by Lara Wynter
Doubts crowd my mind as I slowly push open the door and go in. What if Joss doesn’t want me anymore? What if he thinks I betrayed him by getting engaged to Vance? What if he doesn’t understand? My emotions are so tangled as I finally enter the dimly lit bedroom.
Joss lies on his back, still fully clothed. He hasn’t even removed his boots. One arm is thrown back over his head. I approach slowly, barely daring to breathe. His lips are slightly parted, his breath slow and even. Dark shadows lie like bruised smudges beneath his eyes. His face is covered by a few days of stubble — more than I’ve ever seen before. His dark hair is tousled and pushed back off his forehead.
He lets out a groan and I jump back, startled. Do I dare wake him when he looks so exhausted?
I approach the bed again. “Joss,” I whisper softly.
He doesn’t move or open those stormy-blue eyes. I want to look into their beautiful depths again. I want to lose myself in his warm embrace, but I'm afraid. I’m just so scared that it won’t be the same, that he won’t feel the same. What if he’s decided that it's just not worth it? Why risk yourself for someone like me?
Maybe I should just go back downstairs. It might be easier to accept rejection if I’m with other people who care about me. Joss and I can just be friends, right? He found the gun in my locker, so I know he still cares about me enough to want to help me. But I’m free from Rudy’s clutches for now. He doesn’t owe me anymore than that.
I take a step back and then pause. Joss groans again and flings his hand out so it hangs over the edge of the bed. And I’m drawn, like a moth to a flame. I move closer and my hand moves to gently caress the hand extended toward me.
Chapter Nineteen
Joss
My eyes open, and I struggle to claw my way back to full consciousness. I must still be dreaming because Willow kneels beside the bed, holding my hand in both of hers. If I’m asleep, I don’t want to wake up, but this doesn’t feel like a dream. All my dreams turn into nightmares. She’s looking down at my hand. I will her to look up, but she only sighs.
I try to work some moisture back into my dry, raw throat so I can speak.
“Will-ow,” my voice cracks.
Her eyes fly to my face, her soft lips parted in a surprised O.
“Are you really here?” My voice comes out deep and raspy.
A tentative smile comes over her beautiful face. “I’m here.”
I swing my legs over the bed so I can sit up. My eyes feel like I've rubbed them with sandpaper. I scratch my prickly jaw. I must look like death. Willow still kneels on the floor, so I’m higher than her now. I reach tentatively out and let my fingers trace a line down her cheek and along her jawline. “So beautiful,” I sigh.
She smiles more fully and brings her hand up and over mine, where it still rests lightly against her jaw. “You look tired.”
I return the smile. “There’s no way I’m going back to sleep now. You might disappear again.” I grasp her hand gently and bring it back onto my lap.
She shakes her head slowly, not breaking eye contact. “I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you send me away.”
“That is never happening.”
A slight blush shadows her cheeks. “You don’t know … everything. You might not feel that way after I tell you.”
I gently lift her chin so she’s looking into my eyes again. “I know about Vance. I know about the wedding.”
Willow grimaces. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” She shakes her head from side to side rapidly. “I promise I never wanted to get engaged to another man.”
I look down at her ring finger. It’s unadorned. “You’re not wearing a ring.”
She sniffs. “Yours is the only ring I ever want to wear.” She tries to pull away, her expression one of shocked horror at what she’s just admitted.
I pull her in against me and run my hand down her hair. “You can’t run from me now, Willow. It’s too late for that. Believe me, it’s my ring I want on that finger too.”
“But how can you forgive me for almost marrying another man? I didn't stay true to the promises we made to each other.”
“Sweetheart, unless you willingly entered into this engagement, there’s nothing to forgive.”
She pulls back, her eyes search my face for the truth she’ll find there. “You’re really not mad?”
“Jealous as anything, maybe.” I grin. “But mad, no. Definitely not that.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Joss Reid.”
“Believe me, baby, I feel the same way about you.”
Willow reaches up and buries her hands in my hair.
I almost come undone. “I need to kiss you now. I need you. More than the air I breathe, more than my own life.”
Willow grins cheekily. “Then shut up and stop talking already.”
I bring my mouth down. Willow's lips part and her warm, sweet breath entices my lips.
“Hey, guys. How did the reunion go?” Sophie’s cheerful voice breaks the moment, and Willow pulls back from me and spins around.
Sophie’s hands fly to her cheeks. “Oops. I did it again, didn’t I? I was sure I’d given you two plenty of time to get reacquainted.” She winks.
Hunter enters the room and pulls Sophie back against his chest. “I told her to wait until you came downstairs, but you know what she's like.” He breaks into Sophie’s hit song, Reckless Heart. “Reckless heart beats so fast. Act now, later will take care of itself. Jump right in. Dreams can come true. Do you see me, can you catch me? Ain’t nothing gonna get in my way.”
Sophie joins in and sings with gusto. “Impulsive, hasty, unpredictable, ha! Call me what you will, think what you do. You go your way and I’ll go mine. Dreams so high, but I’ll get there. Reckless heart beats so strong.”
