Bewitching Bedlam

by Yasmine Galenorn

  Relenting, I shrugged. “Fine, I’ll have mercy on you. But dude, you knock next time you come over. Or ring the bell. And if there’s no answer and it’s unlocked, stay out. And I swear, if you find out the name of whoever paid you to fetch my hair and you don’t tell me, I’ll turn you into a hamster and give you to Bubba as a chew toy. Get the idea?” I poured our tea.

  “Yeah, I get it. If it helps, the woman who hired me is a blond bombshell. I swear, if somebody had figured out cloning, this dame could be a duplicate of Marilyn.” He arched his eyebrows and the scent of musk rose again.

  “Monroe or Manson?” I knew just how to bait him.

  Ralph let out a sputter, but then relaxed and laughed. “Either, for my tastes. But no, Monroe. She’s tall, has some sort of allure about her.” He leaned forward. “I think she’s a vampire, Maddy.”

  Vampire? That was new. Aegis was the newest to come out of the coffin about his existence. There were probably fewer than thirty vampires on the island, and most of them belonged to Essie Vanderbilt’s nest. She just happened to be one of the regional vampire queens, and kept aloof, though cordial, relations with the community.

  “New?”

  He nodded. “I don’t remember seeing her around. She wasn’t wearing the mark of the local nest, and most of the loners are well-known. I don’t remember her name. You’d think she would have told me, but I can’t recall. But she’s got everything that counts.”

  I snorted. To a satyr, that meant readily available sex organs. “Dude, you already slept with her?”

  Ralph threw half of his cookie at me. “Stereotypes, always with the stereotypes. No, I did not sleep with her. I draw the line with vampires. Unlike some witches I know.” He touched his finger to his nose, nodding at me.

  “Leave my sex life out of this. Aegis is a wonderful man, even if he’s dead.”

  “He’s a vampire. They’re all the same, in the end—dead and clammy. But no, I didn’t mean I slept with her. She has money and isn’t afraid to use it.” He shrugged. “This is going to sound silly to you, but the woman can carry a tune. We sang together for a good two hours. I think she was bored, but she humored me. Not very many people around here will take the time to sing with us. Including that boyfriend of yours.”

  The only thing satyrs liked as much as sex was music. Money was good, but they loved their music. And then it hit me. Aegis had been a servant of Apollo, who had been in a major fracas with Pan, the god of the satyrs. They’d basically created the first Olympian Idol contest, so to speak, and Apollo won. Pan had never forgotten the slight. It made sense that Ralph wouldn’t like Aegis, even if Aegis hadn’t become one of the Fallen.

  It was hard to fault Ralph for being suckered in. Music to a satyr was like gold to a leprechaun or a big fat juicy steak to a werewolf.

  I let out a long sigh. “Empty your pockets before you go.”

  “Damn it, Maddy. Oh, all right.” Ralph emptied his pockets. A switchblade, a couple grape lollipops, three condoms, twenty-five dollars and some change, and a set of lock picks.

  “Pull up your shirt.”

  As he flashed me, I realized that Ralph had put on about twenty pounds since I’d last seen him. He was still incredibly built, but with a little padding around the edges. But nothing there to say he’d managed to actually get my hair out of the brush. I had no intention of patting him down. I knew where that would lead. For him. Not for me.

  “All right. You’re clean, as far as I can tell. But I’m warning you, Ralph. If this woman actually does get hold of my hair—or any other anchor—I’ll know where to look. And I’ll bring Aegis with me and he’ll take it out of you in blood, and after that, I will turn you into a nanny goat who’s constantly in heat. Got it?”

  Ralph nodded, eyes wide. All pretense was gone and he just looked grateful to be escaping with his skin intact. “I’ll go now.”

  “You do that.” I saw him to the door and locked it, considering putting a reinforcement spell on the lock. But that would make it harder for Aegis when he came home. I glanced at the clock. I still had to get ready for the after-party.

  After-party! Crap. I raced back upstairs to get dressed.

