All He Ever Wanted

by ALLISON LEIGH,

  “Well, you should have met some fine boy here in Thunder Canyon instead of going off to foreign parts like New Mexico,” Tanya said wryly. But her eyes were sympathetic. “Why didn’t you say something before now?”

  She lifted her shoulder. Tugged the length of her ponytail over her shoulder, only to toss it back again. “I don’t know. I guess…the more people I tell, the more real it is. And believe me, I felt like it was pretty real already.”

  Tanya squeezed her hand. “And it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact your SUV was outside of the coach’s house last weekend? Never mind. Your expression is plain enough.” A loud commotion sounded near the front of the grill.

  The team had arrived.

  And despite Faith’s intention to leave, she couldn’t make herself do it.

  She sat there, her vision pinpointing on the door as the players trooped in, one after another. Todd Gilmore had Erik on his shoulder and both of them ducked way down to get through the doorway.

  Cameron and his assistant coaches came in last.

  Faith’s heart chugged.

  In seconds, though, he was surrounded by a crowd of people, whooping and hollering and chanting.

  “I have to go,” she whispered to her friend. “I can’t do this.”

  “If it feels wrong,” Tanya murmured, “then you shouldn’t.” She leaned forward and hugged her quickly. “Question is, what feels wrong?”

  Faith slid off her bar stool. She fumbled with her coat. She could go out through the kitchen. Cameron would never know she’d been there. She stepped behind a table. Scooted around a high chair that held a sleeping toddler.

  Made it to the kitchen.

  And looked over her shoulder.

  It was all wrong.

  Why could she swing on the end of a rope in a canyon if she had to, but not face up to the man who held her heart in his hands, whether he knew it or not?

  She squared her shoulders.

  Swallowed the panic that wanted to nip at her.

  And turned around.

  She made her way to the front entrance. The door was still open, and cold air swept in around the cluster of people surrounding Cameron. Faith slid her arms into her coat. Her heart was in her throat. She sidestepped, and there he was.

  The smile was on his face. But it wasn’t evident in his deep brown eyes.

  And when he saw her standing there, she knew down in her very bones that she was the reason for that.

  And it made her want to weep all over again.

  She moistened her lips. Stepped a little closer. “Congratulations on the win.” It seemed silly to offer her hand. And hugging him was too painful to contemplate. So instead, she pushed her hands in her coat pockets. “You’re going to be a hero in this town for the next few decades.”

  “The kids are the heroes,” he said smoothly. He nodded at someone’s laughing comment, then closed his hand over Faith’s elbow. “Excuse us for a minute.” He drew her outside onto the wooden sidewalk and let go of her the second they were clear of the doorway.

  Faith swallowed, but the knot in her throat remained, nearly suffocating her.

  “Are you going to hyperventilate if I ask how you’re doing?” His voice was even. Cool.

  She flushed. Shook her head. “I’m fine.” Miserable, more like. “And…I’m sorry. For the way I ran out like that.”

  “Not a problem.” His voice was as bland as it had ever been. “I got the message. I just wanted you to know that Erik’s still expecting you to go tobogganing with him again. Your choice whether you do or not.”

  She felt as if he’d slapped her. “I have no intention of disappointing Erik.”

  His jaw cocked a little in the first indication that he wasn’t as removed as he appeared. “Good.” His gaze shifted past her. “Looks like Romano’s gearing up to write some parking tickets. You should move your SUV before he gets to you.” Then he turned and went back inside.

  Faith shivered.

  The walls inside The Hitching Post were bulging with townspeople. Friends. Co-workers.

  Never in her life had she felt more alone.

  Chapter Thirteen

  One of the hardest things Cam ever did was to leave Faith standing on the sidewalk outside the grill.

  But he couldn’t stay there with her. He couldn’t bear to see her hazel eyes glaze with panic if he so much as mentioned a future.

  And now that that particular door had been opened inside him, he couldn’t be around her and not think about the future.

