DIRTY REBOUND

by Mira Lyn Kelly

  He catches my chin. “You didn’t let him down. You dropped everything the second you knew he needed you. And even if Matty had to wait, it wasn’t long, and he was with his father.”

  I nod, but that guilt is still chewing at me. And not just that.

  I pinch my lips together.

  I need to know where we stand. If maybe it’s on the same page… Only, I’ve spent too much time imagining Rux’s reaction if I ask him flat-out and his feelings haven’t changed.

  “I got worried about what he might think, seeing us that way. I mean, I know this isn’t forever. That we’re… just having some fun and all.” It's a copout, but I can’t risk damaging our friendship. So I pause, waiting to see if maybe he’ll disagree. If he’ll show me that wildly passionate side and flip me over so he’s on top, press kisses against my mouth around telling me how he’s decided he’ll never give me up.

  But instead of telling me this is the thing he never expected either, the happily ever after he didn’t think he wanted but now can’t live without, he takes my hand in his and pulls it up to his mouth for a quick kiss. “The best kind of fun, Sunshine. But I get it, and we’ll be careful around Matty. I don’t want him to be disappointed or confused when we put the just back in our friendship either.”

  That place I never expected Ruxton Meyers to touch starts to crumble. He doesn’t want more. He doesn’t want less either, which is the only reason I hold it together.

  Ducking my head, I breathe through the raw pain in my chest.

  I thought I’d braced for it. I thought I’d talked myself out of hoping. But apparently, not so much.

  This isn’t the start of our forever after all.

  It’s okay. It’s good I know. Yes, it hurts. But I’ve had to accept worse.

  And I’ll accept this.

  I knew what Rux’s limits were going in, and no matter how good this feels, they haven’t changed. I can live with that, and even when this thing between us has run its course—our friendship will still be enough. More.

  “Hey, Cammy.” The eyes that meet mine are completely devoid of the humor and joking that always live within. “I will never let that little boy down. I’d crawl over hot coals for him. You know I’ll always be there for the both of you, right?”

  I nod, my eyes filling with tears. “I do. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”

  “Funny, it’s one of the reasons I love you too.”

  Chapter 19

  Rux

  I hang with Cammy as long as I can, using the living room to catch up on some calls while she works in her office. I feel about a million times better now that I’ve gotten to hold her and talk to her, find out where her head was at with everything after the other night. Yeah, there was that minute when I thought she might be trying to feel me out about taking things to a more serious level. But I’m chalking it up to not enough sleep on my end. Because then she’d seemed fine, and seriously, Cammy knows better than to get any ideas about me.

  And I sure as hell know better than to let myself get ideas about her.

  Matty blows in like a whirlwind after school, all hugs and math sheets and news about the play coming up. Which I’m fucking bummed falls on a game night, so there’s no chance I can make it. Matty understands, but it still sucks.

  There’s a late practice, so I haul out with another round of hugs and Cammy giving me that sunshine smile that makes me wish I didn’t have to go, but I’m already pushing it enough that by the time I make it to the rink, I’ve got to run from the parking lot to make practice on time.

  “Yo, Rux,” Assistant Coach Mateo calls out, waving me over. “GM wants to see you in his office.”

  I stop in my tracks, mentally rolling back through the last few days for anything obvious that would have me called in to the principal’s office. I did walk through the hotel lobby on my hands—but I’m good at it. I stayed away from all the guests. I had all my clothes on. Wait, did I? Yeah, I did.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  If I didn’t do anything seriously stupid, then there’s only one reason I can think for why I’d be getting called up there.

  A trade.

  Cammy’s eyes flash through my mind. Matty’s grin.

  Christ, I don’t want to give them up. I don’t—

  “He say why?” They never say why.

  “Just to send you up when you got here.”

  I drop my bag at the security desk and then take the stairs two at a time to the second floor where the offices are located, scrolling through the hockey feeds as I go. No news of a Slayers trade. My agent didn’t know anything when I talked to him earlier.

