All's Fair in Love and Mastery

by Sparrow Beckett

  Andromeda sighed and closed her copy of the information.

  “You’re completely spaced out this morning, Dex. Spill it.” Andromeda arched a brow.

  One had to admire the way Master An could make such a simple eyebrow tilt into something that could make a submissive’s insides turn to water. Although Master An was female and femme, she refused to be called mistress because, as she put it, she was no man’s fucking mistress. It was strange how she engendered such respect and fear, considering she wasn’t particularly imposing. Maybe it was the ice-blue eyes paired with her raven black hair, and her air of quiet authority?

  Andromeda also loved beer, which was what had not only led to her becoming Evil Pixie’s sales guru, but also one of the people Dex trusted most. She’d helped Dex make her millions, which, in turn, led to Dex paying Andromeda very well.

  “It’s a combination of things. Mostly that I can see the whole summer disappearing, and because of the sheer number of events. It sounds fun, but seriously exhausting.”

  Andromeda frowned at her, but Dex owned Evil Pixie in its entirety and sure as hell didn’t answer to An.

  A whole summer of drunken parties and being off-site? She could hire someone to oversee the party venues, instead of doing it herself, but she felt torn. A stranger wouldn’t know Evil Pixie like she did—wouldn’t pour their passion for the brand into their work, and none of their current employees had the required skill set. But then, she also didn’t want to leave the management of the brewery to someone else.

  Dex stubbornly set her jaw and looked out her office window over the sea of stainless and the women moving about their work. The protective feeling she got from watching production had to be similar to how parents felt watching their children. The brewery and the women she employed were not only her responsibility, but were the main source of joy in her life—her entire raison d’être. Risking Evil Pixie by leaving for a good chunk of the summer, thereby risking the livelihoods of her employees, made her apprehensive.

  Andromeda sighed. “We can find someone personable to run the beer gardens if you’d prefer to stay here. If I wasn’t such a fucking bitch, I’d go on your behalf—but as it is, we both know I’m not the life of any party.”

  Dex snorted in amusement. If Andromeda wasn’t so commanding she wouldn’t hesitate to set her loose on any endeavor she needed help with, but people tended to find her intimidating rather than friendly.

  They had gone over the pros and cons of this again and again, and it was quite possible that her primary objection to going forward had more to do with not wanting to host parties all summer. High energy, cute clothes. This was a huge step out of Dex’s comfort zone.

  “It feels like a bit of a free fall, but it’s a calculated risk,” An reminded her. “We’ve crunched the numbers and this could work out really well for Evil Pixie.”

  “I know, but it’s an aggressive marketing scheme. What if it works so well that we can’t keep up with production? I don’t want to expand so far that we’re practically a macrobrewery. I don’t want things to get cold and impersonal. I don’t want to hire a big group of strangers I’m not sure I can count on. I don’t want our quality to suffer.” She chewed on the end of her pen, thinking. “Money is good, but we don’t have to be greedy. I’d rather stick to an operation where I don’t have to trust quality control to other people. I don’t want to have to hire managers I don’t know, and be in the position where I can only hope they won’t be dicks to my employees.”

  Andromeda nodded. “I get all that. If you think about it, though, this expansion would be just part of a process you’ve been engaged in since we met. Maybe this is a big step, but it’s not like this place is as small as it used to be either. You’ve found people to trust along the way and hired them, then promoted them. This would doing the same thing, only a little faster.” She took a sip of her tea, still looking smooth and composed although she had to be telling Dex off in her head. “The plan to get the brand name out there this way could totally flop,” she offered, as though that were a more comforting scenario.

  “I suppose that’s true.”

  “If not—hell, promote from within. You know who you can trust. Then the workers who’ve been with you the longest will be around to tell you who is and isn’t working out. You have an open door policy and I don’t think anyone who works here is afraid to come to you if they’ve got issues.”

  Dex grunted and tapped her pen on the first of many dotted lines.

  Every time the company had expanded, Dexter had told herself they would go that big and no bigger. What if this was the time she lost control of things? The brewery was her life’s work—the one thing she had that was entirely hers, other than the house. Without the brewery she wouldn’t be able to keep the house either.

  “It’s completely your call, Dex. If you’re serious about not wanting to go ahead with things, I’ll trust your gut instincts. I may throw a bit of a tantrum but I’ll get over it.”

  They grimaced at each other. Early on in their days of working together, Andromeda had been a bit difficult. The woman had been used to getting her way, especially with Dexter. It had been a bit of an adjustment having to defer to Dex, but eventually they’d sorted out their working relationship.

  Dex let out a low groan. “If you were anyone else, I wouldn’t even entertain this idea.”

  “I’m aware.”

  “And you’re sure the number the bank quoted us will be enough of a loan to see us through the summer’s expenses?”

  Andromeda face lit with an enthusiastic, almost girlish grin. She clapped her hands, too, which made Dex roll her eyes.

  “I haven’t said yes yet, and now I’m definitely leaning toward no,” Dex said pointedly.

