How I Met My Monster (9780545510172)

by R. L. Stine

  Three guesses.

  But I had no choice. Every sound made me jump. Every loud voice made me want to scream and hide. But I had to pretend everything was normal.

  Until I could get help … from someone.

  I brought two red-and-purple fighting fish to the gym for the pet fair. I set up a big glass aquarium on a table near the front, filled it with water, dropped the mean little fish in, and let them do their thing.

  The gym echoed with the sounds of kids setting up their pet displays. I turned when I heard screams and wild laughter. I saw that Justin Bradshaw’s monkey had escaped and was climbing the exercise rope to the ceiling.

  That started three or four dogs barking. They all began pulling on their leashes, desperate to chase after the monkey. The monkey reached the top of the rope easily. Then it looked down, and I swear it waved to all of us down below.

  Coach Waller appeared and asked for volunteers to climb the rope and bring down the monkey. When no one volunteered, the big dude did it himself. Everyone cheered when he handed the monkey back to Justin.

  The pet fair was off to a great start.

  Four teachers had been chosen as judges. They would move from pet to pet. And the kids would each give a short talk about their pet.

  But the judging wasn’t scheduled until eleven o’clock. I was on the committee to watch over the pets while everyone went to class.

  A big responsibility. The gym emptied out, and there I was — in charge of the monkey and the dogs that wanted to get the monkey, and the cats and lizards and ferrets, and all the other pets.

  Two other kids were supposed to share the pet-watch job. But so far, they hadn’t shown up. So here I was all alone in the big gym with all the animals.

  I decided to phone the office and find out where the other two kids were. But I didn’t get a chance, because the monster broke into the gym.

  The big, furry beast came charging across the floor, grunting and growling.

  “Lissa! Get out of here!” I screeched. “What are you doing here?”

  Her big, furry feet thudded heavily on the gym floor as she ran up to my aquarium on the front table.

  “Lissa — nooooo!” My scream echoed off the tile gym walls.

  She lifted the glass aquarium in both hands. Raised it over her head and tilted it. The water came rushing out onto the floor. Then she tilted the glass over her face — and caught the two fish in her open mouth as they came falling out.

  She swallowed them with a loud glumpf.

  “Lissa — please! Get out of here!” I shrieked.

  She ignored me and heaved the empty aquarium against the wall. The glass shattered into a million pieces.

  “Lissa —” I froze in horror. How could I stop her?

  She opened a wire cage and let two white rats escape and go scrambling across the floor. Then she knocked over three or four cages on the next table. She pulled the monkey from its cage and sent it scampering toward the open door.

  “Lissa — why?” I screamed. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

  She tipped a table over and two ferret cages came crashing to the floor.

  Finally, she turned to me. She pointed a furry paw and waved it at me. “Friends don’t tell on friends!” she growled.

  Then she opened the door to a parrot cage. Pulled the bird from its perch and sent it hopping clumsily across the floor.

  “Lissa — please stop! I won’t tell. I promise. I won’t tell.”

  She spun away and went roaring from the gym.

  Ferrets darted back and forth over my feet. The parrot was flapping its wings frantically, trying to get up to the high gym window. The monkey was chattering like a maniac, chasing after a terrified rabbit.

  I struggled to catch my breath. I could feel the blood pulsing at my temples. I grabbed the wall to steady myself.

  I heard footsteps. I turned and saw Mrs. Fielding walk into the gym. Her eyes bulged and her mouth dropped open in horror.

  “Noah?” She kept blinking and shaking her head as she stared at the tables on their sides, the broken glass, the creatures running free all over the gym.

  She gazed all around. Her eyes landed on me. Of course, I was the only one in the gym.

  “Noah?” she cried. “What have you done? You’d better come with me. Why did you do this? Why, Noah? Are you crazy?”

  Mrs. Fielding pulled me to her classroom. She slid a chair up beside her desk and motioned for me to sit down.

  I knew I was in major trouble. Could I explain my way out of it? How could I ever explain? My hands were suddenly sweaty and left wet fingerprints on the arms of the chair.