This song is all about Sophie’s impetuous nature. It’s impossible to be angry with her for long. Although nothing is going to stop me from kissing Willow when we have another moment alone. I vow to myself to make that happen as soon as humanly possible as I join in singing.
“Reckless heart beats so fast. Reckless heart, beats so strong. Though the dark closes in. I’ll fight through, I believe. That a reckless heart can find love.”
Despite my best intentions, I didn’t manage to get my alone time with Willow last night. Taking another bite of toast, I glance at the stairwell again, as if that will make Willow appear sooner. After we spent what felt like hours filling everyone in on our time apart since Rudy abducted Willow, it was late and both of us were having trouble staying awake.
After a solid eight hours of sleep, I’m feeling almost human again. Willow’s recent illness means she needs her rest, so as much as I want to see her immediately, I need to wait. At least we have the day to spend together. Hopefully, the first of many.
I take another sip of coffee. Hunter has the best coffee. I need to get him to order me some. The beans are roasted perfectly, with hints of caramel, cocoa, and hazelnut. I close my eyes, lean back in my chair, and sigh.
“You’re looking a lot better than last night.”
My eyes fly open at Willow’s sweet, sweet voice. Her red-gold hair is pulled back into a messy bun.
I stand and rub my hand across my clean-shaven chin. “You prefer this to the beard, then?”
She steps closer and runs her fingers down my cheek. “Mmm, you smell good too.”
I glance around the empty kitchen and grin. “And we’re all alone right now.”
“Hmm.” Willow steps closer still. “What do you think we should do about that?”
She’s flirting and confident and I love it. I reach behind her head and remove her hair tie. Fiery waves tumble around her shoulders, releasing a vanilla and floral scent.
And I thought the coffee smelled good.
I lower my mouth and place a light, teasing kiss on her glossy pink lips.
Willow growls in the back of her throat and pulls my head back down. Our lips come together as our feelings lead the way. All co
nscious thoughts leave as our bodies take over. My hands are in her hair and her hands clutch the back of my shirt. It’s frantic and messy and the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Finally, I pull back and we take our time in a slow and lingering kiss. Using my last remaining shred of willpower, I end the embrace, taking a step back. Willow’s hair is delightfully mussed and her cheeks are flushed. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I will remember this moment for the rest of my life. The urge to get down on one knee and make promises of forever is strong. But I can’t… at least not yet.
Willow isn’t free of Gadsden. Not until he’s behind bars, or six feet under, will she be truly free to be mine forever.
“I love you, Willow.” The words somehow don’t seem to encompass all that I feel in this moment but her answering smile is enough to make me want to pull her back and kiss her sweet lips some more.
She licks her lips. “I… I love you too.” She flushes. “It feels so good to actually be able to say that and not just think it.”
I step closer. Willpower be damned. The worst sound I can possibly imagine intrudes as my phone trills loudly on the kitchen counter. Willow looks over at the offensive object.
“Just ignore it,” I growl softly.
Willow’s gaze flicks between me and the phone. “What if it’s important? What if it’s about Rudy?”
I breathe out heavily and pick up the phone. It’s Will, the bass player of my band. “What is it?” I snap into the phone.
“Hey, sorry to call, man. You know I wouldn’t if there was a way around it. We thought the album was all wrapped up, but we got a call from Blythe this morning and we have to redo the vocals on Doubt but Never.”
I curse. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Yeah, sure, you just got your girl back, and I’m gonna prank you with a call like this.”
With Will, you just never know. He does love a good prank. The more painful, the better. “Is Har there? Put Harrison on.” Harrison would never joke about something like this.
“Sheesh, dude. I’m hurt that you’d even suspect this was a prank.” Laughter comes over the line. “But yeah, if it was, this is totally something I’d do.”
“Hey, Joss.” Harrison comes on the line. I can still hear Will and Jase’s laughter in the background and then it abruptly cuts off.
If Harrison has left the room, this is no joke. “I have to come back in, don't I?”
“If there was any other way… I’m sorry.” His voice lowers. “I think someone may have corrupted the recording. It was fine when we listened back and then something happened. Perhaps, you shouldn’t come back here. It could be dangerous.”
My blood boils. If I’ve put the rest of the band in danger through my actions ... “If you guys are in any danger, any at all, I think you should just leave — now! And screw the consequences.”
“Calm down, Joss. I don’t think the rest of us are in danger. It’s you and Willow he wants.”
“And what if he decides to use you to get to us?”
Silence falls.
“Har?”
“You’re right. It isn’t worth the risk, and we can always record somewhere else.”
“It’s just my part that’s messed up, yeah?”
“Uh, huh.”
“So technically, I just need to redo the vocals, and I can do that here.”
“Where exactly are you?”
“I shouldn’t say. Ears could be listening,” I reply, trying to keep the concern out of my voice.
“Right. This is all just so...so crazy. But you’re right, we don’t need to take any chances. How will I get the tracks that need to be fixed to you?”
“I’ll send you the details once you’re on the way home.”
“You got it. Stay safe, Joss. You and Willow both.”
“You too, bro. Talk soon.”
