Jevan's Dream

by Alyssa Hope

  ‘I can …’

  ‘No, I am.’

  Karo sighed. ‘It is not far now.’

  A door opened and they went into a small room. The door behind them closed and the one in front of them opened, and Jevan looked out at his dream world. What spread out before him was better than the best greenhouse he had ever seen. Plants of every shape and size were all growing together as though they were all in the wild in a strange and beautiful place, and flowers and fruit were abundant. The air was humid and everything smelled healthy and alive, and small flying things moved among the flowers pollinating them.

  From the safety of Tad’s arms he stared around, and then he wiggled to get down.

  Karo caught him before he could get to the ground.

  ‘First you nurse, then you can go explore. Alright, sweet one?’

  He had seen new-borns nursing on their mothers, but he was no new-born and didn’t see why he had to nurse. But despite all the assurances that Karo made, he was still the new Master, and if the Master wanted him to nurse he would. He had been beaten for stranger things, and made to do less pleasant things.

  Karo sat on a bench and settled Jevan on his knees, then pulled his tunic to one side to give Jevan access to a breast. Jevan stared at the smooth blue expanse and the dark blue nipple apprehensively, and didn’t move. Then Tad sat down beside them and stroked the back of his head.

  ‘It’s okay, little one. This will help you heal, it’s because of the bond. Trust me.’ Karo glared at him, and Tad amended that. ‘Trust us.’

  Jevan bent in and licked cautiously at the nipple, and it puckered under his touch. That seemed to invite more touching, so he wrapped his mouth around it and sucked gently, but pulled off in alarm when Karo moaned.

  ‘Oh, sweet one, that’s good, don’t stop. That felt very good.’

  It felt good to Jevan as well, so he lowered his mouth again and sucked on the puckered tip, and a sweet delicious milk leaked into his mouth. He startled in surprise, but couldn’t make himself pull away. He sucked a bit harder, and then latched on and gave himself over to the pleasure. He brought both hands up to Karo’s breast to cradle it as he suckled, and he moaned happily now too, although very quietly. He could feel Karo purring underneath him, and that felt good too.

  Tad stroked the side of his head and down his back, and then wrapped his other arm around Karo, drawing the three of them together. Jevan felt Karo shift under him, and then to his surprise these two, who always seemed to be arguing, brought their mouths together and sucked at each other as energetically as he was sucking at Karo’s breast.

  ‘Beloved?’

  It was a quiet voice in his mind, and it could have been either of them, or maybe both of them, in agreement for a change.

  ‘Beloved.’

  Jevan felt the nourishment filling his stomach and feeding something else in him as well, and then he found himself shifted over to Tad’s breast and a different flavored milk, and his two big friends shuffled around next to each other so they could continue to explore each other’s mouths and bodies while still holding on to him and nursing him.

  He went back and forth from blue breast to pale one until he was full and they were empty, and then he curled up and dozed in the arms of both of his new friends, his new family, in a safe green place full of plants. This was, he thought, better than any world he could have imagined. He hoped that it was real, that he wasn’t dreaming.

  ‘It’s real, little one. You’ll see.’

  ‘Yes, sweet one, you are home now, with us.’

  Then there were loud voices from the wall.

  “Karo, we have a problem. Our Second’s team is transporting seven directly to Medical from the planet. Can you meet them there immediately?”

  Karo jumped to his feet, and then paused to look at Tad and Jevan.

  ‘Come with me, but stay out of the way, alright? I’ll get someone to take you back to our quarters from Medical.’

  Medical turned out to be the place where all the tables were, and all the people there were looking worried.

  ‘This isn’t normal. We don’t usually transport like this, directly to Medical. This could be bad, maybe I shouldn’t have brought you here …’

  What materialized in front of them were seven of the large blue creatures, all with bare chests, and each was carrying a very small bundle wrapped in one of the tunics that the big ones had been wearing.

  “What …?”