  I take a breath, every loss, blown shot, and missed opportunity rolling through my mind on fast forward. I stretch my neck and repeat three times, “I’m not getting traded.”

  The General Manager’s door opens before I knock, and Coach Adkins meets my eyes with a glare. “About time. Jesus, Meyers, get in here.”

  The office is packed with three coaches and a guy who looks about as comfortable as I feel.

  From behind his desk, Marty Sheely waves a meaty hand between us. “Danny Whalen, meet your new captain, Ruxton Meyers. Rux, Danny’s our new center, coming up from the farm team. Why don’t you show him around.”

  I start to breathe again. Give the universe a mental high five and, after shaking a few hands and promising the GM I’ll get the kid situated, get out of there.

  Ten minutes later, we’re down in the locker room where I’m getting Danny and the team up to speed.

  “Okay, so Popov and O’Brian both sport chubs in here—”

  “Jesus, one fucking time,” O’Brian bitches.

  “So if you feel something graze your thigh… my money’s on them. Vsev is not the guy to go to for advice on birth control. You want to stay out of jail, probably better keep your distance from Bowie, Static, and Diesel. Got a picture of your mom on your phone?”

  Danny nods, his mouth caught between a smile and frown. “Yeah?”

  “Don’t show it to Bear. Tucker’s prickly. If Grady here looks like he’s feeling you out, don’t get excited. His brother’s getting married this summer and it’s looking like there’s no line he won’t cross to make sure he’s got a date when he goes home.”

  “Come on, man,” Grady sighs, shaking his head. “Loan me Cammy for the weekend and I’ll leave the rookie alone.”

  Dude. Did not.

  Grady’s hands come up as he backs away. “Whoa, kidding, Rux. Kidding.”

  Better be.

  Vassar flashes that thing he calls a smile. “So in case you missed it, don’t joke about Cammy.”

  “Words to live by,” O’Brian chimes in.

  I shake out my fist. See whose next. “And Kellog… Kellog’s good people. We should hang out more.”

  A whistle blows and I look around. “Time’s up. You’ll have to meet the rest of the team on your own. Team, here’s what you need to know about Whalen, he’s fast as fuck, hungry as hell, spent two years with the farm team, grew up in Virginia, likes oatmeal but not oatmeal cookies, favorite song is ‘Believe’ by Cher, and has a pet snake he isn’t allowed to keep at the hotel and needs a volunteer to house and feed it until he finds a place of his own.”

  I slap the kid on the back and head over to my stall to suit up for practice. My phone pings and thinking it might be Cammy, I check. It’s from the Slayers PR guy. And he wants to know what the hell is up with me and Greg’s reporter/stalker Stuart Waters.

  Ah shit.

  Cammy

  “I don’t get it. He’s suggesting that I’ve got something to do with how the team is performing this season.” I fill my glass from the tap and slide back into my chair at the kitchen table. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  Rux is sitting beside me, his body language casual, but there’s a tension in his eyes I can’t miss. He’s bothered more than he wants me to know. Enough that he came here straight from practice and hasn’t stuck his head in the fridge yet. />
  “No, it doesn’t. And I don’t think it’s anything we need to worry about. But I wanted to make sure you knew what was going on, since he mentioned you.”

  My hands come up in confusion, because I just don’t get why. Rux shakes his head.

  “Waters has got a thing about Greg. He doesn’t think he would have retired if it weren’t for Julia. He’s been pretty vocal about his lack of confidence when it comes to me taking over as captain, and now he’s gone and blown any shred of credibility he might have had by suggesting that my being with you—Julia’s sister—is cursing the team. It’s bullshit. But there are always a few nut jobs out there.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I’m sorry you have to deal with any of them.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” I lean closer and cover his hand with mine. Smile when he flips his and threads our fingers together. “I don’t love being the downfall of the Slayers Hockey organization,” I tease. “But I’ve been around this stuff since the first time Julia went live.” Granted, I’m not usually called out by name. But there’s been stuff before.

