I walked down the path and dropped my stuff on the rocks, close to where I could check out the waves. I sat down and began to gnaw on the energy bar from my bag. It was chewy, and a bit chalky, but these things were a staple for me so I was used to it by now.
Seven Mile Beach in Lennox Head is particularly famous for this righthand break at Lennox Point. This morning, the waves looked ‘fun size’, which for me meant shoulder-to-head high. They were fairly clean, and I was surprised to see there were already about 25 people out, which I thought was a bit much considering it wasn’t even 7am. I’d honestly thought I’d be one of the first five in the water.
Even though it was early summer, the water temperature in December still hadn’t warmed up enough for me, so I put on my long-sleeve spring suit. Fins in and board waxed, I strapped my leash around my ankle and carefully made my way down the rocks towards the water – board under arm and hair blowing in the wind.
So as I mentioned, the Lennox Point wave is a right point break. That means it breaks onto the rocky point and starts to crumble from the right, moving left. When most people start surfing, they try to catch the wave and ride it straight into shore. But a good, rideable wave actually moves in a specific direction – either to the left or to the right.
Now, what separates a good surfer from an excellent surfer is they understand that surfing requires not just skill and technique, but also a creative ability to read and feel the dynamic movements of each wave. No two waves are alike, so you have to adapt to each one individually, then make little corrections from moment to moment like adjusting your stance, speed, and rhythm. In other words, in order to maximize the ‘surfing potential’ from each wave, you have to develop both your left (analytical) and right (creative) brain hemispheres, which means it takes a strong head and a soft heart to get really good out there. Pretty cool, right?
I paddled my way to the point and took a couple of smaller waves on the inside, before heading to the main break. I lingered on the outskirts of the line-up to watch how the waves were breaking and how people were positioning themselves. There was a handful of locals dominating, and as it became more crowded with each passing minute, I knew I had to join the mix. It was now or never.
And then I noticed a set in the distance. It was coming in from a different angle and I happened to be lined up perfectly for it. I turned around and paddled hard to get into position. I snagged the first wave, etched in two smooth warm-up carves right off the bat. Then I had to stall and wait for the wave to re-form so that I could pick up speed and get in one really sweet cutback before surfing off the back of the wave just as it broke in front of me. Yeeewww!
In the line-up waiting for another, I contemplated my experience. Every wave is different, so you have to feel for a new connection with each and every one, and then within every moment of each wave. To do this, you gotta let go of your thoughts, because thoughts are distractions that pull you away from the moment. Yep, thoughts get in the way, alright. They take you out of the present, which makes it near impossible to adapt and react to the wave’s continual ebb and flow. If you’re not focused, you’re pretty much f*cked. It’s that simple.
Wow! I thought. The best way to surf with both style and grace is by being fully present with the wave, from moment to moment. That’s when the magic happens. That’s when you’re ‘in the zone’ and everything else around you melts away. It becomes effortless, where there’s this feeling of connection that’s...
Ooooh, is that what Teo meant by ‘believe’? I wondered. Are we talking about a higher power, when he says there’s more to life than meets the eye?
I sat on my board, pondering away when I heard a voice in my ear. It was Teo.
‘Yes Zoe, wonderful! When you spend your time focusing on what you should have done or said, or should be doing or saying, you are simply stuck in the past or future, instead of focusing on the now. These thoughts occupy your mind and pull you out of the present moment. Therefore, you become unaware, making it quite impossible to connect with the perfect rhythm of the perfect moment available to you. Remember, every moment is perfect when you connect with it fully.’
I looked around but he was nowhere to be seen. What the heck was going on here? It was hard not to be in disbelief. I mean, how was he just showing up out of nowhere? Where was his voice coming from? And also, I couldn’t hear anything else around me. It was like someone had hit the mute button on the world, no joke! The sounds of the ocean – completely gone. It felt like time was standing still.
And then Teo’s voice continued.
‘Zoe, the Universe has everything sorted out for you, and in truth, you need do nothing. Indeed, this is what it means to be in the zone. When this is forgotten, you begin to live from a state of fear. You think you’re all on your own, that you need to control everything. Every decision, every thought... the outcome of your life now depends solely on your own ability to take charge of it, which would seem very scary indeed. But this, sweet Zoe, is backward thinking. You are not alone at all. The Universe has your back 100% and is always conspiring in your favour. It gives you signs and opportunities and ways to change your mind about how you see your life and your ‘self’. With trust, you can turn any seeming tragedy into a gift.’
Like with Derek? I wasn’t speaking out loud, but my thoughts were loud and clear.
‘Exactly. You can respond to your experience with Derek in many ways. It just depends on how you choose to perceive it.’
‘So how do I trust in the, um, Universe, when it feels like things are falling apart? I can’t just sit back and do nothing… can I?’
‘We’ll get to the doing part later, Zoe, but for now, trusting requires a little bit of faith, and faith requires a lot of patience.’
I struggled to grasp all of this information.
‘Um, Teo, how is it I can hear you but I can’t see you? This is mighty odd, and I can’t believe I’m not freaking out. I mean, seriously, this is really really weird, and I’m still not sure I understand who you are and where you came from.’