  So he walked into the restaurant where it felt stuffy and close because of all the bodies packed inside. He immediately spotted Erik. He’d moved on from Gilmore to Romance—who had gotten to play briefly that night and was, not surprisingly, trying to hog credit for a win that was rightfully owned by the entire team.

  Cam left Erik be and headed to the bar. On his way, though, someone slapped a long-neck into his hand.

  Good enough for him. The beer was cold and maybe, if he drank enough of them, he’d forget the stinging sensation inside his chest. Mayor Brookhurst appeared, looking as self-satisfied as he ever did. “Come on over here, Cam. Want to introduce you around. Have you met Caleb Douglas?” He gestured to a silver-haired man wearing a Stetson on his head and turquoise on his belt buckle.

  Cam stuck out his hand. “Mr. Douglas. It’s a pleasure to meet you. A person can’t live in Thunder Canyon without having heard the Douglas name a time or two.” Or twenty, since the man seemed to own half the town, and a lot of the land surrounding it. And for Cam, the greeting was automatic. A throwback to the days of schmoozing clients. But just because he’d retained the ability didn’t mean he cared about the life he’d left behind.

  Which was a revelation he owed to Faith.

  Who couldn’t face the notion of a future that included him.

  “Fine game tonight,” the man drawled, fortunately unaware of Cam’s preoccupied thoughts. “Looks like your boy over there’s recovered from his incident with my mine. Would’ve come by to see how he was doing myself, but I’ve been tied up with business. Understand my wife, Adele, went by the hospital, though. She assured me he was well on the mend.”

  “He was. And—” Cam looked over when he heard a crash of glasses. He wasn’t even surprised when his son stood in the middle of the fracas, looking innocent. “As you can see, he’s still keeping things lively.”

  Caleb’s pale green eyes looked amused. “Nothing like a son.” He settled his hat again. “Brookhurst here’s been singing your praises, but I prefer to draw my own conclusions. Be looking forward to seeing your name on the ballot for council member. It’s sometimes good to have new blood from people committed to this old town.” He lifted his hand, acknowledging someone’s hail. “I’m sure we’ll be talking again,” he said as he moved off.

  Cam immediately headed for Erik, where one of the waitresses had already begun sweeping up the mess. He hooked his arm around his boy and lifted him clear.

  “I wanna talk to Faith.” Erik’s overtired gaze was roving over the people.

  “Not tonight. She’s gone home.”

  “Da-ad!”

  “You can call her tomorrow.” And damned if he didn’t envy his kid for that fact. “You might not need any sleep, but your old man does.” Cam would first have to eradicate Faith from his thoughts in order to get some sleep, but he had no intention of sharing that particular nugget.

  “I gotta get my basketball from Todd. He was gonna get all the guys to sign it for me.” Erik squirmed out of Cam’s grasp and headed for the knot of players that had commandeered several tables.

  Cam watched him go.

  “Congratulations on the win.” Chris Taylor stopped next to Cam. “Next thing you know, the town’ll be expecting you to do this during football season, too.”

  “Gotta get through baseball first.” He didn’t for a second believe Faith’s brother just happened to be hanging around The Hitching Post for the post-game celebration. As far as Cam had
been able to tell, Dr. Chris Taylor rarely did anything without purpose.

  “Faith was pretty happy to hear you’ve got Erik starting up with the climbing. And that he’s going to do Little League.” The doctor made no effort at being subtle.

  “She likes my son,” he said neutrally.

  “She loves you,” Chris said flatly.

  The sting in his chest was more like a wrecking ball plowing through him. “She has a funny way of showing it,” he muttered. He didn’t for a minute believe that Faith would’ve told her brother about the episode at his house, either. And just because he hadn’t done anything about it just yet, didn’t mean he didn’t plan to.

