Brass Monkeys

by Terry Caszatt

  She grinned. “Looks like you guys have already been into things.”

  “Just a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” I said. “You know, to sort of hold us until you got here.”

  Christmas was still four days away, and I knew Mom had originally planned on having our big dinner on Christmas Eve, but I started talking like a madman trying to convince her to bump everything up. I hinted strongly that Ray might not be able to have a Christmas of any kind, and I told her I’d also been bragging up her cooking to him.

  I’m sure Mom knew something was afoot, but she never let on.

  Being the champ she is, she just grinned and said Ray would get a great meal tonight no matter if it was a Christmas dinner or not.

  But then a few minutes later, when she and I were alone, she got a little glint of mischief in her eyes and said, “Look, if you want your Christmas dinner tonight, just tell me how much you like your new school. Who knows, if you’re convincing enough …?” I knew she was going to do the Christmas dinner all along, but I thought her little game was kind of cute.

  “Mom,” I began, and I was glad I could say it truthfully, “it’s the most amazing, fantastic, out-of-the-box school I’ve ever gone to.”

  She smiled with such genuine happiness, I was glad I’d said it.

  “You get your Christmas dinner tonight,” she said. “In fact, I think we’ll have a little party.”

  If I live to be two hundred and ten, I’ll bet I never have a better Christmas. Mom had gotten a tree the night she and Doris went shopping, and Ray and I started decorating it. It must have been about six-thirty when I heard the sound of a car engine. I looked out and saw Alvin’s red Jeep come slewing into the drive.

  “What the heck?” I muttered. Frowning, I watched Weeser, Alvin, and Harriet get out.

  “I asked them to come,” said Mom. She must have seen my frown. “I hope it’s okay? I mean, you guys get along so fabulously.”

  “Oh yeah, we do,” I said. “Fabulously.”

  Watching Harriet walk gracefully to the door, I felt that familiar tingle right down in my bones. She looked so pretty.

  Mom went to greet them at the door. Feeling shy about seeing them, I went into the living room and joined Ray. He was on a stool hanging up a fat Styrofoam snowman on the tree. He glanced over and saw Harriet and nearly toppled over.

  “There’s Harriet,” he whispered, “and your other two buddies!”

  I nodded. “This will be interesting, because they don’t remember anything either. Plus, they’re mad at me for some other stuff that happened up here.”

  Ray grinned. “Great, and here you practically saved their butts down below. Their Amberlight for sure.”

  It turned out I was wrong about Harriet and the others being mad at me. When they came through the living room door, I knew right away something drastic had happened. Harriet walked straight over and gave me a hug. Just like that. Mom gave me a little look as she headed to the kitchen, and I heard Ray murmur, “Ring-a-ding.”

  I could tell Harriet and the others didn’t recognize Ray at all, so I introduced him as an exchange student from Brazil who was here to “study American education and the current monkey population.”

  Ray let out a guffaw at this, but then covered by falling into a coughing fit.

  I got some sharp, suspicious looks from Harriet and Weeser, but Alvin simply stepped forward and shook hands with Ray.

  “There aren’t any monkeys in northern Michigan,” said Alvin, “unless you count the present company.” He said it with a straight face, so I wasn’t sure how much he understood.

  Then Alvin stuck out his big paw to me and we shook hands. “Are we still friends, Tonka-bud?” he rumbled. He just about squeezed my hand to death.

  “Of course,” I said. “Why not?”

  “Why not?” said Weeser. “Because back at school we acted like lowdown, nefarious—”

  “Scuz-butts,” said Alvin. “And we’re sorry.”

  Harriet leaned in and fixed me with a look from those golden-brown eyes. “Look, we know something happened today,” she whispered. “We don’t know for sure what it is, but we think you do and it’s driving us—”

  “Buggy, bonkers, and bats,” added Weeser.

  I exchanged a look with Ray, then said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. But where’s your new friend, Mr. Sincerely Barry Branson?”

  Harriet expelled her breath. “Out of our hair, I hope. He got mad at us because we were talking to you.”