  “Look, I know the security in your building is good, but—”

  “It’s very good.” It’s why Julia picked this place. “Hey, it sounds like this guy is just spouting off. I mean, there isn’t any reason to think it’ll go further, right?”

  If there was, Rux would have led with it.

  “No.” He takes a breath and rubs a hand down his face. “I just don’t like you ending up in the spotlight because of me.”

  My phone starts to vibrate across the table, Jeremy’s name flashing across the screen.

  “Go ahead and get that. It might be about Matty.” He gives my hand a squeeze but doesn’t let go and for some reason it makes my heart beat a little harder for him.

  “Hi Jeremy, what’s up?” I ask, eyes still locked with Rux’s.

  “Cammy, have you seen this article?” he barks through the line, voice tight and loud. “Some asshole called you out as the reason Ruxton Meyers can’t get his shit together on the ice.”

  I close my eyes as heat splashes through my cheeks. When I open them, Rux is still watching, his mouth twisted into a smirk that says he’s heard it and everything else someone could say about his game before. I try to pull my hand free of his, hoping to block the sound, maybe go to the other room. But Rux holds on.

  “I know about it.”

  “Babe, are you okay?”

  Rux raises a brow, the slant of his smile increasing even as his eyes harden. He mouths, Babe?

  Something tells me I’ll never hear that out of Rux’s mouth again.

  “This reporter never should have had your name. Meyers should know how to protect you.”

  “Jeremy—”

  “Look, don’t freak out. I’m coming over.”

  This time I manage to free my hand from Rux’s and push up from my seat. “Jeremy, stop. Thank you, but we’re fine. Rux is here and honestly, I’m not concerned.”

  There’s a pause and I can feel Rux waiting to see how he fills it.

  “Is he… staying?”

  I blink.

  Balls, Rux mouths, and I take a breath, trying not to bristle at the question that’s none of Jeremy’s business.

  “He’s not. It’s one article. There’s no reason to. But if anything changes, I promise to keep you in the loop.”

  Rux

  Waters doesn’t quit, but at least he leaves Cammy out of his smear campaign. The guy has it out for me, and while I normally wouldn’t give two shits about what someone like him is posting, there’ve been rumblings about changes in the Slayers organization beyond pulling Danny Whalen up, and everyone’s feeling more vulnerable than normal.

  I tell the guys it’s bullshit. That the best way we can protect what we have is not to let rumors get in our heads and to focus on our play. We all know it’s true, but when we fall apart in the next two games, it’s clear I failed to drive it home the way they deserve.

  Getting off the plane, the guys are quiet, heading to the cars without the usual trash talk and joking around. We’ll bounce back tomorrow. Tonight, all I want is to see Cammy. I want to get lost in her kiss and her smile and the smell of her hair when I hold her close and bury my face in it. I want that feeling of peace and contentment I only ever really find around her. The calm that doesn’t come easy to me.

  Once I dump my gear in the trunk, I climb into the driver’s seat and pull out my phone to text that I’m on my way. There’s a voicemail from an unknown number. My agent mentioned I’d be getting a call from one of the companies we closed an endorsement deal with last week, so I click through to listen. I’m expecting some overly enthusiastic voice to boom through the line looking to coordinate meetings. I’m not expecting the hesitant voice of the ghost from my past.

  Beth.

  My gut turns to lead and my skin feels itchy and tight as she stammers about getting my number from my mother. How she’s sorry for calling after all this time but a reporter contacted her. That he was asking questions. She didn’t tell him anything, but she thought I should know.

  I disconnect the phone and climb out of the car. I need to breathe. I need to move. I need to put my fist into the concrete pylon in the garage, but somehow there’s enough going on upstairs I don’t do it.

  She didn’t tell him anything.

  It won’t be a story.

  No one is going to know.

