Defiance

by R. S. Broadhead

  For weeks, I did the same thing—sleep and pace. Sophia hadn’t been back since that first visit. Neither had the talkative Grudger, which made me wonder if they’d found out he was chatting with inmates. Others had given me my food instead, ones who’d remained quiet. I needed something to do. I looked around, trying to think of what I could possibly do in here. Narrowing my eyes at the bed, I picked up the mattress and studied the frame. I was determined to make what I needed to train with weapons. My injuries still nagged at me, but at least now the pain was tolerable, and I could move.

  First, I took the sheet off the bed and ripped it into two pieces. Using the frame, I tied them around the beams overhead. I knotted them so they would provide support for my body weight. I picked my feet up off the frame and tested them a few times, doing pull-ups. They seemed strong enough to work. I let go, landing on my feet, and went back to the bed. I chunked the thin mattress close to the door, making the dust storm around, almost like it was angry. I coughed a few times and waved it away from my face. I kicked at the leg of the bed until it wobbled. I finished pulling it off with a final yank.

  “Sounds like a damn war going on in there,” the familiar raspy voice said. I was so focused on what I was doing that I hadn’t noticed the plate of food a few feet from me.

  “Maybe there is a war going on,” I managed to get out. Beating on the bed wore me out. I was pouring sweat and out of breathe. “Thought they busted your ass since you haven’t been back.”

  He chuckled. “I’m too slick for them to bust. I’m Ryker, by the way. Is it okay for me to call you Cade?” he asked. The uncertainty was thick in his voice. He was scared. Why be scared of a man behind a closed, stone door? I ignored that thought, even though it made me want to laugh. I had a pretty descent reputation as a fighter, but nothing that should terrify others.

  “Sure. It’s nice to meet you, Ryker.”

  He let out a sigh of relief. “Sooo, what exactly are you doing in there?” His fear was replaced by curiosity. “Never heard anything like all that coming out of one of these cells. Crying? Yes. Snoring? Yes. Senseless talking? Yes. Hell, I’ve even heard some taking a massive shit that sounds like the nasty ass food they’ve got is killing them. But not this.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh this time. I sounded like a stranger. I didn’t think I would ever laugh again, and that made me instantly like Ryker. I turned back to the piece of metal I had waiting on me, and pushed it against the wall, trying to curve it. “I’m using what I can in here to train,” I finally said.

  “Train?”

  I smiled at the shock in his voice, and it made me push the piece of metal even harder. “That’s what I said.”

  “Are you going to try to break out of here? They’ll kill you, Cade.”

  Death would be too sweet for me. They knew that. There was no way they would let me have the easy way out. Sophia’s face flashed into my mind as the metal started to curve upward.

  “Relax, Ryker. No one is breaking out. I just need something to do to take my mind off being so damn bored in here. If I don’t do this, I’m going to go crazy.” There was nothing for me on the other side of these walls. I couldn’t go back to my old life…ever. Although the thought of breaking out sounded pretty sweet, and I couldn’t help but think about it.

  “Pssh, don’t freak me out like that, dude! So what kind of training you trying to do?”

  I flipped the curved piece of metal around in my hand a few times to get a good feel for its weight. “I’m trying to make a weapon. The best I can do is a small hand sickle.”

  He let out a low whistle. “I like to play around in my apartment. You know, practice fighting. I know Grudgers aren’t supposed to do that kind of stuff, but still…I want to be able to take care of myself.” He sounded embarrassed, like he’d just admitted his deepest, darkest secret.

  “There’s nothing wrong with that. Self-defense should be a priority for everyone, even Grudgers. The only reason they don’t want you to learn how to fight is because they want you weak, so they can be the alphas.” The thought of the other Demorals made my blood boil as rage pounded against my head, making me see white. They preyed on the weak.

  “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot coming from you. Hey, I gotta run, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “Till tomorrow.” After he left, I continued my project. I kicked at the other leg until I could pull it off and do the same thing to it as the other. I needed one for each hand. With the fabric from the pillowcase, I ripped it into two long pieces, for hand wraps. After I finished, I was completely famished. The cold food tasted rubbery in my mouth, and it smelled like garbage, but I devoured every bit of it. I needed to keep my strength up, determined not to be worn down.

  I walked around the room a few times, trying to let my food settle. I paused to pick up the hand wraps and started covering my wrist, then between each of my fingers. Rotating my wrists, then circling around the stone wall, I warmed up my joints for my first workout. Starting with short jabs, I worked my way into hooks, and various combos until my bloody fists ached. Bits of stone lay at my feet, which I shifted around with my foot while stretching my arms. The muscles screamed with soreness, but in a good way. One that made me feel alive. Carefully, I unwrapped my hands to find the skin torn off the knuckles. Wincing slightly, I ran cold water over my wounds. I was exhausted, so I pulled the thin mattress until it lay flat on the ground and crawled on top of it. I felt every piece of rock and dip in the floor. The mattress didn’t do much, but at least it was something. I glanced over at my destruction of the wall and smiled before I drifted off to sleep.

