Mess Me Up

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  “And I’m not in the right place, either,” she admitted. “I’m still fucked up over my ex. I have nightmares every night thinking he’s in my room with me, about to strangle me—and that I have no one to blame but myself because I wanted to marry him despite knowing he wasn’t a good man. I walk everywhere because he held buying me a car and teaching me to drive over my head, and let’s not forget the fact that he’d beaten me four times over the course of our relationship, and it was only learning that he’d slept with one of my bridesmaids the night before the wedding that had been the trigger point for me to realize that he wasn’t the man for me. Despite it being years ago now, I still don’t have my shit together. I’m a fucked-up mess, and I have no one to blame but myself.”

  I growled in anger.

  “Your ex-fiancé used mind games on you, as did your parents,” I said, trying not to pry. I had barely managed to keep the “what’s this man’s name” question off my lips for months now. But last night I’d finally learned it, and it was seared into my brain like a brand. Rodrigo. “And it’s nice that you agree, because we really shouldn’t be doing this.”

  I wanted to ask her questions. I wanted to know what made her tick. I wanted to know all the gory details that there were to know, and I wanted to make her feel better.

  I wanted to plant my cock inside of her, and I wanted to make sure that she knew that not every man was an asshole like her father and ex-fiancé.

  Most importantly, I wanted her to know that I wanted her. Fucked-up mess and all.

  I wanted to mess her up, and I wanted her to mess me up.

  I wanted us to be fucked-up messes together.

  But…I had a conscience, and that conscience was telling me that this idea I had in my head about her was something that probably shouldn’t happen.

  She might very well be more screwed than I was, and that was the last thing I needed in my life.

  But for once, my conscience was being overruled by my need.

  And I wanted her more than I wanted anything.

  I wanted to forget with her.

  I wanted to bury myself so far inside of her that all of my aches and pains were forgotten.

  I wanted her, and I hoped she was ready for the man she was about to unleash.

  “I’m tired of caring. I’m tired of everything. I just want to forget the world for a while,” she whispered.

  I could feel her eyes on me, despite not being able to see them.

  And I wholeheartedly agreed with everything she’d just said.

  “I can make you forget,” I found myself saying.

  My voice was ragged and husky, sounding just as desperate as I felt.

  Then I felt her small hands on my face before she pulled me down, her lips searching for mine.

  Turning my head slightly, I allowed her lips to meet mine, and the reins of my control snapped.

  Her lips felt like the softest, warmest, slickest silk I’d ever touched, and she tasted like the strawberry daiquiri she’d consumed hours ago.

  The groan that left my chest when her tongue touched my lips was nothing short of explosive.

  She was so sweet, so controlled, so hesitant that I never once thought she’d want this from me. Knowing that she did, indeed, want this, was playing havoc with my control.

  I had one hand fisted in the pillow above her head, and the other in a death grip on the comforter that was covering her and not me.

  I’d never thought that it was possible to hate a piece of material, but right then I did.

  It was keeping us from fully touching.

  Granted, she still wore her running shorts and I still had on my jeans, but those didn’t stop me from feeling all the softness that was Izzy.

  The stupid blanket that was too goddamn hot and thick did.

  “Oh, fuck.” I breathed against her lips. “Do you know what you’re doing, sweetheart?”

  It was the last chance she would get.

  “Of course,” she breathed. “Do you?”

  That was the million-dollar question. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. That didn’t mean that I was going to stop.

  I had no clue where this would lead after tonight. I had no idea whether it would change the dynamic of our relationship. I had no idea if she wanted a relationship—or if I did for that matter.

  Everything was still up in the air…but I knew one thing.

  I wanted her. This. Right now.

  “Yes,” I said confidently.

  I grinned, then reached blindly to the side table so that I could turn on the lamp.

  I had to see what I was doing. I felt like it was imperative to how this was about to go for both her and me.

  Then my mouth was back on hers, and slowly I started to shove down the blanket that was separating us.

  She moved as best she could without taking that perfect mouth from mine, shimmying and shaking as well as giving me her entire body weight as she tried to lift other parts of her body. When I finally had it down from between us, I nearly groaned at the feel of her full, supple body—even in running clothes—against mine.

  “Wait.” She breathed, reaching over to do something with her phone. Moments later, the flashlight on her phone was lighting the room, and I could see.

  I could also feel her nipples through the thin shirt she wore, and the soft rounded curve of her ass felt even better. My hand squeezed her ass tightly, and she moaned into my mouth, pulling back just far enough that she could latch onto my bottom lip and pull it into her mouth.

  I groaned when she sucked on it lightly, my hands tightening on her.

  Her ass was so soft. So pliable.

  I wanted to bite it.

  She let my lip go and reared up, panting.

  Both of her fists were planted in my chest, and she was flexing her fingers as she tested the muscles beneath my skin.

  “I need your clothes off,” I growled, my eyes still on those lips.

  They were puffy and swollen from my kiss, and her face was red along her jaw and cheeks from my beard.

  “I should shave,” I said idly, eyeing that red.

