Something Like Spring

by Jay Bell

  “Consulting work,” Marcello said, standing and brushing off his suit. “One hundred dollars per session. He’s already been paid in full.”

  Tim turned to Jason. “For real?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay.” Tim exhaled. “Forget his advice and you might come out of this encounter unscathed.”

  Marcello sniffed. “I feel like a criminal.”

  “And I bet part of you likes how that feels,” Tim said, offering him a hand. Once Marcello took it, Tim’s muscles flexed as the larger man was yanked toward him and trapped in a hug. Even after they separated, Tim kept an arm around his shoulders. “Did you tell Jason how you got a key to this house?”

  “Ah!” Marcello clapped his hands together. “I called a locksmith and claimed I’d slowly lost every key to my house. I asked if he could come and replace all the locks with new ones, which meant a lot of money for him, and really, who would request such a thing for a house that didn’t belong to them?”

  “You, apparently,” Tim said. “When Ben and I came home, our keys wouldn’t work anymore. Then the door swings open and Marcello presents us with a brand new set.”

  “Very generous of me, I thought,” Marcello said. “Now then, where’s that lovely boyfriend of yours?”

  “Downstairs,” Tim said. Guiding Marcello toward the door, he glanced over his shoulder. “You coming too?”

  “No,” Jason said. “I’ve got some things to take care of.”

  “Just remember,” Marcello called from the hall. “When you get to be my age, you’re either haunted by the things you should have done or nostalgic about the things you did do. Given enough time, right and wrong cease to have meaning.”

  “Don’t listen to a word he says!” Tim said, forcefully dragging Marcello down the hall.

  Jason smiled and turned to consider his guitar. Then, before he could overthink it, he swung out of bed, grabbed his phone, and called William.

  “Speak of the devil,” said the voice on the other end. “Give me a minute and I’ll call you back.”

  The line went dead. Jason sat on the edge of the mattress, then grabbed the bottle Marcello had left behind and took a hearty swig. The second his phone made a noise, Jason hit the answer button and held it to his ear.

  “I heard what happened,” William said. “At the group meeting. Bonnie told me first, and I’ve been hearing about it from Kelly ever since.”

  “Sorry,” Jason said. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “I know, and it’s not you who should be sorry.” William sighed. “Kelly wasn’t always like this, you know. Lately he’s been getting more and more bitter, but I guess I’m to blame. For all of this.”

  “What do you mean?” Jason asked.

  “Nothing,” William replied. Then he took a deep breath. “He doesn’t want me to see you anymore. At least not alone. He can’t stop you from coming to the group meetings, but no more swimming together.”

  Jason’s jaw clenched. Kelly had it all—William’s heart, affection, and years of history together, and that still wasn’t enough for him. He knew Jason had feelings for William and had to settle for friendship, and now Kelly was taking even that away. Fuck him! If he wanted a fight, then he better be ready for a long hard war, because Jason didn’t feel pathetic anymore. He felt angry.

  “I think we should keep seeing each other,” he said. “In fact, I want to see more of you.”

  “Jason,” William said, but there was a smile in that voice.

  “So I guess you’re the tie breaker. Kelly wants us to stop seeing each other. I want you to come to my house, meet my friends, and then go on a picnic with me. So you tell me what you want, and whatever it is, I’ll respect it. Just be honest with me, because I have no room for a liar in my life.”

  William chuckled before lapsing into thought. Jason listened intently to the silence, palms getting sweatier by the second. This was it, he promised himself. If William turned him down, Jason would move on. But if he accepted…

  “I do love a picnic,” William said. “When?”

  Jason exhaled in relief. “Right now?”

  William laughed like this was a joke. “How about Saturday? I’ll bike to your place as my morning exercise instead of swimming.”

  “We live outside of Austin,” he said warningly.

  “Sounds like a good workout. Text me your address. Right now, I have an argument I have to get back to, but uh… Swimming? Tomorrow morning?”