‘Zoe, you are believing there’s more to life than meets the eye, and this is why you’re not freaking out. You are also trusting this experience because, deep down, you have faith. You feel familiarity with this experience, even though you may not consciously remember it. With belief there is trust, and with trust there is faith. Don’t worry; you don’t have to have it all figured out at once. We’ll take our time. We’ll ease into it. Have patience, Zoe. I love you.’
And in an instant the sweet sounds of the ocean were once again loud. And I knew Teo was gone.
CHAPTER
13
I stayed in the water for over an hour after Teo’s visit, mulling over his words in between waves. I knew for sure that patience wasn’t a strong quality of mine. I’m more the type of person who, when she wants something, wants it now. And besides, I thought that my impatience was actually a good quality, because it meant I didn’t waste time when it came to going after my goals. I would get this laser focus and drive to achieve whatever it is I wanted. On the other hand, I got frustrated if I wasn’t seeing results or achieving those goals fast enough. I don’t know if this has more to do with my expectations or something, but I tended to feel like a failure much of the time.
And then I remembered the saying ‘patience is a virtue’ and wondered, might it actually be true?
A small wave lined up in front of me so I took advantage of it and rode it into shore. I slid off my board as I got to the best exit area, and carefully manoeuvred around the slippery rocks and up to where my stuff was. I was a bit chilly, but it was nice to feel so refreshed, which always helps to rinse off the ‘jetlag fuzzies’. I picked up my stuff and chugged some water while cruising back to the house.
After rinsing off in the outdoor shower (conveniently located on the back deck), I dashed to my room and threw on a t-shirt and my comfy jogging pants, the
n went straight to the kitchen and helped myself to S’s food.
‘Let’s see… eggs, tomato, avocado, toast. Coffee. Perfect.’
I put the coffee on to brew while I made scrambled eggs. As soon as I sat down at the table to eat, S came out of her room and plopped down on the sofa.
‘Hey you. Do you want a cup of coffee or something?’ I said.
‘That’d be tops, hun, thanks.’
I got back up and poured her a cuppa, adding a little bit of milk.
‘Thanks, just how I like it,’ she said as she reached up and took the mug. A few minutes of silence passed while I stuffed my face and S sipped her coffee, before she finally broke the silence.
‘What’s up, Zozo? Something on your mind? I mean, apart from the obvious.’
It’s no surprise she could tell. She knew me well.
‘Well kinda, yeah,’ I replied. ‘I’ve been thinking about the concept of patience. Like, as in, practicing patience as a way to increase my faith.’
I wasn’t ready to mention Teo yet. That part I was going to keep to myself.
‘That’s pretty deep, hun. Faith in what?’
‘Um, faith in a higher power, I guess. You know, in that there’s more to life than meets the eye.’
It felt a bit weird to say it out loud. Plus, even though Sophie and I were super close, this wasn’t the kind of stuff we normally talked about. Heck it wasn’t the kind of stuff I normally talked about.
‘Okay, I’m intrigued. Tell me more,’ she said.
Alright, I thought to myself, she seemed interested enough. It felt safe to continue.
‘Well, it’s like, I was doing so well before I met Derek, and of course it was great to be with him and have a partner with me, but it also seems like it all totally backfired. You’d think I’d have been doing so well on tour with him around, but instead I’ve been seriously sucking over the last year or so. And then we broke up anyway! So it made me wonder, what was the point of it all? What was the point of all the work I put into the relationship?
But now, ever since I got on that plane and have had some time to think things over, I’m wondering if everything that happened with D was meant to happen. Know what I mean? I guess that’s how I want to feel, but I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I’m still upset, and well, pissed off when I think about him, to be honest.’
S nodded her head, acknowledging that she understood what I was saying. And then she spoke.
‘So you want to see the experience as positive instead of negative?’
‘Yep, I do. But I don’t know how faith or patience fits into that. Does that make sense?’
I looked at S quizzically then, hoping that I didn’t sound like a freak. S grinned at me.
‘Hey, remember last year when I called you because I was bummed about that friend who was desperate to borrow $1,500, and promised to pay me back within three months, but then completed avoided my calls and ended up leaving town?’
‘Yeah I remember.’
‘Mate, I felt totally ripped off by someone who I thought was my friend.’
‘That was bullshit for sure!’
I was enthused when she said this, glad to know she didn’t think I was a nutter. I remembered that story clearly too, because it’s crazy hard to upset Sophie. She’s just so damn nonchalant about life, and sees the best in everyone. But this... this had really gotten to her bad.
‘I was pissed at her for ages,’ S went on, ‘not to mention pissed at myself for feeling she’d taken advantage. I blamed her for everything. I carried this feeling around with me every time I thought of her. And you know I’m not one for hating, right? Babe, I hated hating! It made me miserable. But over time I realized that I didn’t want to hold grudges and continue to be angry. So I sucked it up and eventually was able to take some responsibility for my part in the experience.’
‘How exactly?’ I asked.
‘Well, I realized that it taught me an important lesson about taking the time to listen to my instincts before I say yes to anything. My gut was telling me no, but because I felt bad for her I did it anyway. In retrospect, that was a terrible reason for doing it.’
