Just a Little Flirt

by Renita Pizzitola

  He reached for my hand. “We have beer too.”

  Cade and Scout walked back up then.

  I pulled my hand free.

  Whatever-his-name-was stiffened, yet still sort of drunk wobbled. He glanced at Cade then back at me. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” He gestured accusingly at Cade.

  What the fuck? “Avoiding you? It was one night,” I blurted then snapped my mouth shut, slowly cringing. My temper had gotten the better of me. Dammit.

  Cade’s gaze burned into me and my stomach twisted.

  Random guy stared at me then shook his head. “I guess the guys were right about you.” He stormed back to his friends.

  Embarrassment clawed its way up my chest, heating my neck and warming my cheeks. I couldn’t even begin to look at Cade.

  I spun away, headed for the apartments.

  “Fallon,” he called.

  But I kept going, until I was forced to stop for a passing car.

  He jogged over to me with Scout now back on his leash. “Where are you going?”

  “Home.” The car had passed so I hurried across the street.

  Cade kept pace with me. “Why?”

  We’d crossed the street and I stared at him. He knew why.

  I started walking again and as we reached the parking lot he grabbed my hand. “I don’t care what some drunk guy said.”

  “And what I said?” I crossed my arms in challenge.

  “So you hooked up with a guy.” He shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”

  I glanced down. Scout had settled right by my feet and stared up at me.

  “It’s not just one guy,” I mumbled and dropped my hands to my sides in defeat. “What are we even doing, Cade?”

  Scout licked my palm and nudged my hand.

  “Getting to know each other. Talking. Hopefully becoming friends.”

  “I can never be anything more than your friend.” I started walking again and Cade fell in step beside me. Scout followed at our heels.

  “Okay. But can I ask why?”

  We’d reached the door to his first-floor apartment. My car was just a few steps away.

  I paused. “There are a lot of reasons. Mainly the internship.”

  He unlocked his door. “And after the internship?”

  Scout trotted inside.

  “The other reasons.” I sighed.

  “Scout needs water.”

  “I’ve got to get going anyway.”

  He grabbed my hand. “Not yet. Please. Hang out for a minute while I get him some fresh water. Plus I need help wrapping the gifts.”

  I knew it was an excuse, but I still let him lead me inside.

  He grabbed Scout’s water bowl, rinsed and refilled it. Then handed me the Target bag.

  I pulled out the clothes, folded them neatly then placed them in the bottom of two separate gift bags.

  “Will you tell me your other reasons?” he asked as he grabbed two bottled waters and set one in front of me.

  I tucked tissue paper into each bag. “Cade, tell me what you look for in a girl. And be honest.”

  “Okay.” He plopped onto the couch. “Funny. Smart. She doesn’t have to be a genius, but none of that fake ‘I’m stupid’ crap. Um, attractive, which leads into confident. Easy to talk to. Fun to hang out with.” A faint smile ghosted across his lips. “And if I’m being really picky, I’d say someone, maybe”—he eyed me up—“around five-three. Blond. Hazel eyes. A banging body. And super sexy name.”

  I pressed my lips together to avoid laughing.

  I sat on the other side of the couch and tucked my leg under me. “Well, since your list didn’t include ‘commitment-phobic party-girl,’ it surely couldn’t be me you’re talking about.”

  “Can I modify my list?”

  I laughed and shook my head. But then sighed. He didn’t get it. Right now it was fun to joke and pretend like it wouldn’t be a problem, but what happened when we ran into more guys like tonight? They were scattered throughout and it was bound to happen again. Granted I didn’t sleep with all of them, but there was definitely some messing around going on.

  Scout wandered over, hopped up onto the couch and rested his head in my lap.

  Cade stared at him then looked up at me. “I can tell him to get down if you want.”

  I ran my fingers over Scout’s head. “It doesn’t bother me.”

