Honor and Blood

by James Galloway

  "I don't think I'm going to steal a male any time soon, Thean," Tarrin said dryly.

  Thean laughed. "I was speaking in hypotheticals, lad."

  "So, Singer just made Rahnee angry."

  "Oh, I'd agree with that," Thean nodded, motioning to Rahnee. She looked furious. "Since Jeri agreed openly, Rahnee would lose face if she got into a fight with Singer now. Females may fight each other over males, but it's the male that decides it more often than not. Not that it's going to amount to much," Thean chuckled. "Jeri and Rahnee were just sleeping together. It wasn't a mating in the sense of you and Jesmind. She'll be a little peeved for a while, then she'll get over it."

  "So you'd better watch your tail, Thean."

  He chuckled again. "Probably. I'm the only available male at the moment, but Rahnee's going to have to contend with Kimmie and Shayle. Kimmie looks caught up with Jasana at the moment," he said, looking to where Kimmie was spinning Jasana around in the air, making the little girl laugh, "and Shayle's out hunting, so Rahnee's going to take her time."

  "That's not like her."

  "True, but me and Rahnee have had words in the past. She doesn't really like me, but Rahnee is Rahnee. She'd ask a rampaging bear into her bed if she was desperate enough."

  "I think that's an unfair view of her, Thean," Tarrin said.

  "No, it's not," Thean told him seriously as they drifted away from the others, as Tarrin and Thean took some waterskins towards a nearby stream. "Rahnee is obsessed with sex. She spends her entire life going from male to male, hunting them down and holding onto them until they're about ready to take her face off. That almost single-minded bent is probably what made Jeri leave her, because most males I know don't like how intense Rahnee is." Thean chuckled. "Almost. They all like the way she makes love, but she's like a fly-catcher plant. A sweet lure and promise of great pleasure, but getting away from her is the trick. I know why she does it, but there's no stopping it until she gets pregnant again."

  "Her lost children?" Tarrin asked.

  Thean nodded. "Rahnee's just as vulnerable to instinct as Mist was. Since she has no living children, having one and keeping it alive until it's an adult has taken over her life. Were-cat females have a human fertility cycle, but it's extremely hard for them to conceive for some reason, and it gets harder and harder as they age. An elder female like Rahnee can mate almost continually, and not conceive for many years."

  Tarrin considered it. He had felt so sorry for Mist because of what had happened to her, and he started feeling a little sorry for Rahnee. Rahnee didn't close herself off to the world like Mist did, instead she continually tried to get pregnant again. It was a different response to what was fundamentally the same problem, which was different because Rahnee could get pregnant, she only hadn't managed to do it and keep a child alive to adulthood. But, just like Mist, there was a cure for Rahnee's lonely obsession, an obsession he understood a little better now. Rahnee wasn't an oversexed tart, she was desperately trying to get pregnant. That did make her an oversexed tart, but it was her instincts commanding her to fulfill the most basic of their instructions, to reproduce. "That's no real problem," he mused.

  "What are you talking about?"

  "I can make that happen," he replied calmly. "I know how Triana did it to Mist. I can do it to Rahnee. I could get her to conceive tonight."

  "That's considerate of you, lad, but there's a problem."

  "What?"

  "Jesmind would kill you."

  Tarrin laughed. "I don't have to do it, Thean. I can prime Rahnee, and after that any male can finish the job." He looked at the elder male. "So, you feeling frisky tonight, Thean?"

  The gray-furred Were-cat glanced at him, then laughed. "I don't think this is the time or place to fix Rahnee, lad. It'd be best to wait until after we finish at Suld. The fighting may cause her to lose the baby."

  "You have a point there," Tarrin agreed. "Should we tell her?"

  "No, if we did, she'd be unbearable," Thean grinned. "She'd follow you around like a puppy."

  "We can't have that," Tarrin said seriously. "I wonder why Triana didn't do it to her a long time ago."

  "Triana doesn't meddle," Thean told him. "Rahnee's capable of conceiving, so Triana won't do anything. What you want to do is out of compassion, because you can't stand the idea of seeing Rahnee being unhappy. Triana's a bit harder than you."

