I was paddling my ass off to get back out there with only two minutes left when another gem of a wave lined up right in front of me! Emily still had priority, but she was sitting too far outside to play defence. I knew this would be my last chance, so I went for it… and got barrelled! I saw it starting to form down the line and had to race to catch up to it. I could see it was going to be a tight fit, but I was in the zone! I stomped on my back foot and put on the brakes, tucking myself in with perfect timing, riding deep before digging in my rail to pick up speed before flying out of the pit unscathed.
One word for getting barrelled: divine.
Even with an 8.67 and a 9.25, I had only narrowly beaten Emily. Still, it was enough to advance me to the Semifinals! Em, of course, was gracious and friendly as we got out of the water. I have no doubt that she was bummed, but her good sportsmanship reminded me yet again that professional surfing isn’t all about the results.
The men were up now, which meant I wouldn’t be surfing again that day. Seth and I hung out, enjoying each other’s company, while I reacquainted myself with the others on tour. Socializing, if you will. And Seth was stoked to meet the likes of Jay Jay, Nelly, and Rick, watching heats and getting the feel for the ‘scene’.
It was a great day, not just for the surfing, but also in re-aligning myself with the people on tour in a positive way. They were my surfing family, not just the competition. And this attitude helped me relax, loosen up, and have fun!
CHAPTER
41
Two days later and it was Finals day. There were still two heats left in the Quarterfinals, so I was able to watch the action and get a good sense of the conditions without expending any energy. Bailey was in one of those heats and had won – and now, we were seated together!
The Semifinals were on, and Bails and I were in the water. It turned windy and hectic at the start of our heat, but I was confident I could manage myself in these conditions because of all the time I’d spent practicing in shitty waves for this purpose. Bailey had been very active during her Quarterfinal heat less than an hour ago, and as a result she was looking sluggish. Regardless, I focused on myself and maintained priority so that I could pick the most ideal waves. It was a smart strategy that paid off. Bails, unfortunately for her, wasn’t able to find one that would give her enough scoring potential to catch up to me, and even though my rides were only in the low 8-point range, it was still enough to win the heat. Yes!!
I felt stronger and stronger as I progressed through the event, gaining confidence in my ability to make a comeback. And now, I had made it to the Finals!
Bails, of course, was thrilled as ever. A Semifinal finish at the first event of the season in just her second year on tour was incredible.
‘Right on, Zoe!’ Bailey said as she high-fived me. ‘You were on fire!’
‘Thanks!’ I was so excited. It felt like a sweet victory, beating Bailey. It wasn’t so much about beating Bailey (though I admit it felt good), but more about surfing to my ability, and having the confidence to execute my rides with precision.
After an hour break, they called the Finals on! Tanya and I were in the water, both ready to charge. She hadn’t made it to Finals often over the last couple of years, but then again, neither had I.
We both held steady, maintaining momentum throughout the entire heat without losing steam. I could hear the excitement from the large crowd of people watching from shore as we are battled it out. Tanya laid into a massive arc on one of her flawless rides, impressing the judges and scoring her an 8.95. I answered back with a drawn-out layback carve before coming back up and attacking the lip. It landed me an 8.99. We went back and forth like this, slashing out turns and even getting barrelled. Surfing in Finals at uncrowded Snapper Rocks with killer conditions was insane!
Tanya took the lead from our last exchange, and now there was only one minute left on the clock. The pressure was there, trying to grab my attention like the itch of a mosquito bite. But I didn’t scratch. No way! My head was in the game... I had priority, and needed to find a wave ASAP. I scanned the horizon and noticed a set in the distance. I paddled frantically to get into position, praying for the wave to catch up to me in time. I felt its surge from behind, but still needed to get in one more stroke before I could…
Bzzzzzzz… The buzzer went off. Time was up and the heat was over. Tanya took the win.
Argh, bummer! I gave myself a brief moment to mourn the loss, and then quickly pulled things back into perspective. I paddled over to ‘T’ and gave her a hug.