  Even above the raucous music and voices inside the grill, he could hear the doctor’s sigh. “I’m gonna cut to the chase, here,” the man said after a moment. “One, because I think you’re a decent guy who—judging by the glare you’re giving me—has fallen for my thick-headed sister. Two, because my damn pager is liable to go off any second again, and I’m gonna have to book.”

  “You don’t have to cut to anything,” Cam assured him, his voice tight. “When it comes to your sister, there’s nothing I need to discuss.” And “fallen” didn’t begin to cover what he felt where Faith was concerned.

  “Do you love her, or not?”

  Cam’s molars ached from his jaw clenching so tight. “What does it matter? She’s made her feelings clear.”

  “She ran scared, I suppose.” Chris didn’t look surprised. “And didn’t bother to tell you why.”

  Cam’s patience was nil. “Her reasons are her own.” Erik had begun bouncing the basketball on the wooden bar. But before he could get over there, one of the waitresses whisked it away with a grin and replaced it smoothly with a bowl of ice cream.

  A successful sidetrack maneuver.

  “Ordinarily, I’d agree with you,” Chris said. “But you know what? I’d like to see my sister be happy again. I thought she was on that track lately. Ever since Erik went down the shaft, anyway.”

  “Right. She adores my kid. I know.”

  “Man, you two are suited,” the doctor muttered. “Yeah. Faith likes kids. Adores ’em. Which has made it pretty damn hard for her to adjust to the fact that she can’t have any.”

  Cam jerked. “What?”

  Chris shook his head. “What the hell do you two talk about when you’re together? Or is it just a sex thing?”

  Cam’s fist curled. “Don’t go there.”

  “Then try this one on for size, and I hope to hell it fits, ’cause when she finds out I’m talking about her business, I’m going to be in the doghouse with her, big time. Dammit.” He pulled his pager out suddenly and peered at the display. “The bastard she’d been married to walked out on her about two days after she learned there were no medical miracles that would help her conceive. But Jess wanted kids as bad as she did. Only instead of dealing with the blow the way you’d expect after being married to someone for six years, he told her he couldn’t waste any more time waiting for the impossible to happen, so he went out and got himself a woman who could provide them. I don’t consider it a great loss. The guy never went out of his way to make Faith feel particularly special. Hell, she told me once the guy proposed in the drive-thru at a fast-food restaurant. Just handed over the bag of tacos with a ‘wanna get married?’ and that was it. No ring. No nothing. But…well, there you go. She still loved him.”

  “I’m not her ex-husband,” Cam gritted. “And if she can’t see that—”

  “Maybe she just needs some help opening her eyes,” the other man suggested. “So she can stop looking at the past and start looking at the future. Figure maybe you might know something about having to do that.” He slid his pager back on his belt and headed for the door.

  Cam frowned, watching the man depart. Then he exhaled and went over to collect his son. But Erik was still eating the ice cream, so Cam stood behind him at the crowded bar, waiting, while Taylor’s words drummed inside his head. He stared at the painting of the Shady Lady. But he didn’t see the curving limbs discreetly covered by some flimsy fabric.

  He saw Laura. As clear as if she were standing in front of him. And she was smiling the same smile she’d worn the day of their checkerboard picnic—as if he’d done something particularly pleasing to her.

  Then she turned, her black hair drifting.

  And she was gone.

  Okay, Laura. I heard you.

  Cam’s hand closed over Erik’s shoulder. “Come on, son. Let’s go home.”

  “I’m not finished with my ice cream.” Cam hefted the boy up on his shoulder, and handed him the bowl. “We’ll bring the bowl back later.”

  Then he carried his boy outside and they walked all the way back to the high school to collect his car.

  They planned the entire while.

  “Um, Blondie?”

  It was Saturday morning and Faith was at the station putting the finishing touches on the budget for Jim. “Just a sec, Derek.” After she got the paperwork out of the way, she was going to go see Cameron. She’d already told Jim that morning that she needed a few days off, and he’d agreed to cover her territory.

  Maybe Faith had ruined things too badly for repair where her relationship with Cam was concerned.

