The Donors

by Jeffrey Wilson

  The poop smell when they come and go? Remember? Remember smelling it when they took your mom?

  Jason pushed the thought as far away as he could. Nathan arrived at the ledge, his head low, and peered down. Jason slid in beside him.

  “She’s gone,” Nathan whispered.

  Jason looked down into the cavern. The horrible sight of Steve’s dead and mutilated body didn’t bother him much—he had seen lots of horrible shit in the ER. What choked him up was the realization that Nathan had watched it happen. Then Jason saw another body slumped over in the corner of the room, a black puddle of old blood like a halo around the head.

  “Who’s that?” Jason asked with some fear. He felt like he should know.

  “Don’t know,” Nathan answered. Jason realized the five-year-old’s voice sounded steadier than his own. “He came yesterday.”

  Yesterday.

  Jason suddenly knew exactly who the body in the corner belonged to, but he needed to be sure. He also wanted to see where Jenny had been and make sure that he didn’t see any blood or other evidence that she had been hurt, at least physically. He could see an area of disturbed dirt.

  “Is that where Jenny was?” he asked and pointed.

  “Yeah,” Nathan whispered.

  Jason thought a moment. He sure as hell didn’t want to be down there when the creatures came back, but he couldn’t leave without being sure about the cop and Jenny. He would slip down real quick, check it out, and come right back.

  “Stay here,” he whispered to Nathan, “I’ll be right back.”

  “No.” Nathan’s voice trembled and Jason felt his tiny hand on his arm. “Don’t leave me. I want to go with you.” The voice was full of tears. Jason suspected that Nathan hovered near his breaking point.

  Jason stood, but stayed hunched over and squeezed Nathan’s hand in his.

  “Stay right with me and hold my hand,” he said, as if they were going to cross a street to get ice cream.

  Together they descended the steep path into the larger cave. Nathan’s hand tightened in his as they approached Steve’s corpse and Jason held his arm back behind him, to put himself between Nathan and the body.

  “Don’t look, buddy,” he said paternally as he turned to see how Nathan was doing. Nathan shrugged. His eyes looked old.

  “Already seen it,” he said simply.

  Steve’s body looked like the scene of a botched, amateur autopsy. The belly had been torn apart more than cut, and now lay gaping open and eerily empty. He wondered how the body looked back home on the other side. For a moment that thought, which came to him so naturally, confused him—then he remembered what it meant. Jason didn’t really understand the difference or the connection between the cave and the world they had come from, but he knew that all of them, including what remained of Steve, somehow existed in both places. He felt a tug on his hand that brought him back and looked down. Nathan looked back at him anxiously.

  “We should hurry in case the Lizard Men come back,” he said.

  Jason tried to flash a reassuring smile, but felt a little more like he made the face of an infant with gas. They left Steve’s body behind and headed toward the slumped body that lay face first in a pool of its own black blood and gray matter. The back of the police officer’s head was nearly gone and Jason knew that if he rolled him over (which he had no friggin’ intention of doing) there would be another hole where the right eye should have been. He looked fatter all bent over and naked, but he had never thought of Maloney as trim and fit. Jason looked at his ‘friend,’ who he’d sometimes kidded about eating donuts, and swallowed hard.

  “Come on,” he whispered to Nathan, who pulled back at his arm and stood on tippy-toes, trying to keep his feet out of the puddle of brains and blood. “Show me where Jenny was.”

  Nathan took the lead and pulled Jason behind him. He walked a yard or two to the left of Maloney’s corpse, then stopped and pointed down into the dirt without saying a word. Jason looked at the small area of disturbed wet ground. His imagination helped him create an outline of where Jenny had lay and thrashed about, but really it just looked like an oblong depression. There was a small area of wetter looking dirt, and Jason wondered if it was where her sweat had pooled or if his girlfriend had pissed herself. He felt tears trickle down his cheeks as he imagined her there, naked and scared, writhing in confusion. What did she see in her head? Was it her trips here that she saw as nightmares? Jason closed his eyes. Nathan squeezed his hand tighter.

