by Sienna Parks
“This better be fucking important, Carter.” I guide him away from Lily, letting her exit without having to face him.
“Natalie is here. She knows you’re here, man. I told her to wait downstairs, but you better go deal with her before she ruins your girl’s night.” What the fuck is she playing at?
“Thanks, man. I’ll deal with it.” He comes downstairs with me. I think he’s worried I’m going to cause a scene in here, but when he realizes that I’m not going to explode, he leaves me to get rid of her.
“What are you doing here, Natalie?” She’s looking at me as if she’s surprised I’m not happy to see her. This girl is fucking delusional.
“I wanted to see you.” If she doesn’t stop running her hands up and down my arms I’m going to turn into the fucking Hulk in a minute. I’ve had enough of this.
“Natalie. I said I’d help you with Tim. That does NOT mean I want to spend any time with you, or that I remotely like you, or that I’ve forgiven you for fucking me over.” Her face drops. “You need to stay the fuck away from me, do you understand? I’ll stop helping you if you start interfering in my life. I’ve moved on, and I’m actually happy - I’m fucking ecstatic, so do yourself a favor and go… NOW!” She turns on her heels, making a quick exit with her tail between her legs, and her pitchfork up her ass.
When I went back to find Lily that night she had disappeared into the toilets and we had a massive fight. I still didn’t fess up.
The day before London I took a call from Natalie in hysterics while I was at my parents’ house with Lily. She told me Tim had been violent and she had evidence to prove it. I agreed to meet her later that night hoping to put an end to my dealings with her for good. Of course, it was a setup.
“Thank God you’re here, Xander.” Tears are streaming down her cheeks.
“I was so frightened. I thought he was going to kill me.” We’re standing outside of her building; she’s shaking in my arms.
“It’s okay, Nat, I’m here; I won’t let him hurt you anymore. That son of a bitch is going to jail.”
She calms in my arms as I attempt to soothe her with words of comfort. When she stops crying, I pull her from my body to look at her and see if she needs medical attention. Who hits a fucking woman? What a dick.
I look her up and down but see no visible evidence of injury, and while I’m distracted she makes her move. Her lips are on mine; her hands fisting in my hair. “I’ve missed you so much. I knew you still loved me.”
I instantly push her away. All of the pieces falling into place as I realize just what a fool I’ve been. “You fucking bitch. It’s all lies, isn’t it? Tim never fucking touched you, DID HE?” Chilling rage sends vibrations coursing through my entire body. I'm trying to calm myself, but it's pretty fucking difficult. “This was all just another one of your sick fucked up games. I almost lost Lily because of you. Don’t ever contact me again, Natalie, or I WILL make you regret it. Do you understand?” She just stands there in silence.
“DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME?”
She nods, but the look on her face is spiteful, evil, and just fucking twisted. I can’t believe I ever had feelings for her.
That was the end of it. I stormed off and went to my offices for a couple of hours to get my anger under control. I didn’t want to go home to Lily with all that shit going on in my brain. I needed some time to clear my head and calm down before I went back to her. I felt fucking dirty after Natalie’s lips were on me.
When I finally got home, Lily was awake. I had to take a shower before I could touch her. I didn’t want to taint her with anything of Natalie. I felt guilty as fuck when I got into bed and she asked me to kiss her, but I couldn’t help myself; I made love to her with an intensity and passion that consumed me.
Now, because of all that shit, I might never see her again. I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.
****
I’m so fucking miserable sitting around this place on my own. Everything reminds me of Lily. I can still smell her on my bedding, and I’m on the verge of insanity when my phone rings. It’s too late for a work call so I spring to my feet to grab the phone from the nightstand hoping that it’s her calling. Surely my letters are getting through to her by now.
It’s Addi.
“Hi. What’s up?”
There's an uncomfortable pause before she speaks. “Is Lily with you?” What?
“No. I haven’t seen her since Friday night when I dropped her off. She won’t talk to me.”
