by Liz Isaacson
“Why wouldn’t you go?” Austin asked.
“I’ve never tried to influence you,” Shane had said. “But I wouldn’t go, because I’m not interested in having a relationship with Dad. If you are, you should go. There’s no right or wrong answer here, Austin.”
So Austin had called his dad back and discovered that he was already at the Luxury Lodge. No, Joanna wouldn’t be there. Yes, Austin could come that night. He’d called Shay as he packed, and he called goodbye to Robin and Shane as he went out the front door. They could survive the weekend with just Robin’s truck, as she was home-based until the New Year.
And that was how Austin found himself on the road leading back to San Antonio, actually looking forward to a weekend with his father. He found him sitting in the warm, rich lobby, holding his phone at eye-level instead of bending over to look at his phone.
“Dad.” Austin stopped in front of him and watched his dad’s face light up as he launched himself out of the chair.
He engulfed him, had always made Austin feel small though he stood just over six feet himself. “Austin.” A booming laugh filled the lodge and he clapped Austin on the back several times as they hugged. “So glad you could make it.”
His father’s presence filled the entire space, drawing every eye. He always had. He was full of personality and charisma, and it was no wonder that he’d come back from the life he’d shattered.
Austin couldn’t help smiling in his presence. It seemed nothing got his father down, nothing upset him, nothing rattled him. Austin envied him for that, and then remembered that jealousy was a quick way to anger, and he didn’t want to go down that path.
“So,” he said once his dad had stepped back and adjust his huge ten-gallon cowboy hat. “Where’s Joanna this weekend?”
His dad’s shoulders slumped, but he straightened them quickly. “Oh, she’s off on a girls’ weekend with her sisters.”
A lie. Austin gaped at his father. He’d just lied to him. “Dad, what’s goin’ on with you two?”
“Nothing. She went to Dallas.” He unplugged the cord he’d been using to charge his phone and sent Austin a mega-watt smile.
Austin refused to be swayed. “Is she coming back?”
The answer flashed through his father’s brilliant blue eyes, and a flash of sorrow blitzed through Austin. “Dad. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” His father waved like he’d taken a wrong turn in the city, not like his second wife had just left him. “It’s fine. It’s not the focus of our weekend. C’mon. Let’s go up to the room and then we’ll go to dinner.” He started toward the elevator bank, and Austin grabbed his suitcase to follow.
He waited until they’d stepped inside the room to say, “What happened with Joanna?” He glanced around the room, which was clearly more than a basic place for sleeping. “Whoa. What’s with the fancy suite?”
Burgundy carpet stretched in every direction, with a full living room before them, and doors leading off both sides of it.
“I upgraded when you said you’d come.” His dad ushered Austin inside and closed the door behind him. “This room has a private hot tub.”
Austin blinked and saw red behind his closed eyelids. Then green. This suite probably cost as much for the weekend as he and his brothers paid for a month on the ranch. And if his father had this kind of money…. The loss of his childhood ranch seemed like such a waste. He and Shane and Dylan had bounced around for nothing. Tried to find a place to belong because of their father’s mistakes.
And you did, Austin told himself. First at Grape Seed Ranch, and now at Triple Towers. They were fine. Good, even. Maybe great.
His dad scurried around, pointing out the various amenities right in the room, and Austin wondered why he was trying to impress him. He stood there, in this luxurious suite he didn’t need, and watched his father blow around him like a cyclone.
Austin felt his dad’s anxiety, and he couldn’t understand it. “Dad,” he finally said. “Dad.”
His father finally stalled, came to a stop while showing off the espresso machine and looked at Austin with wide eyes.
“Slow down,” Austin said, disconcerted that he was acting like the adult here. “Let’s just go to dinner and worry about the gourmet coffees in the morning.”
A smile flashed across his dad’s face. “Dinner. Sure. I’ve got reservations at this great bistro across the courtyard.”