  Ryker was true to his word and came back the next day. In fact, he came to visit me everyday for at least a few minutes, sometimes longer. He seemed to be as lonely as I was. Each month that passed by, he let me know, and I started to keep track of it by scratching the wall with a piece of stone. For the first while, I stayed on my toes expecting Sophia, but after so many weeks, I let my guard down. Soon, I realized that’s what they wanted. She would pop in when I least expected.

  “Here, I got you something,” Ryker said one day after he pushed in my food. A jump rope lay on the tray next to my molded piece of bread. I picked it up and examined it, feeling rather excited about my new toy.

  “You didn’t have to get me anything,” I said, unable to stop smiling.

  He sniffled on the other side of the stone door. “I know. I figured you’d like it since you’ve been working out and stuff so much.”

  “Where did you get it? Usually they don’t let Grudgers have stuff like this.” Anything that may help another class get fit or help them fight back was prohibited.

  “I stole it from Theo. He’s too damn skinny to be using it anyway. I mean, I rarely saw him pick it up, so he shouldn’t miss it.” The fact that he risked a beating or worse made me realize how close of friends we had become. It was a weird realization, especially since I had never laid eyes on Ryker and couldn’t pick him out of a line up.

  “Just be careful. Those Demorals are ruthless.” I thought back to the beating they gave me. They actually enjoyed every second of it.

  “I will. I’ll see what else I can find for you.”

  I protested, but got no response, letting me know he had walked away before we could argue over it. Despite the uneasiness I felt for Ryker’s extremely risky move, I couldn’t help but try it out. It took me a few times to get back into the groove of jumping, but when I did, I was lightning.

  “Whhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhh,” the wail caught me off guard, causing the rope to trip me. I sailed down to the floor and crashed face first into the toilet. The bitter, saltiness of blood filled my mouth, and from the throbbing sensation of my lip, I knew it was swelling. I rolled over to find Sophia standing with her back to me, facing the wall. Her shoulders bounced up and down as she continued to scream and cry out. She wore a thin dress that hung very low over her back. Scars from a severe lashing were across her skin. A few were fresh, open, and
bleeding.

  An electric blue whip from an invisible force screamed through the air behind her and struck her again, causing blood to spatter against my wall like someone threw red paint. I didn’t know how to process what I was seeing. I needed to get my body to react, but it was difficult to begin to comprehend what was happening to her. Another agonizing scream charged my rage and moved my legs. Without thinking, I ran to step between her and this invisible evil. The whip caught me in the cheek and sliced into me like a razor. Warm blood rose to the surface. The whip came at me again, but this time I was ready. I held up my forearm, letting it wrap around, and I snatched it. I threw it to the ground, watching it squirm and wiggle like a dying snake at my feet until the electricity seemed to leave it an average whip.

  Sophia’s soft cries made me jump. I was so pissed at what was causing the punishment; I forgot she was there. When I turned to face her, she was staring back with the familiar black sockets. “Thank you.” Her voice was so tiny and frail as it shook.

  “Anytime,” I managed to get out. I didn’t expect her to talk to me after the last visit. I reached out to touch her hand, but before I could, she lifted into the air, suspended by an unforgivable force. She didn’t say anything. It appeared she was in some type of trance. Her hair floated around her. No matter her wounds, she was still soft and pure as snow. It was as though time stood still, and I could count each tiny freckle that speckled her face. A shimmery white light began wrapping around her, and once completely covered, she vanished.

  Four

  I stumbled back a few steps and tripped over the mattress on the floor, hitting the ground with a breath-taking grunt. The confusion, made my head pound, and I’m sure the blow from earlier didn’t help. I wished I could have had a minute to just talk to her. I wanted to know if she remembered me. More than anything, I wanted to apologize. I kicked the floor a few times, but it did little to contain the over anxious beast inside. I could still see the look on her face as she was dying, screaming at me to get away from her. My chest tightened at the memory. I rolled to my side, curling into a tight ball. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to block the thoughts. They were eating me alive.

  A few nights later, a constant, warm tapping against my face woke me. I blinked several times, my eyes adjusting to the blur only a few inches away. Hair rained down, covering my face, making me pull back. I swatted it away to find Sophia smiling down at me. Her eyes were glassed over, like a thin white layer covered them. That initially shocked me. Her eyes weren’t hollowed this time. What was going on? Where was she?

  “Momma,” she said, staring at me. She rubbed a finger across my cheek. They were so rough, they practically scratched my skin. “Why can’t I find you?” I sat up, putting a small bit of distance between us. She rushed forward, unwilling to let me escape. She sat on my lap, curving her body into me. Not really sure what else to do, I rubbed lightly across her back. The only time I had been close to another being was sexual intercourse, and that was only when my body desired the release. This was a different contact, far different from sexual desire, one I wasn’t completely comfortable with.

  Obviously, whatever was wrong with her eyes was making her see things other than what was in front of her. She practically purred with delight, grazing the top of her head across my chin. Bubbled scabs projected through her thinning hair.

  “What do you mean? Why can’t you find me?” I asked, playing along, desperate to find out if this was indeed how Angels treated their souls.