  Jason grinned into the phone, his muscles already aching at the prospect. “Absolutely!”

  * * * * *

  War was beautiful, and war was liberating, because it meant Jason didn’t have to hold back anymore. He complimented William whenever he felt like it, praising the way he swam, or smiling openly at his sparkling eyes when he heard all the ways Jason had gotten himself kicked out of foster homes. The worst-kept secret was out. Everyone knew how Jason felt, so he saw no sense in pretending otherwise. William was receptive to this, although at times he seemed puzzled, like it wasn’t deserved. Jason did his best to prove him wrong, holding back only when it came to the physical.

  They didn’t touch. No hugs hello and goodbye, not even a handshake. Any swimming tips were purely verbal now because the tension between them was palpable. If they touched, even once, somehow that would make it cheating. To be overly fond of another person was one thing, but to reveal that affection with the simplest caress… There was no turning back from that.

  William’s feelings—whatever they were—he kept under wraps, although he did make more of an effort to see Jason, mentioning his work schedule or more specifically when he took his lunch break, indirectly inviting Jason to join him. Which of course he did.

  William even showed up at Jason’s workplace. Friday afternoon, as Jason was organizing boxes of bird food, someone skidded to a halt at the end of the aisle. He smiled when he saw it was William, but the gesture wasn’t returned.

  “You work here, right?”

  “Yeah,” Jason said, catching on and conducting himself more professionally. “What can I help you with?”

  William rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I’m visiting a friend tomorrow and want to bring along a few housewarming presents.”

  “How very considerate of you,” Jason said. “And is this friend of yours a bird?”

  “Huh?” William glanced around the aisle. “Oh! I see. No, he’s human but crazy about animals, so I thought I’d bring something for his pets. Think he’d appreciate that?”

  “Sounds like a nice gesture,” Jason said. “What kind of animals are we talking about here? Snakes? A wombat? Or maybe a zebra?”

  “Nothing so exotic. Just a dog and a cat.”

  “Dogs and cats,” Jason said thoughtfully. “You know, I think we might have a few things for dogs and cats. Let’s go look together, shall we?”

  They dropped the act then, shopping for Chinchilla and Samson, but every time one of Jason’s colleagues came by, they pretended to be customer and sales person again. They were in this mode when William asked him another question.

  “The guy I’m visiting, what could I bring him? I want to make a good impression.”

  “You must like him quite a bit,” Jason said, trying to be silly.

  William nodded. “And I want him to know that.”

  “In that case,” Jason said, “I’d recommend diamonds.”

  “Diamonds?”

  “A bucket full should do.”

  William pulled a face. “Maybe I don’t like him that much after all.”

  Jason fought back a smile. “If this person likes you as much as you like him, I’m sure you being there is all that’s required.”

  “I hope you’re right,” William said, holding up the items they had picked out. “I don’t suppose you can ring me up?”

  Jason shook his head. “Sorry. One of my associates will have to take care of you.”

  “Okay,” William said. “Nice knowing you, helpful pet store employee.” />
  “The pleasure was all mine.”

  William walked backward down the aisle, smiling at him the whole way. Then he disappeared around the corner.

  Tomorrow. Everything hinged on tomorrow. Jason felt sure of it.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Jason stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror. Aside from the many times he ran downstairs to check on the picnic preparations, he had been here most of the morning, trying to find the perfect hairstyle to make him handsomer than he really was. He even tried slicking it back, hoping it would make him appear debonair. Instead, he looked like he needed a pocket protector and glasses held together by tape. Jason gave up, washed his hair again and was toweling it dry when Marcello strolled into the bathroom. Or at least his large figure blocked the doorway.

  “I didn’t hear the doorbell,” Jason said sarcastically.

  “I’ll be sure to ring it on my way out,” Marcello said. “I’ve brought you a present.”

  “More money?” Jason said hopefully.

  “Alas, no, but I do have something infinitely more valuable.”

  In the mirror’s reflection, Marcello held out a manila envelope. Jason let the towel rest on his shoulders and turned to take it.