  “She’s okay, I think,” he said—a parent reassuring a scared child. “I think we gotta go, Jason.”

  Jason looked at his friend and smiled sadly. He decided that Nathan was the bravest child he had ever heard of.

  And if you were that brave, we might not even be here now. If you had stopped them, Mom would still be alive.

  Jason pressed the heel of one hand to the bridge of his nose, physically stifling the obnoxious asshole of a voice. Then looked back at the dirt where Jenny had been. What did she have to do with this? The only connection seemed to be that all three of them had been abused as kids (though for Nathan, childhood had ended only days ago) and even that seemed wrong somehow. Why? It was the pictures right? The ones in the apartment? The thought seemed so important that he couldn’t put it off, but he couldn’t quite put it together either. And where the hell did she go? Why not come here from her own bed in her apartment, where shifting back and forth would be as easy as dreaming? The answers felt really important but eluded him.

  “Jason, please.” Nathan’s voice tugged at him with the same scared insistence as the grasping hand on his arm. “Please, we gotta go.”

  Jason snapped back. “Alright, big guy,” he said. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” He led Nathan back up the sloping path to the ledge. As they approached the top, Jason felt a weird push, like a slight pressure change; his heart pounded in his chest. Without looking back, he scrambled the last few yards to the ledge and heaved Nathan roughly over the low rise and both of them collapsed in a painful heap in the dirt. Just as the dust cloud settled around them the horrible smell, like someone pulled a hot bag full of shit over his head, engulfed him and he struggled not to vomit.

  “They’re coming,” Nathan sounded terrified. He whimpered slightly. Jason put an arm around him and held him against his chest, their faces only a few inches apart.

  “Shhh,” he whispered. “It’s okay, buddy. I’m here and I won’t let anything hurt you.”

  Nathan’s blue eyes held his in desperation, full of a need to believe him. Jason watched as the boy shoved a dirty fist into his own mouth and then nodded.

  Jason doubted there was a goddamn thing he could do to keep his young friend safe, but he also knew that he would die trying if he had to. He kept his arm around the boy, then slowly lifted his head just enough to see above the ledge and down into the cavern.

  The creatures sauntered around Steve’s corpse; Jason felt terror grab him by the throat at the sight of them. They looked exactly as he remembered and the memory explosion nearly made him gasp aloud. The cascade of images, of his dad, of the hospital, of his frequent trips here, running and crying as he tried to hide from those creatures, battered him and nearly paralyzed him with fear. He resisted, with great effort, the need to jump up and run crying back down the path behind him, the Lizard Men snapping at his legs.

  “Ow,” a voice hissed from beside his head. He realized his grip on Nathan’s arm had become ridiculously tight and he relaxed it, looking wide-eyed at the boy beside him. “They can only smell us if we’re scaredy cats, I think,” Nathan whispered in his ear. “You gotta not be too scared or they’ll find us.”

  Jason nodded and risked another peek down below. The creatures stood very still in the middle of the cavern, right beside where Jenny’s body had been. He saw that their heads were tilted back, mouths open to show long, yellowish teeth, their snouts up in the air.

  They’re smelling for you, you big scaredy cat. If they find you you’ll l
ook just like Steve. Control yourself or you and your boy will both be in big-shit trouble.

  Jason slid his head back down beside Nathan’s and closed his eyes. He took several long, deep breaths and felt his pulse slow a little in his temples. After a moment his breathing no longer sounded so ridiculously loud in his head. He opened his eyes and looked to see Nathan staring at him expectantly.

  He’s waiting for you to take care of him. How funny is that?

  “Hold my hand and stay with me,” he said. “We’re gonna head back to the little hole and hide there until we can get out of here, okay?”

  Nathan nodded. “I think I can hear the voices a little louder. I think we can leave real soon.”

  Jason listened for a moment but heard nothing. Then he realized that he lay alone in a quiet call room. There was no way he would hear the OR voices that Nathan heard. He took Nathan’s hand and slid almost silently a few yards back down the path, then got up to his feet in a low crouch and started moving faster and faster back toward the dark bunny hole where he had found Nathan. Nothing about the little hole seemed scary, now.