‘Okay,’ I nodded, starting to see where this was going.
‘To take it a step further, it taught me what kind of people I want to surround myself with, whether it’s as friends or colleagues or both, yeah? Look, I do get it, babe. It took some time for me to get to this place too, but when I finally realized that blaming her wasn’t going to get me anywhere, it forced me to look at my own my shit, instead of focusing on someone else’s. Namely, that I don’t need to participate in other peoples’ problems!’
I thought about it for a minute. Even though I thought her friend was to blame, what S was saying made sense too, I guess.
‘Did it give you more faith?’
‘Aww, yeah, I think so, because a few months later, when we were hiring for lifeguards, I suggested that we have a three meetings rule before we make any decisions. We took our time and it helped us sort out the right people for the team. It brought some real good quality to the process, which was perfect for me in terms of gaining respect from my boss, who gave me a promotion shortly afterwards. But you know, I don’t think I would’ve had the knowledge to do that, or even the confidence to suggest it, if I hadn’t gone through that other experience first. It gave me faith that everything works itself out in the end, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.’
I couldn’t believe how much S had to say on this topic. And still she wasn’t done…
‘Z, if you want to feel more optimistic, tell me what’s pissing you off first. That way I’ll know what we’re working with, which will help us to see where you need to change your mind about the situation.’
‘Hmm, good question,’ I said as I thought about it. ‘Well, when I was on the plane I had a moment of optimism actually, at least for a couple of hours... until the reality set in. Ha!’ I laughed awkwardly.
‘Good on ya, mate, a sense of humour!’ Sophie was smiling as she sipped her coffee.
‘Yeah right, well, I think what pisses me off is that he had a certain way he wanted me to train, and so I did what he wanted me to do, because he was coaching me. But I didn’t like what I was doing a lot of the time. I figured I had to do it because I had decided that Derek knew better, because he was a better surfer than me.’
‘And now?’ she asked.
‘Well, looking back, I’m not so sure that was a good idea. And then, in our personal life, I dunno, he kept talking about life in California and getting married and having kids, and something about it always felt like he was trying to pull me away from the scene!’
I was heating up as I let all of this out, feeling irritated now.
‘Right, that’s a pretty big contradiction, hey? You know, him being your coach yet wanting you to quit at the same time?’
‘So how do I trust the process? How do I have faith when it all feels like crap?’
The more I let my feelings out, the more I realized how upset I still was.
‘Hun, if you don’t mind me being straight up about what I’m hearing,’ and she continued without pausing, ‘it sounds to me like you gave all your power to Derek.’
I looked away briefly, contemplating what she had said, and realized it was true. I mean, I was already somewhat aware of this, but the way S said it… well, it spoke to me on a deeper level.
‘Sounds about right’ was all that came out, because honestly, this conversation was starting to bring me down.
‘Yeah, so how can you take your power back now?’
Sophie must’ve known by the tone of my voice that I was about at my threshold, but she wasn’t one to back to down when it came to getting to the bottom of an issue. And while I admired that she wasn’t afraid to deal with uncomfortable situations or conversations, some
times it was just hard to swallow her direct, no-nonsense approach. It made me miss my dad’s gentle chats, and the way he would nudge me towards seeing something more clearly. Right now, I wished he was here with me instead of away in Africa. In any case, I tried to keep going.
‘Uh, well, Derek’s not here anymore so I suppose breaking up was the first step!’
‘Righto Z, great start! What else?’
‘Hmmm, I shouldn’t assume that somebody else has all the answers, even if I consider them to be more skilled than me. I can take their thoughts and suggestions into consideration, but I don’t have to take their word for it, especially if my instincts are telling me otherwise. And as for my personal life, well, I better be really clear about the fact that surfing is my priority. No matter who comes into my life.’
Sophie was nodding her head, smiling, and I was so relieved to feel understood. It instantly lifted the dark cloud that had been looming over my head.
‘Thanks S, I’m one lucky chica to have you as my friend!’
‘Right back at ya!’ she grinned.
And I began to see it would all get better.
CHAPTER
14
I did my best to stay awake the rest of the day by distracting myself with unpacking. Bit by bit, I found a place for items that had lived on the road with me for months. My clothes met with a drawer for the first time in ages, my soggy bikinis made their way from a plastic bag in my backpack to a hook in the bathroom, and my shoes and now-empty luggage found some floor space in the closet. By the time I was done, I felt completely settled in. And it felt great.
One of the cool things about being on tour is when you’re off tour in-between seasons. It’s like being on summer holiday! I guess this may seem weird, especially if you adore the idea of living the kind of nomadic lifestyle that I live, but for me it’s the exact opposite! It’s a novelty for me to live a ‘normal’ life. You know, one that means being in the same place for an extended period of time, and where I get to appreciate the little things, like having a routine, a favourite cafe, a jogging route. And of course, when I entertain the idea of getting to see friends and family on a regular basis, it’s awesome. The comforts of home are highly under-rated, if you ask me.
Surfer Girls Kick Ass Page 6