  “I’m pretty sure that while you’re wearing your boss pants you’re not supposed to be so bratty.”

  “The nice thing is that because I am the owner, I can be bratty anytime I damn well please.”

  “It’s not very professional,” Andromeda said with mock censure.

  “Neither is having blue and purple hair, or wearing jeans and a T-shirt to work.”

  “Isn’t that Grant’s T-shirt?”

  “You know it. He came by my place this morning and reclaimed the one I was wearing at the time. It seemed only right that I wear another one of his today.”

  Andromeda laughed and handed her an unchewed pen. “What was he doing at your place so early? You two finally hook up?”

  “Me and Grant? That’ll never happen.” She snorted dismissively, hoping the other woman wouldn’t see the lie on her face. What was happening between her and Grant felt better as a secret—telling people would cheapen it. “By the way, I’m headed north with him for a week to look at a business opportunity he wants my opinion on.”

  “Uh-huh.” Andromeda smirked. “Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?”

  “You shut up.” She threw an eraser at her.

  “Seriously, though, we can hold down the fort. It’s not quite busy season yet.”

  “Thanks, An.”

  “I don’t understand why you two won’t give it a go though.” She gave an elegant shrug and leaned back in her chair. “It didn’t work between you and me for long, but we stayed friends. If I had another best friend I was so in sync with, I don’t know if I could resist the temptation to take it a step further. Or at least to give it a try.”

  “So you’d give it a try and then what? What if it didn’t work and you ruined the relationship? Is sex worth the risk?”

  Andromeda shrugged, then leaned over the desk to tap the bottom of the contract where Dex was supposed to sign. “The possibility that someone could be my everything would probably be enough incentive for me to risk it.”

  “When someone else is your everything, that’s dangerous territory. What happens when it’s over?” The last time it had almost killed
her. No way. Not again.

  As Dexter started signing, she listened to the familiar sound of Andromeda brushing her fingertip around the rim of her teacup.

  “I guess it would feel a lot like your life was over,” her friend mused.

  Dex cursed inwardly as An’s words made her signature wobble. “Yeah, I guess it would feel a lot like that.”

  * * *

  * * *

  For maybe the millionth time, Dex stretched her back, shifting in her seat to try to ease the ache in her ass. By the time they got to Grant’s mysterious island, her butt was going to need reinflating.

  Grant was behind the wheel, and although he’d stopped blasting the Kink Monsters on his truck stereo whenever she wasn’t on the phone with Andromeda about work, he still seemed to be thinking of all this like a grand adventure rather than a business trip. They’d been on the road for thirteen hours or so, and although Dexter had thought it was fun for the first few hours, all of the road snacks they’d bought felt like a lead weight in her stomach and she was feeling a little green.

  Finally, she lost patience.

  “You know, your idea might have made more money if you hadn’t bought an island in some obscure part of a foreign country.”

  “Come on, Arabella. Canada is barely even another country. It’s America’s hat!” he said, his enthusiasm wilting. “Will and I used to drive up to Toronto to go drinking sometimes when I was underage back home. I love it here!”

  “It didn’t seem so far when we were driving through the southern part of Ontario. Toronto was nice and busy. But I swear I haven’t seen a town for hours. Who’s going to drive this far? You’d have to have a couple of weeks off. This is too far to go for the weekend.”

  “There’s an airstrip on the island. Tak and some of his pilot friends are figuring out flight costs and schedules. I also have to look into hiring seasonal staff, unless I keep the place open year-round. Apparently it’s set up to be used in winter, too, but I don’t know how popular the idea of heading to a snowy kink destination is going to be with people.”

  “Is there a ski hill?”

  “No.”

  “Then I’d have no interest in going.”

  He snorted. “Your idea of outdoorsy is walking a block from the brewery to grab a coffee.”

  “I thought your idea of outdoorsy was fucking girls in parking lots.”

  “Granted.” He winked at her, the dork. Using his own name as a joke was going to have to go on their list of things she got to punch him in the arm for. “The distance just adds to the allure, baby. Besides, do you think there are private islands available to buy around New Jersey? I’ll just cruise on over and make an offer on Manhattan. I thought about buying a decommissioned oil rig off the coast and making that into a kinky getaway, but it just doesn’t have the same feel as a private island in the middle of nowhere.” He smiled to himself. “Besides, when do we get to be ourselves outside, in the fresh air, with no one around to judge? Even at the club we have to be careful. Everything is indoors and at night.”

  “Yeah, you have a point.” She sighed, and leaned her head back against the headrest wishing she could relax enough to fall asleep. It was dark and the music was a low hum, almost matching the tone of the tires humming along pavement.

  “Or maybe I’m wrong and people like the forbidden feel of being at indoor clubs at night. I could lose my shirt.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but you lose your shirts regularly. That’s all me though.”

  He snorted, and she caught him glancing sidelong at her breasts—or maybe he was just checking to see if she was wearing one of his shirts again. Yeah, right.