  Nothing scary about the dark once you’ve seen what’s in it.

  He stole a quick glance behind them as the dropped to all fours. No creatures came up over the ledge and he prodded Nathan gently to scurry into the hole ahead of him. Then he ducked his own head and scrambled like an animal behind his cub.

  They stopped just past the little bend where he had first found Nathan, out of sight of the entrance to their tight burrow, and they collapsed together back against the wall. Jason realized that their breathing sounded wicked loud in the little cave, but tried not to think about it. Not like they could hold their breath for ten or fifteen minutes, right?

  “Do you hear that voice? It’s telling me I can wake up,” Nathan said from his shoulder.

  It took a moment to force that to make sense and then Jason realized what it meant. Nathan must be in the recovery room, or else waking up in the Operating Room. The voice he heard would be the anesthesiologist waking him up. They would only need another couple of minutes.

  “Do you feel the breathing machine blowing air into you?” he asked. He realized that those were kid words from his past, not the grown-up Doctor Jason talking.

  “I don’t think so,” Nathan answered.

  So the breathing tube had been removed already. They were really, really close.

  “Okay,” Jason said. “Just try to go to the sounds and voices in your mind.”

  Nathan gave little kid head shake that meant No Duh. “I know how to do it,” he said and Jason smiled as he felt, more than saw, Nathan close his eyes beside him. Then grunting close and loud made his heart explode out of his chest.

  Jason suspected that the creatures were right at the entrance to their burrow. He could almost smell their hot breath and felt Nathan grip him tightly.

  “Hurry, Nathan,” he hissed. “They’re coming.”

  Nathan’s voice stayed remarkably calm. “I’m trying,” he said.

  The grunts echoed off the walls and he knew that the creatures were trying to burrow their way into the tight passageway. They had found them. Almost unconsciously he pulled his own legs closer and scooted the two of them another foot or two into the hide.

  “It’s working,” Nathan said excitedly. “It’s all getting louder.”

  Jason understood that Nathan meant the sounds from the other side, not the grunting that seemed to build to a roar and ripped through his head. The boy felt lighter in his arms and light sparkles seemed to fill the air around him in the dark. It worked. Nathan started to leave.

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” he said as Nathan faded away in his arms. “I’ll come to your bed in recovery as soon as I get back.” But Nathan was gone and he found himself hugging only dark, empty air.

  Jason pushed farther into the little cave, which quickly got even smaller and tighter. He realized he could go no farther unless he could tear his own arms off at the shoulders. Eyes closed tightly, he concentrated with all his might on—what? There were no sounds in the quiet call room that he could focus his mind on.

  Oh fuck! I’m trapped here. I’m not going to be able to get back.

  Jason felt movement behind him and realized that one of the creatures had somehow pushed into the small space. They were coming for him and he had nowhere to go. He let out a scream as he felt a cold, hard claw tickle across his right foot.

  “No! No!’ he hollered and pulled his foot the few inches he had left, his body now contorted and twisted, wedged into the tiny space. He felt the flesh tear from his shoulder where it pushed against the rock and blood ran from the wound down over his bare and sweaty chest. Pain shot through him as the cave wall ground dirt into the fresh cut and his fingers clawed at the ground, trying to pull himself just another few inches away from the Lizard Man. He could hear the creature stretching out its claw for him, thudding into the dirt floor only an inch or two behind his foot. Puffs of dirt sprinkled his legs each time the claw fell just short. Jason pushed hard against the unyielding wall, felt his foot push off a cold claw behind him. He could barely fill his lungs with air in the tight space, but screamed again.

  Then he felt something cool. It was on his left cheek and he concentrated on it with all his might. The soft edge of the cheap foam pillow in the Call Room bunk gelled in his mind. Jason tried to go to the feel of it, to make it real in his mind, and he heard the thump of the reaching claw behind him begin to fade. The air became cooler, almost cold with the air-conditioning vent blowing across his sweat-covered body. The crushing tightness of the cave walls around him relaxed and then faded away completely. Suddenly, his body exploded out in all directions as he stretched out of his contorted position and filled the small bunk. Opening his eyes, he gasped deeply of the cool air for a moment and then sat up with some difficulty.