  “He says he’s not going to help us fight Ming,” said Alvin. “I told him she was already gone anyway. So then he got mad and started saying how dumb we were compared to his other buddies. The big gasbag.”

  “He’s not as smart as he let on, either,” said Weeser. “He didn’t even know about the book, The Last of the Mohicans. He spent most of his time telling me that asthma is an imaginary disease, and how pathetic my vocabulary is.”

  Alvin hitched up his pants. “So where’s the food?”

  “Right behind you,” I said, pointing at a table by the wall.

  Alvin, Weeser, and Ray headed for it.

  Harriet grabbed my arm and fixed me with a laser look.

  “Are you going to tell us what happened?”

  I almost reached out and took her hand, but I held myself back. “Of course,” I said. “I’ll tell you as soon as we’re alone.” I didn’t think she’d remember those were the words she used when we were unloading the trailer on that first day, but she did. Her eyes sparkled.

  “You remember so much,” she said.

  I nodded and there was a bit of sadness in my voice when I said, “Yeah, I remember … quite a bit.”

  We had an absolutely great dinner party. Mom had a neat fire going in the fireplace and everyone pitched in to finish the tree. When we reached the top, we couldn’t get the angel up there, so Alvin hoisted Weeser on his shoulders.

  “Put that little fardex right at the top,” said Alvin, and Weeser did.

  It was right about then that Mom pulled off her biggest surprise. Another car drove in and Alvin groaned.

  “Oh no,” he said, “it’s my folks and some of the new teachers.”

  Mom smiled at me. “Alvin’s dad is on the school board, and he and the other board members have just hired a principal and three new teachers. And since the board wanted to make them feel welcome in the community, I invited them to come over and join us. It’ll be a wonderful opportunity for you kids to meet the teachers. They could be very important in your lives.”

  Ray and I exchanged a comical look over this.

  Jack, Lilah, and Teddy, along with Haggerty, came in, accompanied by Alvin’s mom and dad.

  “Cover for me if you have to,” said Ray in my ear. “Remember, Jack and the others think I came from the high school to pick them up at the airport.”

  Alvin’s mom introduced everyone until she got to Ray and me. I jumped in quickly and explained that Ray was a new exchange student up at the high school. Alvin’s mom turned and started to introduce me, but Jack stopped her.

  “I think we already met this young man earlier today,” he said. “Weren’t you the one who came running outside, yelling and carrying a trumpet?”

  I grinned weakly. “Yeah, I was just goofing around.”

  Mom shot me a steely-eyed look.

  “Right,” said Jack dryly. “I thought that might be it.” He looked around and I could tell he was antsy already and thinking about leaving. Mom, bless her heart, came to the rescue with food and then more food. Presently everyone seemed happy and content to stay right where they were.

  Now here’s the funny part that only Ray and I could appreciate. All during the evening, Lilah, Teddy, and Jack kept giving Ray, Harriet, and me fishy looks.

  All of a sudden Teddy blurted out, “You know, it’s amazing, but I keep thinking I’ve seen you kids before.”

  “Really?” I said. “Wow, that’s interesting.”

  Right the
re is where Harriet really got hot on the trail. She definitely knew there was some gigantic puzzle here, but she couldn’t quite see it yet. Alvin and Weeser had funny expressions, like maybe they suspected something, but only Harriet was close. The only other person who was really suspicious was Lilah. She kept looking at me, and whenever I met her gaze, she smiled and looked away.

  Finally Jack said they had better be going because of school tomorrow. Haggerty cleared his throat and added, “But a wonderful Christmas party is just the ticket to make one feel welcome in a new community.”

  “Oh my, yes,” I heard Jack murmur, “just the ticket.”

  Then, right before they left, there were two more funny moments. I was helping Lilah with her coat when she turned and fixed me with those dark eyes.

  “What kind of music do you like, Eugene?” she asked, and she surprised me by using her voice, because most of the evening she had seemed shy about it.

  I looked right into her eyes and said, “Spanish. ‘Malagueña’ is my favorite song.” Teddy started to sign all this to her, but she waved him off. She knew right away what I had said. Boldly, I raised my voice so the others could hear and added, “But there’s another song I really like.