  They lapsed into silence, and eventually Dex felt her head starting to nod. She struggled to stay awake, and tried to think of things to talk about. The truth was, after so many hours she wished he would let her drive for a while. She was afraid that if she fell asleep he would too. It didn’t help that he’d asked her to watch for moose. Moose! Why the hell were they going to a place with signs warning them to watch for moose?

  “I’m really grateful you agreed to come with me,” he said completely out of the blue.

  “You thought I’d miss this?” She was mildly hurt, considering the fact that he was her best friend—he and Will. They were the closest thing she had to family now.

  “The truth is, I’ve been looking for a chance to talk to you about something when we wouldn’t be interrupted and neither of us could storm off.”

  The settlement of gummy bears currently residing in Dex’s stomach started having their own little mosh pit in her innards. For some stupid reason it had never occurred to her until now that this trip might be a trap.

  “You have?” she asked, only managing to sound slightly less apprehensive than she was. They were pretty literally in the middle of nowhere, unless “somewhere” could be defined as an entirely uninhabited area with a shitload of trees and rocks. If they started arguing now there was no way to fuck off.

  “You are one of the most important people in my life, right up there with Will and Beau. I don’t like that things between us have gotten so weird. We decided to have that one-night together in good faith, with the understanding that it was a one-off and it wasn’t going to affect things between us. I know I’ve managed to screw that up royally. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being a jealous asshole when I have no right to be.” He swallowed. In the dashboard lights she watched a flash of grief cross his face that surprised her. “I’m going to do my best to stop being a dick.”

  Tears welled in Dex’s eyes. She hadn’t been sure he’d ever wanted things to go back to normal, but the apology was a good sign, right? She wasn’t sure if she could trust it, but she was willing to try.

  “You’ve had a change of heart about what you want from me?”

  He avoided a small animal scampering across the highway in the glare of their high beams, and it dived into dark bushes on the side of the road. A weasel or rabbit or something.

  “I never would have imagined myself as one of those guys who got pissy when he was friend-zoned. You have every right to choose who you do and don’t get involved with. Sure I’m disappointed, but the last thing I want is for you to date me because you feel guilty or something stupid like that. If you don’t want me I can be a grown-up about it.”

  She felt weirdly disappointed. For the first time in a long time she’d considered taking things a step further with someone—but only because it was Grant. She never would have trusted anyone else again, but Grant had shown her that other than being a massively jealous prick who sulked when she chose other men’s company, he’d been patient. He hadn’t cornered her to steal kisses or demanded that she obey him even though he’d proven he had her number as a submissive.

  “If it was going to be anyone it would be you,” she admitted. “But I don’t want that with anyone ever again.”

  Grant’s jaw set but he only nodded. “I wish you’d tell me what happened with your ex so I could track him down and deck him if necessary, but I respect your privacy.”

  “Thank you.” Nigel, as a topic, was completely off-limits—even to Grant. Hell, he didn’t even know about Mia, and that was how things should stay. The familiar hurt welled up, but she shoved it back down, trying to forget the sight of them together.

  He sighed heavily and rubbed a hand over his too-handsome face. “I realized the other night, after I bought this place, that you were the only person I wanted to share this with. I don’t want to fuck things up with you again. If you ever want more with me, go ahead and tell me, but if you don’t I’ll live with it. The ball is in your court. I won’t push anymore.”

  She tried to think of something to say, but apparently he wasn’t done.

  “It wasn’t fair for me to expect more. You made it pretty clear what your limits were that night.”

  “So did you, as I
recall. Our limits matched up at the time.”

  He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had no idea I’d end up having a whole shitload of unauthorized feelings.” He chuckled with what sounded like self-derision. “Like you’ve said before, just because we had one night doesn’t give me the right to dictate who you spend time with and it sure as hell doesn’t make you mine.” His voice had roughened a little on the last word, as though that specifically had been hard to admit to himself.

  “So we’re calling a truce on all of the bickering?” she teased.

  It seemed like they’d done nothing but argue for ages. She’d gotten caught up in it just as badly as he had. She was almost certain it was sexual tension, but even knowing hadn’t made it any easier to stop. It hadn’t changed her feelings about him either. As much as he considered her his person, he was her person too. Will’s relationship with Juliet had left her and Grant with no one but each other, more or less. Sure, they both had friends at the club, but this level of friendship was entirely different.

  “I’d like to stop fighting.” He flashed her an uncertain smile.

  “We should have a word that would stop us before things went too far. Like a friendship safeword.” A laugh bubbled up Dex’s throat. The sound of it made Grant grin.

  “Well, I guess it wouldn’t do for us to have a regular vanilla friendship.”

  “No. What kind of plebeian wants a vanilla friendship anyway? This is way better.”

  “So pick a word, woman.”

  She tapped a finger to her lips. “How about ‘moose’?”

  “Moose?” He grimaced at her.

  “What? It will always remind us of this trip, considering how many watch for moose signs we’ve seen in the past few hours.”

  “I hope all we see is signs.”

  “If we see one, maybe you should stop it and ask for directions. I think we’re lost.”

  “We’re not lost. And we only lost cell service for twenty minutes, and it’s back now. Quit being a baby.”