‘You’re family, sweetie, and you always will be. We love when you’re here and we only want the best for you.’
‘I know. You guys are the best!’
She hugged me tight and I felt a tear glide down my face. I had had such a nostalgic day, going skating and then thinking about my mom, the direction of my life, all of it. The moment made me realize just how much Abby had been like a mother to me over the years, ever since we moved here when I was still a girl.
CHAPTER
31
I was on a mission to figure shit out.
Okay, so if I want to feel good all the time, I think it comes down to: what am I not doing that I want to be doing and what am I doing that I’d rather not be doing?
It was going to take a process of elimination, I decided. I pulled out my ‘everything book’, had a look at my list of priorities, then rated how I was doing on each one on a scale of 1-10, 1 being failing miserably and needing an immediate change, 10 being totally rockin’ it. Here’s what I came up with:
surfing and surf training – 5
mind training – 3
body training – 9
talking with Teo – 6
having fun with S and the family – 7
working harmoniously with my sponsors – 3
connecting with fans and inspiring others via social media – 2
skating/playtime – 5
eating healthily for optimal energy and nutrition – 1
quiet time – 4
I felt pretty good about the progress I’d made on some of my priorities, but there was still a ton of room for improvement. I decided it would be best to focus on the areas that were desperate for my attention, i.e. anything rated less than a 5 out of 10. Of course, these were the areas I’d not given much energy to at all, because it was easier to avoid anything that would require extra diligence and willpower to change in ways I wouldn’t necessarily like.
Luckily, I had Teo on my side, and knowing that he was watching over me was a bit of an incentive to get my butt in gear. And if he could see me living at my highest potential, then I had to do my best to fulfil my role completely. Right?
Okay, here goes. I decided to start with eating healthily for optimal energy and nutrition.
It shouldn’t take much to move this from a 1 rating up to a 6 or 7, I decided optimistically as I got up to make a cup of coffee. Why don’t I make three healthy changes in my diet, by replacing something that lowers my energy with something that increases it?
I opened the freezer door to pull out the coffee tin, but as I did so, it fell out on its own, dropping to the floor. The plastic lid shattered as it hit the tiles and dumped the grinds all over the floor.
‘Dammit!’ I complained out loud. How the heck…?
Grabbing the broom from beside the fridge I began to sweep. I was glad the grinds were dry and easy to sweep, at least, instead of a wet, sloppy mess.
‘G’day Zozo!’ Sophie sung as she and Kiko walked through the open doorway, bags in tow. She stopped in her tracks when she saw me crouched on the floor, sweeping the grinds into the dustpan.
‘Yikes, what’s going on here?’
‘Ugh, a little coffee explosion. Can we add coffee to the grocery list please?’
‘No worries, hun. We have a new plan anyway!’
‘Uh-oh, another new plan?’ Ever since we were at school together, S had a tendency to come up with a lot of new plans. She loved to think up creative ideas about anything and everything, so I usually just rolled with the idea until she came up with a new one. This was how Sophie’s excited mind worked.
‘This is a for real plan!’ she insisted, as she proceeded to unload the reusable canvas shopping bags.
‘What’s all this?’ I queried, dumping the grinds out of the dustpan and into the organic waste box.
‘Mum’s specialty: cayenne, honey, and a shit ton of lemons. Apparently this is what she’s been drinking instead of coffee for the last couple of months, and she suggests we do the same. She says she feels amazing.’
‘OMG!’ I cried ecstatically, as I put the broom away. I wondered about the possibilities of Teo instigating the coffee spillage. Was it truly a coincidence?
‘Wow, didn’t think you’d be so thrilled about giving up coffee, Zoe,’ Kiko said, though not unkindly.
‘Ha! I think I’m just reacting to the strangely perfect timing of it all. I just dumped all of our coffee on the floor by accident, but also I’m trying to choose some ways to improve my health and nutrition. Maybe this is a sign?’
