The Wages of Cin (Cin Fin-Lathen Mysteries Book 4)

by Alexie Aaron

  I looked at Harry and shrugged. “Sometimes you have to leave it for them to work out between themselves.”

  “But you will talk to Michael about Buslowski?”

  “I guess so. I suppose he already knows about Sidney.”

  “No, not about your sleeping with him. He just thinks all this is because of the case. Alex and I agreed that he wouldn’t hear it from us.”

  “Oh Harry, how could I have been so taken in,” I said, letting the tears fall. “Sidney seemed so vulnerable. I thought, hey, I could spend some time making his last years good. I got swept away in a deluded fantasy of my own making.”

  “It happens to all of us,” Harry said sagely. They are hard lessons, but lessons that need to be learned. Who knows, maybe if it hadn’t happened, then you wouldn’t have been familiar with the area and not been able to escape.”

  “Well, that’s a unique way of looking at things.”

  “I’m a unique person.”

  “That you are, Harry, that you are.”

  Dave came in. “Harry, could I have a minute alone?”

  “Yes, but watch yourself, there are nuns around,” he teased.

  Buslowski shook his head. “You are on my list O’Rourke.”

  Dave sat down. “Cin, I have to leave to sort this mess out. There’s a police guard at your door. Until we catch these clowns, you’re going to have to have protection. Don’t fight me on this.”

  I raised my hands. “I’m not. I don’t want to go through that again,” I assured him. He looked a little ill at ease. “It’s okay. You can go. I’ll be fine.”

  “It’s not that. I just want you to know that no matter what you decide to do, I’ll always love you.”

  “Whoa, decide what?”

  “I’m not the only that loves you, Cin.”

  I knew where he was going, and I wanted to assure him, but did I really know my own mind right now? I reached out for him. He leaned in and kissed me. “I want you, Dave. I love you.”

  He smiled, but his eyes were worried. “Take some time. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I nodded. He left, and I closed my eyes. I needed to sort all this out. I couldn’t do it in the hospital, but the doctor wouldn’t let me leave until the remaining swelling went down. I could, however, try to work out this code thing. If my dream of Meyer was my subconscious’s way of telling me something, I better sort it out and soon.

  Harry returned briefly to tell me that he and Alex were going home. He would return with Noelle and Alex after supper. I asked him to bring me a small notebook and pen.

  I barely had time to relax when I had another visitor.

  “What happened to your hair?” Mandy asked from the doorway.

  “I was scalped by a wild electrician.”

  “So I heard.” She came in, bringing a festive-looking bag. “The cop searched it,” she said, a bit put off.

  “They’re just looking for files. I’ve been planning my escape.”

  “This is from dad and me,” she said, handing me the bag. “He’s currently looking into a solo career.”

  “I’m so sorry about Meyer,” I blurted out. “Did anyone notify his partner Sean?”

  “Sean McCaferty? So that’s his partner. I would have never guessed, but I’m quite naïve.”

  “Me too, evidently.”

  “Hey, we’ve all been hurt, but we’re survivors.”

  “That’s a good way to look at it.” I looked in the bag. I pulled out an MP3 player and headphones.

  “I loaded it with my music. I thought you’d be interested. I know it’s a lame gift. It’s like getting a photo of the giver…”

  “No, this is perfect, thank you.”

  “There’s more.”

  I pulled out a tiny basket. Inside of it were half a dozen little straw dolls.

  “These are worry dolls. You see, you give each one a worry to deal with, so you can clear your mind. I play with mine. They help me to focus.”

  I picked up one. “This one looks like you,” I said, touching the doll’s long black hair.

  She laughed. She stayed until my meal came. She squeezed my hand and said, “Get back on your feet, and then call me.”

  “I will. Thank you again, this is so sweet of you.”

  I ate most of my meal and was rewarded for my effort by having my IV removed. The sister told me I could take a shower. She set things up for me, including shampoo. I admit I spent an overly long time under the hot water. Once I had dried myself and put on the fresh hospital gown, I wrapped my hair in a towel and headed out into the room so I could sit down in comfort and try to unknot my remaining curls. I was sitting in the chair with my head between my legs, letting my curls fall forward, when I heard someone enter my room.

  “Did you lose something in there?” Manuel asked me.

  I whipped my hair back and stared at him. “Hello.”

  He smiled wickedly. “Hope you don’t mind the visit, but I needed my muse.”

  “You have to be kidding,” I said.

  He walked in, dropping off his guitar before he leaned down and ran his hand through my hair. “A comb isn’t going to go through this mess. Stop wiggling,” he commanded. “I used to have dreadlocks. Hmmm, how about…” He worked on my hair, and at one point, ripped off the bottom of his shirt and wound it around my head to hide the butchering Sidney did.

  I sat still, and soon he was finished. He helped me up and lifted me into the bed as if I was a child. “Now you sit there and talk to me. Say something snotty. You know, be yourself.”

