GOLDEN GODDESSES: 25 LEGENDARY WOMEN OF CLASSIC EROTIC CINEMA, 1968-1985
Page 34
As a child and before her bi-polar condition manifested itself in extreme behavior, Serena found solace and freedom in her expansive surroundings. Along with a girlfriend, she developed a reciprocal rapport with nature and animals.
Mountain Oaks Park is the place that I’ve always considered home, even in the many houses we moved around in, even now. There was my next-door neighbor, Leah, from this wonderful, big family. She was my age and where we lived was the kind of place where we could get lost. We found an old pomegranate tree from years back that had been abandoned, an old orchard, and we would play in that and in chicken coops up in the mountain. We’d hear coyotes late at night. It was rustic for a suburb, but it was because of its location. I had one oak tree that I would play horse on.
I remember coloring with Leah and insisting that the sky could be yellow or something. She’d go between the lines and I’d think that was horrible! I’d climb out my bedroom window during my daily naptime and go gnash on dog biscuits. Leah had a big bag of dog bones on her deck and we’d sit there and munch on those — it would be wonderful. She was the only close friend that I consider I’ve ever had. I still connect with her. I also had another friend, a best friend, in junior high. I remember she collected Barbie dolls. Then we got the brilliant idea from a TV movie to run away together. We were busted and thrown in Juvie [Juvenile] Hall and our parents separated us. That’s all I remember of her. That was quick lived.
I got good grades. The second grade, my math went down because my father got “crippled” in an accident at work. That took up most of my childhood where he was in a cast, wheelchairs, canes, and braces. He had several surgeries on his knees and painkillers became my dad’s life and everybody’s life in my family. I feel my break with the mathematical side of my brain was justified in my child’s mind. After my father, Daddy, was taken down in those pre-PC days, he would fight the rest of his life with severe body issues. He was taken by hospitals, surgeries, heart attacks, pain, painkillers and therapy. This memory is totally linked in my brain with the letting go of the side of my brain that is the logical half. I’ve been living my life on this lobe, thus the label “artist.”
“Art brut” — Dubuffet said he was trying to get back to the real art — the only quality art, which is that of childhood; it is the moment I am able to pinpoint when I decided to follow the path of the Artist. I always tell this story and I swear it’s true. The first painting I ever sold was at age four years old. I was in Hawaii and we were sitting at a sushi bar, and my dad was bragging to the next guy at the sushi bar because my dad talked to everybody. Mom always would say, “Your dad never met a stranger”. He was bragging about his little girl because she could work with chopsticks. I’d learned to eat with chopsticks before I could use a fork. I was eating sushi with the chopsticks and we were examining this artwork I had just done in the last two days. Anyway, the guy that my dad had been talking to bought it. It was great and I think I got four dollars. I don’t think I’ve ever painted a watercolor as good, because the scene of it is still in my mind.
Serena’s early educators also stand out firmly in her mind as influential role models that commanded attention, but who were nurturers and conditioners.
In third grade, I had a wonderful teacher named Mrs. Kimble and she had sort of a goose chin. She was old, and flabby, and charming, and looked like something from another age. She reminded me of Dame Margaret Rutherford playing Jane Marple [in one of author Agatha Christie’s novels]. She taught me the love of reading, so I really became a reader and won all of the prizes in contests that determined how many books you could read. You would receive a book for winning and I’d always get these good books. Mrs. Kimbel in the third grade was like a mother, I mean, she was that important to me. My mother understood that. Mrs. Kimble was third grade and Miss Tucker was fourth. I’ve got to give these women credit. Miss Tucker was quite tall and looked like Eleanor Roosevelt and had very strict sort of body language, but she loved Mexico and the romantic Mexico. Miss Tucker loved all of the wonderful, beautiful things about Mexico and really got that into my blood. I love Southern California and Mexico too, that whole culture. That became very important in my life. My folks oozed romance with each other; they were soul mates, so I got the concept.
My sixth grade teacher was Miss Schwab. If we were quiet at the end of the day, she would read to us; it was so cool. We were in sixth grade, but it was like being regressed and having your mother read to you. You felt like a big person, but cradled. She was reading us The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe [1950, by C. S. Lewis]. That was elementary school. I’m proud to have kept up very good grades in those formative years I attended formal schooling. My idols were my teachers, and my Daddy, who sang every song to me. I wasn’t close to Mom [at that time] because of her deafness which was later corrected.
Though she respected and admired her mother, Serena sometimes sensed a competitive rivalry, and believes they shared many common personality traits.
My mother was very wise in understanding people’s space. I remember I had a boyfriend that I was convinced my mother was in love with. I think it was true, but mother was able to just be a mother and be in love with a man in her mind. It wasn’t sexual; it was just like loving a movie star. You can truly love George Clooney or whoever your idol happens to be. It was kind of interesting because I was a teenager having sex, and having the hots for this guy and I knew that about my mother. I could see inside that she had a secret life in there. I think that was the first time I saw my mother as a woman. We’re just both so psychic. I mean she would have psychic thoughts that would protect the family. One year of violent rain storms the river flooded and you couldn’t drive in or out of Mountain Oaks Park. Mom and I were home and her new baby was asleep in her crib. You couldn’t hear much for the howling of the wind. Mom jumped up extremely suddenly, and ran into the crib room to get my sister. The hill behind that room was giving way to the pressure of a mudslide. I think we’re both just in tune that way. I’m very much in love with my mother, and luckily, am now able to let her know. I just came back from visiting her in Las Vegas.