  They all had strange looks on their faces, and several people started talking at once and then the biggest of the blue creatures that Jevan had seen so far came through the door, and everyone was quiet.

  “I’m sorry, Sir”, one of the seven said, “but we were doing a complete search of the premises, as per protocol, and we found these in the back of one of the buildings.”

  He laid his bundle gently on one of the tables and unwrapped it very carefully, and Jevan realized that it was a baby, a very small, quiet, naked baby. The big one holding it stroked the baby’s head as it lay there.

  “Captain, Sir, the creature that was with them said they were babies of war, of rape, and their mothers abandoned them at that place, that he said was a temple, and they were used as sacrifices …” He choked and stopped talking.

  There was silence, and then the big blue creature who had been addressed as Captain said, “You did the right thing, Second, thank you. Karo, you will need help?”

  Jevan found himself saying “I’ll help”, and Tad hugged him tighter.

  “I will too.”

  They all formed a line, with the medical staff and Jevan and Tad, and the one who had been addressed as Second and the others who had carried them. They gently unwrapped each of the babies and washed them, and Karo weighed and measured them, and Karo wasn’t the only one who cried. The babies were silent, though, and Jevan recognized this as the silence of small ones who had already learned that it was dangerous to attract attention.

  Each baby was different, some light of skin, some dark, some longer and some shorter, some with hair and some without any. None of them looked like the large blue creatures, although one had very light blue skin.

  After each baby was examined and then wrapped in a diaper cloth and a clean blanket, it was passed to a crew member who could nurse it, and they all purred gently to the babies as they nursed.

  “There are bonds?” Jevan asked in confusion.

  “Anyone who has at least the beginnings of a triad bond probably has the ability to nurse”, Karo explained. “When you’re healthy you’ll be able to, as well. We don’t nurse other people’s babies, normally, but this …”

  More and more crew members began to come into Medical to offer help as word spread, until Karo finally had to ask some of them to leave.

  “Kaji, could you please make up a schedule, a rotation, so everyone who wants to will have a chance to hold and nurse the babies? They’ll need a lot of nursing and love, the poor little ones. They shouldn’t ever be alone.” Karo looked like he was going to cry again.

  Kaji went away and when he came back he told them that not only was there a schedule now, but he had some of the crew setting up a nursery next to Medical. He had found seven cradles, and even more big comfortable chairs so people could sit in them and hold a baby, and nurse. The babies would never be alone, and always be in someone’s arms, which Jevan thought was good.

  Then Kaji excused himself, and went away, stroking the head of one of the babies as he left. He said he had to talk to the Captain, but he’d come back, and help nurse.

  Even though Jevan couldn’t nurse a baby it made him feel better that there were some little people who were smaller and more in need than he was, and he liked helping take care of them. They were better than plants, maybe, or at least as good. Tad nursed the littlest one, which was a strange dark color, darker than Jevan was even, and its dark skin stood out against Tad’s pale breast, but no-one thought that was odd. Jevan curled up beside them in one of the big chairs and stroked the l
ittle one and held onto Tad. Tad couldn’t purr, but Jevan could, and Tad hummed softly, and they all relaxed together.

  At some point he must have fallen asleep, and he vaguely felt Tad passing their baby to someone else and then carrying him. He knew that it was their baby, and hoped that Tad and Karo knew it too.

  Chapter 4.

  When he woke up he was in a big bed with Karo and Tad next to him. For a while it felt good, but then Karo and Tad began to kiss and touch each other, and they made noises of need and rubbed their bodies harder against each other, and it began to smell like sweat and hormones. Tad rolled on top of Karo and cried out softly, and Karo made strange noises and gasped for breath, and Jevan kept very still on the edge of the bed and tried to be invisible.

  He began to be scared, although he wasn’t sure why. Maybe something about being with the babies had reminded him of the early part of his life soon after he had been taken from his family. He remembered that big beds like this were where bad things happened. One part of him knew it was alright now, but another part thought that maybe it wasn’t, and his over-wrought mind went into a loop where the remembered pain and the fear just kept going around and around, and he panicked.