  His left shoulder shot a lightning bolt at him as he shifted his weight to swing his legs out of the bed. He saw a large, dark stain grow rapidly on his shirt from his shoulder and spread downward over his chest. He pulled the neck of his T-shirt aside and saw a deep ragged gash in his shoulder, which bled freely. He awkwardly pulled his shirt over his head one-handed, balled it up, and held tight pressure against the wound. Jason lay back against the wall on the bunk, held his T-shirt tightly against his torn shoulder, and closed his eyes for a moment. He had a lot of shit he needed to sort out.

  * * *

  When Jenny awoke alone in bed her first thoughts were about Jason. It seemed weird that he would leave without waking her, especially since he had seemed so protective last night. She remembered the feel of his arms around her and smiled at the memory of how he had shifted his hips away. She had come very close to rolling over and attacking him, putting his arousal to good work, but in the end her need for comfort had overwhelmed the other aching need. She had finally let herself drift to sleep in his arms.

  Then memories of her dream returned to her and her appetite for sex evaporated.

  In the dream she drove to the hospital, the sun just peeking up over the horizon. She remembered the walk in and taking the elevators down to the basement, way past the morgue and down a long hallway to a kind of exam room, only much larger. After that the images became very jumbled and disorganized.

  Dreams are just like that.

  She thought she remembered dreaming of the cave again, where demons taunted her and around her hung the smell of death. Like before, she remembered Nathan peering down at her, but it felt more like he had looked after her instead of just watched her. The memories of the cave sporadically jumbled amongst memories of the exam room, which as she thought about it seemed more like an operating room. She remembered assisting surgeons and they had taken organs from a dead guy for transplant surgery. Her mind also held torn fragments of memory of her family. She decided to let the whole damn dream just float away like smoke.

  Dreams are dreams—can’t control them, so why dwell on them? Just stress sneaking into my sle
ep.

  They’re not dreams.

  The second voice sent a chill up her back that made her shake and she pulled the warm blanket around her. Jenny closed her eyes and tried to think only about Jason and what she could do with him when he got back. The dream faded farther away, but left with one last scream.

  The man’s scream. The man on the table and in the cave.

  Jenny’s eyes popped open wide. The man had screamed—the man in the operating room. They had done an organ harvest, she felt sure of that. So why would the man be screaming? First, he should be brain dead to take his organs and second, he had been intubated and on a ventilator. A sudden, vivid picture of the man’s eyes looking up at her, tears running down his cheeks, filled her mind and she felt sick to her stomach. The eyes looked very much alive and awake. But he still couldn’t scream, right?

  The screams came from the cave. There you can scream, or writhe in the dirt and piss yourself.

  It’s just a nightmare.

  So why did it give her such a chill? Why did her stomach tighten and bile fill her throat? Jenny’s eyes welled up and she closed them, letting the tears run down her cheek onto her pillow and tickle across her nose. The screams, the impossible screams from the dead organ donor, echoed in her head.

  Dreams are just like that.

  No—you know better than that, girl. You know what you did.

  Jenny squeezed her eyes tighter and pushed the dream the rest of the way out of her head with a final shove. Please come home, Jason.

  Jenny let her mind carry her to a new dream; she fell back into a fitful sleep.

  Chapter

  14

  The scrub top Jason found in the call room floor locker smelled musty, but not B.O. smelly, so he pulled it on with some difficulty. Funny, after where he had just come from, that he could possibly give a shit about wearing someone else’s shirt. The bleeding had pretty much stopped, but he knew it would start up again and he would probably need a couple of stitches. For now he decided to just make a quick stop in a supply closet and tape a couple of gauze 4x4’s over the wound so that it wouldn’t bleed through his stale scrub top. He wanted very much to get to Nathan, though he knew that the boy was fine for now.