‘Well then, a sign it is! Water, lemon, and cayenne replaces coffee from now on. Right?’ Kiko tried to get us all in agreement.
‘Yep, guess so,’ I said with hesitation. I mean, I liked the idea of it, but...
‘Hell yeah, ladies! Keeks, Zozo, you both ready for this?’
Kiko looked over at S, trying to communicate via a scrunched face something like that’s not my name. S winked at her, not apologizing for what she’d said, or for being herself for that matter.
‘So what else are you planning to do?’ Kiko asked, changing the subject.
‘I dunno, this all literally came to me about a minute before you walked in the door. But…’ I paused, tilted my head up and looked at the ceiling, thinking about what else I could do. After a moment or two of Sophie noisily putting the stuff away, I came up with an idea.
‘I could do better with eating more real food instead of so many energy and granola bars. I’m just super lazy about it, though. Especially breakfast, because we have to get up so early for our workouts, and then I usually go surfing right afterwards. By the time I’m done, I’m starving and end up eating whatever I can get my hands on!’
Kiko was quick to respond, ‘I usually make smoothies before I work out, so we could do that? I know how to make them real tasty and super healthy. I can show you, if you like.’
S and I nodded enthusiastically, but of course S couldn’t stop there.
‘Better yet, why don’t you just spend the night, and you can make ’em for us, eh Kiki?’ She winked at her again, this time raising her eyebrows and making a sexual innuendo gesture.
Kiko rolled her eyes, ‘Guys, try to stay on track here, hey?’
But we were all laughing with S, who just wouldn’t let up with her ridiculousness. Once we calmed down, Kiko suggested that she do a bit of both. ‘I’ll make them and teach you how to make your own.’
‘Sounds great, Kiko. Thanks!’
‘Yeah, thanks babe!’ S said as she grabbed Kiko and gave her an affectionate peck on the lips. Kiko pulled away after a couple of seconds, seeming to be a bit shy with the PDA.
‘Okay,’ I continued. ‘Any thoughts on meals? Usually, I eat my main meal mid-afternoon because I’m just so damn hungry. Plus, I hate going to bed too full because then I don’t sleep well. So something light. What do you think?’
‘Salads!’ Sophie said. ‘We could take turns making salads, you and I. You know, my mum’s got some killer recipes, and I’m sure she’d love to participate.’
‘Yeah, love it.’ Any excuse to spend more time with Abby, if you asked me.
‘Cool,’ S replied. ‘We’ll talk to mum later and sort it out. And what do you guys say we do a big shop tomorrow? I don’t know what you’re up to, Zozo, but we’ve got the day off, so we were gonna sleep in and then no plans. Maybe shop late morning?’
‘Yeah, I love it!’ I said again. ‘This is all so awesome!’
We all high-fived one another, and just like that, I had the potential to boost my food and nutrition up the scale. After all, anything was an improvement on a 1!
CHAPTER
32
Abby, of course, was thrilled to be invited into our little health kick, not only for the nutritional aspect, but also because it meant spendin
g more time with her daughter and her daughter’s girlfriend. I think she liked seeing how happy Sophie was. I mean, we know S is pretty much always happy, but this was different. It was cool to see her with such an awesome chick by her side.
I woke up early the next day, anxious to keep working on my list. I got up and made my hot water, lemon and cayenne concoction before sitting down at the counter to address the next life area.
Connect with fans and inspire others via social media jumped out at me.
Hmm, well, I definitely haven’t given my fans the attention they deserve, at least not since social media fell off my radar. But social media was a great way to connect with them, and I had no doubt they wanted to see what I’d been up to.
Maybe I just need to be honest from now on, and share the good with the bad? It scared me, but in a good way. Plus, you can’t have the highs without the lows, so this felt like the most authentic way to create long-term consistency. I’ll have to be smart about how I do this, if I want to inspire them with those lows.