  Cade leaned back, slightly angled toward me, and draped one arm over the back of the couch. “So tell me, if I was looking for a commitment-phobic party-girl, where should I look? Like…maybe someone who got out of a three-year relationship prior to going away to college? I can’t be sure, but I’d imagine something like that would make a girl want to run from the word ‘boyfriend,’ and enjoy everything she’d missed in high school.” He tapped his fingers and pretended to be lost in thought. “Hmm, who might fit that bill?”

  I gaped at him. Was he actually being…understanding?

  He stared into my eyes. “Come on, Fallon, you’re only nineteen. You’re allowed to just enjoy life. I’m not going to judge you.”

  “As a friend maybe, but you can’t honestly say those things wouldn’t bother you in a relationship.”

  “Yeah, I can. I mean, as long as it’s in the past. If the girl I’m dating is cheating on me, then, no, I won’t be cool with that. But I don’t think that’s who you are.”

  I didn’t cheat but I didn’t do exclusive either. “I like partying.”

  He nodded, but seemed to be waiting for more.

  Scout nestled himself further over my lap, encouraging me to rub his belly.

  Though I doubted the choices I made wouldn’t inevitably interfere with a relationship, Cade was right about one thing. “I did miss out on a lot of fun in high school. And I missed out on dating people. I like making new friends, meeting guys, drinking, socializing…” Of course it wasn’t all perfect. “I don’t always like the rest of it,” I admitted. I stared down at Scout as I spoke, unable to look at Cade. “I purposely pick asshole guys to flirt with. The ones I know will never call again. The ones who will forget me just as quickly as I can forget them.”

  “Any particular reason why?”

  “Because love’s a scam.” A reason to get in your pants.

  “Are you sure you were ever really even in love?”

  I shrugged. “Probably not. I just wish I’d realized that before I let him convince me to have sex with him.”

  Oh God. Why had I said all that? I sounded somewhere between bitchy and pathetic. Dammit. Somehow I’d gotten too comfortable in this conversation and spilled more to him than I had to anyone. Ever.

  I shifted my leg, causing Scout to hop down off the couch. “It’s getting late. I should go.”

  Cade didn’t argue or try to convince me to stay as he walked me to the door. “Thanks for hanging out with me today.”

  I’d totally freaked him out. I was such an idiot. “No problem.”

  “I’ll pick you up tomorrow around two.”

  “I’ll be ready.” I placed my hand on the knob to open the door as Cade’s hand slipped over mine.

  “Fallon.”

  His dark eyes were super intense, but it was probably just the lighting. At least, that’s what I told myself to avoid slamming him against the wall and pressing my mouth to his.

  “I agree that sex doesn’t have to be about love, but for your sake, I hope maybe one day it is.”

  He cupped my cheek and my breath stuttered in my chest. As much as I shouldn’t, I’d let him kiss me then.

  “Don’t let one asshole ruin your future,” he whispered.

  I nodded, mostly because there was no point in arguing.

  His gaze drifted down, eyes locked on my mouth. He leaned forward, and then planted a kiss atop my head. So not what I’d wanted. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled as I slipped out the door.

  He watched me walk to my car, and once I was inside, shut his door.

  I turned on my ca
r and sat there for a minute. What the hell had just happened? I spilled way too much information. Should have scared the guy off. Maybe even did. Yet somehow I only wanted him more now? My body and brain needed to hold a conference call and get this shit on the same page. I couldn’t keep playing tug-of-war with myself. I was going to lose my mind.

  When I got back to my apartment, I ran into Mason on his way upstairs.

  “Hey,” he said. “Surprised to see you here. Figured you’d be going out tonight.”

  I shrugged. “I have plans tomorrow. Wanted to call it an early night.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You feeling okay?” There was no genuine concern, only sarcasm.

  The dead bolt clicked and I pushed my door open, jiggled out the key and ignored Mason. “What about you?” I asked. “Don’t you have anything better to do than hang around here?”

  His face twisted, and a tiny bit of guilt flashed through me. We had this shitty banter thing we did, but I wasn’t out to really hurt the guy’s feelings. Of course, when it came to Brinley, they resided a bit too close to the surface.