  "I don't think she's hard."

  "She is hard, lad," Thean said soberly. "She's very old, and the years have taken their toll on her. Most people to her are transitory things, only here for a short time before fading away in the roll of the years. So she doesn't like to form attachments to very many people, and most of them are Were-cats. Triana's seen too many friends grow old and die."

  Tarrin could appreciate how that would feel, to see beloved friends wither and die as age claimed them. It made his heart flutter to think that he may have to face the same thing some day, to see friends like Azakar or Var or Denai or Phandebrass or Ariana succumb to the passing of the years.

  "At least she has us, Thean," Tarrin said as they started filling waterskins.

  "I know. You have no idea how honored it makes me feel to know that she loves me."

  "I think she'd be happier if you loved her back instead of feeling honored."

  "Oh, I do, Tarrin. Triana is the hub of my life. If it wasn't for the fact that we wear on each other after we've been together for a while, I'd be with her all the time."

  "Kimmie told me about that," Tarrin said. "I guess even Were-cats like Triana and you are just as vulnerable to instinct as the rest of us."

  Thean chuckled. "It makes us seem less awesome, doesn't it?" he said with a rueful smile. "To know that we're just as weak as everyone else."

  "Reality is a pain sometimes."

  Thean laughed. "It is at that."

  They wandered back to their group, idly chatting about nothing in particular, and then delivered the waterskins to the others. Rahnee looked speculatively at the pair of them, and when Thean left to go see Sathon about something, Tarrin turned to prod the fire and get the coals right for some quick roasting. It surprised him when Rahnee's scent came up right behind him, and she grabbed him by his tail and pulled herself down to where he was kneeling. "What do you say, Tarrin?" she purred in his ear. "Jesmind's not here. Want to drift back behind the trees and have some fun?"

  "You want to get us both killed?" Tarrin asked archly. "She'd kill you for trying, and she'd kill me for accepting."

  "I know you're interested in me, and I'm not afraid of Jesmind," Rahnee assured him.

  "Then you're a fool," he snapped bluntly.

  "Hmph. Well, if that's how you're going to be, I'm just going to have to come and get you later. But I will come back," she promised, standing up.

  "Go play with Thean," he said dismissively as he threw another couple of large chunks of wood on the fire.

  "Hmph," she snorted again, stalking away.

  Tarrin didn't pay it any more mind. Rahnee was just being bold because Jesmind wasn't there to defend her claim on him.

  What Tarrin was not prepared to face was what happened when Jesmind, Shayle, and Nikki returned, carrying two large bucks between them. Rahnee set herself directly in the path of the three sisters, and slapped the buck off Jesmind's shoulder when she got within reach.

  Tarrin stood up, about ready to go over there and spank Rahnee, but he had no place in what was going to happen. Rahnee felt that she was strong enough to fight Jesmind over him, and as the male in question, it wasn't his place to stop them. Rahnee wasn't going to take any of his objections seriously, so no matter what he said, she was going to do what she was about to do no matter what. And since she wouldn't listen to him, she was just going to have to learn that he had no intentions of leaving Jesmind the hard way.

  He had no worry about it. Jesmind was much nastier than Rahnee, especially when she was mad. Jesmind would relieve him of any unpleasant confrontations with Rahnee when he rebuffed her once aga
in.

  "I'm tired of hearing how scary you are," Rahnee said in a loud tone. "I think you can't live up to your reputation."

  "Get out of my way, Rahnee," Jesmind warned in a dangerous tone.

  "I want Tarrin, and since he's so afraid of you, I guess I'm just going to have to send you packing. Unless you're not woman enough to fight for him."

  That was the wrong thing to say. Jesmind's eyes exploded from within with the green aura that marked an angry Were-cat, and her claws came out almost as quickly as she attacked Rahnee.