I thought for a minute about how I could get back in the game with @surfergirlskickass. Obviously beginning on a low was not the way to go. Not after all this time. Ooh! I should post a photo from the skate park. It’s a perfect and fun way to start. Yaasss! This is legit awesomeness!
I posted a super silly photo that made me smile. While I continued to scroll around my feed, Kiko came out of Sophie’s room and closed the door quietly behind her. She had on a pair of Thai-style fisherman pants and a pink singlet, and was tying her dark hair up into a bun. She looked up afterwards and gasped when she saw me at the counter. ‘Oh sorry, Zoe!’ she said in a whisper. ‘I didn’t expect to see anyone out here already.’
‘No, no, it’s all good. I just couldn’t sleep any longer. What are you doing up?’
‘I want to do some tai chi while the world outside is still quiet, and before Soph gets up and starts bouncing off the walls!’
‘Ha! I get it. Hey, do you think I could join you?’ The words just flew out of my mouth before I even had a chance to realize what I was saying. ‘I loved the class you taught with the lifeguards that morning and I had such a good surf session afterwards.’
‘Yeah, of course! I was gonna do it on the beach.’
‘Sweet. Thanks! I’m gonna change real quick and then I’ll meet you out there,’ I said as I hopped off the bar stool and bounced into my room.
I put on some yoga tights, then changed out of my t-shirt into a random navy singlet that was lying on the floor. As I walked out back, Kiko was on the beach and had already started. I left a few feet of distance between us, and began to follow her flow. Slow, steady, purposeful movements. The first 10 minutes were pretty challenging. My mind was busy so my body had a hard time working slowly. Initially, my pace was rushed, but as we continued, I found myself easing into the rhythm of tai chi. Focus on the moment, I reminded myself over and over again, while noticing how challenging that was.
We were done about 30 minutes later.
‘Kiko, you are one beautiful being!’
Kiko smiled, accepting my compliment gracefully with a delicate ‘thank you’. Picking up her water bottle, she asked, ‘You know how I mentioned tai chi was a kind of meditation? Have you thought any more about trying meditation since the other day?’
‘No. Well, I keep wanting to, but then I never get around to it.’
‘Look, you’re more than welcome to do tai chi with me whenever you like.’
‘I’d love that, thanks! I feel so much better from it, but in a way that’s hard to describe. How did you get introduced to it?’ Kiko fascinated me and I was curious about this girl making my friend even happier than I’d ever seen her.
‘Oh, I learned from my grandparents, actually, on my dad’s side. When they were younger, they spent many years traveling, exploring the world with just their backpacks while picking up odd jobs and work-trade options along the way. At one point, they were in China, and some guy they were volunteering with was really into it. He invited them to do a class and apparently they were hooked instantly, so they made it a daily practice from then on. And when they finally came home, they opened up their own studio here. Needless to say, the whole family has been raised with it. I guess you could say it’s sort of in our blood.’
‘Wow, so you’re like a ninja!’ I said enthusiastically – and not joking at all. She was a unique individual, and the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to learn from her.
‘How have you benefitted from it? I mean, can you see the difference when you don’t do it?’ I figured she’d been doing it for so long she may not be able to tell.
‘OMG I totally know what it’s like to not do it! There were a couple of years, a while back, when I completely rejected it from my life. My parents call it my teenage rebellion years. Ha ha!’
‘Ha ha! Awesome. You’re such a rebel!’ We were both laughing as she continued.
‘Well they’re probably right, but no matter what the reason was, at that time I just didn’t want to be told what to do. I didn’t care about the benefits of tai chi. I didn’t care to be in the same room with my family. I just didn’t care at all. So I ditched it for quite a while, like a couple of years. And I was definitely a different person. More agro, more controlling, moodier. It was a lot harder to feel peace because I was reacting to the little things in daily life, like traffic, or an awkward conversation, or when things didn’t go my way. I’m sure there were emotional growing pains of being a teenager thrown in there too, but still…
And after a while of rebelling against my family and, to be honest, against my ‘self’, I reached a… tipping point, I guess you could say. During that time, I was dealing with bulimia, and well, I ended up in the hospital...’