  Maybe you’ve heard it? It’s called ‘The Young Shall Ride Unicorns.’“

  For a moment the room went stone silent. Jack stared hard at me. Harriet too.

  Lilah got my last words from Teddy’s flashing hands and then studied me with an almost fierce intensity. I saw a light flash deep in those dark eyes. “You’ll have to teach me that one,” she said with a smile. “Maybe in band class?”

  “Sounds great,” I replied.

  Then, at the very end, I did one last dumb thing, and I have to admit it was right up there with the biggest dufus things I’ve ever done. I went to get Jack’s winter coat from the closet. I grabbed one that I thought was his and started to help him into it. He almost had the thing on before a terrific burst of laughter from the others stopped him. I realized I had accidentally pulled out one of Mom’s old jackets, a strange maroon thing with a big fuzzy collar.

  “Whoa, what am I doing?” I said.

  By this time everyone was looking and laughing their heads off. Jack reddened as he struggled to get his arms out and, of course, he ended by pulling out the pink lining of the sleeves. This made Teddy laugh so hard he was slapping his knees.

  Fortunately Mom hurried to the rescue with Jack’s coat and smoothed things over. When Jack, Lilah, and Teddy went on outside, I heard Jack say to them, “The mother is nice, but that is one annoying kid.”

  Ray came over and lowered his voice. “Flame on, Bumpus-man. You’re funnier than a monkey on a stick.”

  “Just as long as I don’t become one,” I said, and Ray laughed.

  Ray and I followed the others back into the living room. The adults started out talking about the mysterious disappearance of Ming and the others, and that was interesting, but then they got on the subject of taxes and problems with the city sewer system. Harriet gave me a look, then nodded toward the den. I checked to see what Ray, Alvin, and Weeser were up to, but they had already lost interest in the conversation and were lying on the floor watching cars explode on TV.

  I followed Harriet into the den, and I barely got inside the door when she grabbed my shirt front and gave me a real serious look.

  “If you value your life, Mr. Eugene Wise,” she said, “you’d better tell me what’s going on. I can’t take it another minute.”

  I nodded. “You’d better sit down. I don’t know how long this will take.”

  I told her everything, or almost everything. I might have left out a few details, but the more I told her, the more she seemed to recall.

  “It’s coming back to me now,” she kept saying, “and I remember that!”

  Several times she burst out laughing, but when I came to how we were trapped in Ming’s school, she grew quiet and somber. I started to say something about that final room and those frightening black chairs, but she stopped me.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “I remember that part. It was so … awful.”

  She said this in a kind of detached voice, and “awful” seemed a tame word to describe that scene. But then I remembered how she had bathed in the waters of the Grotto and had a final glass of it too, and how Adjana had said it would help ease the pain. And I was glad for Harriet. I wouldn’t have wanted her to remember the true horror of that moment.

  I hurried on to our adventures in the Blue Grotto, and when I mentioned the Silver Ball she suddenly broke into tears.

  “Harriet …” I said. “I’m sorry.” I stared at her helplessly. “Don’t cry.”

  She tried to smile. “It’s okay. I just remembered how I felt when they gave it to me and how beautiful the ball was. It was such a special moment.”

  “I know,” I said. “It was special.” Her eyes filled again and so I moved on to the battle, hoping to distract her a little. She remembered almost all of that part until we got to the loading at the station. For some reason she couldn’t recall how difficult Plumly had been and how he had run off.

  Finally, I explained how I’d figured out the memory secret.

  Her eyes lit up. “I actually sang, too! Or well, I hummed, because I was scared. I just vaguely recall it, but I think I did the ‘Unicorns’s song for a short while.”

  “Maybe that’s why you remember so much,” I said.

  She nodded. “This is so wonderful. Jack, Lilah, and Teddy … they’ll be just the best teachers. And Jack is the new McGinty. Do you think he knows?”

  “No.” I told her about how Jack and the others hadn’t sung on the way up. “I think they remember something—you can see it in their eyes. But it hasn’t come back in any clear way.”

  She studied me for a moment and then her eyes clouded over. “But what about Adjana and the battle that’s going on?”