“Shit…” A chill runs through my body at the panic in her voice.
“What’s wrong, Addi? Tell me now.”
“The apartment is a mess. There’s blood on the floor, tables are broken… knocked over… and there’s no sign of Lily.” I can’t fucking breathe right now.
“I called her mom and she hasn’t heard from her since before you went to London. Xander… did she tell you about Ron Peterson?”
“No. What the hell is going on? Who the fuck is Ron Peterson?”
“He’s the man that attacked her and killed her dad.” Her words are frantic, filled with terror as she continues. “He escaped from prison the day before you guys left for London. They haven’t caught him yet. Oh God, what if he’s done something really bad… what if he’s… I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do. Please, help me… we need to help her… we have to find her before…” She breaks down, her words lost among the grief-stricken sobs tearing from her chest, ripping her heart out as she contemplates what might have happened to her best friend.
“Holy Fuck! I’ve been feeling sorry for myself thinking she was ignoring me for three days, and all this time she’s needed my help. I’m going to make it right, Addi. I’m going to find her and bring her home.” She’s inconsolable. I can’t believe this is happening. Why didn’t she tell me? I would have had security posted at her building. “I need to get off the phone. I’ll be in touch. Did she take her phone?” Please God, let her have it. I can track her easily if it’s with her.
“It’s here – shattered in pieces on the floor. How are we going to find her?”
“Stay there in case he calls wanting money or something. Call the police and let them know what’s going on. I’m going to call my investigator and I will find her. It’s going to be okay. Just try to stay calm so you can give the police as much information as possible. I’ll call as soon as I know anything.” I need for this to be okay; I need for Lily to be safe - I can’t contemplate any other outcome.
I immediately call my P.I, Scott, to gather every shred of information on Ron Peterson, in hopes of finding something… anything that the police could have missed in their attempts to find him. David is by my side, organizing for us to hit the road as soon as we have a lead. I’m pacing my office like a fucking caged animal. I feel like my guts have been ripped out, like my heart is being destroyed with every moment that passes. I need for the fucking phone to ring. I need to be doing something to get her back.
It’s three hours before Scott calls back. The longest three hours of my life.
“Please, tell me you’ve got something. Anything.”
“Yes, sir, I believe I do. Mr. Peterson was in frequent contact with an ex-cellmate in the week leading up to his escape. I believe he helped him to escape the prison and flee undetected.”
“Okay. What else do we know?” Please, something that will lead me to her.
“The cellmate, Adam Walters, bought a blue Ford Mustang on the black market three days before Peterson escaped and the vehicle in question is no longer in his possession. I called in some favors and a friend of mine paid a visit to Mr. Walters. After applying… pressure, he admitted that he gave the vehicle to Peterson. They got the license plates and I’ve managed to trace its whereabouts. Dumb fuck didn't know it had a tracker installed - made my job too easy. I have a location for you, sir.” Thank fuck.
“Excellent, Scott. Give me the address.”
“It’s off I-90. Secluded spot - doesn’
t seem to be close to any commercial buildings. I can give you exact coordinates. Do you have a pen?”
“Yes.” I take down the details and hang up as quickly as possible to punch the coordinates into my phone.
“Come on, David. I know where she is.” I’m praying that I’m not too late.
As we make our way down to the car, I call Addi and tell her where I’m heading. I’m taking the Ferrari – it will get me to her quicker and I need to be driving. I can’t sit back any longer without actively doing something to help her. David is coming with me. We’re both armed - ready for whatever we’re about to walk into.
I speed through the city, running lights, weaving in and out of traffic trying to get off this damn island. Minutes feel like days – my mind racing, terrified of what I might find. I’m going to fucking kill him when I get my hands on him.
As we weave in and out of traffic on the interstate, my heart is hammering in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins like molten lava, preparing me, to take back what’s mine.
As the highway fades from sight and the street lamps become sparse, David tells me what roads to take, edging closer to Lily by the mile.