  “What’s this?”

  “Information. Your William does indeed have a tragic past,” Marcello said. “All of his secrets—or at least a good number of them—are in there.”

  Jason stared down at the envelope, feeling like a snake had just offered him a juicy apple. “I didn’t ask you to do this,” he said, feeling defensive.

  Marcello held up his hands innocently. “Consider it repayment for your sage advice the other day. You’ve given me much to think about. Have you ever considered a career in consulting? You’d be surprised how rare an honest and unfiltered voice is.”

  “He’ll be here any minute,” Jason said, holding up the envelope.

  “How exciting! Do I get to meet him?”

  “No. Uh, do you think I should read this now?”

  “Understanding someone is part of loving them,” Marcello said with a devil’s smile. “Even if they don’t want to be understood.”

  “Right. Okay. Thanks.”

  Marcello retreated back down the hall, leaving Jason staring at the manila envelope. It looked so innocent, really. Just a plain rectangle of brownish paper. His fingers moved to the lip of the envelope, found it unsealed, and reached inside. He felt cheap paper, thin and disposable. A newspaper? Why would William be in a newspaper? For winning some swimming medals maybe, but Marcello had said his past was tragic. Jason pulled his fingers out like they’d been burned, opened a vanity drawer, and tossed the envelope inside before slamming it shut. He felt like opening it right back up again, but instead he went to find more clothes to wear.

  Any sort of dress shirt seemed too formal for a picnic, so Jason chose a comfortable navy blue T-shirt that he felt complimented his skin tone and went with the white shorts he already had on. He was wondering if he looked too much like a sailor when the doorbell rang. Jason practically flew to answer it, his feet only touching three steps on the way down. He paused briefly in the living room, where Ben, Tim, and Marcello were not-so-casually loitering.

  He rolled his eyes at them before the bell rang again. He opened the door to find William covered in sweat, tank top sticking to his heaving chest. Jason felt pulled by sheer attraction onto the front porch, closing the door behind him for privacy.

  “You weren’t kidding about living far away,” William panted, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Great workout, but I can’t meet your family like this.”

  “My friends,” Jason corrected, “and they won’t care.”

  “I have a spare outfit with me.” William unslung his backpack. “Maybe I could take a shower?”

  “I can’t sneak you past them,” Jason said. “They’re all in the living room, desperate to meet you.”

  “Oh.” William’s face lit up. “Is there a faucet out here? I could hose off real quick. I’d rather meet them soaked in water than in sweat.”

  Jason stared. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah!”

  “Okay. We’ll have to go around back.”

  That’s exactly what they did. Jason could imagine Ben and the others, creeping to the front window for a peek and discovering nothing there except William’s bike. The backyard was abandoned, Chinchilla napping inside to avoid the warm weather.

  “Perfect!” William said, spotting the hose.

  He stripped off his shirt, and although Jason had seen him in nothing but a swimsuit, he still felt an extra thrill at the way his pale skin glowed in the sunlight. The nylon shorts remained, sadly, as William motioned for Jason to turn on the hose. He did so, stepping back and admiring the view as William took an impromptu shower. He was grinning at Jason and blasting water under his pits when the back door opened and a jumble of gay men stumbled out.

  Ben smiled, covering his mouth. Tim looked a little envious, and Marcello began to flail. Jason didn’t understand why until he started shouting.

  “Oh my goodness! Apollo has descended and here I am without my camera! This is exactly the sort of scene you can’t fake!”

  William spun around, looking bashful, before tossing aside the hose and holding out his hand. Ben was the first to step forward, introducing himself and laughing when their gripped hands made a squelching noise. Tim already knew him, of course, which left only Marcello.

  “What a delightful way to make a first impression!” he raved. “The next time I meet a boy’s family, I shall do exactly the same thing.”

  “I’m so embarrassed,” William said, but he didn’t need to, since the blush on his face was threatening to spread to the rest of his body.

