Fragged

by Zachariah Dracoulis

  Were they bitching about me?

  Were they going to come and save me?

  Did they even care that I was gone?

  Hell, were they glad to be rid of me?

  Those thoughts quickly bummed me out, which was actually a pretty big problem considering the fact that I was going to a lot of effort to keep my spirits up, if only to piss Freddie off by showing him that his ‘torture’ wasn’t working whatsoever, no matter how titty-fuckingly bored I was getting.

  The good news was that I often found something to offset my boredom, for example I saw that they’d brought in a couple of adolescent steggies and hooked them up to the bus, and when I say ‘hooked them up’ I mean they literally hooked them to the bus.

  It was actually kind of hard to watch, but at the same time I couldn’t force my eyes to look away as the freshies followed Freddie’s orders and used hooks and chains to permanently affix the steggies to the bus.

  That wasn’t even the worst part. No, the worst part was the fact that they got someone with some kind of fucked up, Doctor Frankenstein-type special skill to open up the dinos’ skulls and connect all their brains to some kind of computer that they’d placed inside the front of the bus where an engine had once lived.

  They were surprisingly resourceful for a group of guys living in mud huts.

  Oh yeah, and did I mention that they’d gone ahead and used the strongest wood in the game to repair and rebuild the various sections of the bus that were too damaged to simply hammer, including a wheel.

  Yes, a wooden wheel.

  In their defence, they actually did a pretty good job, and while I respected the reason behind replacing all the tyres, including the perfectly fine ones, I have to admit that it was all getting a little too ‘Flintstones’ for my liking.

  You know, if it had been made by Tim Burton instead of Hanna-Barbera.

  “Like what we’ve done to your ride?” some random by the name of BallaPlaya asked after making sure he wasn’t standing directly below me.

  “Bit eXistenZ for my tastes.” I replied coolly as I did my best to not look at the pulsating brains of the steggies, “You one of mine?”

  Balla shook his head at that, “Nah, former Metois,” he said with a smile, “glad to be out of that though.”

  “How come?”

  “Got a bit boring.” Balla replied with a shrug.

  “Heh, yeah, I got a friend who said almost that exact same thing.” I said, trying my best to hide the fact that I was desperately waiting for the boys to at least try to communicate with me, “Seems a bit weird though.”

  “The dino-bus?”

  “No,” I huffed amusedly, “the whole being bored with being in a massive group and then… well, look around you, dude, didn’t you just end up in the exact same place?”

  Balla took a few seconds to respond to that, but he eventually managed to find the words “It’s different.”

  “What makes it different?” I asked with a little laugh, “I mean, same shit, slightly less good.”

  “It’s funner this way.” Balla replied, basically echoing what his compatriots had been saying since I’d been caged, “Besides, it’s good to get a fresh start from time to time.”

  For some reason that phrase sent chills up my spine that were so severe that they managed to make their way to my right with an involuntarily twitch.

  “I suppose I get that,” I said in an effort to distract myself of the almost electrical tickling at the back of my neck, “still though, don’t you ever get tired of taking orders?”

  “Eh,” Balla sighed with a shrug, “better than wandering around aimlessly and getting offed by some rando or dino right as you find some halfway decent gear.”

  “Guess you got a point there…” I replied as a couple of guys started testing out their sick creation that, if I’m being honest, I totally wanted to try out.

  “So… that’s it?” Balla chuckled, “Not even gonna try to convince me to let you go?”

  “Why would I bother doin’ that?” I asked with a weak smile, “Like you said, you’re enjoyin’ it here, I wouldn’t wanna put you in an awkward position.”

  That answer clearly threw Balla off, but he was quick to recover, “You’re a lot cooler than Freddie led me to believe.”

  “I try my best.” I replied somewhat sardonically.

  “No, seriously, I expected to come over here and just have you absolutely beg me to let you go, but instead you’ve just given me some good company.”

  “Would it make you feel better if I said something threatening or more… I don’t know, plead-y?” I chuckled, “Trust me, dude, the only reason I’m not freakin’ out is because I know I’m gettin’ out of here soon.”

  “Yeah?” Balla asked with a curious grin, “How soon?”

  That’s when something happened, something that made me smile so hard it actually hurt my face.

  “A lot sooner than you’d think,” I said as the chat lit up for what felt like the first time in years, “and I mean a lot sooner than you’d think.”

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Yo, Zoey, you okay?

  Chapter Six

  Thankfully Balla was called over to something or other pretty soon after Pete had sent his message, which meant I got to avoid any sort of awkward distraction coming through in my voice, as well as hiding the fact that I was talking to my friends.

  Zoey (Community): What took you so long?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Thank fuck, I was thinkin that they had you permanently knocked out somewhere. Anyway, sorry it took so long, we were tryin to find some place to hole up with the Js. They dont blend so good.

  Zoey (Community): As long as you dudes are all g.

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Yeah, we’re good. How about you? Where are you? We can see you on the map, btu it looks like youre in some forest or something

  Zoey (Community): Freddies got some kinda compound out here. LOTS of dueds. Things primitive AF tho.