  I didn’t like that it’d caused her harm—however insignificant it may or may not be.

  She narrowed her eyes. “You ever shave that beard, and I’ll never talk to you again.”

  My eyebrows drew up in surprise. “You like it?”

  Her laugh was husky as she went all the way up, her lower body straddling my hips.

  That’s when her eyes widened at the feel of my cock—cramped and uncomfortable in its tight quarters—beneath her.

  “I’ve dreamed about your beard,” she whispered, moving her hands to the bottom hem of her shirt and drawing it up slowly.

  I nearly groaned when I realized there was a second shirt underneath.

  “You’re a tease,” I panted. “Hurry.”

  She did, making much shorter work of the second shirt than she did of the first.

  “What do I get since I hurried for you?” she asked teasingly.

  I did a sit up and reached for her bra at the same time, yanking the sports bra up so that her beautiful breasts were bared to my gaze.

  They were everything that I’d ever imagined.

  Soft, full, round and perky.

  Her nipples were a dusky brown, several shades darker than her tanned skin.

  She had the sweetest little nipples I’d ever seen, and I wanted to devour them for the rest of my life.

  I groaned and leaned forward, capturing one in my mouth while my other hand went to the other.

  The gasp that left her lips was nothing short of volatile, as if any second she’d orgasm just from my tongue and lips on her nipple alone.

  “I’ve wanted this,” she sighed. “Since the first time I saw you on the television screen.”

  I would’ve smiled had my lips not already been busy.

  Her hands had found their way into my hair—what little of
it there was—and started to pull.

  “Other one,” she pleaded.

  Grinning, I obliged her request and switched to the other lonely nipple, moving my fingers to the original one to keep the peak I’d created hard and tight.

  She breathed out shakily, her breath fanning my face, and said two words. “Want you.”

  My free hand went to her shorts, and I started to shove them down her hips, but they weren’t budging with the position we were in.

  Rolling over swiftly so that she now lay on the bed, I dropped her nipple and refocused on her shorts, pulling them off her—or at least trying to.

  The goddamn things were thick and tight, molding to her body perfectly.

  “They’re running shorts, Rome. I wear them all the time since I do a lot of walking.” She laughed as she started to shimmy them down her legs. “They’re meant to stay in place.”

  I had no doubt in my mind that they would now.

  Those things were better than Fort Knox.

  Had she not wanted them to come off, they wouldn’t have.

  And then they were to her ankles, and I growled when I realized her panties had stayed in place.

  “Fuck,” I growled, reaching for those without taking her shorts all the way off. “You wear too many clothes.”

  She snickered and started pulling her shorts the rest of the way off, stopping when I felt the hair above her pubic bone and growled.

  “I like that you don’t shave,” I told her bluntly.

  Normally I liked it bare, but on Izzy? It worked. Oh, boy, did it work.

  She blushed lightly. “It feels weird when I shave,” she whispered. “I keep the bikini line trimmed down but…nobody ever sees it but me so I didn’t see a point in doing much more maintenance than that.”

  I liked the sound of that even more.

  My dick was so hard at this point that I feared irreversible damage to it, so I started to pull at the button of my jeans, thankful that it popped loose with the first tug.

  That’d been all I’d intended to do, but the way her eyes had zeroed in on my movement had me undoing the zipper, too.

  I didn’t dare do more yet. Not when I wanted to taste her first.

  If my dick got loose, it’d be finding the first hot, wet orifice in her body, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  It was when my mouth started to move down her tummy, heading for the promised land, that she stopped me with her hand in my hair.

  “I’ve never done this before,” she whispered when my eyes moved to lock on hers.

  I blinked. “Like…ever?”

  I also wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

  I know that she’d been pregnant, and despite what teenagers thought, there wasn’t such thing as immaculate conception.

  A dick and a vagina had to actually be introduced, at least a little bit, for it to ever happen.

  It wasn’t rocket science.

  She looked at me sheepishly. “I’ve done it. Just not that.” She gestured to where I’d been descending with my mouth.

  “Nobody’s ever tasted you before?” I clarified.

  She shook her head.

  “Aces,” I teased.

  She rolled her eyes, and then bopped me on the forehead with the palm of her hand.

  “You’re stupid.”

  I snorted and then bent down, biting down lightly on her rounded belly just below her belly button.

  I loved that she wasn’t a thin girl. I loved it even more that she didn’t look like she’d break in half the first time my hips met her ass as I powered inside of her.

  I told her so, too.

  “I love your thighs. I especially love this cute little belly.” I dragged the backs of my fingers of one hand along the lower part of said belly.

  She shivered. “I’ve hated that for my whole life. It doesn’t matter what I do, or how much I run. It’s always there. It never goes away, despite anything I’ve tried to do to make it go away.”

  I growled and sucked some of the skin into my mouth, giving her a hickey right above her left hip bone.

  “I’m not complaining,” I told her, squeezing lightly on each hip with my hands, relishing in the way my fingers sunk into her skin slightly. “I like it. I like it even more that you work it so well.”

