The Defender

by Lindsay McKenna

  “It was very nice,” Katie agreed. “I feel lucky to be living in the house with Iris and Rudd. “I feel so sad for Rudd, though. He hasn’t recovered from his ex-wife, Allison, trying to kill Iris and Kam. Tonight was one of the few times he seemed really present and happy.”

  “You have to admit, it’s a helluva shock for your wife to go gunning after your mother and daughter.”

  “I know.” Katie sighed. “Allison has been in prison for a year. Her two children, Regan and Zach, live in town. They moved out of the ranch and abandoned Rudd and Iris. Those two had everything, Joe, but they chose their mother over all of this. Iris and Rudd have never done anything but shower them with love and money. They wanted for nothing.”

  Joe watched a meteorite streak across the sky to the west. He heard the pain in Katie’s tone. “What is it about a mother, whether she’s a good or a bad person, that the child will always choose her?”

  “I don’t know. I guess, in some ways, I’m in the same boat.” Katie slowed and turned and looked up into Joe’s pensive features. He was incredibly handsome and self-assured. “My mother is a criminal, Joe. She’s been in prison. And yet, I find myself absolutely fearful she’ll throw me away again. She’ll take one look at me and decide I’m ugly, or...” She avoided his sharpening gaze and stared at the concrete at her feet.

  “Listen to me,” he said in a hushed tone, gripping her arm, “don’t go there. You are the jewel, Katie. You might have had a rough time growing up, but you were never in prison. And, yes, she’s a drug addict. Probably still is, but that’s to be determined. You’ve never taken drugs, Katie. Everyone had wine tonight except you. You stay away from anything that might be addictive.”

  She felt the warmth of his strong, caring hand on her upper arm. Joe was only a foot away from her, his eyes burning with care. The desire to reach up on her tiptoes and kiss his mouth shimmered though her. For a moment, the fear was erased, and in its place was a dawning realization she liked Joe. Katie could feel the monitored strength of his hand on her arm. Past relationships vanished with Joe right in front of her. He was staunch, confident, funny and sensitive to her needs. Drowning in his burning look, she felt the energy flow through her, wrap gently around her heart and then, like a bolt of lightning, dive into her lower body. Katie inhaled his male scent. It was wonderful and simply increased her desire to kiss him. But she couldn’t.

  Stepping away, she gave Joe a soft smile. “I think intuitively I know what will keep me healthy and what won’t. I’m not sure where the knowing came from. A drug addict created me.” She sighed and looked up at the sparkling night sky, feeling a peace descend upon her. “Iris and Donna have said that children come through a parent, not from them. I’m not like my mother or my unknown father. And—” she frowned for a moment “—I’m glad. Really grateful. But, Joe, do you think Janet will like me?”

  He wanted to cry. The words were from a little girl standing and waiting for her mother to come back and take her into her arms to love her. Without thinking, he cupped Katie’s cheek. “I don’t know. I wish I did for your sake, Katie.” With his thumb, he traced the curve of her eyebrow, grazed her cheek and allowed his hand to drop to his side. “This has to be the scariest thing you’ve ever encountered.”

  “It is.” A delightful tingle remained on her cheek. She looked deep in his eyes. “No matter what happens at the meeting, Joe, I know I have you, Iris, Rudd and her family. They love me. I have to keep that at the forefront at all times, no matter what Janet says or does. I am loved.”

  Hearing the grit behind her words, Joe knew she believed every one of them. The words, I love you, too, nearly tore out of his mouth. It took everything Joe had to remain silent. Katie had included him among those who loved her. He understood how she meant it, but Joe found himself wishing mightily Katie would love him as a woman does a man.

  That could never happen. Not ever. He was living a lie.

  “Well, soon enough, you’re going to have the answers you’ve been waiting a lifetime for, Katie. I’ll be here, like Rudd and Iris, to support you no matter how it turns out.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  JANET BERGSTROM HAD CHOSEN a corner booth in Mo’s Ice Cream Parlor. She was dying for a cigarette, but this was a smoke-free area. Damn. Seated on the red leather bench, she tapped her foot beneath the shiny red table and looked at her wristwatch again. She constantly looked toward the door, waiting for a daughter she’d not seen since birth. She had newspaper articles of Katie holding a hawk on her glove; she would recognize her, for sure.

