by Sienna Parks
“Don’t ever apologize. You did nothing wrong. This was not your fault.” He runs his thumb over my bottom lip before tentatively touching his lips to mine. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m never going to let you go.”
“Sounds good to me.”
A light, relieved chuckle escapes him, his breath caressing my face, a sweet smell of mint and Xander tickling my senses. “I better go call your family and Addi - let them know you’re awake.” Panic rises in my chest. I grab his arm in desperation, every muscle screaming in agony.
“Please, don’t leave me.”
A tortured look crosses his face. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll press the call button for the nurse and I can let everyone else know from here.” I let out a shaky breath, scared by my reaction to being on my own.
When the nurse comes in to check on me, I notice her frequent glances in Xander’s direction.
“Welcome back, Lily. You gave us quite the scare. You have a wonderful man here. He hasn’t left your side since you came in. We’ve had to bring him food from the cafeteria so he wouldn’t waste away.” I thought I couldn’t love him more, but the swell in my chest at her words and the shy look on his face, tells me I was wrong.
“How long was I out?” It must have been a day or two. Xander seemed pretty relieved when I woke up.
“It’s been ten days.” TEN DAYS! What the hell happened?
“You had some major injuries, Miss Tate. You are very lucky that Xander found you when he did. Any longer and you wouldn’t be here talking to us now.”
“You saved my life.” His face is pained as he looks up into my eyes. The nurse leaves us, reminding me I need to rest on her way out the door.
“What’s wrong? You saved me.”
His head drops into his hands, his body slumped in despair. “I should have gotten to you sooner. Fuck… I should have known you wouldn’t just ignore me. I should never have lied to you. If I had just been honest from the start, I would have been with you. I would have been able to protect you. I was almost too late.”
I reach for his hand. “He waited for you to leave. He told me he had been watching the apartment, waiting until you and Addi were gone. He would have gotten to me no matter what. The important thing is that you did find me, and you saved my life. I can never repay you for that.” He rests his forehead on our tangled hands.
“I have never been so terrified. I thought I was too late. You were so broken… my heart stopped beating. I thought I was too late. I thought you were…” He can’t even say the words - anguish and turmoil evident in his voice. I can’t imagine what the past ten days have been like for him.
“I’m back now, and nothing is going to come between us again.”
“Lily, I killed him. I took his life. He was going to shoot you. He was going to shoot me. But it doesn’t change the fact that I knowingly caused his death. I threw a lighter into the car, and walked away as it burst into flames, taking him with it. How can you ever look at me the same way?”
I can see how much he’s been struggling with this, his heart heaving with the decision he was forced to make. “You saved my life, and your own. I will never look at you with anything but reverence and respect. You stood up and fought for me, for us. You did exactly what my dad did except this time, the right person prevailed. I love you, and I can never thank you enough for giving me a chance to live - to come back to you. To tell you how much I love you.”
I suddenly feel exhausted, my eyes heavy – too heavy to keep open. The darkness takes me, but I don’t feel scared, Xander is here…
****
When I wake up, I’m surrounded by family and friends. My mom and sisters are here, so is Addi and I can see Jason in the corner. Where is Xander? Addi immediately registers the panic on my face. “He’s just gone to grab a shower and some fresh clothes. He’ll be back any minute.” She moves to sit in the chair next to my bed. “Lilliput. You scared the shit out of me. I’m so happy to see you, friend.” She leans in to give me a tentative hug, careful not to hurt me.
“I’m glad to see you, too, Addi. I love you.” She can’t hold back her tears any longer, burying her head in my neck.
“I love you, too. You’re my family. I don’t know what I would do without you.” We spend long minutes wrapped in each other’s arms, crying like idiots by the time my mom interjects.
“Right, you two. This is supposed to be a happy moment. Don’t start me off, too.” Addi makes space for her.
“Hi, Mom.” That’s all it takes for the floodgates to open and the sobs to flow, rolling in waves, racking my mom’s chest.
“Baby girl. I love you so much, darling. I was scared I would never see you again. Your strength and will to survive is awe-inspiring, Lily. I’m so glad I’ve got a second chance to be a better mom for you. You are everything to me, and I promise to show you every day just how precious you are.” She kisses my cheek, crushing me a little too tight, but I don’t complain. The pain is worth it to feel so completely cherished.
My sisters are a mess of snot and tears as they welcome me back to the land of the living - gushing about making time to visit me more often. I doubt it will actually happen, but I love that they want to try.
Jason gives me a soft cuddle, telling me how glad he is that I’m okay and how worried they all were. I lose track of what he’s saying when I sense him in the doorway - my eyes instantly drawn to where I can feel his presence – it’s magnetic.
Xander is leaning against the doorframe, his corded arms crossed over his chest, his long lithe legs crossed at the ankle. He is the picture of heaven. A dazzling grin spreads across his handsome, chiseled features, and we just stare at each other, relishing our intense connection. Everyone else in the room fades into the background, their words a dull hum in the distance.