  I flipped my hair and smirked. “Or have you finally realized you’re madly in love with me and can’t stay away?” He laughed as I tossed my stuff on the kitchen table and flipped through the mail Brinley had left sitting there. “Don’t deny you want all this.”

  “As I recall, you’re the one who wants this.” He cocked a grin and pointed at himself.

  I rolled my eyes. Though it’d been true—before getting to know him I had seriously wanted to hook up with him. He was hot. No denying it. But now he was just…Mason. He’d lost the mysterious-guy appeal.

  Brinley walked into the kitchen. “Are you two having the ‘who’s hotter’ argument again? I really think you need to just call it a draw.” She opened the fridge and pulled out a soda then turned to Mason. “So what’s up? You sounded like you had something you wanted to talk about earlier.”

  I glanced between them, unsure if this was one of those best-friend conversations I shouldn’t be a part of. But Mason slouched back in a chair and shrugged. It didn’t seem like a private matter.

  “My uncle who lives on the coast just had surgery on his shoulder. He has to take it easy for the summer, so my cousin asked me to help work the family business during peak season.”

  “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

  “Charter boat. Deep-sea fishing.”

  “Cool. So, how long would you be gone?”

  “July through mid-August.” He peeked over at Brinley, clearly gauging her reaction to his not being around.

  “Man, six weeks.” She frowned a little. “At the beach. I’m jealous.”

  It was such a tiny shift in his body, it was easy to miss, but his shoulder sagged. “I’ll be working though. Long days. Hot sun. Probably get seasick or something.”

  “But you get to cool off in the ocean.” She squeezed his shoulder as she passed by. “And you’ll probably get all tan and buff and meet tons of girls.”

  His smile looked forced. “I’m already tan and buff.”

  “And you’ll always smell like fish,” I added. “You’ll have to fight the ladies off.”

  He mock glared. “You’re just jealous I’ll be working at the beach while you’re working at the hospital. Which reminds me, which day are you free to pick up my tab? It’s inevitable I’ll win, so we might as well just get it out of the way.”

  I pulled out my phone and pretended to scroll through texts, unable to make eye contact, scared it’d reveal too much. “Yeah,” I scoffed. “We’ll see about that.”

  “Wait.” He leaned forward in his chair and studied me. “Have you already lost?”

  “What? No.” I shoved my phone in my back pocket. “I haven’t slept with anyone at work.”

  Mason narrowed his eyes and I forced myself not to squirm under his scrutiny.

  “Who is it? Another intern? A doctor?”

  “Therapy dog guy?” Brinley jumped in, practically bouncing with excitement.

  “Oh my God. Whatever. It’s no one.”

  “Is that who you were with when you texted earlier?” she asked, a huge smile plastered to her face. “What’s his name…Cade?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Even if I was, it doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with him.”

  “But you want to.” Mason grinned. “I can see it all over you. You want this guy so bad it’s killing you not to jump in bed with him.”

  Brinley smiled. “As a wise friend once told me, you want him to bend you over a table. You won’t be walking right for days,” she teased, repeating the exact things I’d said about her and Ryder. It had mortified her, and now she looked all too pleased putting me in the hot seat.

  Mason narrowed his eyes and looked me over. “She did have a bit of a limp when—”

  “Please.” I glared at him. “There are plenty of guys out there to screw. In fact, maybe I will take Mel up on her offer to go out tonight. I’ll have one great big weekend fuckfest and get you two off my back. A different guy every night, hell, maybe more.” I yanked my phone out of my pocket and marched out of the room, not really sure why the Cade discussion had struck such a nerve. But it had. Big-time.

  I glanced down at my phone and froze. Oh. My. God.

  Cade.

  And the seconds were ticking by in what felt like slow motion. One minute fifteen seconds. Sixteen seconds. Seventeen seconds. My pulse pounded its way through my body. Hammering the inside of my head. I stabbed “end” three times as heat rushed into my face.

  Had I called him? Had he called me? Maybe he hadn’t heard anything. Maybe he’d heard it all. Or worse yet, voicemail. He could listen to the whole damn conversation on repeat.