  Cammy and Matty won’t—

  I walk a few feet, stop in front of the garbage bin, and vomit.

  Chapter 20

  Rux

  Fucking Jeremy.

  This guy is on my list. And yeah, the last couple weeks haven’t been the most chill of my career, but I’m handling it. And I’m standing firm in my assertion… it’s him, not me, who’s the asshole.

  I get that he wants to spend time with Matty. But lately, the guy seems to be finding one reason after another to be around. Particularly when I’ve got a game night or I’m out of town.

  Case in point, the chode is parked on Cammy’s couch, looking for all the world like he’s settled in for a night at home with his family.

  Babe, I’m already at the store. Just tell me what you need and let me save you a trip.

  What a guy.

  And with the babe business again. Every time he “slips up” it’s followed by that sorry, not sorry shrug and some bullshit about old habits dying hard. I’m never calling her babe again.

  Fuck. Him.

  I should have pushed harder when I offered that grocery service six months ago. Because now Matty’s gone and invited Special Delivery Dad to dinner and Cammy, being the softy she is, said yes.

  My teeth are about to turn to dust with the way I’m grinding them.

  It’s the perfect night to be up against the Epics. I need an outlet. That said, I really don’t want to leave, but O’Brian’s downstairs waiting for me.

  “Time to go?” Cammy asks, looking up from the meal I won’t be able to stay for, but Jeremy will. Matty vaults over the back of the couch, apologizing to his mom even as he skids up to me.

  He grins. “I’ve been practicing jumping the boards so I can be like you.”

  And hell, my heart melts right there, my mind blinking back to that night right before Jeremy moved back. It had been him and me while Cammy was out with the girls. He’d looked up at me with those solemn little eyes and told me he wished I could be his dad.

  I’d had to take a couple of breaths before I could answer. Before I could tell him the truth, that I would have been the luckiest guy in the world if I’d gotten to be his dad. But that I was happy I got the next best thing—which was being his friend.

  He’d wrapped his arms around me while my heart fucking broke.

  There are not words for how much I love this kid.

  Cammy laughs, ruffling his hair, and I go down on my knee and give him a hug.

  “Nice technique, little man.”

  I cut a glance out to the living room where Jeremy is studying his ph
one. Shit. Now, I kind of feel for the guy. Can’t be easy hearing your kid say that to another man. But he wouldn’t have to if he’d realized how damn lucky he was from the start. If he’d stayed instead of throwing away what another man would have been done anything to hold on to.

  “Good luck, Rux. I’m going to watch part of the game tonight and the rest tomorrow after school.”

  “Awesome. Knowing I’ve got you cheering for me from home always makes me play better.”

  Matty skates off and, for a minute, it’s just Cammy and me in the kitchen. Her hand at my chest, soft blue eyes peering up at me. Damn.

  “Have a good game.” Pushing to her toes, she presses a quick kiss to my jaw. My hand at her hip tightens. I want to kiss her so bad right now, but her eyes flare in warning and then she’s backing away with a smile that says no dice.

  “Call me after the game?” she asks quietly.

  “Always.” The way our eyes hold makes it both easier and harder to walk out the door.

  Jeremy gets up, presumably to move in on my spot beside Cammy while she cooks. Dick.

  Except instead of pulling out another babe and standing too close to the girl he gave up any right to seven years ago… he heads toward me.

  “Gotta grab something from the car, I’ll walk out with you.” There’s a clank from the kitchen and then Cammy’s in the doorway, her brows pulled together. He smiles at her. “Back in a minute, Cam.”

  What the hell is this?

  We walk out together, exchanging strained smiles as we head to the elevator.

  He’s up to something and I have a pretty good idea what it is.

  He waits until we’re inside and turns to me. “I want them back.”

  It takes a second for the no-bullshit statement to land but when it does, I shake my head at the balls this asshole has saying that to me, especially within a confined space like this. He can’t even run. “What?”