  Mrs. Fielding leaned across the desk with her hands folded on the desktop in front of her. “I’m trying to stay calm,” she said. “But I am shocked and horrified. I can’t understand why you went berserk in the gym. You’ve never done anything bad the whole time you’ve been at this school.”

  She waited for me to say something. But my brain was spinning. I just sat and stared at her.

  She reached for the phone on the desk. “I’m sorry. I have to call your parents, Noah.”

  “Y-you can’t,” I stuttered. “They’re away.”

  She squinted at me. “Well, who are you staying with?”

  “Monroe’s parents. But — but … let me explain, Mrs. Fielding.”

  Yes. I decided to explain. I decided to tell her everything. I didn’t want to be thrown out of school for something I didn’t do. Why should my whole life be ruined when it wasn’t my fault at all?

  “Listen to me, Mrs. Fielding,” I said, leaning over the desk. “Please believe me. You know me, right? You know I’m not a troublemaker. It was Lissa. Lissa is a monster. She broke into the gym and wrecked everything. I couldn’t do anything about it. She’s a monster. Really. And I —”

  I heard a cough behind me. I turned to the office door — and saw Lissa watching from the hallway. Watching and listening.

  She was growling under her breath. Her face was locked in an angry scowl. Her eyes were on me. She looked ready to kill.

  “I’ll talk to Lissa,” Mrs. Fielding said. “But I have no choice, Noah. I have to suspend you. I have to send you home. And you need to have your parents call me as soon as you hear from them.”

  “But, Mrs. Fielding —”

  “This is serious, Noah. Very, very serious.” She stood up. “Here. Come with me. Before you go home, I want you to help with the cleanup in the gym.”

  So that’s what happened. I helped the janitor and his staff round up all the escaped pets. Then I helped clean up the incredible mess.

  It was late afternoon by the time the job was finished. The school had emptied out. I packed up my backpack and headed for home.

  My brain was totally messed up. I felt as if my head was going to explode.

  I knew I was doomed. I had squealed on Lissa — and she saw me do it.

  I kept glancing all around. I knew she’d come after me now. And I was right.

  I was a block from home when I felt strong hands grab my shoulders from behind. I turned with a gasp — and saw Lissa. Lissa the monster, covered in fur. Her mouth hung open to reveal her yellow, pointed teeth.

  “Bean.” She growled my name angrily. “Bean — you told on me. You should never tell on a friend.”

  “I … I had no choice,” I said.

  “Friends don’t tell on friends!” she repeated in a fierce animal roar. She grabbed my shoulders again and squeezed hard. Pain rushed down my body. Her eyes bulged wide with anger.

  “I’m giving you a five-minute head start,” she rumbled. “Then I’m coming after you.”

  “Wh-what are you going to do to me?” I stammered.

  “I’ll give you a hint,” she growled. “You won’t be you when I’m finished.”

  “Ohhhh.” A frightened moan escaped my throat.

  I swung away from her. For a long moment, I froze, froze in total panic. Then I forced my legs to move — and I took off.

 
; But where could I hide?

  Would I be safe at Monroe’s apartment? Could he hide me somewhere and tell Lissa I wasn’t there?

  Maybe one of his parents was home. Maybe they could protect me from Lissa, the angry monster.

  Ignoring a sharp pain in my side, I ran full-speed to our apartment building. I glanced back again — and saw the monster racing after me.

  She lied. She didn’t give me a five-minute head start.

  Of COURSE she lied. She’s a monster. She’s been lying to me all along.

  I had to outrun her. I had to get to the safety of Monroe’s apartment.

  Please — somebody be home, I prayed to myself.

  The monster came roaring closer. Her thundering footsteps boomed in my ears, so loud I couldn’t think.

  Up ahead, I saw the front doors to the apartment building. But I turned away from them and ran along the side of the building. By the time I reached the back, I was gasping for breath and my chest felt about to burst.

  Monroe’s bedroom window was open. I grabbed the window ledge and hoisted myself inside. Then I turned and slammed the window shut.