  By the time I decided on what I wanted to wear—a black Bohemian gauze skirt with a skull-patterned corset, a silver-colored belt, and black lace-up leather boots—Sandy had arrived. Franny peeked around the corner of the door to my bedroom. I’d warded it heavily so she could only get in if there was an emergency, and she knew better than to fake one.

  “Your friend is here. The blonde.” She sniffed, affecting a long-suffering tone.

  “You don’t like Aegis because he’s a vampire. What the hell is wrong with Sandy?”

  “She’s not very lady-like.”

  “Neither am I. Go bother Bubba. He’s always up for a good spar.” I shooed her away. Then, wrapping a silver and black shawl around my shoulders, I headed downstairs.

  Franny was nowhere to be seen, but Sandy was petting Bubba, taking care to steer clear of his belly. Cjinns were sneaky. While they were all cat on the outside, in their heart and soul they were djinns and they granted wishes based on belly-rubs and how persnickety their mood was.

  A happy and purring cjinn? Might be magnanimous. An irritated cjinn would twist your words into the worst possible meaning. Trouble was, they could read emotions and—I suspected—thoughts, to a degree. If you offhandedly were talking to a friend while petting a cjinn’s belly and you happened to say, “I wish I had a million bucks,” you might very well find yourself the owner of a very large herd of elk. Mostly, it was safest to avoid the stomach area, especially when Bubba offered his fuzzy tum-tum up for adoration.

  “You look good.” Sandy gathered up Bubba, kissed him on the nose, and gently tossed him on the sofa. He gave her the stink-eye and wandered off. “In fact, you look good enough to eat. Hope Aegis has been topping off the tank at the blood bank lately.”

  I snorted. The local blood bank also took donations for vampires who didn’t want to drink from humans. Aegis used it more often now, given how I felt about him dining on our friends. “Yeah, he has. And you look good, too.”

  Sandy Clauson was five-nine, thin, blond, and seldom showed up for anything other than parties in yoga pants and a crop top. She had the abs for it but despite the new-age getup, she was as experienced a witch as I was. We had been in the same coven for years, and friends for what seemed like forever.

  THE MOONRISE COVEN had been around since 1950. I had been one of the founding members, along with Sandy, and Linda Realmwood, whom we agreed would take the role of High Priestess, given neither Sandy nor I wanted the responsibility. Linda had the power to hold the title and the wisdom to wield it.

  Linda’s great-great-grandmother had originally been from Norway before arriving in Newfoundland around 1000 CE. Over the years, her descendants moved southwestward into what was now the United States, long before Columbus ever set foot on native soil. The family intermarried with Native Americans, and eventually, Linda’s mother-to-be, Greta, married Mohe, a Cherokee brave from the AniWaya Clan. Mohe brought Greta into the tribe as his wife and in 1797, Greta gave birth to a daughter, Linda, and gave her her own family name—Realmwood—as was her family’s custom. Linda took on the wolf spirit for her animal guardian, given her father’s tribe was the Wolf tribe, and she learned her mother’s magic.

  Linda had also been elected mayor of Bedlam in 1995 and nobody would let her even think of retiring. She did a good job and everybody trusted her.

  “SO WHAT’S THE theme of this shindig?” Sandy wandered over to the bar and poured herself a snifter of brandy. “Want one?”

  “You have to ask? Of course I want one. And tonight is a pre-Solstice party for the band and their families. I’m making eggnog, so let the brandy flow.” As I accepted the drink and gently swished the drink, warming the glass in my hand, Sandy glanced around.

  “So where’s the food?”

  I grinn
ed. “You know I don’t cook beyond a few cookies or a boxed cake. The caterer will be here in about twenty minutes.” I paused, then said, “I was in the shower earlier. I heard something in the bathroom and when I peeked out, I found Ralph Greyhoof trying to steal hair from my brush.”

  Sandy stared at me. “Is he still alive?”

  “Yeah, and he’s lucky he is. Thing is, he told me some chick paid him to do it. And get this. She paid him both with money and a sing-along. Have you heard of any strange vamps moving into the area lately? He thinks she was a vampire.”