  All he knew was that he had to escape, although to where or what he didn’t know. Then he thought about the plants, the greenhouse on this ship that was from his dream. It had seemed very large, and maybe if he went there they wouldn’t be able to find him? There would be things for him to eat there, and the plants would shelter him. When Tad and Karo were quiet again and seemed to be asleep, still wrapped up together, he slid out of the bed.

  He had heard the big creatures talking to the doors, so he crept to the door and asked it quietly, “May I go to the greenhouse, please, Master?”

  The door slid open, but he didn’t know which way to go. This wasn’t going to work. Should he go back in? He shuddered. Then a smaller one of the gentle blue creatures came along, and talked softly to him.

  “Where did you want to go, little one?”

  “To where the plants are. Please, Master.”

  It sighed and touched him gently on the head, and he tried not to flinch. “Not Master, not ever again, little one. I was a slave, too, but we’re not anymore.”

  He thought about the two large bodies in that big bed that he had just escaped from, and he didn’t know if this large creature was telling the truth or lying, but he had to get to where the plants were. He couldn’t think clearly anymore, he just had to get away.

  “Yes, Master. Which way are the plants, please?”

  It took him by the hand and led him, and when he got tired it picked him up and carried him, and he tried not to even breathe again until they were in the greenhouse place and he could stand on the soft ground. This creature seemed to have gentle arms, but so had Karo.

  “Thank you, Master.”

  “Maybe I’ll stay with you here until Karo comes for you …”

  That was too much. He pulled away and ran into the trees, looking for a place where a small thing like himself could hide. There were a lot of good places, and he curled up in one shaking, and wondering what he was going to do now. How long could he hide?

  He had thought his friend Tad was different, but maybe he wasn’t, or maybe he was being hurt as well? He suddenly felt bad for running away without taking his friend with him, although Tad was larger and would have been hard to hide under a tree. His head hurt.

  He curled up tightly and sobbed quietly. Somehow finding hope and then losing it was worse than never having it at all.

  Chapter 5.

  When he woke up he couldn’t remember where he was at first, and when he did he curled up into a smaller ball and tried not to even breathe. He could hear Karo’s voice in his head, and then Tad’s.

  He answered Tad, hesitantly and apologetically. ‘I’m sorry, my friend, I’m sorry I left you there, I should have brought you with me. Were you hurt?’

  ‘I wasn’t hurt, little one, why would I have been hurt? What happened?’

  Jevan struggled to explain, but he had been very young and hadn’t had the words then, still didn’t have them. ‘Hurt. In the bed. With the Master.’

  There was a long silence, and then both Karo and Tad were swearing in their loud voices, and other people were talking loudly as well. Jevan covered his ears and tried to shut his mind off. When it was quieter again and he let himself listen he could only sense Karo and Tad.

  ‘Sweet one? Jevan? Tad and I weren’t hurting each other, we were bringing each other pleasure. Good kinds of touching are part of the bond, and of loving. I meant it when I said no-one would ever hurt you again, and that includes me. You’re safe in our bed with us, but if you want to sleep alone you can. No one will ever touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched, ever again.’

  ‘Or I’ll kill them.’ That was Tad’s voice, and Karo did not argue.

  ‘Little one? It’s okay. How about you come out now, and you can nurse, then we’ll all go and get some other food to eat as well. There’s a place here on the ship where there’s lots of food.’

  ‘Yes’, Karo added, ‘and maybe we can look at some pictures of your family. They still love you and miss you, and maybe when you’re ready you could talk to them. Would you like that?’

  The nursing and the food sounded good, and he was tired and hungry, so he crawled out from under the roots where he’d been hiding, not sure of how he would be greeted. It could be a lie, even now, and once they had him in their hands they might hurt him, but they didn’t. Both of them hugged him, and Karo shed more tears, and he nursed off both of them again, although not too much because the babies needed it, and he wasn’t a baby anymore. He hadn’t been a baby for a long time.