He strides toward me, never taking his eyes off me. The emotion welling in my chest is a palpable knot of love and adoration. His proximity makes my head spin. As he touches his lips to mine, something ignites inside me. It’s not lust, my body is too sore for that – It’s something much stronger - a melding of two souls. Xander becomes a part of me in this moment – the last piece of the puzzle that I need to feel complete. A piece I know I could never live without.
I don’t notice everyone else slip out of the room, leaving us in our own little bubble, caressing our lips and tongues together in a dance that belongs only to us. It could be minutes, it could be hours; all I know for sure is that it isn’t long enough.
“Hi… my sweet Lily.” God, I love his voice. It envelops me in a warm hug, soothing me with its low sexy rasp.
We spend the next few hours wrapped up in each other. Relishing every touch, every kiss, and every word spoken between us. He had them bring in a cot while I was asleep so that he could stay with me at all times. Now that I’m awake, he insists that he’s still going to stay, unwilling to let me out of his sight. I don’t put up a fight; I want him here with me.
I spend another week in the hospital before the doctors even consider letting me go home. Xander has been by my side the entire time, drawing funny little doodles on my arm cast. It’s covered in little love hearts and his version of the London sights. I’ve found something he doesn’t excel at! A dog could draw a better picture than him and I find it completely adorable.
I’m slowly but surely getting back on my feet, my bruises are fading, and my aches and pains are getting less every day. I have four broken ribs, so they are going to take longer to heal, but I’m lucky they didn’t puncture my lung. I won’t be getting my cast off for at least three weeks, maybe four, but I’m hoping to get home long before then.
Addi contacted T Magazine and let them know I’m out of commission for a while. They offered to keep my job for a while at least, which is more than I could have hoped for.
The doctor comes in to see me and it appears that he and Xander have become like old friends!
“Well, Miss Tate. If you promise to take it easy, and you have someone to take c
are of you, I think we can let you go home today. You’ll need to come back to get the cast removed, but other than that, lots of bed rest, no heavy lifting and no sex until your ribs heal.”
The look on Xander’s face makes me laugh which is not a good thing when you have four broken ribs. He turns to the doctor with a serious look on his face.
“You’re killing me here, doc.” He winks in my direction. “Can I take my girl home now?”
“As soon as the discharge papers are signed, yes. Make sure you look after her.”
Xander glances at me with a gentle smile.
“I plan to, doc… I plan to.”
He leaves us to get organized, and after Xander helps me dress I need to rest for a minute. Who knew it could be so tiring putting on yoga pants and a hoodie? He sits on the bed beside me, a nervous look on his face.
“Lily. I need to talk to you about something before we leave.” That sounds ominous.
“I want to take care of you, and I can’t bear the thought of being away from you. I was hoping that you would consider moving into my apartment. I can help you recover, and then, when you feel better, you can redecorate the whole place. I just want to be with you. I love you. You are a part of me - the part I can’t be without. Please, say yes.”
I’m shocked by his declaration. We’ve not been together that long, and I would really miss living with Addi, but everything inside me is desperate to say yes. I don’t want to spend another night of my life not being in his arms, cocooned in the warmth of his love and affection.
Without any further thought, the words trip off my tongue. “Yes, Xander. Of course I’ll move in with you.” His eyes are ablaze with fire and desire, but he controls his touch as he claims my mouth, his tongue dipping in to gently caress and explore, conquer and worship.
With the discharge papers signed, Xander wheels me out to the front of the hospital - the fresh air filling my lungs, cleansing my soul. David is waiting on the sidewalk with the door to the SUV open wide and a grin on his face. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him smile. He’s quite handsome, actually.
“It’s a pleasure to see you up and about, Miss Tate.” My gratitude takes over and I pull him into a firm hug.
“Thank you for what you did, David.” He gives me an embarrassed half-grin before handing me back to Xander.
“All part of the job, Miss Tate.” Xander lifts me carefully into the car.
“I can’t wait to get you home. To our home.”
I remember the mess at my apartment that day. “What about my apartment? Addi?”
“She stayed with her parents for a few days while I got extra security measures fitted at your apartment, and had the place cleaned and restored to its former glory. She’s fine, and eager to come visit you in your new home. I asked her permission to steal you away. I told her to let you rest – the journey home will be enough excitement for one day. She’s going to come by tomorrow to check up on you.”
Knowing that everyone is safe and sound, I drift off, tucked into Xander’s lap as we make our way back to our house.
He’s my home now.
I’m so exhausted from the journey home that I only wake long enough for Xander to lift me into his arms. I don’t remember anything after the ping of the elevator doors opening in the lobby.
I wake up in Xander’s bed; I guess it’s my bed now, too - happy to be surrounded by his intoxicating scent. It’s ingrained in his sheets and gives me so much comfort snuggling further into the covers, cuddling his pillow to my chest. I take a deep, painful breath before settling back down to sleep for another hour or so.
When I finally come round properly, he’s lying next to me on his side, staring at me.
“Hey, sweets. How are you feeling?” The adoration in his eyes melts my heart.
“Much better now that I’m home with you.” He gently runs the back of his hand down my cheek with a smile of true contentment.