A bistro didn’t sound like the kind of food Austin wanted—and when had his father made a reservation? Confused, filled with adrenaline, and feeling very off his center, Austin followed his dad back down the hall and into the elevator.
By the time they sat down in the dimly let bistro, complete with a vase of roses on the table between them, Austin realized what was going on. “You had this weekend planned as a romantic getaway for you and Joanna.”
His dad didn’t look away from the menu. “I’d already spent the money. Now I get to spend the time with you.” He grinned, but his eyes didn’t settle on Austin.
He was still playing games. How Joanna had stayed with him for over a decade was a mystery to Austin, and he felt a little duped at the promise of a fun-filled weekend at the Luxury Lodge. His dad certainly knew Austin had loved this lodge as a kid.
Does it matter? Austin asked himself. They were here now, and they could have a great weekend without assumptions and manipulations.
“I don’t want to go,” Austin said. “But I don’t want to be lied to either.” He placed his arms over his menu, not having looked at it yet. He stared at his dad, willing him to look at him. Look at him now.
“I didn’t lie to you.”
“This was a romantic weekend with your wife,” Austin said. “And when she left you, you called and asked me to come spend the weekend like it was simply father-son time. What would you call that?”
“Improvising.”
“Dad.”
“All right.” His father let all the pretenses drop. “I just didn’t want the weekend to be such a bust.” He looked miserable, but Austin didn’t want to feel bad for him. He made his own bed. He had to learn how to sleep in it.
“And I hate being alone,” his father finished. “And no, Joanna isn’t coming home. So.” He blew out his breath. “I guess I’ll have to figure out how to stand being with myself.”
Austin had never heard his father speak so honestly, and it was a breath of fresh air. “It’s a good thing to figure out.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Austin wanted to tell him about Shay, but he wouldn’t be volunteering the information. His dad rarely asked anyone about their own lives, and Austin had learned to say, “Wow,” and “Yeah,” and “Oh,” during their conversations.
“It’s a good thing you’re still single,” his dad said. “Women are nothing but trouble.”
Austin blinked, unsure of how to answer. He finally came up with, “Shane and Dylan seem pretty happy.” And they did. So happy it made Austin see green sometimes. At least it had until the past few weeks, when he’d finally gotten Shay to stop fighting against her feelings and go out with him.
But he certainly wasn’t going to tell his dad about her now.
“Illusions,” his dad said.
Austin really didn’t want to talk about this, and he decided to be direct about it. “Let’s not get into all of Mom’s faults right now,” he said. “Or Joanna’s.” Because his dad would never admit his own flaws, Austin knew that. He picked up his menu. “What kind of sandwiches do they have here?”
By the time Austin pulled back into the ranch, he had enjoyed a couple of fun-filled days at the lodge he’d grown up loving. His father had made him angry a few times, but nothing Austin couldn’t handle.
He couldn’t wait until the next afternoon to see Shay, so he headed over to her house though it was dark and close to nine o’clock. They’d talked that morning; she knew he was coming home tonight. He’d texted a couple of hours ago; she hadn’t answered.
So his st
eps slowed, hesitating to a stop when he realized there was an unfamiliar car sitting in front of Shay’s cabin. A fancy sports car the same color as the night surrounding it.
She spilled out of the cabin, her laughter trilling into the sky, with a man right behind her.
Austin stopped, stone cold, his heart catapulting around inside his chest. He stood just outside the reach of her porch light, and neither of them saw him. She walked him to the car, all smiles and giggles, and he gave her a tight hug before climbing into the driver’s seat and backing up.
Austin got out of the way quick when he realized the headlights would illuminate him and show Shay that he’d snuck up on her again. He stood beside a tall tree trunk across the street and watched Shay wave to the car as it drove away.
In the resulting silence, her happy sigh carried to him. Then she turned and bounced back up the steps to her front door.
Austin stood in the shadows, wondering what in the world to do now.