The Tiny Dancer
Ballerina, you must have seen her, dancing in the sand
And now she’s in me, always in me, tiny dancer in my hand.
— ELTON JOHN AND BERNIE TAUPIN
The Catholic Church in downtown L.A. was fabulous and ornate. There was much ritual to it. That is actually the place where I found another one of my idols which was [Mother] Mary, who was always on the right side of the altar. Well, stage left. She comes up a lot in my art. A series of six-foot tall paintings I did are called The Big Women: each is an archetype; she is one. The mother and child; it’s a beautiful image. I had a wonderful time nursing and holding my own baby, it was one of the highest moments of my life. The frosting was holding my child and nursing her in my rocking chair.
The theme song of my life might be Tiny Dancer by Elton John [and Bernie Taupin]. I grew up adoring Rudolf Nureyev. My parents’ first date was going to the movie The Red Shoes [1948]. As a girl, I was in all kinds of lessons, dance lessons, TV acting, theatre lessons, and singing lessons. I had 8 x 10s done and did auditions. There was a time in my life to learn my art and to use up all my excess energy. Forget the Soccer Moms of today, I got driven all over L.A. County. I remember sticking to a real mentor in my life whose name is LaVon. She was my modern ballet teacher. It turns out that my partner, my love, my soul mate: his aunt is named LaVon, and I’d never heard that name before. He and I share all kinds of little coincidences which are proof of the rule: ultimately, everything is a coincidence. I took lessons with LaVon for many years — I loved her, I love “the dance”. It was probably into the teens that I had done most of the lessons, but I have recital pictures of myself at age seven when I studied under LaVon. She ended up marrying a man who was a big, strapping, tall man. He would put a leotard on and come to the recitals and dance, and he was the only man. It was funny to most of the other girls, but it was
wonderful to me to see a man there.
Once Serena reached her teen years, her fragmented self began to spiral out of control. Sexual activity brought a reprieve from her mental and physical pain, but Serena’s anguished emotional state led her into hospitals for psychiatric assessment and behavioral management.
I had terrible teenage years where I was very abusive and hated [my mother] because of my bi-polar condition. I really had a tough, teenage hormonal trauma. Everybody goes through it, but I had it very bad where I was dragged into several mental institutions in a straightjacket. I had a very hard time with my menstrual periods; endometriosis left me screaming into the pillow for a week a month and that only got worse working in the Industry. My uterus never should have tried to take on so many strangers, but my mania had an itch that sex seemed to quell. I took all that pain out specifically, on my mother; I was so angry at; “the mother”. Now, after having been medicated and I’m fine, I’m that much more appreciative of her.
Endometriosis afflicts more than six million girls and women in North America. The chronic condition is characterized by the absence of tissue that normally lines the uterus. Instead, the tissue is located upon the ovaries or in the area between the vagina and rectum, and can cause pain before or during menstruation and during sexual intercourse.
Interestingly, I am a “Four” on the Enneagram, a fascinating study of personality types.
The Enneagram is a personality trait test reputed to have validity relating to mystic theories based upon nine different scales. The abbreviated definition of Serena’s number, a “Four,” is as follows: “Fours” are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but “Fours” can be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feelings of vulnerability and deficiency, “Fours” feel contempt and are derisive of ordinary ways of living. “Fours” typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their best inspired and highly creative, a “Four” is able to renew oneself and transform life experiences.
Junior high was probably too much sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I had a year of high school in Lake Tahoe and that was too much sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I went back to junior college later in my life. I really don’t consider myself a high school graduate and I’m proud of that. That’s just the path I took.
Precious and Few
During one of Serena’s first employment opportunities, she met Thomas Blaquelord, who became her first husband. She also made a contact who introduced to her the notion of better paying options. Serena and Blaquelord eventually eased their way into films together.
Unfortunately, it was my first blind date I think, when I got hooked up with my first husband who was not a good find. We had a combative few years; it was nothing more than that. My husband and I were together as a couple and I got discovered working the counter at Bob’s Big Boy, which is a tradition in our family. My mother met my father at Bob’s when she was a waitress in Bob’s Big Boy. It’s a southern California chain with the best restaurant training, just terrific. Everything was all laid out for you. They gave the world these wonderful waitresses. Bob’s was known for the niceness of their servers and the great food, so we were proud to work there. I dream about it so often I can actually taste the food in my dreams. Bob’s Big Boy is now a landmark. Recently, I went to an event in L.A. with Bill Margold and he gave me a driver that was from Guam. The first place I wanted to go was Bob’s Big Boy; it’s exactly the same as it was except it no longer has a drive-thru, and there was a long line on the street of about forty people to get in! It’s just a coffee shop but it’s the best.