“It should be up here on the right, Mr. Rhodes.”
There is no evidence of life on this road. No homes, barns, outhouses, or even street signs. It’s so dark, I’m scared I’ll miss something that will lead me to her.
As I take a sharp corner, my high beams flash into the trees…
My heart jumps out of my chest. Dread seeping into every fiber of my being. I swerve to the side of the road, positioning my headlights to better see what’s in front of me. I hope I’m wrong.
“The license plate is a match, sir. I’ll call 911 immediately.”
A blue Ford Mustang lays crumpled on the forest floor. The front end completely unrecognizable, the doors crushed in on themselves. The horn is sounding continuously, and the trunk of the car is open – a shovel, saw, and plastic sheeting spilling out onto the ground. The car sits on it’s roof… there’s no sign of movement. No screams for help. No chance of survival.
I throw open the door and scramble from my car, my limbs fighting against me – terrified of what I’ll find. “Lily!”
David comes running behind me, grabbing my arm. “Sir – I don’t think you want to see this. Let me do it.”
I struggle out of his vice-like grip. “I have to, David. She’s… my life.”
As I get closer to the carnage, my mouth fills with the salty taste that inevitably precedes vomit. The passenger’s side comes into view and there, broken and bloodstained, is the love of my life – lifeless.
I drop to the mud, reaching tentatively through the broken window, sweeping her red-soaked golden hair aside to check for a pulse.
It’s weak… but it’s there. “Lily, baby. Can you hear me? It’s Xander. I’m going to get you out of here.”
I turn to David, screaming at him. “Get me a knife. I need to cut her out of the seatbelt. She’s alive!”
“We need to wait for the ambulance. You don’t want to risk paralysis if we move her.” He sounds so calm and cold.
“Fuck that. I need to get her out… now.”
I hear a groan from within the car, but it doesn’t come from Lily. She’s still unconscious. “Stupid cunt deserves it.”
I see red – bloody, murderous, all-consuming rage. “I will fucking kill you!!”
“David, stay with Lily.”
I jump up, wading through the dirt to the other side of the car, his evil gaze coming into view. “What are you going to do, pretty boy? Kill me?” He cackles. “You don’t have it in you. Besides, it won’t change anything. She’s as good as dead.”
I reach inside and punch him as hard as I can, his screams of pain echoing out into the dark of night. “Don’t you fucking mention her.”
He laughs, blood audibly gurgling in his throat. His legs are crushed under the steering wheel. He has one arm that’s still moving, but he can’t reach me, and more importantly, he can’t touch Lily.
“Sir, the ambulance will be here in five minutes. Come and be by Miss Tate’s side. She needs you.” David’s right. I shouldn’t be wasting my breath on this guy when Lily is struggling for every breath she takes. I rush to her side, my concern growing with the smell of gasoline permeating the ground around us.
“We need to get her out… now. There’s a gas leak. Help me.”
David runs over, grabbing a knife from a holder on his ankle. I hold Lily as still as I possibly can while he cuts through the tough material of her seatbelt. Her wrists are bound with tape, bloody and bruised. When he manages to slice through the final threads, her entire body slumps down into my arms. I can’t breathe. She’s lifeless. As I carefully move to lift her from the car, I see the barrel of the gun, pointing at Lily’s back.
“You think I’m going to let you take your whore? She has to pay for what she took from me.”
I spin to shield Lily from his aim. “David, take her!”
As her limp frame is lifted from my arms, the gun is turned on me. “Well, if I can’t have her, neither can you.”
David’s voice pierces through the darkness. “Xander – your foot.” My eyes dart down to see a lighter. He must have left it there when he took Lily from me.
The next few moments move as if in slow motion. I sweep the lighter from the grass, my gaze fixed on Ron Peterson. “Say goodbye, pretty boy.” It takes less than the beat of a heart to pull the trigger, but my heart beats only for Lily, and I won’t leave her alone.