  “No, but this doesn’t sound good at all.” Sandy scowled. “Maddy, you know what hair’s used for. You think Ralph might be lying? That he was going to pay somebody to throw a whammy on you?”

  “Well, at first I did. My thought was that he wanted to hex the B&B. But the more he talked about the woman—I’m kind of convinced he might be telling the truth.” I motioned for her to follow me into the kitchen.

  “Don’t be too sure. The Greyhoofs are an old family, but they’re crafty. I don’t know that I’d trust anything Ralph said. Be careful, Maddy.”

  She made a good point. The Greyhoofs have been on Bedlam for more than a hundred years, and they were known for rabble-rousing and causing general havoc. They were in jail so often that Delia—the sheriff—joked about putting in a revolving door for them.

  “There is that. Well, I’ll look into it more tomorrow. I guess I’d better tell Aegis, even though I wasn’t going to. If he found out on his own, Ralph would be a few pints low before anybody could intervene. Now, help me set up these tables?”

  Aegis had brought up three long tables up from the basement. The dining room had plenty of space for them, since we didn’t have a formal table yet. The buffet would taste just as good on metal and plastic as it would on solid oak.

  As we wrestled them through the kitchen door, Franny reappeared. She stood to one side, frowning. Half of her was still inside the wall next to the stairwell, and her arms were crossed as she stared at us with a pointed look of disdain.

  “Those are ugly. When I was alive, my mother had a beautiful cherry wood table. You should buy something like that.” She tsked at me.

  “Franny, can you just give it a rest for once? You do nothing but complain all day. What—besides painting the kitchen pink—will make you happy?” Exasperated, I swung on her, wanting nothing more than to exorcise her right then and there.

  Franny jerked back, as if I’d slapped her. “You know, I can help you if you’d give me a chance. Just because I’m a ghost doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. It gets boring just standing around watching everybody else go about their business.” She arched her back and pulled out a fan. If she had been hiding it, I had no idea where and I wasn’t going to ask. In an affected voice, she added, “I can do a lot of things that you don’t know about.”

  I wanted to shoot back, “Besides complain?” but decided to drop it for the night. I was tired of sparring with her and truth was, I suddenly felt sheepish. After all, I had the advantage. For one thing, I was a witch. For another, I was still alive. Franny was just an unlucky spirit who—for whatever reason—couldn’t move on. And it must suck to be stuck in one house for eternity. Come to think of it, I didn’t even know whether I could exorcise her. There were so many variables involved.

  “I’m sorry—” I started to say, but she vanished.

  Sandy arched her eyebrows. “Sensitive much?”

  “I guess being trapped in a house over two hundred years would tend to set a person on edge. I really need to find out more about her story. I haven’t had much of a chance to do anything else but work on this house.” I paused, trying to think about it from Franny’s perspective. “She lived here when she was alive, I do know that much. And she died by falling down the stairs while reading a book. I suppose it really does hurt to see the home she grew up in being gutted and changed so much.”

  “Either that, or she’s just a grouch. Here, help me tip this upright.”

  Sandy had opened the table we were carrying and unfolded the legs. We set it up and then went back for the other two. Once they were standing, I found the tablecloths—long, green linens—and we were arranging them as the caterers arrived. Sandy and I retreated to the living room, giving them control of the kitchen and dining room.

  The caterers had no more set up the food when the door opened and Aegis strode in, followed by the band members and their families. I decided I could wait till later to tell him about Ralph as he swung me into his arms and gave me a long kiss. But as his lips touched mine, I could sense that something was up. He felt…nervous.

  “Is something wrong?” I murmured.

  Aegis shifted, just enough to tell me I had hit a chord.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. It’s been an odd evening.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Nothing that I can’t handle. Band stuff.” And he went back to kissing me.

  Keth, the drummer, passed by, clapping Aegis on the shoulder.

  “Get a room, dude.” But he laughed as he said it. Keth was half-satyr, half-human, with a spiked Mohawk. His ears were stretched with heavy gauges and he was heavily tattooed. Residual horns poked out of his head, but they weren’t fully formed and they never would be, given his heritage. He had feet rather than hooves, but he was a very hairy man.