  She huffed out a breathless laugh. “It was either be bothered by the fact that I had a stomach, ass, thighs, and boobs, or own it. And I had other things in my life that were a whole lot worse than my body.”

  Not wanting her to lose her train of thought, I moved my mouth down to the spot right above her pubic hair and sucked that skin, too.

  She moaned and shifted her thighs, widening them slightly, inviting me to do what I would.

  Which I did.

  Sinking my shoulders down between her thighs, my entire bottom half now off the bed, I studied her.

  The dark skin of her thighs morphed into a pretty pink pussy, topped with jet black pubic hair that drove me wild.

  And she was wet.

  I could see her sweet, tight pussy slick with her desire.

  I bent my mouth down and circled her clit with my tongue.

  Her flavor burst on my tongue, and the last thing I ever expected to happen happened.

  She giggled.

  “Sorry,” she whispered. “It’s just that your beard is tickling me.”

  I grinned against her, loving the way that she was so different from all the other girls that I’d been with.

  I loved that she laughed during sex.

  I loved it even more that she was honest with me.

  I went for another swipe, this time nearly burying my face into her sweet folds.

  She gasped and slammed her thighs closed, right on my head as she started to giggle even harder.

  “Holy fuck!” she tittered. “Oh, holy shit! How am I supposed to endure this?”

  I brought one of my hands up and pried one of her thighs away from my head, looking up at her smiling face. “I’ve never in my life had this problem before.”

  She started to pant as she watched me.

  She wanted me to do what I wanted so bad that she was shaking with it, but she couldn’t stop the giggling. Or the flinching. Or the hand clenching.

  When I tried to swipe my tongue through her wetness, I was very aware of my beard as well as her gasps.

  “Oh, my God!” she cried out, squirming and laughing. “Stop! Oh, holy shit! Stoppppp!”

  It was at this point that I was laughing so hard that tears were forming in my eyes.

  I did what any man would do.

  I went up to my knees at the end of the bed and shifted so that I could push my jeans over my hips. Then, I slowly crawled between her legs.

  It was only when I had my cock notched against her entrance that I came to my senses.

  I reared back, suddenly sick to my stomach at what I was about to do.

  “Condom,” I told her.

  Something changed on Izzy’s face.

  “You don’t need one,” she whispered.

  I tilted my head.

  “I can’t have another baby…” I told her hoarsely.

  Izzy shook her head sadly. “Neither can I. Ever.”

  Something passed between us then, something unspoken but very real.

  I couldn’t have another kid because I just couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t have a kid because she was physically incapable.

  What a pair we were.

  I dropped down to my elbows, one on either side of her head, and dropped my forehead to hers.

  When her mouth came up to touch against mine, the desire that had dimmed during the last thirty seconds started to rekindle.

  I twisted my hips to try to get my cock back into place, and she took pity on me, lining me up so that I was in the perfect position to just…slide in.

  She groaned when my hips thrust forward, half of my cock filling her in o
ne slow thrust. “You’re big.”

  I grunted. “I’m six-foot-four, Iz. Of course, I’m big.”

  She threw both of her arms around my shoulders and pulled on me until I was giving her my entire weight.

  “Doesn’t mean that I can’t still be surprised that you have a big dick,” she told me. “I haven’t had anything this big ever.”

  She was stroking my ego.

  I bent down and bit her lip. “Maybe you just don’t have the best people to compare it to,” I growled, pulling back and thrusting forward.

  She panted as she tried to relax her body. Each moment she managed to calm herself down, I’d slide another inch inside of her until at last, I was exactly where I’d wanted to be for so long. Inside of her completely, buried to the hilt in her soft slick heat.

  I pulled back enough that I could see her eyes and stared amazed at how hazy they were from her arousal.

  “You feel good,” I rasped.

  She poked her tongue out to lick her lips, and instead of just getting hers, got the both of ours due to my closeness.

  “You need to move.” She clenched her muscles.

  I needed to move.

  I pulled my hips back and then ground forward, twisting my hips.

  She bit down on the muscle of my chest.

  I felt that little nip in my soul.

  “Holy crap,” she breathed. “What was that you just did?”

  I pulled back out, and thrust back forward again, wishing for all I was worth that I wasn’t as close as I was.

  I could do this all day long—if I had control—which I damn well did not.

  Izzy was making me realize that any control I thought I possessed wasn’t an option with her. She broke down my walls and made me feel things I didn’t want to feel.

  She started to suck on the small hurt she’d caused on my chest, and my balls drew up.

  “I’m not going to be the MVP of this session,” I panted. “It’s been too long.”

  Her pussy clenched around me and I swear to Christ I nearly lost it. “That’s okay,” she breathed. “Because I’m really close. You don’t need to have the skills for long. Please move,” she pleaded. “Please, please, please.”

  I moved.

  Not because of her begging, but because I had literally no choice.

  It was either move or die, and I wanted to live—at least long enough to feel the sweet clench of her pussy as she came, at least once.