  It was a fight between Were-cats, and that meant that it carried with it a mindless brutality that made such a spectacle difficult for the squeamish to observe. Rahnee and Jesmind ripped at one another with their claws, even biting one another as they ended up on the ground, rolling in grass that quickly became stained with blood. In the first furious moments of their fight, Tarrin began to wonder if Rahnee was really going to lose. She was the same size as Jesmind, and he'd never seen her actually fight before, so he wasn't sure how good she was. She really took it to his mate in those first moments, pinning her to the ground and tearing into her pretty thoroughly with claws paws and feet. But then, Jesmind seemed to have had enough. She drove the palm of her paw into Rahnee's chin, hard enough to snap her head back and lift her off of her, then descended on the disadvantaged black-furred female with merciless savagery. They traded blows face to face, staying on their feet as their brutal claw match slowed into a calculated fight between two combatants. Both of them began showing elements of a street brawler, blocking blows, kicking, trying to grapple or grab hair, and when he saw them like that, he saw that Jesmind was much superior to Rahnee. In very short moments, Rahnee became overwhelmed by her faster, more experienced adversary, until Jesmind rushed the black-furred Were-cat and then bulled her to the ground. Rahnee became the one pinned to the ground, struggling to defend herself from Jesmind's tearing claws but not doing a very good job of it. She started crying out in pain as Jesmind began to inflict wounds that her regeneration couldn't immediately heal, had worn down Rahnee's regenerative ability to where it could no longer keep up with the damage being done to her. When it became apparent that Rahnee was going to lose, Jesmind took it one step further, jumping to her feet, grabbing Rahnee by the paw, and then dragging her temporarily weakened opponent across the ground. Tarrin did move to intervene when he realized what she was doing, but he was too late. Jesmind grabbed Rahnee with both paws on her arm, then heaved her up and over her shoulder, directly into the large fire.

  Rahnee's pained shriek made the hair on the back of Tarrin's neck stand up. The bloodied female bounced in the embers as Jesmind let her go, and for a very unpleasant moment she seemed unable to move. The smell of burning hair and cloth and singed blood and burning flesh washed over the small encampment as Rahnee convulsed on the fire, screaming in agony, until she seemed to regain control of her body and roll out of the flames. Red-hot embers clung to her blackened shoulders, back, buttocks, tail, and upper legs as she whimpered and scrabbled on the grass on her belly, in the general direction of the stream that was some distance away, as small licks of fire burned in her red hair, her black fur, and in her blood-soaked clothing.

  There was silence. All the Were-cats, even Jasana, stared at the wounded Rahnee with expressionless faces. Tarrin was shocked that Jesmind would do something like that, would actually hurt Rahnee like that. He stared at her in dismay and surprise, in disbelief that she could be so...so monstrous. But in that moment he realized that now he knew how others thought about him when they saw some of the things he did. How Allia felt when Tarrin had killed the wounded priest after destroying Sheba the Pirate's ship. About how Dolanna felt when Tarrin very nearly killed the arrogant acrobat aboard the Dancer. About how many felt about him after he destroyed the arena in Dala Yar Arak. Tarrin could not look at Jesmind and accuse, not without pointing the finger at himself as well. He had no right to make such moral judgements, not with the darkness in his own past. What she did only reminded him of his own past deeds, and it caused deep slash of guilt to cut into him. That guilt translated to anger when he looked at her, even though he knew none of it was her fault.

  Despite that, he found that he couldn't think kindly of his mate at that moment, and probably wouldn't for a while. No matter how much she may have needed to have been beaten down, Rahnee didn't deserve to be thrown into a fire. Jesmind had her beaten, and every Were-cat looking on knew that. She had gone beyond merely establishing her dominance. She had tried to kill Rahnee, and Tarrin felt deeply in his heart that he wasn't worth Rahnee's life. If Jesmind was going to attempt to murder every female that showed interest in him, then he wasn't sure he wanted to continue their relationship.

  He also couldn't deny the cries of the burned Were-cat. Levelling a flat look on his mate, Tarrin quickly made his way to where she still clawed at the grass, groaning as smoke wafted up from her severely burned back. He put a paw on her and exerted his will against the Weave, sending flows of Earth, Water, and Divine power into her, the flows of healing. Rahnee's back arched severely as the icy sensation of Sorcerer's Healing drained off some of her own inner energy to assist in the healing of her charred back, as the weave attacked the burned flesh, excising it and growing new, unmarred flesh to replace what was removed for the good of the whole.

