Norma Jean

by Amanda Heath

  “With…Regina…dancing. I swear…to God…call her.” I pant out. My side is burning from his kicks. I’m not lying. I really was out with Regina. Not that he would call her and ask. He’d just think she was lying as well.

  “I don’t need to call that bitch. Slut would lie just like you. Who are you fucking? Tell me!” I’m shaking all over. I honestly don’t know what to do here. I’m telling the truth yet he refuses to believe me. I have never lied to him and I never would. I would probably be dead if I did.

  “I’m…telling the…truth…I swear.” Tears are leaking out of both my eyes and I shut them hoping to stop the flow. He doesn’t like tears. He will hit me harder.

  “She’s telling the truth. I saw her at bar with Regina. It was just the two of them dancing. No guys were around them. She didn’t even talk to anyone but Regina. Every guy in this town knows she is yours.” David is his right hand man. He has never agreed with the beating of women and tries to stop him all the time. But he doesn’t ever step up to stop him while he is doing it.

  He gets right down next to my face and whispers in my ear, “You’re fucking lucky David was there to see you. I’ll find out one of these days who you’re fucking, Norma. Then you’re both dead. No one touches what is mine.” He licks my ear then, and I shudder.

  I didn’t know how to get out of the situation. He didn’t start hitting me till about 6 months into our relationship. Then he was all kinds of scary. I found out he was dealing drugs out of his apartment and everyone knew in this town but me. Even Regina. Though she didn’t know until after I was serious with him.

  I just happen to walk in his door and catch a drug deal. That was the first time he hit me. Said I had no business showing up at his place without calling, even though I had been doing it for months. After that day nothing was the same.

  A couple of weeks ago I happened upon his car out in the dorm parking lot. I freaked out thinking he was watching me, but no he was inside the car fucking a girl from my dorm. Most woman would feel anger and hurt, all I felt was relief. I’m not one of those who wants to stay with the man who beats her. Maybe I’m different because I never loved him. My heart was always Chances.

  I confronted him and asked if he was done with me. He said hell yeah and that I was a bad fuck. I almost jumped to the heavens, I was so fucking happy to be out from under him. Let him be with his new girl and beat her. She has seen my bruises and busted lip. The limps and stiff walking because I didn’t want to jar my ribs. If that is what she wants, then go ahead girl. It will be you in the ditch, not me.

  I’m standing in front of the mirror looking for more bruises when a ringtone I didn’t think I would ever hear again fills the room. I slowly walk over to the phone and look down at Chances name flashing across the screen. I let it ring and ring. There’s no reason for me to answer. I won’t ever go through it again, and I fucking mean that.

  Chance leaves a voicemail and I pull the phone up to my ear to listen. “Norma, I realize I’m the last person you want to hear from, but we need to put that away for now. Macy is missing. Mom says she was kidnapped, but I’m not jumping to that. I’m hoping she just got outside somehow and they will find her before I get home. Call me back. Mom wants you there.” Then the message goes off.

  I’m calling him back before I even realize what I’m doing.

  *****

  I’m in a fog. Nothing makes sense right now. I’m lost inside of it. I can’t help but to feel this has something to do with me. Why do you ask? Because I’m hiding things. Stuff I shouldn’t hide from those that love Macy. From those that love me as well. I have to talk to Cassie. She has to know who took Macy. I won’t believe anything else.

  Not wanting to be anywhere near Chance, I climbed in the car with Harley and Spencer. Lucy and Mason are in the backseat with me. Mason keeps giving me knowing looks, and he would know. I have to wonder why he was even here, but apparently he’s with little ole Lucy, which is the strangest relationship I have ever seen. Not even going to go there.

  They all talk softly around me, but I don’t listen. I stare out the window thinking of every place I need to look for Macy. I have to find her before something awful happens. He would hurt her to get to me. He found out about last night with Chance. I have no idea how he found that out, but that’s the only thing I can think of. He wouldn’t do this because of anything else.