  Fearful, Janet touched her stiff, coiffed hair. She’d gone to a beauty parlor yesterday in Cheyenne. After driving over last night, she’d gotten an expensive room at the Wyoming Inn. Thanks to all the money Xavier had generously given to her, she could afford such digs. Normally, she would never stay at a three-hundred-dollar-a-night hotel.

  Where was her daughter? Wiping her perspiring brow with her fingers, Janet felt gnawing fear in her belly. Would her daughter hate her on sight? What was she expecting? Janet had tried her best to look presentable. She’d chosen a tasteful dark green pantsuit with a teal silk blouse beneath it.

  She tapped her fingers on the table in time with her shoe and watched with anxiety as the door opened and closed. Mo’s, on the main plaza in northern Jackson Hole, was a favorite place for locals and tourists. Now it was filling up with lunchtime patrons. Soft classical music played in the background and it irritated Janet. She preferred screamingly loud punk-rock music. That kind of music always made her soar when she was high.

  The coffee mug was nearly empty. Janet wanted something a helluva lot stronger, but Mo’s didn’t have a liquor license. Suddenly, Janet spied her daughter. A skinny young woman with black hair and blue eyes pushed open the door. Janet’s eyes widened and her breath caught in her chest. The girl was almost a spitting image of her at that same age! Shocked, Janet could only stare as her daughter hesitated just inside the restaurant. She was wearing a lavender T-shirt with a purple skirt that hung to just below her knees. Her black hair reminded Janet of a raven’s wing.

  Janet’s hands curled in anticipation and nervousness. As Katie’s gaze swung in her direction, Janet’s fear level shot up. Her daughter’s eyes widened enormously as the two women stared at each other.

  Janet felt frozen in time. Katie had blue eyes, the same color as her own. Instantly, her heart tumbled with anxiety and excitement. As she lifted her hand to gesture for Katie to come to the table, her heart burst open. For a moment, she thought she was going to cry! Shocked, she ruthlessly shoved the reaction deep down inside herself. No way could she cry. Katie seemed to float toward her. Janet critically searched her pale features. Yes, she could see some of herself in the girl. But other parts of her face were not her own. She sat still, hands on the table, waiting....

  “Hi,” Katie said, her voice off-key. “Are you Janet Bergstrom?” Standing uncertainly and clutching a small white leather purse, Katie stared down at the blonde woman. Her hair, piled on top of her head, was carefully coiffed, the dyed platinum color not right for her complexion. Unable to tear her gaze from Janet’s puffy forty-two-year-old face, Katie saw the makeup and heavily rouged cheeks. The false eyelashes made it look as if two black caterpillars were crawling across her eyes. Katie saw pockmarks, indicators of acne she’d had at a younger age.

  “I am. Have a seat, Katie,” Janet said, gesturing to the opposite side of the booth. No way was she going to stand up, hug and be motherlike. She fought the need to do just that.

  “Thanks,” Katie said, giving her a slight, nervous smile. She slid into the red leather booth. Unable to tear her gaze from the woman who had given her up, Katie felt tears leak into her eyes and mingle with her fear. Would Janet tell her to leave? Tell her she was not worth knowing? Hands damp, Katie quickly slid them beneath the table.

  A young waitress with brunette hair an
d dancing brown eyes came over. She handed them menus and asked Katie if she’d like something to drink.

  “Ice water,” Katie requested. “With lemon?”

  Janet sat stunned. She loved ice water with a slice of lemon in it! Gulping, she said nothing, craving a cigarette. When Katie looked across at her, she saw the girl’s anxiety clearly written in her features.

  “You don’t wear any makeup?” Janet demanded.

  Katie cringed, a little taken aback by Janet’s gruff demeanor. “Uh...no. I never have.”

  “You look like a ghost. You oughta do something to look more alive.” Damn. Janet scowled, angry at herself. She saw her words land visibly upon Katie. Waving her hand around, she added, “You look sick, is all.”