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Any chance you can get away?

  Zoey (Community): Im in a cage in the air, so no.

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Paul says hi

  Zoey (Community): Wat?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): He wouldn’t shut up about it. SOrr.y

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Ugh, Chad says hi 2

  Zoey (Community): Hi guys

  Pete took a while to respond after that, no doubt because he was accosting the others about something or other, but I wasn’t complaining.

  The few seconds of silence were enough to allow me to look around, meaning I could keep up the ruse that I was just sitting in my cage and being bored.

  And then a few minutes went by.

  And then a full thirty minutes.

  By the time 45 minutes had rocked around I’d figured one of two things had happened.

  One, Pete had literally had an aneurysm due to the stress of playing the Thren equivalent of ‘no, you can’t have the phone’ game with guys.

  Two, Pete’s fingers had exploded.

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Just hang tight. We’re workin on something now.

  Zoey (Community): Where were you?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Getting into position. Man, theyve REALLY got you locked down in there, dont they?

  If I’m being totally honest, I wasn’t altogether comfortable with the fact that somewhere in the forest that surrounded the compound at least one of the guys was watching me and not doing a thing to help me get down.

  Don’t get me wrong, I knew that that would be a death sentence and that they were undoubtedly thinking up an awesome plan to bust me out.

  Well, I was hoping that anyway.

  Zoey (Community): How long til u can get me out?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Hard to say. I honestly don’t think I even have the ammo to put all those guys down, let alone all those ones in the other compounds.

  Zoey (Community): Other compounds?

&n
bsp; GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Yeah, youre in the middle of four other compounds. Its kinda laid out like the 5 side of a D6. Heh, it’s even got a big box around it

  Zoey (Community): How did they do this so quickly?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): It’s actually all really basic shit. Those walls will crumble the second anythign bigger than a raptor runs at em, and those huts go up in less than a minute.

  Zoey (Community): Still tho, seems like a lot

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Not when your construction crew is arounf 500 strong. Man, we’ve pissed of a LOT of people.

  Zoey (Community): That’s the conclusion I came 2 too. Alright, you go do what you need to do, keep me posted.

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Will do

  And with that, I was alone again.

  Well, as alone as one can be while surrounded by a couple hundred people that all either ignore you or obviously want to rip you apart.

  Chapter Seven

  Night time came and went following my little chat with Pete, along with a whole mess of deaths among the unprepared freshies once the Muties came out to play.

  It was actually really kind of horrifying, watching the green eyes flashing around below me as terrified screams filled the night air.

  Balla wasn’t one of the screamers though.

  Turned out he was actually pretty freaking resourceful and had built himself a little treehouse just outside the boundaries of the centre compound.

  How did I know all that? Simple.

  He told me.

  It was weird, building a rapport with one of Freddie’s men, but he was a solid bloke, and was more than willing to admit that he was just talking to me because it was better than waiting with his dick in his hands for my guys to rock up.

  I appreciated the company though, even if it earned the both of us a fair few confused and concerned looks.

  “I’m pretty sure they’re convinced you’re gonna figure out some way to kill us all from up there.” Balla said from where he sat sharpening a spear beneath me.

  “As they should be,” I joked, “I’m this close to figuring out and actualising my plan to kill Freddie and conquer all these compounds.”

  Balla laughed at that for a second before coming to an abrupt stop, “Compounds?” he asked, causing a ball of anxiety to instantly form in my stomach, “How do you know there’s more than one?”

  Naturally I panicked, but, without missing a beat, I managed to respond with a confident “Didn’t ‘til you confirmed it.” before letting out a proud little sound, “See? I’m a real smart cookie.”

  A few moments that felt like hours went by as I waited for Balla to see through my bullshit, but then he let out an amused sort of huff and I knew all was well, “No wonder you managed to kick our arses,” he said with an impressed chuckle, “you’re damn near prescient.”

  “I wouldn’t put it like that,” I replied coolly, “just a bit observant.”

  “Heh, sure.” Balla laughed before looking over his shoulder at something I couldn’t see behind me, “I better get back to work. Nice chattin’ with you, Zo.”

  “Same, Balla.”

  “Julian,” Balla corrected before turning around and jogging over to the guy who was calling him over, “my name’s Julian.”

  “Julian…” I muttered as I forced myself to change Balla’s name in my head, “Hmm…”

  For obvious reasons, I couldn’t look like I was thinking too hard, but I’d started trying to figure out a way to pull Julian into Zoey’s Fighters.

  I couldn’t speak to his combat skills, but he was definitely quick-thinking and creative, two things that I knew would be useful when I finally managed to bust loose and attack the Spire.

  Now, I realise how cocky that must sound, me thinking that it was just a matter of time before I got out, although it wasn’t like I didn’t have a reason to think that my boys would fail in rescuing me, not after all the shit we’d gone through.

  Granted, I was in a very new position, but with that being said I genuinely didn’t think it was the worse position I’d been in.