‘Great job, T, congrats!’
‘Thanks, Zoe, thanks so much!’ She was beaming with joy, and I can honestly say I was happy for her. I mean, I could stay bummed and angry and negative or whatever, or I could share in her happiness. The choice was mine, I’d come to learn, and option two was decidedly the one that felt good. Of course, my first choice is always to win, but if that doesn’t happen, why not just share in my opponent’s victory? Besides, the purpose of my competitor was to help me improve my game and develop my mind, right?
I surfed into shore, signed some autographs and got my photo taken with a bunch of younguns before seeing Sophie’s parents waving at me from on the beach. Greg was with them. I walked over and gave them each a big, wet hug, thanking them for being here.
‘Greg! I had no idea you were here! Where’ve you been hiding?’ He was looking much better than the last time I’d seen him. A little less intense, a little less weight, and a lot more spark.
‘Of course I’m here, Zoe. I watched the whole thing! I didn’t want to distract you with my presence, just in case, so I just kept to myself over there,’ he said as he pointed down the beach.
‘Aww, well, I’m really glad you’re here. Thank you so much for your support. And again, I’m really sorry about bailing on you. I know you had the best of intentions.’
‘No worries, Zoe,’ he said gently. ‘I understand now why you did what you needed to do for you, because I have to say, you looked great out there. Calm, confident, powerful. It even looked like you were having fun!’
We embraced goodbye, and I walked over to Damo for my post-heat interview
‘Zoe, you looked fantastic out there! You had the crowd pretty excited! Have you gotten your mojo back?’
‘Thanks! Yeah, well I came to grips with a lot of things during the off-season, hey.’
‘What did you learn or do?’
‘Well, I had the right kind of support from the right kind of people. They helped me come back to having fun and doing things in a way that feels good. I dunno, kinda weird I guess, but it worked for me!’
‘Does it feel good to be back on tour this year? Are you going after another title?’
I giggled, ‘That’d be ace, yeah! Of course the title is on my mind for sure, yeah. But right now I’m focusing on one heat at a time, and learning how to stay present in the moment. If that takes me to a world title, well yeah… that’d be tops!’
‘Right on, Zoe,’ Damo wrapped things up, ‘Congrats on starting off the tour with a second place finish. It’s great to see you back in the game!’
I smiled at the camera and gave a thumbs up before heading up the steps into the VIP area, where I was greeted immediately by Kiko, Sophie, and Seth who all smothered me in hugs.
‘Zoe, you were so great out there. You did the best you could, hey?’ Sophie was beaming.
‘No worries, babe. I’m stoked!’
It was so awesome to have my entourage there for the awards ceremony. And even though I placed second, I felt like a winner.
I was proud. I was grateful. I was happy.
After a celebratory night out of dinner and dancing with Tanya, Ruth, Bailey, Erica, Julie, and a bunch of the others, I came home pretty late. Still feeling awake and buzzed with excitement, I decided to take a few moments to write in my ‘everything book’ and acknowledge how I felt
.
When I was done, I closed my eyes and thought back to the first time I met Teo, on the plane on my way here almost three months earlier, and all that had happened since then. So much release, so much letting go, so much moving on. It had been a lot of work (and still was), but now I know it had all been worth it, and Teo had made it so much easier. He had been a huge blessing.
‘It has been my pleasure, Zoe.’
I opened my eyes as soon as I heard his voice, and there he was.
‘Teo!’ I whispered loudly.
He was sitting next to me on my bed, and I leaned over to give him a hug. I couldn’t help but cry. I didn’t know what it was, but every time I was in his embrace, I just felt so relieved, so safe, so cared for in a way that comforted me to the depths of my being.
‘That’s the feeling of Pure Love, Zoe.’
‘I love you, Teo.’
‘I love you, Zoe. And congratulations on your performance. I’m very proud of how well you listened to the waves and maintained your centre. You had such composure. You were graceful with all your competitors.’