  “You’re not here. Or if you are, I haven’t been able to find you. Are you hiding from me?” she asked. Her voice rose, emotions breaking through. She thought she had been abandoned. “Why would you do that to me?”

  “I didn’t. I’ve been trying to find you too,” I said, hoping it calmed her down and gave her some type of serenity. This was the only time I had been able to say anything to her without her being hit by something. She nestled closer. “So, where are you?”

  Her body stiffened slightly. “It’s scary here. She’s always watching me. When I do bad, I get punished. It hurts so much. Most of the time I try to hide. But she always finds me.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to help. Get her away from wherever she was, but I couldn’t. Not in here at least. My jaw clenched tight, trying to control the sadness mixed with anger. “I’m not alone. There are others here, too. Kids like me that just want to go home. Can you take me home?” The burning in the back of my throat made my eyes water.

  “I’d love to take you home.” It was the best response I could give her. “When you say she hurts you…is that what happened to your eyes?”

  She reached up and touched them. “Yes. She can heal things. She only does it just to make them hurt again.”

  “She sounds like a monster.” All I needed was a few minutes with whomever she was talking about, and they would think twice about ever laying another finger on her or anyone else. She was an innocent child for crying out loud!

  Her body became as rigid as a board. “They’re looking for me. I have to go.” She looked up at me. “Promise me you’ll come get me,” she said, her voice full of hope.

  “I promise.” I wanted to mean those words, but with my current situation, I didn’t see how that was ever going to happen. There was no way I was going to tell her any different though. She sat up and gave me one last look before disappearing. I could still feel her body even though I was alone now. I stared down, not really sure how to act about what had happened. It was driving me crazy not being able to go after her. How could I live through an eternity of this?

  I glanced up at the boards running over head. Suddenly, they looked very inviting, beckoning me. If I died that would end my pain, but not hers. Was I willing to take that selfish way out? If I died, I wouldn’t join her wherever she was. I was soulless; therefore, I’d be no more. I didn’t have an afterlife.

  I stood and walked over to the toilet in the corner. Standing on the rim of the bowl, I ran a hand over the wood. A piece of it splintered off, lodging deep into my finger. The sheets were already torn in pieces, waiting to wrap around my neck. Within a short moment I could leave this place. Not like anyone would miss me. Anyone I knew on the outside had probably forgotten about me. I was the least of their concern. Once word spread that I was dead, people would rejoice. The vile way all of them wanted me sentenced before them so they could watch. The only thing they would regret is not getting to see me do it. I jumped down, my head swimming, trying to fight with the part of me that thought this was a good idea.

  I couldn’t do it. One day maybe Grim would see that I paid my time and release me. It was a long shot, but I had to hope. I needed to hope, or the sheet around my neck would win. I sat down, staring at it.

  “Cade.” Ryker’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.

  My eyes burned. Hours I had sat in the same spot, staring at the beams.

  “Cade?” he asked again, his voice a little more panicked this time.

  “Yeah,” I barely got out.

  He let out a sigh of relief. “Don’t do that to me again. I thought you had done something stupid in there. I really don’t like going in and cleaning up dead bodies, you know.” Something loud sounded off in the distance, followed by screams.

  I snapped out of my trance and went to the door, leaning close to the hole at the bottom. “What’s going on out there?” More screams exploded, drowning the last part of my question.

  “Someone tried to escape. It was time for their shower, and he tried to overpower his escort. The Demorals are making an example of him now.”

  “What do you mean, “example”? What are they doing to him?”

  “They’re beating him to death in front some of the other prisoners, so they know not to try the same thing.”

  I couldn’t wrap my head around his words. That was against everything Demorals stood for. There was protocol. Yes, if a prisoner escaped they should be punished, but only at Grim’s command. It seemed these Demo
rals were taking matters into their own hands.

  “How can they do that? Grim doesn’t allow stuff like that to happen unless he gives the orders.”

  “Things have changed.” The bitterness was clear as day in his voice.

  “What are you talking about?” I dreaded hearing the answer to my question. It couldn’t be anything good if things like this were happening outside this wall.

  “Grim’s gone. It happened a little while after you got put in here.”

  What little bit of hope I had of being released any time in the future diminished. Grim ruled over Nekroun Earth. How could he just disappear? Fate’s face flashed in my mind. It had to be her. With all the rumors I had heard, who else would it be? But how could the Demorals let anything happen to him? They were his army, his guardians. They should have laid down their own lives to save him.

  “I don’t understand. Is he dead?” More screams sounded. Something loud echoed down the hall, making the things in my room shake.

  “No one knows what happened. One day he was just gone. So Fate and Paradan have basically taken over everything. You know what that means? Everything has gone to shit,” he answered before I could. “You’re probably better off in there. Things here are getting insane.”

  I should find relief in his words. I glanced back up to the beams and the dangling sheets that seemed to be toying with me. Grim missing was just another reason for me to get out of this cell. Although I had no idea what I could do to better anything Paradan and Fate had destroyed. Maybe find him? If he wasn’t dead, that was. There had to be a good reason he left. There just had to be. Grim wouldn’t abandon everything he built for just anything.