  “Hey Maddy, thanks for hosting the spread.” He immediately headed over to the tables of food and began to pile a plate high.

  Sid was there, sans wife and kids. “Sylvia sends her love, Maddy. She’s still tired. I told her to stay home with the kids and nanny and watch TV.”

  “How’s the baby?” I wasn’t really geared toward maternal feelings but I cared about Sid and Sylvia. However, I had the feeling she could use more than one nanny. With five very active Fae children, the stress had to be high. But I decided to forgo offering unsolicited advice. Sid couldn’t afford to hire more help. Not all of the Fae were rolling in dough. Especially the artists and musicians. Actually, a number of those who chose to live in the human world instead of their own seemed to find it rough going.

  “The baby’s a handful, all right. She’s already causing havoc.” He beamed, looking proud as a peacock. Sid and his wife were aiming for ten kids, and I couldn’t imagine the mayhem that was going to generate. But they loved the bustle.

  As everybody poured into the dining room, gathering around the spread, Aegis slid his arm around my waist. “You did a fantastic job.”

  “The caterers did most of the work.” I nestled into his embrace, still feeling unsettled. My radar was buzzing and I wasn’t sure what I was picking up on. “But yeah, things seem to be going over well. How did the show go?”

  A slight but subtle tensing of his arm told me I was right. He was concerned about something. “Everything went fine. Why?”

  I forced myself to relax. “I just wondered.”

  He didn’t answer, just kissed me on the head and moved over to talk to Jack-Az.

  I headed into the living room where Sandy was leaning against the wall, watching the interplay. While she was a socialite, my best buddy was also extremely observant and I trusted her judgment. I joined her, drink in one hand and a cookie I’d liberated off of somebody’s plate in the other.

  Lowering my voice, I asked, “Does Aegis seem tense to you?”

  She glanced over at him, watching for a moment. “Yeah, he does. So do his band mates.”

  I was about to say something when I heard a yowl from upstairs. It was Bubba, and he sounded pissed or hurt.

  “Oh hell, what’s going on?”

  I shoved my drink in Sandy’s free hand and darted up the staircase. Bubba might be a little turd at times, but he was my little fuzzy turd. I followed the parade of hisses that came tumbling down the stairs. As I slammed open the door to my bedroom, I caught sight of Bubba, arched up like a Halloween cat. He was in front of the French doors leading out onto the brand-
new balcony. I’d gone tumbling off the old one when the railing gave way weeks ago, so that was one of the first things I’d asked the Alpha-Pack to fix.

  “What’s going on? What’s out there, Bub?” I cupped my hands to the windowpane, peering out into the icy night.

  It was snowing outside, and didn’t look like it was going to stop any time soon. A number of Winter Fae lived on the island and they attracted all that went along with the Winter Court. Bedlam was located on the northernmost tip of the San Juan Islands, northwest of Ferndale. As a result of all the magical energy and the positioning, winters here were a lot harsher than on the southern islands. This storm, fresh off the westerly winds, was blanketing us with snow.

  The twinkle of faerie lights shimmered from my balcony. I loved them, and kept them up year-round, but in the snow, they glowed with a gentle radiance that always made me feel calmer. Except right now, calm wasn’t quite the word, with Bubba hissing like a wildcat.

  “What’s out there, Bub?” I leaned against the window, cupping the glass as I pressed my face against it. I couldn’t see anything, but Bubba seemed positive there was something out there. “What do you see?”

  He glanced up at me. “Mrowf.”

  That wasn’t good. I knew that meow. He had constantly used it on my ex. It usually meant Enemy at the gate!

  “Is there someone out there who’s dangerous, Bubba?” I knelt beside him, glancing back out the window. I tried to make out any movements outside. But only the snow seemed to be moving—falling fast and thick.

  Bubba nosed the window and I followed his gaze. In the faint glow of the lights on the snow, I could see what looked like footprints in the snow. Someone had been outside my bedroom on the balcony. They weren’t my footprints. I hadn’t been out there since morning and the snow had covered what prints I had left.