“I can see that. Sleeping in our bed must be a good thing, you’ve been asleep since yesterday afternoon.” I can believe it – I feel so much better than I did in the hospital. “It’s given me the opportunity to look at your beautiful face, back where you’re supposed to be. With me.” A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth at his sweet words. He leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. “Lily…” He chokes up, choosing his words carefully. “I thought we might never have this again. I’ve never been so scared in all my life.” I cup his scruff covered cheek in my good hand.
“I know. I thought the same thing. I was so scared I wouldn’t get the chance to tell you that I believe you about everything that happened with Natalie.” It’s the first time she’s been mentioned since we came back from London.
While I was in the hospital I didn’t care about what happened. I just wanted to be with Xander. Happy to be alive and happy to have the chance to tell him how much I love him. She seems so insignificant now. He came for me, he saved my life, he stayed by my side – he gave me the will to wake up. When I look into his eyes, I see sadness at the mention of her name.
“I am so sorry for everything with Natalie. Can I tell you what happened? I don’t want there to be anymore secrets between us…” I nod, feeling slightly anxious about what he’s going to say.
He explains the whole upsetting situation, from his first contact with Natalie in the Hamptons to the point when we were standing in my apartment with the photos she sent. I thought I would be annoyed or upset knowing that he lied to me; but what I feel for him in this moment is… pride. She broke his heart and his trust less than a year ago, and yet he managed to find compassion in his heart for her. He’s a good man, with a beautiful heart and he couldn’t stand to see any woman being abused by a man. I can’t be upset that he fell for her lies. If he hadn’t tried to help her, he wouldn’t be the Xander that I know and love with all my heart.
He mistakes my silence for anger.
“I’m so sorry, baby. Can you forgive me?” I lean in, giving him a tender kiss, filled with all the love I feel for him. His hand moves into my hair, holding me in place as his tongue performs an enchanting waltz with mine. Our souls entwined in a single kiss. I pull back just far enough to gaze at him as I speak.
“I forgive you for lying to me. As for what happened – it makes me love you even more, if that’s possible.” He looks puzzled. “You are such an amazing man - strong, confident, and commanding; but at the same time, you have an unparalleled capacity for love and compassion and a tenderness that soothes my soul.” A whisper of a smile creeps onto the corners of his mouth. “The fact that you were able to put aside the hurt she caused you, and help her because you thought she was in trouble is… admirable. Not many people would do that. You’re special, and I’m so thankful that we’ve got another chance together.”
He cuddles me down onto his chest as he moves onto his back, our limbs tangling into what seems to have become our ‘position.’ I’ve missed this so much.
“You’re the amazing one. I love you so much. I’m in awe of your strength, sweets.”
I don’t know why I want to know, but I ask the question anyway. “Have you spoken to her since the photo incident?”
He hugs me a little closer. “No.” His voice is cold; angry. “I couldn’t stand the thought of it. I was focused on getting you back, because you’re the only thing that matters, Lily. Now that you’re home, trust me, I’ll be dealing with her for what she did to us.”
I attempt to soothe his agitation, rubbing my hand over his toned chest. Not easy with my arm in a cast, but oh my God, he feels good.
“I don’t want you to do anything. You’re better than that. We’re better than that. We’re together and happy and she will never have that, because she’s obviously incapable of real love. Enough of our time has been wasted by other people. I’m sure she’ll get what’s coming to her. Karma’s a bitch, especially when you are one.”
He lets out a shaky breath. “I’ll leave it – only because you’re asking me to. Y
ou’ve been through enough. But if she so much as breathes in our direction again, I’ll make her pay for it. Understood?”
“One more breath, and she’s toast.” I manage a smile out of him. We lie in each other’s arms for a while before Xander brings up the other elephant in the room.
“You know you can talk to me about what happened with Peterson don’t you?” A chill runs through me at the mere mention of his name.
“I know. I’m just not ready to talk about it yet. I hope that’s okay.” He kisses my forehead as he brushes the hair back from my face.
“I understand. I just want you to know that I’m here when you’re ready. You’re not alone.” Those last words are more of a comfort to me than he could ever know – I’m not alone.
Xander gives me permission to come downstairs for brunch before I’m confined back to my bed. He’s taking doctor’s orders very seriously! It’s great to be out of bed for an hour, but I’m pretty tired out by the time he lifts me back to our room. I need to sleep for a couple of hours before Addi arrives.
****
I wake up to the sound of Addi and Xander talking, their voices getting closer to our room. I can hear her concern as she grills him about how I’m doing, and if I’m coping. He reassures her that he’s taking good care of me, as they appear in the doorway.
He helps me to sit up, positioning my pillows so that my ribs aren’t too sore, my broken arm is propped on yet more cushions. He kisses my forehead before leaving us to catch up.
“I’ll be in my study if you need anything. Just shout or call me.” I can’t help watching his sexy gait as he leaves the room.
Addi sniggers at my obvious ogling! “I see your injuries haven’t calmed your new raging libido, Lilliput.” I laugh but immediately hold my ribs. No more laughing for me.
“Don’t make me laugh, Addi. It hurts.” She looks apologetic, but continues to snort so I’m thinking she’s not that sorry! She envelops me in a tight but gentle cuddle, careful not to hurt me.
