow,” the vet said, chuckling.

  ***

  Rose Anna was helping wash dishes in Fannie Mae Miller’s kitchen after church service when Emma Stoltzfus, Isaac’s fraa, walked up and joined her at the sink.

  “Is there enough room for me?” she asked, giggling as she maneuvered her sizeable abdomen up beside Rose Anna.

  Rose Anna laughed. “Barely! Ouch, your boppli kicked me!”

  “I think it’s a boy,” Emma confided, placing a hand on her abdomen. “Doesn’t want to help doing dishes.” She sobered. “Are you allrecht?”

  “Schur. Why?”

  “Isaac said he ran into you and John the other day at the pizza place in town and you looked unhappy after he joined the two of you. He was afraid he might have said something to upset you.”

  “It was nothing.”

  “Allrecht.” Emma picked up a dishtowel and held out a hand for the plate Rose Anna was rinsing.