  “Norma, what’s the name of your roommate?” Harley turns around in her seat and meets my eyes.

  “Regina. Why?” I take a deep breath hoping she doesn’t tell me Regina was going after Spencer. That is totally something she would do. Unless you’re her friend she doesn’t care if the guy has a girlfriend.

  “She…um…told me something last night. I kind of wanted to talk to you about it.” Harley had a rough summer and I can only imagine what Regina told her.

  “Do you really think this a great place to talk about this?” I say the blood draining from my face.

  “Look, I know it might be hard to talk about, but I have to say something. Everyone will be worried about Macy when we get to Duke. I just want to get this out of the way. You can trust all of us in this car.” She smiles encouraging me to say something but I won’t. I can’t.

  I throw my thumb in Mason’s direction and say, “He will tell Marley and then the world will end. So no thank you.” Mason is really close with my cousin. And I mean really close, like they are in the same gang. Though I wouldn’t really call it a gang because they do more good than bad. They are like the neighborhood watch gone Scarface. Except no cocaine. Well not that I know of.

  “Harley already told me what Regina said. All I want to fucking know is if it’s true. That mother fucker is dead if it is. Marley is like my brother, so that makes you family. No one fucks with my family.” A chill swipes over my body as I take in what he said. I know he isn’t joking. Mason, who I don’t know all that well but I could still tell you he doesn’t lie. And he doesn’t back out on his word.

  That leaves me with nothing to say. I have to find Macy before I do anything else.

  “It wasn’t true. She likes to make up shit when she’s drunk. Thinks it’s funny.” I choke out hoping he believes me.

  “The fact you even know what we are taking about says otherwise Norma. If you want me to back off, fine. But if he lays another hand on you, he’s dead. Got me?” Mason has turned red with his anger. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but he has this freaky way of making you feel better.

  “Got you.” I whisper and turn back around to the window. I won’t think about it. I won’t. I won’t be that girl anymore.

  The rest of the drive is pretty quiet. Mason can scare the crap out of anyone, but the way he is with Lucy, makes you wonder if it’s all a show. The way he is always touching her. The way I have only ever seen him smile at her. I wish I had that. Someone to love me like that.

  Pulling up outside Stacy’s house, I start getting nervous. I was already scared but I have to confront Cassie, and I hope she tells me something I want to hear. Because this will be over soon if she does.

  Chance drove like a bat out of hell so he beat us. The hood of the car is cool meaning it’s been parked for a while. I haven’t even had time to feel awkward about stepping into his house. I’m just looking for Cassie.

  I finally spot her sitting in the living room with her head in her hands. “Cassie.” I say softly. When she looks up at me, I see it. She fucking knows who has her, and she hasn’t told anyone. It’s quiet in here, since everyone else is in the kitchen.

  “Norma. I’m glad you came.” She wipes some tears off her face and I walk into the living room further and sit next to her.

  “You have to tell them Cassie. They will find her so much faster if you do.” I say it barely above a whisper.

  “It’s too fucking hard. What if he does something to her? He said he wouldn’t hurt her as long as I didn’t tell. He just wants you. I’ve been waiting for you to get here. Please go get my baby back.” She
is sobbing now and I feel answering tears fall down from my eyes.

  This is all my fucking fault. I knew in my heart I should have turned down Chance last night. I just needed to feel his touch, his kiss, his body. I never stopped wanting him. I never stopped loving him. Why can’t I just be happy for once in my life? Why do things always end badly for me? I shouldn’t be afraid my ex-boyfriend is going to kidnap someone who I love to get back at me for sleeping with someone else.

  I just wish I could have seen how crazy he is before I started seeing him.

  Chance

  Walking through the sea of people, I feel as if everyone is keeping some big secret from me. Everyone seems to be at my house, and I mean everyone. Even my dad and step mom are sitting at the kitchen table next to my mom. And surprisingly my dad isn’t blaming this on my mom. I don’t know how the hell that happened but it did, and I’m so grateful. Mom doesn’t need that right now.