  But she couldn’t get through another night without doing something. So if that meant taking the chance of him turning her away, or worse, that she’d gain his pity, then too bad.

  Either way, she wasn’t going to be any worse off than she already was.

  And if she had to, she could use the few days off to fall apart.

  God, she hoped she didn’t have to.

  She hoped she could make Cameron understand. That he wouldn’t hate her for being so afraid, so—

  “Yo. Faith.” Derek’s voice was a little more insistent. “Seriously. You might want to check this out.”

  She set down her pen and turned her chair to face him. “Check what out?”

  Derek was standing at the windows that overlooked Main. He pointed. “Looks like the high school marching band out there.”

  Faith joined him. Sure enough. There was the band in the same style uniforms they’d worn when she’d attended school there, marching right down the center of the street heading in their direction. “Maybe it’s because of last night’s game. Winning the state championship.”

  “Didn’t hear about any parade being planned,” Derek countered. “They’d have had to have a permit. Fire would’ve been required to be on hand.”

  A few other men, still in their turn-outs from the call they’d just been out on, joined them at the window. One of them pointed. “Isn’t that the coach?”

  Faith nodded. Cameron walked alongside the band, but she couldn’t see much more than his head from this angle. “Definitely because of last night’s game.” She wanted to press her nose against the windowpane, but made herself go back to her desk and the budget.

  Telling herself she would go to Cam was one thing. Seeing the man before she’d expected to—though it didn’t change her mind now that it was made up—made her feel positively weak in the knees.

  And the last thing she needed was for Derek and his band of merry men to see just how female she could be. She’d never live down their ribbing.

  It wasn’t long, however, before she could hear the beat of the big bass drums and the pipe of the band instruments.

  And she found herself looking toward the window despite her intentions otherwise. Looking, then getting back up, and moving over.

  On the sidewalk outside the building, she could see a crowd was forming. People out enjoying the crisp, clear Saturday morning. A few police officers in uniforms. Cheryl Lansky, even, with her headset still in place and her phone cord dangling back toward the doorway of the police station.

  The band had stopped moving down the street and was now marching in place.

  “What’s that they’re playing?” someone asked.

  “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” Derek sing
songed.

  “Go back to baking,” someone else told him and they laughed.

  Faith’s palms pressed flat against the glass. She could see Cameron far more clearly now, as he rounded the front of the band. He wore blue jeans and a charcoal gray shirt with a down vest over it, and his hair rippled a little in the faint breeze as he stopped to speak to the drum major.

  Then Erik darted into view, his young legs pumping as he kept ahead of several members of the basketball team who jogged behind him. He held a flat box over his head and as she watched, Cam hastily reached over to rescue it before the boy dropped it.

  The band kept playing.

  And Cam turned to face the building.

  Faith stood, rooted in place.

  “What in the hell is that man doing?”

  Faith barely heard. Her gaze was glued to Cam’s face. He’d seen her through the window. No question. And her heart couldn’t make up its mind whether to stall completely or beat as frantically as a hummingbird. Particularly when Cam and Erik walked toward the building, bypassing the gathering crowd.

  “He’s coming in here.”

  Faith followed Cam’s progress through the window. He disappeared around the side of the building, and a moment later, came through the door.

  The firefighters scattered like startled mice. Any other time and she’d have laughed herself silly at the sight of six large men trying to look casual and failing miserably.

  Any other time.

  Right now, she couldn’t do more than stand there in front of the window, without a coherent thought in her head.

  Cam pointed at a desk chair and Erik obediently sat and took the box back from his dad. He was grinning as if he’d just discovered a forgotten gold nugget in his pants from the mine shaft.

  Then Cam walked right up to her.

  She tucked her hands behind her back to hide the fact that they were shaking.

  His brown gaze roved over her face, his expression assuring her he knew just what she was doing. “Maybe you better sit down,” he said after a long moment. “In case you pass out or something.”