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve. I may be your muse, but at the moment, I’m feeling rather used.”

  He nodded, drawing out his book. He jotted something down and then looked up. “I’m going to kill Stoneridge and Goodbody for you and Meyer,” he promised.

  “Leave them for the police.”

  “You saw what they did to Meyer, and you can still say that?”

  “I know it’s hard, but Meyer wouldn’t want you to harm yourself by avenging him.”

  “What about you? I heard you killed before; don’t you want to have a little of your own back?”

  “Yes,” I admitted. “But I would ruin my life and hurt my family with my actions. I’m already dealing with hell as it is.”

  “Because of Sidney? That was just some fun.”

  “No, it has to do with those deaths involving me, you heard about. You see, the first death was really an accident, but the second one was deliberate. That maniac was killing someone who meant so much to me. I didn’t think; I acted. I don’t know where I found the strength, but it was there, and then he was dead.” I stopped a moment, trying to pull together the right words. “My conscious mind knows that I did the right thing, but there isn’t a night that I don’t see his blood on my hands when I close my eyes. Manuel, that’s not worth it, believe me.”

  He studied my face and nodded. “You’ve been brave, but maybe being brave has made you careless.”

  “It has.”

  He jotted down more words. He set the book down and opened his guitar case. He took a moment to tune it, and then he played. The music was rich, even in the restrained way he was playing. He sang:

  She was made for sin, red and ripe. I thought I wanted her, but found out I only wanted to borrow her... borrow her

  Cin danced away from me, and I followed

  I would follow her to hell and back

  She had her pride, sustaining every attack

  She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

  She had blood on her hands, but love in her heart. She was brave, but bravery made her careless… made her careless

  Cin danced away from me, and I followed

  I would follow her to hell and back

  She had her pride, sustaining every attack

  She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

  This white knight, in the night, decided to carry her off. Instead she wanted to save herself… save herself

  Cin danced aw
ay from me, and I followed

  I would follow her to hell and back

  She had her pride, sustaining every attack

  She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

  Cin danced away from me, and I followed

  I would follow her to hell and back

  She had her pride, sustaining every attack

  She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

  He stopped singing and let the music take him someplace part of me was jealous that I could not follow. When he finished, I wiped the tears from my face.

  “That was wonderful.”

  “I know. I’m going to use it on my solo album.”

  “I’ll look forward to hearing it.”

  “Would you come up on stage, so I can sing it to you?” Manuel asked.

  “Um, depends on whether I’m having a bad hair day,” I said.

  “Gotcha. Well, I’m out of here.”

  “Thanks for the do,” I said.

  “No problem,” he said, packing up his guitar.

  I heard him say, “Evening, Father,” outside my door. So I wasn’t surprised when Michael walked in.

  “Who was that?” he asked.

  “My hairdresser.”

  “I understand you need some spiritual guidance.”

  “You understood wrong. Hello, Michael, it’s good to see you.”

  “It’s great to see you’re more yourself,” he said, staring at my hair with an odd expression on his face.

  “Thank you for trying to get me in with the good guys,” I said in reference to him giving me last rites.

  “I’m not sure even I can get you past purgatory.”

  I laughed. “Look, I have no IV to hold me down.”

  “You sound a little high. What are they giving you?”

  “Didn’t ask.”

  “That cop, is he still hanging around?”

  “His name is Dave Buslowski, and he is my boyfriend, so be nice.”

  “How the hell… Isn’t he married?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “I suppose you had something to do with that.”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. He wasn’t buying it. “But I want you to be nice to him.”

  “I don’t like him.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s so bossy and old. Come on, Cin, you don’t want to be tied down.”

  “I’m dating him, not going under the plow.”

  “What about me?”

  “I’m not dating you; you’re a priest. Talk about purgatory, yeesh.”

  “Aren’t we friends?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t want you to date Buslowski.”

  “I think that goes beyond the code of friendship, Michael.”

  “I’ve become attached to you.”

  “Then unlatch,” I insisted.

  “Why?”

  “Shut the door, and come and sit down, unless you want all those nuns to overhear what I have to say?”

  He did as I asked.

  “I don’t know what it is exactly you want from me?” I asked him.

  “To be there for me and adore me,” he said.

  “Nothing physical?”

  “There is more to life than the physical, Cin.”

  “Unfortunately, I need the physical. I need strong arms around me. I need to be able to go to bed with someone. Someone that adores me. Someone that accepts that my kids, and that includes Harry, are part of me.”

  “We had a great time together.”

  “In and out of the hospital,” I said, looking around laughing. “I think we’re the kind of people that always end up broken unless…”

  “Unless we have someone looking out for us,” he finished.

  “That’s why I need Buslowski.”

  He nodded. “Take care of yourself. If ever you need me…”

  “I’ll call, and you do the same,” I said.

  He got up and took my hand. “Why didn’t we meet when we were younger, before vows and Harry?”

  “Fate. Maybe God wants it this way? Who knows?”