  “Anyone home?” My voice came out in a breathless whisper. I grabbed my side and struggled to breathe normally.

  “Anyone home?”

  I found Monroe in the kitchen. He was at the counter with a tall stack of Oreos in front of him. “Bean? What’s up?” he asked. “You came in through the window?” He had a smear of chocolate on one cheek.

  “Hide me. Hide me,” I choked out. “She’s after me. Help me, Monroe. I need your help.”

  He stared at me, chewing on a cookie.

  “Don’t just sit there,” I cried. “Where can I hide from her? Where?”

  “You can’t,” he said. He climbed down from the kitchen stool. “You can’t hide from her, Bean.”

  “Why? What are you saying?” I demanded. “What do you mean?”

  “You … can’t … hide …” he repeated. His voice changed. It became low and gruff.

  And then Monroe began to change. Brown fur sprouted over his face. Quickly, the fur covered his neck. I saw it sprout darkly over his arms.

  His eyes bulged and glowed red. His shoulders spread. He appeared to grow taller and wider. Large yellow teeth poked from his mouth. He grunted as he breathed.

  “No!” I cried, backing to the wall. “No! You, too, Monroe! You’re a monster, too!”

  He opened his mouth in an ugly growl.

  I heard a banging on the apartment door. Three loud bangs, hard enough to shake the door.

  Monroe spun around and lumbered to the door. He pulled it open and Lissa burst in.

  I stared at the two monsters. Two monsters who had their red eyes locked on me. Two monsters moving in for the kill.

  I hunched against the wall, curling my body into a tight ball.

  I shut my eyes and waited for them to attack.

  Silence. The only sound was their grunting breaths.

  I opened my eyes. They both stood at the kitchen counter, side by side, watching me.

  “I … I can’t believe you’re both monsters,” I choked out.

  Lissa rolled her red eyes. “Don’t you get it, Bean? Don’t you finally get it?”

  “Where do we live?” Monroe snarled. “What’s the name of this apartment house?”

  “Huh?” I gaped at them. “It’s Sternom House.”

  “Well, rearrange the letters in Sternom,” Lissa rasped. “What do they spell?”

  “Monster!” Monroe said. “Monster House.”

  My mouth was hanging open. My brain was spinning. “You mean … this is a building for monsters?”

  “Duh,” Monroe said. “You’re catching on.”

  “Y-you mean —?” I was too stunned to speak. “My parents?”

  “Monsters,” Monroe growled. “Everyone in this building. It’s a monster building, Bean.”

  “My parents knew all along? Why didn’t they tell me?”

  “Not allowed,” Lissa rasped. “Everyone has to find his own monster. It’s inside you, Bean. Your monster is inside you, waiting to come out. But you’ve been fighting it.”

  “That’s why Lissa has been scaring you,” Monroe said. “She’s been trying to scare your monster out. To make you realize who you really are.”

  “I told you we’ve been trying to help you,” Lissa said. “Help you solve your monster problem.”

  Monroe lifted a brown bottle off the counter, stomped over to me, and shoved it into my face. “Drink this. Now.”

  I tried to push it away. “What is it?”

  “It’s Monster Helper,” Monroe said. “It’s just water with a little bit of monster added. You’re almost there. This will do the trick. You’ll see.”

  “No way,” I said. “No way.”

  He pushed the bottle in my face. “Drink it. Hurry, Bean.”

  Lissa moved quickly. She grabbed my arms in her furry paws and pinned them behind my back.

  “Please,” I begged. “Please don’t make me drink this stuff.”

  I tried to squirm and twist my head away. But Lissa held me tight. I was helpless.

  Monroe tilted the bottle into my mouth and poured the cold liquid down my throat. He emptied the bottle, then tossed it to the floor.

  Lissa let go of my arms.

  I stood there, tasting the thick liquid on my tongue. Kind of sour … a little like tomato juice …

  They stood watching me in silence.

  Then they appeared to go fuzzy. And shake. No. The whole room was shaking. All a blur. All a trembling blur.