‘Oh wow, Kiko…’ I didn’t know what else to say.
‘Yeah, it was a wake-up call, that’s for sure. My body was shutting down, and it forced me to decide: do I want to live or do I want to die? And that’s when I decided I had to change the way I was going about my life. So the first thing I did was join up with my family again. And being with my family took me back to tai chi and lots of other things. Immediately, I became happier. Like a peaceful happy, just a sort of feeling of content, even though I was still unsure of my life path.’
‘And now?’
‘Well, I still don’t know my life path! But I do like what I’m doing, and who I’m with, and how I feel, so I’m just going to keep doing that right now.’
We walked back to the house and I made my way to the kitchen to make Kiko’s cayenne drink. I made one for Soph too, since I could hear rustling from her room, as Kiko and I chatted away.
‘G’day guys!’ Sophie swung open the door and came bouncing out.
‘S, do you just wake up excited?’ Of course, I already knew the answer to this.
‘You betcha, Zozo! The attitude’s gratitude, right babe?!’
She looked at us, and gave her signature wink. I couldn’t help but admire her ability to set things straight. Kiko chimed in, asking when we wanted to go shopping, but I wasn’t feeling motivated for it. I hated shopping. I got irritated standing in crowds, driving in traffic, waiting in line, etc.
‘Actually,’ I said, coming to grips with myself, ‘do you guys mind if I stay back? I’m working on this thing, and I feel all zen from tai chi, and I think it would be a good time to sort out a few things.’
‘Yeah, no worries.’ Kiko said easily, without hesitation.
‘You guys did tai chi without me?’ Sophie pouted, acting fake-hurt. We knew she was kidding, because tai chi so wasn’t her vibe. After a moment of playing her little facade, she straightened up and with an air of confidence said, ‘Of course, chica, no worries. Get your shit together and we’ll grab everything we need for food, okay?’
About an hour later, after a delicious smoothie lesson from Kiko, the two of them left for the
store and I sat back down at the counter with my list.
Well, well, what do you know? I was looking at priority number 2 – mind training – which I’d given a 3 rating. I crossed out the 3 and bumped it up to a 5. If I practice tai chi or meditation of some sort three times a week, I think I’ll be able to bump it up to at least a 7. Here’s hoping.
Since that one had been easy, I decided none of the priorities list should feel difficult. Nothing about anything should feel difficult for that matter! Geez, why do we make things so painful for ourselves?
I felt wildly excited with this revelation, and decided to roll with it. I put down my pen and slipped on my bikini instead.
CHAPTER
33
The conditions were onshore. It was a soupy mess out there. Generally speaking, this is far from the ideal scenario for surfers. The wind was blowing onto the beach, which forces the waves to fold, closing them out. Bleugh! But as a pro, I have to be prepared to surf in any condition, so it’s always been a habit of mine to go out and practice no matter what. The plus side of surfing in crappy conditions was that it wouldn’t be as crowded. Bonus!
I battled my way through the wind, duck diving through like a million waves. (Okay, okay, more like 15!) I made it to the line-up after about 10 minutes. Whew! I thought to myself as I finally got to sit up on my board and stretch out my shoulders. The trouble with choppy conditions is that everything feels hectic. Imagine running on a track versus running cross-country. One is a clear, predictable course on a smooth surface, and the other is full of twists and turns and obstacles on uneven ground.
I took a few minutes to catch my breath before looking around to see if I recognized any of the other four people out here. Nope. But I did make eye contact with a couple of them, exchanging friendly nods. See, when it’s crowded, everyone is a bit more ego and agro; people ignore one another because we’re all in this kind of dogfight over the waves. But in conditions like these, when there’s only a handful of people out, it becomes an encouraging community. Weird.
Surfer Girls Kick Ass Page 15