  Then they all went to the place on the ship where there were a lot of people and a lot of food, and he was allowed to eat almost as much as he wanted. He wondered if he was still dreaming. One of the large creatures who worked in the kitchen kept bringing him out different kinds of food, and asking him to try this thing and then that thing, and then kept purring at him. He shared the food with Tad, and even with Karo who was already well-fed, and they all laughed. The cook seemed very happy when Jevan found things that he really liked, and promised more of those.

  ‘You can have as much to eat as you want, Jevan and Tad both. We’ll fatten you up.’ He was a large round creature, and he seemed to think that everything was funny. ‘You just come here and ask me or my partner. Anything you want. I am Suna, my partner is Dasu.’

  Jevan couldn’t imagine walking into this place and asking for food, let alone any kind of food that he wanted.

  ‘You come to us or we’ll follow you around and feed you’, Suna said, and Jevan thought he was joking, maybe.

  Karo finally put a stop to the eating. ‘There’ll be more for later, sweet one. You’ll make yourself sick if you eat too much right away.’

  He was happy that Tad was eating a lot, too, and his friend already didn’t look as thin as he had when they had met, and his limp wasn’t as bad. His eyes weren’t as wild, either. In fact, when they looked at Karo and Jevan they looked soft, and something else. Loving? Was that what loving looked like?

  ‘Yes, it is. It’s good, little one, loving is good. And there are all kinds of good ways of touching when people love each other. It’s like the best kind of dream world, maybe even one that will last forever, even with scars and broken legs.’

  Karo smiled at him. ‘It will last. Bonds are forever, dear one. I think some part of you knows that. We’ll keep working on the loving, and the bonding, until you do.’

  Tad smiled back, but still looked a bit uncertain. Then he looked at Jevan, and reached out to take his hand. ‘Loving, bonding, whatever it is. You’re back with your own people and safe now, little one, and that’s forever.’

  Karo pulled out a small screen and it lit up.

  ‘Here, Jevan. This is your family, the triad who bore you, and who will always love you. Do you remember how they held you
? They miss you, and they never stopped looking for you.’

  Jevan stared at the picture, trying to make sense of it. They were all large blue creatures, the same as Karo and the cooks and the gentle creatures who had rescued him, and they were all holding onto each other, all three together in a big hug. Jevan looked around the room they were in and except for Tad and a few others that looked like Tad, pale and with hair on their heads, all of the beings looked the same as the ones in the picture on the screen.

  He looked down at his arm, and it was a dark purple color, and he didn’t think there was any likeness. He was hairless, like them, but only a small part of the size of any of these, and the wrong color. There must be some mistake.

  Karo seemed to understand his thoughts. ‘You were stolen when you were very young, Jevan, we think you were the youngest of any that were taken. You never had a chance to grow completely, but you will now.’

  Jevan could hear that Karo wasn’t really sure that he would grow. Although he was sorry he wouldn’t, he was also relieved that he could hear in Karo’s voice when Karo wasn’t telling a whole truth.

  Tad smiled at him. ‘It’s alright, you’ll grow, even if you don’t get to be as big as Captain Oki.’

  Jevan smiled at that. No-one else was that big.

  ‘Suki was very small when he was rescued, and he’s grown a lot.’ Suki was the one who had taken him to the greenhouse when he had tried to run away, he saw that picture in his mind. ‘And your color will get better now that you are loved and fed.’

  ‘Color doesn’t matter’, Tad said, and he was smiling again. ‘Or hair, or a lot of other things. Love matters.’

  Jevan looked doubtfully at Tad. ‘What are you and the others like you, with the hair?’

  ‘We are humans, but we also call ourselves people. The big blue ones call themselves people, too.’ He laughed. ‘We all call ourselves people. We all think we are the only people.’