  Katie cleared her throat. “I’m not sick. Just...scared, is all...” There, the honesty of how she felt was out on the table.

  Janet sat back as if struck, but Katie had no way of knowing if her honesty was welcome or not. Janet didn’t seem to live by a code of honesty. Her mother’s unnatural blond dye job covered what Katie thought was probably darker hair. The woman’s lacquered red nails drummed incessantly on the table. She was overweight by at least thirty pounds, the pantsuit tight and pulling at the seams here and there. Her face was puffy and there were bags beneath her eyes. She’d obviously lived a hard life. Her heart breaking, Katie realized the picture she’d had of her mother was shockingly different from the reality.

  “Thank you for coming to meet me. I know you didn’t have to,” Katie finally managed.

  “I’m over here on business.”

  The waitress brought Katie’s lemon and water.

  “Order something,” Janet said, picking up the menu.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” the waitress said with a smile.

  Katie stared at the open menu, seeing nothing she wanted to eat. Her heart hurt. There was no love in Janet’s eyes for her. She had to remind herself this was probably nerve-racking for her, too. The words Why did you give me up? almost leaped out of her mouth. She compressed her lips to hold back the question. With Janet’s dictatorial manner, Katie was afraid to say much of anything. Clearly, her mother was the general in charge of this meeting.

  “I think I’m going to have the chicken salad,” Katie said, trying desperately to establish some kind of neutral tone.

  Janet looked over the menu at her, surprise in her voice. “So was I.”

  Katie smiled hesitantly. They might have been separated all these years but it appeared they had similar tastes. Her heart warmed with hope.

  “I suppose you like pickles on the side, too?” Janet demanded.

  Lifting her chin, Katie closed the menu and set it aside. “Yes, butter pickles. What about you?”

  “Same.”

  Her mother’s hands trembled as she dropped the menu on the table. She was constantly tapping her long, red nails on the table. In fact, she couldn’t seem to sit still for more than a few moments. Anxiously searching for another neutral topic, Katie said, “You said you’re here on business?”

  “Yeah. I own Mercury Courier Service. I built it up from scratch over in Cheyenne years ago.” Waving her hand, Janet added, “I’m over here for a couple of days to lease some space in a building. I’m putting up a second store.” And then she added with a triumphant smile, “I’m a businesswoman.”

  How she wanted Katie to admire and respect her, despite her checkered background. She saw the girl’s brows move upward and pride shine in her eyes. Something good flowed through Janet. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and yet, it made her feel happy. Her, happy? That was a joke! Janet always felt edgy, nervous and needy. Never happy. Yet, what she felt in her heart now was happiness. Fleetingly, Janet pondered how long it had been since she’d felt this emotion. Reaching up, Janet briefly touched the heavy gold necklace Xavier had given her a long time ago.

  “You have a courier service? Like FedEx or UPS?” Katie saw the triumph in her mother’s heavily lined eyes.

  “Well, I’m not as big as the big boys,” she said, feeling Katie’s respect, “but I started off Mercury with the reasoning that even a little guy like me could provide a service. And now, I’ve gotten big enough to start spreading out. I’m going to lease a building here, get it fixed up, hire some good people and start doing courier service between the two cities.”

  “Why did you name it Mercury?” Katie noticed the waitress coming their way. She was thrilled to see her mother animated and engaged with her. Some of her anxiety lessened. Maybe Janet wasn’t going to tell her to get out of her life, after all.

  “Mercury, or Hermes, is the Greek god of transportation and flight,” Janet told her smugly. “I can tell you don’t know much about Greek myths.”

  “I don’t,” Katie admitted.

  “May I take your order, ladies?” the waitress asked.

  “Yeah, we both want the chicken salad with butter pickles on the side.”

  “Great. Thank you!” The waitress smiled, picked up the menus and left.

  “It must have been tough creating a business out of nothing,” Katie said. She rested her clammy hands on the table. Folding them together, she reasoned it was better to let her mother talk about something she felt was important.