  “Hey, we are going to get out of here. Let me know when the search party is heading out and we’ll be there.” Dean claps me on the shoulder before throwing his arm around Paige’s waist and walking towards the door. I can only nod.

  When I spot Norma walking out of the living room, it takes all the energy I have left not to walk over there and apologize. That was seriously a dick move last night, but I can’t do it. She’ll have an in and I so don’t want that. I can’t be crazy like that ever again. No matter how much I want it.

  When she spots me all the color drains off of her face. She takes a deep breath and her chestnut colored hair falls over her face. I want to shift my fingers through it, brush it along my lips…no I don’t. What the hell am I doing?

  “Chance…I have to talk to you about something.” she says so low I barely hear her.

  Now I feel the color drain from my face. She wants to talk about that here? Yeah I don’t think so. “I’m not talking about it ever. There’s nothing to say. I don’t care.” I lie right through my teeth. When tears start shining in her eyes, I know what I just did. And it’s not a good feeling.

  “Chance Duncan, I know you did not just say that. What the hell is wrong with you? And who told you?” Cassie pops into the hall way looking like she’s going to find a sharp weapon and stab me.

  “Huh? What are you talking about?” I say to Cassie. Then I look at Norma and feel the anger boil up. “You told her? What the fuck Norma?” I somehow made it down the hallway and ended up right in front of her. I don’t remember even moving.

  “If you’re talking about last night, I didn’t tell her you just did.” Her cheeks are flushed and her breathing is erratic. I have a feeling I might get punched. “We aren’t talking about that, we are talking about something else, which I’m guessing you have no idea about. Yet again you can only think of yourself.” She pushes past me and heads towards the kitchen.

  I grab her wrist and pull her around and right into my chest. Her violet eyes are full of anger and pain, and I’m not sure all of it is directed at me. “What is going on? What do I need to know? You two better start explaining.”

  “I’m not telling you anything. Your fucking niece is missing and when I go to tell you something about that, you think I’m talking about fucking you last night.” She steps even closer and stands on her tippy toes and narrow those startling eyes at me. “Last night didn’t mean anything to me. It was honestly the last thing on my mind, until you brought it up. Macy is missing and that’s all you can think about? You’re seriously a piece of work Chance. Get your head out of the gutter and worry about someone other than yourself.”

  “You didn’t seem to think it was nothing when I kicked you out of the room last night. In fact you were pretty upset about it. So don’t go giving me that ‘I don’t give a shit attitude’.” I take a step back and look between Norma and Cassie. “Now what is going on?”

  They share a look and I have a feeling I’m not going to like what I hear. “We should go sit down.” Cassie says, flipping her thumb over her shoulder pointing at the living room.

  I nod and follow them into the room. Sitting down I cross my arms over my chest and brace myself. I feel it deep in my bones this is going to kill me.

  “When I left Duke, I lived with my dad in his cabin outside of Arkadelphia. After the summer I started attending OBU. I ran into this guy I already knew, but I was seriously surprised to see him. I had no idea he was going to Henderson. He asked me out almost every day for six months before I said yes.” Norma pauses and looks down at her hands. When a tear lands on her peach skin, I nearly lose it. What happened to her? “It was really good for the first six months. I was almost happy with him. And I tried really hard to be happy with him. I played happy so well, that he started to slip up. Show me things I think he didn’t want me to see.”

  When she stops again I try to keep my mouth shut but it’s really hard. It’s like that dream I have of her. When she is sitting there crying and I can’t get through that invisible wall. She is so close yet unreachable. “What happened Norma? And what does this have to do with Macy?”

  Cassie glares over at me, “Shut up Chance. This is hard for her. Give it time.” When she grabs Norma’s hand and squeezes I shut my eyes. I know now what she is going to say. And I’m going to want to murder someone. “Go on Norma.” Cassie tells her softly.