Anyway, I was working at the counter and this guy came in by the name of Ray Sebastian Jr. His father was Ray Sebastian who was a make-up artist for the early legitimate Hollywood movies. Ray Sebastian Jr. tried to pick me up, and he laughed and said, “I’m for real — you could make more money doing something else.” He pointed out the window and he was driving an ambulance. I laughed because my boyfriend, who I was with before I married the father of my child, was named Rick Lipp. He was an organist and at the time I was with him, he worked for the band Climax: their hit was “Precious and Few”. Rick had this hearse that the band had used to move their equipment around until they upgraded to a band bus and roadies. I went to a prom gig with them. It was the only prom I ever went to and I was with the band! Rick gave the hearse to us as our wedding gift. I was married in black velvet and got the hearse. We were married on paper. Our relationship was about fighting each other. This is in the 1970s. I saw him recently at Christmas [2009] and every atom in his body is pure hate for Serena. He’s so bloated and red from alcoholism and it’s as if this is the only thing keeping him alive. It’s so laughable and sad — as if I cared. Seeing him really allowed me to let it go.
Nuptials for Serena and Blaquelord were merely a precaution and formality for the young couple who had both started working in movies and were fearful about possible persecution and prosecution for their illegal involvement.
Ray Sebastian Jr. is the one who connected me to my first agent, Hal Guthu. My husband and I were both in a movie called Sexual Ecstasy of the Macumba (1974) directed by Carlos Tobalina . There was the gorgeous Egyptian theater in downtown Los Angeles and Tobalina needed to keep making movies so that people would keep on coming. He made these cheap, X-Rated movies and showed them at this glorious, gorgeous theater. An X-rated movie was something to see in those days and people would go because they were shown at this beautiful theater.
The Egyptian Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles was built in 1922 by Sid Grauman and Charles E. Toberman. It is admired by visitors for its intricate ornate Egyptian style architectural design. The Egyptian housed the world premiere of Robin Hood in 1938. Grauman and Toberman were also responsible for constructing the El Capitan and Chinese theatres located in the same vicinity.
I did not do hardcore at that time, but when the film opened, it was apparent they had spliced in hardcore footage. I had only agreed to do softcore up until that point. I was afraid of the law, it was scary and we had the vice knocking on our door. At that point, L.A. cops were pigs, and they were always in your business. It seemed like every time we were driving we got pulled over. Here I am with a guy, who has hair down to his waist, and we’re driving around in a hearse and they really didn’t like that. We got busted and we married so that we wouldn’t have to testify against one another in court.
Serena admitted the probability of she and her husband testifying against one another in court was next to nil, but in 1974 while it was still illegal to participate in the production of adult-oriented movies, she was naïve and unwilling to risk going to jail.
I got my second agent on my own, which was just down the block. That is how I met Bill Margold. Bill Margold ran the office. Bill is a true historian and he and I are spiritually linked in many, many ways. He’ll be typing my name in his computer and I’ll call him. Anyway, Bill and I are brother and sister — not blood. I really consider him my brother. I’m as close to him like a sibling as anyone could.
Renowned Adult film historian, William Margold, has worked in all capacities of the adult film industry in the areas of performing, script writing, film critique, and directing since joining the brother and sisterhood in 1973 when he started in the genre as an agent.
At the time, it was called Pretty Girl [Modeling Agency] which led to different kinds of photography. I kind of got known for bondage photography for a while because they used to call me “The New Bettie Page”. I did them all — the centerfolds, and covers, and spreads. I didn’t do Playboy at first because I am not the busty girl next door. I eventually ended up being in Playboy three times in “Sex in Cinema,” and they saw I was perfect for their new magazine they were promoting: Oui magazine. I was still living at home with my parents and I did a layout for Oui owned by Playboy. We were living on a wonderful property with big oak trees and there was a renter living on the premises
who was a nice young man. He brought the Oui to my dad and said, “Whoa man, this is really cool. She’s gorgeous. Look at your daughter!” That kind of ended my life with my parents for many, many years. That was it. I didn’t see them for a long time until the mid-eighties. A good ten years — I had many adventures and I made all of those movies in that period.
Serena on the Silver Screen
I think I was a spy in my first hardcore film. It was a feature, but I believe it was probably in the courtroom when I actually first saw myself on screen. I know I’ve seen a lot of my movies on video. I remember seeing enormous billboards of myself and thinking how striking that was. They were advertisements and the posters covered walls of construction areas in Manhattan.
Getting into baring my body was no “moral” choice. I was completely at ease in my nakedness. Nudes were in abundance in etchings and prints about the house. They were a part of my mother’s collection. The figures on the walls of my childhood are nude women by the seashore in the moonlight. Having modeled for my father who was a phenomenal photographer and he raised a professional photographer [Daniel Gray], I was completely natural in front of a still camera.
For the first time, Serena divulged what it was like to be a temple housing an overabundance of sexual energy and how she was unequipped to harness that kind of potent power. In a kind of masochistic response to the force, physical discomfort became a side effect of some of her onscreen liaisons.