  Rahnee's groans were replaced with a heavy panting, and her jerking struggles eased. She put her head down on the ground and breathed deeply as the icy sensation melted away, taking the pain with it. Tarrin stood up and stared at Jesmind, telling her without words that his displeasure with what she had done went far beyond a simple difference of opinion.

  He couldn't even look at her. Turning his back on them, he started stalking away.

  "Tarrin! Tarrin, wait!" Jesmind suddenly called, and he could hear and sense her rush up behind him. The closer that she got, the angrier with her he became, until it came to a head just as she was starting to slow down. He turned on her so fast she didn't even register it, and struck her dead in the face with the back of his paw. She was driven to the ground by his inhuman power, a power much greater than her own, leaving her dazed and looking up at him with unfocused eyes.

  When they did focus, she found herself staring up into ominous green slits, his eyes ignited from within as a clear indication of his anger.

  "Get away from me, or I'll throw you in that fire," Tarrin hissed, then he whirled and stalked away, leaving his mate sprawled on the ground, holding her cheek in her paw, staring at him in stunned disbelief.

  It was a difference of opinion.

  Tarrin sat on a rock well away from the others, listening to the song of the night, arms wrapped around his legs and tail curled around his ankles as he worked through the conflict within him. It was a difference of opinion, that was all. His two halves had different views over what had happened that afternoon, and their conflict was why he felt so confused.

  The Cat saw nothing wrong with what Jesmind did. She had simply defended her territory, defended her rights to her mate, and when it came to something like that, there was no quarter. In a fight, there were no rules, and the end justified the means. Jesmind had probably done what she did to establish beyond any doubt just who was the dominant between her and Rahnee, by nearly killing her to prove to the other Were-cat that she was the stronger of them. That part of him understood why Jesmind did what she did, even appreciated that she could do it, would do it, and was baffled by the reaction of his other side. The Human in him was horrified by what Jesmind did, horrified and shocked. He had never believed that Jesmind could be capable of such calcuated cruelty, depite the fact that she was a Were-cat. The Human was prepared to accept the fact that Jesmind and Rahnee had to settle their dispute, and it would come to a fight. Sometimes fights were necessary, even in the Human perspective. But fights over dominance weren't supposed to be fatal. That was all that was, all it was supposed to be, a fight over who was dominant, over who had the right to court a mate. But it had gone b
eyond that, and that was the part that Tarrin couldn't rationalize in his Human side. He felt terrible about it, because Rahnee had suffered tremendous agony, and he knew that he was the reason for it. He should have rebuffed her firmly. He shouldn't have been so neutral. If he'd have told her no emphatically, she wouldn't have tried to fight Jesmind. That guilt just added on to the confusion.

  And in a way, it conjured up memories of his own evil deeds. That caused him pain, and he transferred that pain onto Jesmind's shoulders. He had done things like that himself, and when he did them, there had been a grisly...eagerness about it. More than once, he had acted like that for the sheer need to inflict pain, like when he had fought and beaten Jula. It eroded a bit of his image of himself and his own kind to know that they all shared that tainted trait. He had seen Jesmind lower herself to a level he hoped he'd never see either in himself or any other, and that hurt.

  Maybe he'd been fooling himself all along. Jesmind was a Were-cat. She wasn't the pristine little doll he had created in his mind as an impression of her, an impression fueled by her recent flexibility, her desire to accommodate his peculiar nature to keep him as her mate. He had known what she was like, even if he didn't want to face it himself. She was the same Jesmind as before, with the same fiery nature and rather ruthless approach to things. She had been very tranquil lately, but she had never tried to hide who she was from him. The truth of her had always been right there, only he chose to cover it with an illusion that she wasn't as bad as he was, that she would give to their daughter a gentleness that he no longer had inside, an innocence lost. He had to face the fact that she was just like him, that she was just as capable of evil and monstrosity as he was. He didn't want to believe it, but he had no choice.