I end the call. My gaze turns back to Willow. She looks pale and frightened. Why does nothing ever seem to go smoothly when we’re together? Is the universe conspiring to keep us apart?
I pull Willow in close and fill her in on the other side of the conversation. When I finish, she looks at me, a strength on her face I’ve come to know well.
“If someone at Horsham House is messing with your album, it has to be a trap to lure you back there, right?”
“Could be. We’re pretty sure at least Maggie is working for Gadsden and possibly some of the other staff.” I blow out a breath, feeling exasperated. “We just don’t know who we can trust.”
“So you can finish recording somewhere else?”
I nod, my brain churning through various possibilities. “Hopefully, I can do it here. Although I really don’t want to stay here that long and risk putting Sophie and Hunter in danger too.”
“What if we went back to the ranch? Could you make the recording there?”
I shake my head. “Unfortunately not. I record demo tracks there but it isn’t what I need to get a proper vocal done. I owe the guys more than that after everything I’ve put them through.”
“Soph and Hunter are amazing, but you're right. I don’t think we should risk putting them in danger.”
“No doubt they’d disagree.”
“Willow nods. “So you’re thinking we don’t tell them why we have to leave?”
“Exactly!” My girl is so smart. She just gets it, and she’s willing to put the safety of my friends, her friends now too, above her own safety. “We’ve been here long enough that Gadsden’s guys could come sniffing around here anytime. We need to be long gone before they do. There can be no hint that we were ever here.”
“Where can we go?”
“Let me discuss some options with Jasper and we can go from there.”
Chapter Twenty
Willow
Joss brings the car to a stop in the dimly lit parking lot behind the studio. Only one other car, a dark red corvette, sits in the semidarkness. Joss comes around and opens my door. Jasper is already checking the area, looking lethal in his charcoal suit and crisp white shirt. No doubt he has an assortment of weapons stashed on him somewhere. I shiver. I’m glad he’s on our side. By contrast, Joss is rocking a pair of black denim jeans and a gray jacket over a fitted white tee. His hair is pulled back off his face instead of its normal tousled disarray. I ache to pull it free and run my hands through it. Focus. I need to focus on what we're here to do, not fantasize about kissing the drop-dead gorgeous rock star.
Joss takes my hand and leads me to the back door of the studio. I have to bite my lip to stop from squealing like an adolescent schoolgirl. This recording studio belongs to none other than Deep Hunt records. And we’re meeting up with no other than Infusion Deep’s lead singer — Finn Holloway.
Like me, Finn had a terrible childhood. An absent mother, an alcoholic father, and a psychotic older brother. If anyone understands what my life has been like up to this point, it would be Finn.
Like many others, his songs help me understand that it’s possible to gain freedom from my own dark past. That it is possible to find love and keep it. He found his one true soul mate and is now living happily ever after.
I sigh and berate myself for my own cheesy musings. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.
Joss squeezes my hand. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“Just hoping I don’t embarrass myself in front of the mega-famous rock legend.”
Joss chuckles. “What am I, chopped liver?”
I snort-laugh unattractively, which of course is exactly when the door opens and the man himself steps out.
Finn’s intense gaze lands on me as I try to compose myself.
“Hi,” I say with an awkward wave.
Finn smiles, and it’s hard to focus. He’s an insanely attractive man, after all, with his black hair and piercing blue eyes. Not that I want anyone other than the beautiful man at my side. It’s just going to take a little getting used to. I feel like I know Finn through his songs. I’m sure all his fans
feel the same connection.
“Hey, you must be Willow.”
I gulp and nod.
“She’s a little star struck,” Joss, the traitor, announces with a smile.
Finn chuckles. “It’s good to see you again, Joss.” They exchange a typical ‘man hug.’
“You know him?” I ask incredulously. “I thought you were just friends with Hunter and Sophie.”
“It’s not like we’ve spent a lot of time together, but you get to meet most people in this business eventually.” Joss says by way of completely inadequate explanation.
Finn ushers us through the door. Inside, the studio is all warm light and glowing golden timber. It’s gorgeous. We make our way to some sort of control room or something. A desk with a million knobs and dials sits in front of a window that overlooks a room with all the instruments and microphones. I didn’t get to see a lot of this side of things when I was working at Horsham House. It’s completely fascinating.
I move closer to what I think is called the sound desk. “How does anyone ever learn what all this does?” I whisper.
Finn moves to stand beside me. “It’s awesome, isn’t it?”
I nod mutely.
Finn’s fingers fly over the board as he makes various small adjustments. And then music fills the room. It’s one of the songs off the new album. The music cuts off.
“All warmed up?” Finn asks.
I glance up, surprised to see Joss is already behind the glass, headphones on, all ready to sing into the fancy-looking mic. When did he have time to go in there?
Joss gives the thumbs up and the music plays again, only much more softly this time. I watch entranced as Joss sings. Finn makes a few minor adjustments, even though it sounds amazing to me just as it is.
“Where is everyone else? Shouldn’t there be, I don’t know, some more people here or something?” I ask Finn.
“You’re right. Usually you’d have a sound engineer at the very least, but seeing as how your situation is rather, ah precarious, we thought it might be best if I fill in for now.”