  “Oh, it was, it was.” Janet saw the interest in her daughter’s face. She was such a pale thing. Didn’t the girl ever get any sunlight? Surely, flying raptors outdoors would give her a tan?

  “What led you to want to create Mercury Courier?”

  Shrugging, Janet looked around. She never stopped assessing people coming and going. In the drug-trafficking and gunrunning trade, one had to be alert. “I like movement. I can’t sit still too long. I got to thinking that in Cheyenne there had to be a demand for local, city-wide courier service. I figured it all out and got some money and built my dream.” She left out the fact that Xavier had suggested the company because it would be a good cover for his drugs and guns to move through the state.

  “I don’t like staying still too long, either,” Katie ventured shyly. “I like to move around—like you.”

  Frowning, Janet said nothing. “I have an appointment with Bobby Fortner of Raven Reality in...” and she glanced at her watch “...about fifty minutes. I called him a week ago and told him my needs. He said there are three buildings that might fit my company’s needs.”

  “I see...”

  “Well, you have to have so much square space. I have to have a counter and desk area out front to take customers’ packages. And then I have to have a much larger area in the rear where all the packages and envelopes are kept to go out the next day.”

  “It sounds like there are a lot of details to your business.” Katie stopped the word Mother from flying out of her mouth. Clearly, Janet wasn’t the warm, fuzzy type. Instead, she was all business, abrupt, wanting to talk only about herself and her needs. Katie swallowed hard and tried not to allow the disappointment to ruin her day. After all, she reminded herself, Janet hadn’t sent her packing. They were having the first conversation of their lives and Katie clung to every word. Still, she tried to quell her expectations.

  “Oh, there are, there are,” Janet said. “I’ve got two guys who run the counter over in Cheyenne. I do all the accounting, book work, scheduling and keep the IRS happy.” She managed a grimace over the acronym IRS. Twice she’d been hauled in because of her tax forms. Janet was sure it was harassment. They knew she’d been a convict and they were paying extra-special attention to her because of her status. There was nothing she could do about it. No one listened to an ex-con griping to the feds about anything.

  The waitress brought their food. She refilled Janet’s coffee cup and added cold water to Katie’s glass.

  Janet dug into the platter, starving to death. She noticed her daughter barely picking at the food. “What’s the matter with you? A
ren’t you hungry?”

  Fear frissoned through Katie. She looked up and smiled. “I’m not really too hungry.” Then, she risked it all and asked in a small voice, “How do you want me to address you?”

  Janet held her fork frozen in midair. She couldn’t mistake the tremor of emotion in Katie’s tone. “Why...er...just call me Janet. That will do.” She felt guilty over the disappointment in the girl’s eyes. “Look,” Janet added harshly, “we really don’t know one another.”

  Katie nodded. “You’re right, we don’t.”

  “You think this is any fun for me?” Janet demanded, waving her fork in Katie’s direction. She remembered Xavier wanted the girl as part of the cover for the operation she was setting up here. As much as she wanted to get up and walk out and never see her again, Janet was under orders to do the opposite. She hated the hurt look on her daughter’s too-readable face. “I’m looking to hire a person. Are you interested?”

  Swallowing hard, Katie set the fork down beside her plate. She wrestled with so many emotions, and tried to think clearly through the haze. Finally, she met her mother’s angry gaze and said in a quiet voice, “This is hard on both of us.” Something inside of her clicked. She was trying to like her mother, despite the shock of her appearance. Janet might be a businesswoman, but she seemed so anxious. “I would like to help you, if you want. Maybe part-time?” She held up her hands. “I’m a great typist, I know the computer and maybe I could be helpful.” Katie wanted to please her mother, was desperate to erase the anger in her eyes.

  “Oh...well...let me think about it.” Janet dug into the food, starved. Between bites she said, “I’ve already hired one guy, Eduardo. You’re too thin and weak-looking to move those heavy boxes that come through my business. I need some muscle.”

  “I may look thin to you, but I’m pretty strong,” Katie said, checking her anger. She didn’t care for her mother’s opinion of her. “I’m tall, Janet. And certainly not a ninety-pound weakling.”