‘Thank you,’ I said softly, feeling like a little child who had just won over her father’s approval.
‘It was noticed, and it will be rewarded. I believe you can expect to receive a couple of calls from some potential sponsors.’
‘Really?’
‘Of course. Remember, you are always rewarded for your efforts, so maintain the ‘right’ kind of effort, and blessings will always come to you with ease.’
‘How will I know who to work with?’
‘Be clear with how you want to feel, and how you want to work with others. There will always be plenty of opportunities so never worry that you have to say yes if it doesn’t feel right. Trust your gut, Zoe. It will take you far.’
‘Okay, I will.’ But then, all of a sudden, I felt sad. ‘Wait, Teo, it sounds like you’re saying goodbye. You’re not leaving, are you?’
‘No, Zoe, of course not. I am always with you, in your heart.’
‘But…?’
‘You will see less of me in form, Zoe. It’s time for you to move on, without ‘needing’ me.’
‘But I just...’
‘The human mind develops a craving that turns into attachment, and you must know that you don’t need me in the way you think you do. Don’t worry, Zoe, you’ll see me from time to time. You’ll see my face in the clouds, in a flower, in the eyes of your loved ones. I’m everywhere, Zoe, you just have to focus on love, and know with certainty that our connection is always perfectly intact.’
I hugged him again, my face wet with tears.
‘Thank you so much, Teo. I love you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.’
I felt his warm embrace as he gently caressed my head, my face buried in the nape of his neck. And then, just like that, he was gone. I opened my eyes just to be sure. Yes, it was true. He was gone.
I laid back in bed, and before I had a chance to feel a sense of loss at his departure, I was asleep.
CHAPTER
42
I sat out on the deck the next morning, relaxing with a cup of hot water and lemon, and with Soph.
‘Are you excited to go back on tour?’ she asked. This was my last day here, and I was set to head south the next morning to Western Australia where the next comp was being held.
‘Yes and no,’ I replied. ‘I mean, there’s pros and cons to everything, including being a pro surfer. And one of the cons is being away from home, and from family and friends for so long. Staying here has been a miracle for me S. It really brought me back to life, and I have you to thank for it.’
‘Aww, c’mon.’
‘No I’m serious, S, I don’t know what I would’ve done these past couple of months if I wasn’t here. You guys are all amazing. And I have to say, Kiko is a keeper. You guys are sweet together, and she’s a solid person. I’m really happy for you!’
‘Thanks, Z. Yeah, I’m quite stoked she’s into a nutter like me, hey!’
We sat in silence for a bit, until she said something I wasn’t expecting in the least, ‘You know, Z, if you like my bro, you should go for it.’
I spat out my water as the words came out of her mouth and I looked over at her with wide eyes. I saw that she was grinning.
‘Umm… er…’ was all I could mutter.
‘Seriously, babe, Kiko told me. And besides, my bro has had a crush on you for the longest time. You seriously have no idea! I saw how you guys were dancing and hanging out when we were up the coast. I may not have let on, but c’mon, I’m not blind!’
I put my cup down and was hiding my head in my hand, not sure what to say.
‘So, are you into him or what?’
‘Umm, well…’
‘Just spit it out, Zozo. Don’t think about it so hard!’
‘Well, yeah, I am into him! But he’s your little brother!’
‘So?’
‘Well, there’s a slight weirdness to it, don’t you think? I mean, what would your parents think?’
‘Awww, c’mon. You’re not seriously going to let that get in the way, are you? You know my parents are liberal about these things! They’re not trying to get in the way of love, hun.’
‘Love?!’ I kinda blurted out the word, questioning how this crush between Seth and me had somehow escalated into love.
‘I dunno about that...’ I said, and as my words trailed off, I started wondering again about love, and thinking back to my break-up with Derek, which was not so very long ago.
‘Well, hun, whatever it is, I see a spark. And you’re awesome, and my bro is awesome, and I say go for it!’