Chapter Eighteen
A knock sounded on Shay’s door, and she laughed as she skipped back over to it. “What did you forget—oh. Austin.” Her emotions spiraled from high to low and everything in between. “You’re back.”
“Yeah, I told you I’d be back tonight.” He wore a stormy look on his face, and she wondered if something had happened since this morning, when he’d called. He’d sounded happy then, and had said things with his dad had gone better than he’d expected.
“I texted to see if I could come over, thinking it might be too late. But then I saw that guy leaving your cabin, and it’s clearly not too late for male visitors.” He didn’t try to come in, though, but stood solidly in place, his hands tucked into his front pockets.
“I didn’t see that text.” Shay tried to control the shakiness in her voice. “Sorry, I had a friend over for dinner.”
“A male friend.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Of a handsome, unknown man laughing with my girlfriend?” His tone could’ve chilled water into ice. “Yeah, Shay, I guess I’m jealous of him. You’ve mentioned no friends.”
“I have too. I was talking to one when you eavesdropped on me, remember?”
“I came in the shed and overheard. It wasn’t like I hid out so I could listen to you talk to…whoever that was. You didn’t even tell me her name.”
“And yet you weren’t jealous of her.”
“She doesn’t drive a fancy sports car or hug my girlfriend with a blissful smile on her face.”
Shay liked that he kept calling her his girlfriend, but she really didn’t appreciate his jealousy or his overprotectiveness or his possessiveness.
“His name is Robert Moss. He was my superior officer in Kansas.”
“What’s he doing here?”
“His grandmother lives in Austin, and he’s down here visiting her, and he came for dinner.” Shay cocked her hip. “Nothing happened. I don’t want anything to happen. We’re friends.” She watched him as he held onto his anger, a stubborn streak in him she’d seen before. “So are you gonna come in and say hello, or just make me heat the whole ranch?”
He stepped inside, his eyes sweeping the space like there might be evidence of her infidelity. Shay smothered a sigh and offered him coffee instead. As they sipped, added more sugar and cream, and sipped some more, the silence between them wasn’t nearly as comfortable as it usually was.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, breaking the tension in the room. “I tend to jump to conclusions.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” she said dryly.
Austin gazed evenly at her. “I’m trying to apologize here. Could we cut the sarcasm?”
The sting in Shay’s chest intensified, and she got to her feet with such a sudden movement, the stool scraped against the floor loudly. “I’ve got an early morning tomorrow,” she said. Translation: Time for you to go, Austin. And take your anger over nothing with you.
He stood too, but he didn’t move toward her in the soft way he usually did before he left. He didn’t come close to her and lean down to kiss her. His eyes flashed with danger—anger—and he set his coffee cup in the sink before walking to the front door.
“See you tomorrow,” he said before leaving.
Shay stared at the closed door, trying to figure out why things had gone off the rails because she’d had a friend over for dinner. She wouldn’t have cared if Austin had joined them. In fact, she wished he’d been back in time to eat with them. She’d been dying to introduce him to someone as her boyfriend.
In the morning, she got up an hour early and got ready as usual. Before going to work on the ranch, she went into town to check on her father. He had recovered quickly from his flu bug, but it hadn’t taken long for him to revert to some of his old ways when she didn’t check in with him regularly.
“Dad,” she said as she entered. The house smelled like scrambled eggs and syrup, his favorite breakfast, and she found him eating it at the dining table in the kitchen. “Hey, Dad.” She gave him a smile as she picked up the stack of mail on the counter. Nothing here. Junk mail. Flyers.
She set it back down. “What’re you gonna do this week?” She thought of her chat with Austin about fathers, and she’d made a promise to herself to try to connect better with her dad.
“Chess,” he said. “There’s a big tournament this week. And they’ve got some of the high school groups comin’ to sing and play Christmas songs for us this week.”
“That sounds great, Dad.” Shay sat at the table with him. “What should we do for Christmas?”