  I felt so weird … so totally weird.

  What was happening to me? What did they do to me?

  The woods smelled leafy fresh. I took a deep sniff of the rich, tangy dirt, the mossy tree trunks, the fragrant weeds. Then I tossed my head back and howled at the clear blue sky.

  Monroe and Lissa were at my sides as we went crashing through the bushes and tall weeds. The cool wind felt so nice against my fur. My heavy paws trod lightly on the carpet of crunchy dead leaves as we trotted together.

  I spotted a beehive on a low tree branch. I swiped it off the tree in both paws. Then I raised it to my snout and sucked the honey out of it.

  Bees swarmed angrily as I drank my fill and passed the hive to my friends. I swatted the bees away without a worry. Then we all raised our faces to the sun and roared together.

  That’s how my story ends. A happy ending. No more nightmares.

  You see, with my friends’ help, I finally solved my monster problem. I discovered my true self.

  With their help, I finally realized who the monster in my dreams was. It was ME!

  And now, I’m so happy I found myself. The real me. I met my monster — and it’s ME!

  As we trotted through the woods, enjoying every color, every smell, Monroe poked me in the side. “Hey,” he growled, “let’s go to Harlan’s house and have some fun with him.”

  Such an awesome idea. All three of us laughed and howled.

  We roared and howled all the way to the poor guy’s house.

  “Ouch.”

  The bus bumped over a rut in the narrow road. I gripped the seat in front of me and gazed out the dusty window.

  We were riding through rolling green hills. Down below, I could see my uncle’s village with its tiny stone houses and shops and slanting red roofs. From up here, it looked like a toy village, little doll houses, a village for storybook elves.

  I suddenly felt all fluttery, and I had to force myself to breathe normally. Hey, this was totally exciting. A long flight over the ocean. Then an eight-hour bus ride to a distant village hidden in the hills to see my uncle, Victor Frankenstein? I couldn’t believe it was happening.

  My name is Kat Parker. I’m twelve, but I haven’t traveled like a lot of kids.

  My parents are teachers, and there are five of us in our family. So we don’t have a lot of money. When we go on family vacations, it’s usually to a cabin at the lake a few hours from
our house.

  This spring, I had an idea for a project I wanted to do about him. So I wrote to my uncle and asked if I could come visit for a week.

  Uncle Victor and I are very close. I mean, I don’t see him that often, and I’ve never been to his house. But he flies to the U.S. and comes to our house for holidays. And he and I spend hours talking about his science projects and all his wild ideas.

  I know. He’s a brilliant scientist and I’m just a sixth-grade girl. But I really think we have a lot in common. He’s kind of my idol. I mean, I’d love to be a scientist and inventor like him when I’m older.

  He spends all his time just dreaming up amazing things and then building them. How much fun is that?

  And now the bus was following the road down, curving through the grassy hills to the village. And I was getting more excited with each bump in the road, each turn taking me closer to him.

  I couldn’t wait to tell Uncle Victor my project idea. I didn’t tell him in my letter. I wanted it to be a surprise.

  My plan was to record a video blog of his work. I wanted to show his laboratory and his office, where he works, where he thinks up his wonderful science inventions.

  Yes, it’s a school project. But it’s also something I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time.

  I pressed my forehead on the glass and peered out the window as we rumbled past a tiny one-pump gas station, then a feed store with bags of seed stacked in front, then a café with a blue neon coffee cup filling the front window.

  The bus squealed to a stop at a corner. No bus station. Just a wooden bench with a man in overalls sharing his lunch with a brown-and-white mutt.

  I gazed around but didn’t see my uncle. I climbed into the aisle and pulled my suitcase down from the overhead rack. Then I made my way to the door, my heart pounding.

  I was the only passenger getting off in the village. I thanked the bus driver. He gave a bored sigh and murmured, “Have a good one.”

  I stepped off the bus, and he closed the door and pulled away. I glanced around. The man and the dog on the bench both stared at me. Like I was a Martian or something.