I flick the lighter and throw it into the car before running for cover. Within seconds the car explodes, bursting into flames as it takes the man who killed Lily’s dad to hell on a one-way ticket.
Sirens ring out in the distance – the only hope I have of saving my girl before it’s too late.
LILY
I don’t know how long I’ve been here… in this living hell. Every bone in my body aches, and every inch of my flesh is agony to the touch. I’m pretty sure my right arm is broken and several of my ribs. The last thing I remember was swerving the car off the road.
I blacked out when Peterson hit me with the butt of his gun outside my building, then the next thing I know, I’m waking up on a dark road in the middle of nowhere. I pretended to still be out for another hour, trying to find the courage to take him down – and in doing so – myself. He was so focused on whatever redneck song was on the radio, he didn’t see me coming. With every fiber of my being screaming for relief, I lunged over and spun the wheel, sending us into a tailspin. When we collided with the barrier at the side of the road, the car flipped. The sound was deafening - the world around us seeming to defy gravity. As we crashed to the ground, a shudder of agony rippled through my body, as if I were being flattened by the force surrounding me.
After that, everything became hazy - short pockets of lucidity, followed by a dreamlike state, and a deep sleep. It took Peterson at least twelve hours to wake up. That’s when the real torture began. He replayed in great detail, over and over, the satisfaction he derived from thrusting that blade into my dad’s stomach - evil words; vile and disgusting thoughts. He enjoyed every minute of it. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, he made the wrong choice in desperation, and that he was paying for it in prison – that maybe he still had a shred of humanity. But he doesn’t. He’s sick and twisted, and I’m going to take my last breath trapped in this car wreck with him. As I drift back into the darkness, I take comfort in the knowledge that I’ve saved Xander and Addi from this monster. I only wish I could let them know - that I could let Xander know that it’s okay, that I died content – knowing that I experienced real, honest, uninhibited love.
****
“When is she going to wake up?” I’m alive...
“Will there be any permanent damage? Is she paralyzed?” Xander...
“I’m here with you. Come back to me, sweets.” I’m here…
“Addi is bringing you some home comforts for
when you wake up. Knowing her she’ll bring a pair of Jimmy Choos, a ridiculously inappropriate outfit, and a manicure set.” Addi…
“You need to wake up, baby. Addi is driving me nuts. She loves you so much, though; I can’t help but have a soft spot for her.” Why can’t I open my eyes?
“I’m so in love with you, Lily. I’m lost without you. I need you to wake up. I need you to save me.”
He sounds so desolate, so alone. All I want to do is reach out and touch his face, soothe his worries, but my body won’t listen to my commands. I can feel the warmth of his hand in mine, but I can’t seem to give him a sign that I’m here and I’m listening. A twitch, anything, I’ll take it.
“Shouldn’t she have woken up by now? Surely there is something you can do.” How long have I been out?
I hear the doctors coming in and out, my mom and sisters, and Addi - but the constant is Xander. He’s always here, next to me, telling me he loves me, reading from my favorite books, and playing music from his iPod.
I hear Maroon 5 – Won’t Go Home Without You. All I can do is focus on the lyrics, pulling at my heart, making me even more desperate to wake up, not just for me - for him. He’s hurting and I can’t stand it.
I need to open my eyes, dammit. I need to get back to him. Move, dammit!
“Oh my God. She just squeezed my hand. Lily… can you hear me?” I just squeezed his hand! I can do this. It takes all of my strength just to open my eyes - blurry at first, a haze of colors and lights in an unfamiliar room. Xander’s hands are in my hair, his soft lips pressing against my forehead. Everything slowly comes into focus - every stunning line of his face. He looks weary, his eyes glazed with tears, but he is still the most beautiful sight in the world to me.
“Xander.” My voice is a husky whisper.
“I’m here, sweets.” The love in his eyes is overwhelming.
“I love you. I’m so sorry.” I break down, tears spilling from my eyes. If only I’d listened to him that night, we might have avoided this.