  “Okay so one day I showed up without calling first. I mean I’d been to his apartment before and I had been with the guy for half a year, I thought it was cool. Well it wasn’t.” She takes a deep breath and looks up at Cassie squeezing her hand. “He was in the middle of a drug deal. Apparently he had been selling them out of the apartment for months. And I’m not talking pot or something small like that. No I’m talking hardcore drugs, like ice and crack. I thought oh my God I’m done. I honestly thought it would be that easy. It never is.” The tears flowing out of her eyes now are way too much. I feel my knuckles turning white. And I think I stopped breathing a long time ago. “I told him I couldn’t be with him, if he was going to do that. I don’t agree with selling drugs or doing drugs. That’s the first time he hit me. Just smacked me across the face. In front of a lot of people. That’s something else he let me believe. That I had all the control. When actually I had none.

  “What’s worse is I had no one to help me. My roommate is a chick and I refused to let her call the police. I was fucking scared. These guys had guns and they were scary. I didn’t want one of them to come after me for snitching. You’ve met my dad, what the hell was he going to do? So I stuck it out. He started getting really abusive. He would accuse me of cheating and lying to him, but really it was just an excuse to hit and kick me. He had his right hand man, David following me around everywhere I went, so he knew I wasn’t lying or cheating. I didn’t want to end up dead.

  “I honestly think he got off on hurting me. He would get this look in his eyes that chilled me to the bone. They were bright and excited. Then he started forcing me to have sex with him. I would give in because I didn’t want to get hurt. He would throw these parties and make me have sex in front of people. I felt degraded and nasty. I got called a slut and a whore all the time by people who saw. I didn’t know what else to do. It got harder and harder to cover up the bruises. My professor and other staff were starting to ask me why I was limping or walking funny. I lied through my teeth but it’s not like they ever really tried to stop him. He’s a monster.

  “Then about a month ago I found him fucking a girl in his car outside my dorm. I was so relieved you can’t even imagine how much so. I knocked on the window and he got out of the car and told me he was done with me. I played it off like I was upset and angry but really I was so happy to be out from under him. That girl though was stupid. She knew what he was, how he was. I feel terrible I didn’t say anything to stop her, but I had to think about myself first at this point. I had started to wonder what my mom would do if they found me dead somewhere, just dropped off like a piece of trash. Because that is what would have happened.”

  I’m silent but inside
I feel like murder. I am going to kill this mother fucker. No one hurts Norma Jean. No one. I made that mistake once and I will never do it again. I haven’t seen her in over 3 years and I never imagine something like this would have come out of her mouth. Marley must not have any idea or this fucker would already be dead. She shouldn’t have gone off so far away from him. That guy loves her more then anyone.

  I can’t even imagine the fear she must have lived with being with this guy. It goes to show you human nature though. As long as it’s not happening to them, no one will step up. She weighs 115 pounds soaking wet. Maybe. This guy is scum, who beats on a tiny little thing like her. It’s honestly surprising she is still with us. Hell I could pick her up over my head and throw her against the wall.

  My eyes are closed and my hands are shaking, hell my whole body is shaking. I still don’t know what this has to do with Macy, but I’m sure they will get to that. All I need is this dudes name and a couple of phone calls and he’ll learn his lesson on hitting a woman. And picking on someone who has no way to defend herself. God I’m an idiot. If I loved her as much as I say I did, then I would have found her. She would have been with me, and this would never have happened to her. Then I start to do something I haven’t done in years. Cry.

  “I’m sorry Norma Jean. God I’m so fucking sorry. If I hadn’t let you run off this would never have happened. You shouldn’t have to have gone through that. This shit is more fucked up then I’m used to. God, I’m a fucking idiot.” I’m sobbing now and it’s embarrassing but I don’t really care. I don’t really even know why I feel as if this is my fault. But I know in my heart it is.