  Most powerless, sure, but nowhere near the worst.

  “Cosying up to my men, are you?” Freddie asked somewhat condescendingly, making me aware of his existence as he came up from out of my direct line of sight, “I’d play a bit smarter than that, Zo.”

  “Wouldn’t call it ‘cosying’ so much as ‘killing time’,” I said without making eye-contact, “besides, what do you care? Ain’t like he was doin’ much of anything anyway.”

  “I care because this isn’t supposed to be some little holiday away from your men,” Freddie replied coldly, “speaking of, have you heard from your boys? They must be awful confused without big bad Zoey to lead them around.”

  “Nothin’ yet, wouldn’t be surprised if they decided I wasn’t worth the trouble and just left me here to rot.”

  That clearly wasn’t the answer Freddie was expecting, though he also didn’t seem to mind, and didn’t even bother trying to pull anything else out of me before turning around and walking over to his bus, leaving me to sway as a wind rocked the cage slightly.

  “C’mon…” I muttered as a wave of boredom and anxiety washed over me, “where are you guys?”

  Now, I know it seems unlikely, but as soon as the words had left my lips the chat lit up again with a fresh, if somewhat vague message from Pete.

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Coming tonight. Get ready. No comms.

  Chapter Eight

  Not going to lie, I started to have doubts that the guys were going to show up after a full, mind-numbingly long fifteen minutes of the night went by with nothing happening.

  What? I was eager to get the fuck out of the cage, of course I was going to be a bit impatient.

  Then it happened.

  I spotted an armourless Chad just near the front gate while Freddie’s troops either stole Julian’s idea and made little treehouses or took cover in the ground, using planks of wood and shit to cover themselves up.

  At first I was confused, but then I saw him dart across the compound towards one of the huts, followed swiftly by two freshies, only they weren’t freshies.

  It was Paul and Miles.

  Ignoring the five ‘slain’ messages that had popped up following the three going in, I decided I’d go ahead and let everyone know I’d seen them.

  Zoey (Community): What took yall so long?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): They came in this afternoon, dug their way under the base.

  Zoey (Community): What? How’d they not get spotted with their tags?

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Just didnt let anyone get close enough to see their names. Now stop talking and hold still

  I wanted to ask why, but was stopped before I could so much as start to construct the message as, with a sound no louder than moth’s fart, Pete took a shot at me.

  At first I was thrown, which I think is fair, but after a second shot broke one of the vines keeping me in the air I realised what was going on.

  I was about to start having a silent little celebration, but then I spotted a few heads peeking out of the holes in the ground below me.

  Zoey (Community): Hurry it up…

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): I’m sorry, do you want to try this? I’m shooting two inch thick vines from 500 metres away in the middle of the night, give me some credit.

  Zoey (Community): The freshies are getting suss

  GeriatricSuperHero (Community): Let them, that’s why the guys are down there

  I’d just started typing out a warning when I saw Freddie come marching through the front gate, and boy did he look pissed.

  “What the Hell is going on?” the angry little commander snarled, “Where are they?”

  “Who?” I replied innocently.

  “Don’t play dumb with me, I’ve got two people in the compound across from here nursing bullet wounds, and considering we’re as good as out of ammo…”

 
“I don’t know what you expect me to say,” I said after giving Freddie a few seconds to stew, ignoring the fact that Pete had just managed to shoot another one of the vines, “I haven’t seen or heard anything out of the ordinary. Don’t you think I’d be a little more excited?”

  Freddie naturally seemed suspicious, but I could tell that I was starting to convince him that nothing untoward was happening on his base.

  And then Pete shot another vine.

  To this day, I don’t know how in the holy Hell what happened next came to occur, other than the fact that it was an obvious glitch, much less can I accurately describe what happened, but I can’t begin to explain how grateful I was.

  Basically Pete broke that last vine and, in response, my cage started spinning around like Sonic on a mix of bath salts and speed before launching itself, and, by extension, me, right at Freddie.

  FrederickTheMasterful has been slain (World).

  Now, I kind of wish that I’d been given more of an opportunity to enact some kind of proper revenge on Freddie, you know, something that amounted to more than simply leaving him as a bloody, chunky mess on the ground.

  With that being said, as I queasily clawed my way out of the destroyed cage and struggled not to throw up all over myself I accepted that it was probably for the best that I wasn’t about to be locked into some kind of massive fight that I definitely wasn’t prepared for.

  Bet you can’t guess what happened next.

  Chapter Nine

  “Just stay in your holes!” I shouted after scooping up my guns and mostly destroyed armour off Freddie’s lifeless corpse, what was left of it anyway, “Just stay in your holes and nobody has to get hurt!”

  As should come as no surprise, the freshies weren’t listening, but they were being rather cautious as they slowly came out of the dirt like an army of angry warrior crabs.

  “I could use some help out here!” I called out right as a freshie’s head practically launched sideways after catching one of Pete’s bullets with his temple, “Last chance!”