For a moment, Shay saw the life in her father’s eyes. The life that he used to have, before her mother died. He looked younger, like the strong cowboy who’d run their ranch, brought home penny candy from town, and taught her how to ride a horse when she was only four years old.
“I could set up a tree at my place,” she said. “Or here. We could have a little dinner. Open gifts. Just something small. Me and you, and I’m seein’ someone now. He’d probably like to come.”
His eyebrows went up. “You’re dating?”
Shay’s face heated. “Yes, Daddy. It’s normal.”
“Not for you. You told me you didn’t want to get married.”
“I know what I said.” Shay ran her fingers along her brow bone. “Look, it’s Austin Royal, and he’s a nice guy, so maybe he can come too?” She phrased it like a question, and she hoped Austin wouldn’t be in a bad mood during their party. Because he didn’t come across so nice when he’d heard something he didn’t like, or saw something innocent he presumed was more than it was.
“Austin Royal? One of the boys who bought our ranch?”
“He’s not a boy, Dad. He’s thirty-three-years-old. And yes, he’s the youngest Royal brother who bought our ranch.”
His eyes lit up, and Shay could see the wheels turning in his head.
“It’s not because of that,” she said, shaking her head emphatically. “It’s not, Daddy.”
“But you could get the ranch back if you marry him,” he said. “Just like I suggested.”
Shay hated that the thought was still there in both of their minds. It was her dad’s fault they’d lost the ranch in the first place. As she sold the things he hadn’t even bothered to open, fixed up the house so they could sell it, and hauled load after load of trash out of the barns, sheds, and the houses, he’d been there, filling her head with strange ideas for how they could save the ranch.
In the end, they hadn’t been able to save it. They’d had to sell it. And still her dad dreamed of getting it back. Shay had too, for a while. But that dream had died, and it remained six feet under though her relationship with Austin had progressed quickly these past few weeks.
“I’m not dating him because of the ranch. I like him.”
“Some things can have dual purposes.” Her father smiled and looked back down at his breakfast. “Oh, I’m out of eggs.” Just like that, he was back to other things, like perpetuating a fake relationship just to get back
a ranch was no big deal.
Shay left, telling herself over and over that she wasn’t in a relationship with Austin to get the ranch back.
You’re not.
You’re not.
You’re not.
Shay got to the equipment shed early, skipping lunch to do it, so she wouldn’t run into Austin. She couldn’t face him. Couldn’t stand to think that, deep down, she’d never let go of the idea that if she and Austin ended up together, she would indeed have the ranch again.
She did her work in the fields, staying out a little longer than the job actually required, and put her tractor away as dusk fell. The light came on, the buzz of electricity filling the air and the soft glow from the nearby towers causing her to pause and enjoy their beauty.
She loved Christmas. Loved this ranch. She’d been working hard for the past six months, hoping that in six more, Shane, Dylan, and Austin would hire her on permanently.
But in order to really stay here permanently now, she’d have to be in love with Austin.
She wasn’t even sure it was possible for someone to love her. She was prickly, and angry, and she’d vowed never to put her heart in such a precarious position.
But as she walked down the road with Christmas lights illuminating her path, she wondered if she already had.
Worry and fear filled her, making her chest as heavy as her footsteps. She caught lights on in Austin’s place, with figures moving around inside. He’d said he’d be moving in soon, and the thought of having him just a few hundred feet from her front door was as exciting as it was nerve-racking.
She rounded the corner and found him sitting on her front porch in the last of the day’s light. Her stomach dropped to the ground and rebounded back to its rightful place.
His eyes felt heavy on hers as she stepped much more slowly than before. She joined him, tucking her hands between her knees.
“Didn’t see you in the equipment shed today.” His voice rumbled through the silence, oddly comforting in a way Shay had always enjoyed.
“Yeah, I was….” She searched for why she hadn’t wanted to see him. Humiliation? Embarrassment? Anger?