  Ben noticed this and ushered the others inside so Jason and William could be alone again. Once they were, William dug in his backpack, pulling out a shirt that he put on, this one white with navy lettering. Jason took this as a cosmic sign that they were meant to be together.

  “I don’t suppose we can make a run for it?” William said. “That was beyond humiliating.”

  “You compete wearing less than that,” Jason pointed out. “If anything, you were over-dressed. Come inside and meet everyone properly.”

  This time things went smoother. William presented Chinchilla with a Kong, which was a big hit, and Samson came out of hiding when the container of catnip was opened. After some small talk, William excused himself to finish getting refreshed, and Ben helped Jason pack all of their picnic items.

  “He’s a hottie,” Ben said, loading a backpack with potato salad, chips, and a few bottles of water. “I can see why you’ve been so motivated.”

  Jason grinned. “That’s one way of putting it, but it’s more than just his looks. He’s kind of goofy. I mean, who thinks hosing off is a good idea? But I like that about him. William showed up at the pool one time wearing those inflatable armbands for kids and kept them on the whole hour, like it was completely normal. It’s wild. He has his whole future planned out, but he can still act completely child-like.”

  “I can see the appeal of that,” Ben said carefully.

  Somehow, Jason didn’t think he was referring to Tim.

  He could hear William in the living room chatting with Marcello, which made him tense. Maybe because Marcello knew things about William that the rest of them didn’t. Jason thanked Ben, grabbed the backpack, and asked William to join him outside. Tim had already rolled his bike out of the garage, loaning Jason wheels yet again, so they were ready to go.

  The route to St. Edwards Park wasn’t long, and they took it at a leisurely pace. William kept pulling up alongside Jason and pestering him about the contents of the backpack.

  “What’s in there? Some kind of salad?”

  “Maybe,” Jason replied.

  “Tuna salad?”

  “Nope.”

  “Hmmm. Egg salad?”

  “Uh-uh.”

  “Must be potato salad,” William said
with a grin. “Did you make it yourself?”

  “Depends on if you like it or not,” Jason said. “If you do, then I made it.”

  “Is that a lie?” William asked, but he shot Jason a wink.

  “Oh yeah, honesty,” Jason said. “In that case, even if you don’t like it, I still made it.”

  “Lucky for you I’m starving.”

  William spotted the park entrance and pedaled ahead. Jason had expected mowed lawns, playgrounds, a man-made lake, and maybe a patch of sand with a volleyball net. Instead he saw a dingy parking lot, a trail map carved and painted into a wooden sign, and an overflowing trashcan. That was all.

  “This is excellent!” William said, and not sarcastically. He pulled his bike up to the trail map and studied it. “Let’s find somewhere along the water to picnic.”

  “Lead the way,” Jason said. They remained on their bikes, heading south. Once they were away from the parking lot, the environment improved considerably. They passed thick clusters of trees, leaves still waxy and fresh from spring’s renewal. Then came grassy fields that Jason thought perfect for a picnic, but William didn’t stop there. When he saw the water, he was glad they had ventured farther. The map had promised them a simple creek, one that widened temporarily in the middle, but it was surprisingly scenic. And more comfortable. Here the air was damp and cool, countering the day’s heat. The path soon petered out, forcing them to walk along the water while pushing their bikes.

  “Looks like a dam up ahead,” William said. “A nice little waterfall too. We better not get too close or our voices will be drowned out by the roar.”

  He was kidding, since the water spilling over a rocky shelf was too tame to be loud, but it was pretty enough to look at. They chose this spot despite the hard ground, but the blankets Ben had packed would help.

  “I’ve got one too,” William said, opening his backpack. “We can double up.”

  They kept shooting glances at each other as they set up the picnic. Jason fantasized for a moment that they were making a bed together after having slept in each other’s arms. The idea of something so simple, so domestic, made his chest ache. To share a bed with someone. Not in the sexual way, but to own it together, to lie down next to someone, night after night.