I looked at Sophie beaming with honesty. I swear she doesn’t let anything get in her way. People can’t block her, and she never limits herself as to what she wants out of life. It’s astounding. As she smiled at me, I got up from my chair and leaned over to give her a hug.
‘You simply are the best, Sophie. Thank you so much!’
‘You’re the best. I’m stoked for you to be here. Now, what do you say we go for a surf?’
‘Yes!’
We gathered the whole gang and surfed for a while just out the front of the house. The waves were small and fun, and accommodated all of us: Peter, Abby, Seth, Kiko, Sophie and me. Kiko had improved a lot, I might add. The rest of the day was a mixture of hanging out, packing, organizing, figuring out logistics and more. Before I knew it, evening was upon us.
‘Ladies!’ Peter yelled from the upstairs deck. ‘Get your butts up here!’
Even though we’d had plenty of family dinners, this one felt surreal. Almost like a time warp. I thought back to that first dinner on the night I’d arrived. Man, it felt so long ago yet also like it was just yesterday. So much had happened in between. This time, though, Kiko was with us. I loved how much the Smarts had made her a part of the family already, just like they had with me.
‘Zoe! Stop spacing out! What are you doing over there?’
Dammit! S had caught me again. I snapped myself out of it, and realized I was standing just inside the sliding door, in a kind of a trance, while everyone else was milling around the kitchen.
‘Wowzers!’ I mumbled to myself as I walked further inside the house. ‘I was just admiring the scene!’
‘Get over here, sweetie,’ Abby said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me in to give me a hug. ‘We are going to miss you, Zoe!’
She had the calming scent of lavender on her. Mixed in with her sweetness, it was a soothing combination.
‘Yes, Zoe, you are always welcome here.’ It was Peter’s voice now, but I couldn’t see him because he was behind me, and I was sandwiched in their hugs.
A few moments later when Abby loosened her grip, I was able to have a nice conversation with both her and Peter, thanking them profusely for including me in th
eir family, and for supporting me, not just in allowing me to stay there, but by their words of wisdom, their kindness, and their ability to demonstrate what it means to care for family.
‘You both have taught me so much, and I hope one day to have the kind of relationship that you two seem to have. Plus, you’ve raised some pretty amazing kids, a bit crazy, mind you, but amazing just the same!’
We sat at the table. Now that S had her girlfriend by her side, I sat with Seth on the other, and the parents were placed at each end. Once we were all settled into our chairs, I raised my glass to make a toast.
‘To Abby, for helping me to eat better and breathe more deeply. To Peter, for demonstrating both strength and gentleness at the same time. To Seth, for teaching me to do what feels good. And of course, to Sophie, for always having my back and bringing laughter into everything. Kiko, thanks for teaching me tai chi, meditation – and for your all-round poise. Thank you, everyone, for being in my life at a time when I really needed you – albeit unknowingly. It’s been quite a journey these last few months, and you all helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I couldn’t see it for myself. I love you, and I’m going to miss you. But hey, just make sure my room is ready again at the end of the season, alright?’
‘You betcha!’ S said. ‘And I’d like to add to this little sentimental moment that it sure is going to be a bit more boring around the house without you to pick on, Zozo. I guess I’ll just have to start getting on Kiki here! Right Keeks?’
She was nudging Kiko with her arm, hamming things up as usual, to which we all raised our glasses and harmoniously rang out, ‘Cheers!’
The evening continued as such, with lots of yummy food and chit-chat, finishing off with a feisty game of ping-pong. I might as well add that there was some flirtation between Seth and me. It was a slight, almost shy flirtation, considering family was all around us, but sitting next to him at dinner allowed for the occasional shoulder brush, foot touch, flirtatious gaze, and giddiness.
After saying my goodbyes to Peter and Abby, who I probably wouldn’t see in the morning, the four of us went downstairs and hung out for a bit until Sophie had to drive Kiko home because she had to work early in the tai chi studio.
Surfer Girls Kick Ass Page 21