  He left me, leaving the door open. I stared at that empty space for a very long time.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Noelle looked at me with an expression of frozen horror on her face.

  “I just thought you would rather hear it from me,” I said.

  “You didn’t know the guy. What were you thinking?”

  “I wasn’t.” Explaining Sidney was very difficult.

  “And Dave knows all of this?”

  “Yes.”

  “And he still wants you?”

  “Oh yes.”

  “That’s not what I mean. So you’ve chosen him over Father Michael?”

  “Do you hear yourself? Father Michael isn’t available. He’s married to the church.”

  “But you do have feelings for him.”

  “Of a sort.”

  “But not romantic?”

  “No.”

  “Buslowski kind of came as a surprise, didn’t he?”

  “Surprised the hell out of me,” I said. “There’s always been chemistry, but whoa, I really like him.”

  “I heard when you came out of the coma, you said you loved him.”

  “Yes, I did. I do.”

  “But are you in love with him.”

  “It’s too early to tell. He knows this. We haven’t even had a real date yet.”

  “But you slept with him.”

  “Geeze, you make it sound all sordid when it’s actually quite wonderful. For the first time in forever I feel safe, loved and sated.”

  “Ew.”

  I laughed and got up, walking to the pool’s edge.

  “What did you tell Father Michael?”

  “The truth,” I said, sitting down and putting my feet over the edge. The water felt warm and inviting.

  “I bet you hurt his feelings.”

  “He’ll get over it. He’s a big boy.”

  “Have they caught your kidnappers yet?”

  “No.”

  “So, this investigation isn’t done yet?”

  “Nope.” I slipped into the water. It felt so good. “Come in, Noelle, the water’s great.”

  “How can you be so calm?” she asked.

  “I need to be.”

  She rose. “Don’t overdo the sun. I’ve got to get ready. Dad is taking Alex and me out to dinner.”

  “Have a wonderful time.”

  “You could come too.”

  “I don’t want to. Harry and I have some brainstorming to do,” I said.

  Noelle went inside. I swam a few slow laps, paying attention to my muscles as they moved me through the water. When I finished, I toweled off and went into the kitchen.

  Harry was busy making brownies. My face lit up. “Harry, you’re making brownies.”

  “Yes I am, Cin,” he said in an oddly formal way.

  “You know who loves brownies?” I asked.

  “Buslowski. Why do you think I’m making them?”

  “Is he coming over?”

  “No, we’re going to his house.”

  “We are?”

  “Yes, in thirty minutes,” he said. “Are you wearing that?”

  “No, I better get dressed.”

  “And do something with your hair. You still have that rag in it.”

  “I washed it.”

  “Cin, there comes a time in every stoner’s life when they have to let go of Bob Marley.”

  “You are so cruel, Harry.”

  He smiled. “I’ll give you an hour if you take a shower and wash your hair.”

  “You’re bribing me with extra time?”

  “I think you need to make a little effort.”

  “Okay. But last time I got dressed up, I was kidnapped.”

  “Yes, but I’m here to protect you.”

  “Yes, you are,” I said. “You’re much nicer than Deputy Wilma.”

  “She was rather dour,” he agreed.

  Buslowski
had insisted that for my first few days at home we have a deputy with us. Sidney and Gareth hadn’t been caught yet. But time and manpower limits had progressed, and we’d waved goodbye to Deputy Wilma that morning with the promise that at no time would any of us Lathens be on our own at home.

  I toweled off, checking out my figure. I had lost more weight, much to my delight. I was not thin by any account, but my clothes were loose and comfortable. I decided to dress in layers. I had never been to Dave’s place, so I didn’t know if the air-conditioner worked or was too cold. So I started off with a sexy, little, short outfit and pulled on a pair of sweats over it with a soft hoodie. I wrapped a silk scarf through my hair, trying to disguise the hank of hair that had been cut out of the left front by Sidney. I put on some light makeup, pleased to see my face looked more tan than yellow from the bruising.

  I looked at the clock and ran out of the room carrying the tennis shoes Dave bought for me. Harry was standing at the door. “You’re late.”

  “Do I pass inspection?”

  Harry swallowed hard. “I don’t think Buslowski is going to be able to concentrate on our meeting, but you do look nice.”

  “Thank you. You look nice too, Harry.”

  He blushed. “You’re feeling much better, aren’t you?”

  “Oh yes. I feel much stronger.”

  “The nightmares?”

  “Still having them. I’ve been seeing Meyer. He holds my hand at night and says ‘Duas mãos juntas.’”

  “That’s creepy.”

  “I think he wants me to remember something. I’m hoping that you and Dave with be able to help me.”

  “If Sidney couldn’t jog your memory, how do you think we’re going to be able to do it?”

  “Ouch, you are a nasty little boy, Harry.”

  “I know.”

  We drove to the complex where Dave had rented a condo. We found a parking space and wandered around the quad until we found his door. He answered the door holding onto a phone. He waved us in.