  I wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. But instead, I spun around and stomped back into the kitchen. The cabinet door banged the wall as I threw it open and yanked out the vodka bottle.

  Mason and Brinley stared at me.

  “Mel’s busy,” I lied. “I’m getting shit-faced. Who’s in?”

  “Point me toward the shot glasses.” Mason hopped up and opened the cabinet nearest him.

  “Sorry, Ryder and I are going to check out his friend’s band tonight.”

  I filled the shot glasses Mason had set on the counter.

  “He’s on his way, but you two have fun.” She went to grab her phone as I lifted my first shot.

  “So why the sudden change of plans? No bullshit. What happened?” Mason asked.

  I poured a second shot for each of us. “I butt-dialed therapy dog guy.” I tossed back the second shot and cringed. But not from the vodka.

  “Oh, shit. You think he heard?”

  I nodded. “Probably.”

  Brinley breezed past. “Ryder’s here. See you later. And, Mason, no driving home. Crash on the couch.”

  “Yes, Mom.”

  She smiled as she closed the door behind her. Mason’s gaze stayed glued to her until the door shut.

  “You’ve got to let that go,” I said.

  Mason spun to me. “What?”

  “Brinley. She and Ryder are a done deal.”

  “I don’t like her that way. I’m glad she’s happy.”

  I shrugged. “If you say so.” I nudged another shot toward him. “But maybe if you could admit to yourself how you feel, you could move on.”

  “She’s my best friend. That’s it. Anyway, what about you? You say you don’t like this guy, yet you get all pissy when we talk about hooking up with him. Maybe you have some feelings to admit.”

  I glared. “Maybe you should quit hiding behind the best-friend bullshit.”

  “Maybe you should quit using meaningless sex as a coping mechanism.”

  “Coping? You don’t know shit. I’m not coping. Hell, if anything it’s the very opposite.”

  We stared each other down until his gaze finally sank to the floor. “I honestly don’t like Brinley the way you think. I love her, sure. But not as a girlfriend. She’s my best friend and I miss her like crazy. I want to b
e the only guy in her life, but it’s unrealistic. Honestly, it’s half the reason I decided to go away for the summer. I need space from her. I need to figure shit out.” He looked back up. “I’m not hiding behind the best-friend bullshit; I’m lost behind it.”

  He’d torn down his walls, and it only seemed fair I did too. “I’m scared to care about the guys I have sex with because if I give in to that, they can hurt me. I don’t want to get hurt. I’m not coping with pain. I’m avoiding it.”

  Mason sighed. “We’re pretty fucked up. Aren’t we?”

  “Too bad we can barely stand each other. We probably would have made a good match.”

  “I know. Emotionally unavailable. Enjoy meaningless sex.” He laughed, but his heart wasn’t in it. Neither was mine. This conversation had brought me way down. Depressing, sleeping-in-the-gutters kind of low point in life.

  He filled us two more shots and raised his. “Here’s to letting go.”

  We tapped glasses and gulped them down. It would have to be my last one. Four vodka shots was enough to get me blissfully numb. And hopefully able to forget my own stupidity.

  I groaned. “If Cade heard that conversation earlier, he’s going to fucking hate me.”

  “So you really like him?”

  “I’m not losing this bet.”

  He waved his hand. “If you like this guy, fuck what I said. It was a joke. In case you haven’t noticed, I like to give you shit. But don’t let anything I say keep you from someone you like.”

  Mason really was a good guy, even if a tad annoying at times. “Whatever, a bet’s a bet.”

  With a wary expression, he studied me.

  I stared out the patio door, knowing Cade was just a building away. Little did Mason know, it wasn’t just the bet. It was the job. The future. My inability to have anything real with Cade. Everything. If anything, this little bet helped. It gave me a reason to say no. “Plus, if I sleep with him, it will get in the way of work. I’m there to do a good job. I can’t have guy drama interfering.”

  “What makes you think there will be drama?”

  “Because knowing me I’ll fuck it up somehow.”

  He studied me then sighed. “Let’s go watch a shitty reality show that will make us feel better about our own lives.”