  “That’s the bad part,” I said. “Even though Ming’s a prisoner, the Stormies are a real threat and it could get worse.”

  Harriet shivered. “Do you think Ming might ever escape and come back here?”

  I shrugged nervously. “I don’t think so, but who knows? If she came back to the surface, I think she’d go for another school. Something fresh.”

  I watched Harriet nod, then run a hand through her short, curly brown hair. She looked up with a slight frown. “I have the feeling she’ll be back.”

  I gave her an intent look. “You mean it’s like fate?”

  She gave me a faint smile and nodded. “I feel we’re still caught up in something.”

  I heard Weeser’s asthmatic voice coming from the living room, then a burst of laughter from Alvin and Ray.

  “Are you going to tell Alvin and Weeser everything?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Probably, if they ask. They’re not quite as curious as I am. I don’t think they sang at all on the trip up.”

  Just then Alvin and Weeser came barreling into the room.

  “Caught you!” said Weeser. “Whatever you’re doing.”

  “Let’s get rocking,” said Alvin. “We’ve got school tomorrow.” He hesitated, then held out a large hand. “All righty, Tonka-bud. Great party.”

  I shook hands with him. He tried to give me one of his scalp burners, but I squirmed away.

  “We know you were really trying to help,” Alvin went on, “when you read that fardexy poem in Ming’s class.”

  “You big dorf,” said Weeser, “you didn’t know that!”

  “Yeah, but we know now,” insisted Alvin. He turned back to me. “And Harriet thinks you had something to do with Ming leaving.”

  “What was that?” called Mom from the living room.

  “Nothing Mom,” I said. “Harriet and the others are leaving.”

  Weeser opened his green eyes wide. “Duwang! Now we’re ‘the others.’“

  I followed the three of them to the door. Alvin and Weeser ran on ahead and promptly got into a snowball fight. Harr
iet turned to me.

  “There is one thing you forgot,” she said. “Remember when we were in Ming’s awful room and you said there was something you wanted to tell me?”

  I suddenly felt warm all over. “I remember,” I said. Without hesitating, I leaned over and whispered exactly what I had always wanted to tell her. Every word of it.

  She didn’t say anything for a long moment, then she simply smiled and gave me a kiss right on the lips. Just before she went out the door, she shot me a last look. And man, that look! It said she had things she could tell me that were every bit as interesting, if I was ever lucky enough to hear them.

  Ray joined me at the door and we watched the three of them get into the Jeep. Alvin honked the horn like a maniac and they all waved at us as they went down the snowy drive.

  “Well, Bumpus-man,” said Ray, “about time for me to go, too. But before I do, I guess we’d better get to the last part of the mission. Once I get your decision on that, I can head back.”

  “So what’s the last part?” I asked.

  Ray took a deep breath. “You know that Adjana always wanted John Ashford—the other McGinty—to finish his book so we could expose old Ming-daddy. Well, she evidently knew he was getting sick and might not be able to finish it, and so she was already looking around for someone else who might do the job. And guess who she started thinking about?”

  “Jack, obviously. He’s the new McGinty, even if he doesn’t know it.”

  Ray gave out a funny bleat of a laugh. “Good guess, but it ain’t right. Adjana says he hasn’t got the right temperament. He’s too antsy and a little too … what was it?—too snarly! No, there was someone else.”

  “Oh, man, don’t tell me,” I began.

  He grinned happily. “Yup. It’s you. The old monster-brain.”

  I held up a hand to stop this nonsense right now. “Ray, I don’t have the talent for that kind of thing. I mean, the vocabulary, the smarts. And anyway, I can’t finish Ashford’s dumb book because it’s gone! You said so yourself.”

  Ray waved his hands. “Forget all that. That ain’t the book she’s talking about, anyway! She wants you to write your own. Just tell about what happened on your adventure. She said it doesn’t have to be a huge—what did she call it?—a huge literary deal! Just tell the story in your own words. Just like it happened. She mainly wants the kids out there to know about Ming and the Stormies. And Adjana thinks you’re just the one to reach ‘em.”