Enough

by Pacheco, Briana

  I shut the door behind me and turned on the hallway light. I fixed up the house every time I came up here. The hallway has photos of the family. Down to the right is where the house spreads open into the kitchen, living room and the stairs to go upstairs. To the left of the hallway was the bathroom, office space and an empty room.

  I carefully checked everything. Nothing looked touched.

  I walked up the stairs to a bedroom that I personalized specifically for me. It’s smaller than my room at the house in Boston. It doesn’t have a walk-in closet but I don’t mind. I need change here and there. Every time I come by I bring some comfy clothes and spare bed spreads. The one already made on the bed is my favorite. It’s a pink and green reversible comforter with pretty flowers on one side and green and white circles on the other. That is the girliest thing I own.

  I sat on the bed and took out my phone. No messages so that’s good. Alex didn’t text or call–duh, he lost his phone. I completely forgot.

  I snuggled into the blankets and drifted off into sleep.

  I kept waking up so around 10:30 am I gave up and sat on the bed. I came here for a reason. I hated what the reason was but I have to find this guy. He knows everything about me and I know nothing about him. I grabbed a notepad from the nightstand, ah, I found the Chemistry textbook I lost last year.

  Everything that I could remember about both nights I was attacked, I jotted down. First he said he was doing this because I was a whore. He probably heard that from school. No shit.

  1. Goes to Wilks – heard the rumors

  2. Senior?

  3. Definitely a guy

  4. Not afraid to hurt people.

  I wish I knew more about him. All I know is he had cold hands but it’s winter and it was chilly that night. His voice, I can’t remember what it sounded like. His facial features, it was always too dark to see anything. I touched my throat. His fingers were wrapped around them. He’s strong.

  I got up and walked to the kitchen. There obviously wasn’t any food in the refrigerator. I remember stacking up Oreo’s and Chewy’s in the cupboards so I grabbed two Chewy bars. Hmm, S’mores. I swiped a water bottle from the kitchen counter too.

  I sat at the table and ate my snack. It’s a beautiful day out for winter and the guy on the radio said it was going to be high in the 60’s today. I could open the windows but there’s a part of me thinking that maybe he could have followed me here and he could be lurking outside. I shivered.

  I threw the empty wrappers in the trash and washed my hands. I looked out of the window above the sink when I heard something. It sounded like a car rolling on the dirt and rocks in the driveway. No one comes here.

  I opened a drawer trying to find something that would be classified as a weapon. There was nothing. No silverware, nothing. Are you serious? Where did everything go? I opened another drawer and found a wooden roller. Yeah, it’s to roll the dough for cookies but it’s helpful.

  I went on my tiptoes to see better out of the window but there was nothing. I made sure the door to the backyard was locked and then I looked out. The garden wasn’t even there. The weeds were withered and only brown crispy grass stared back at me.

  I jumped when the doorbell rang. I walked into the hallway with my fingers wrapped around the roller tight. There were a few knocks on the door and then the doorbell rang again.

  Okay, why would a robber knock?

  I walked a few more steps and peeked out the window beside the door. I almost melted in my steps. I see that chestnut colored hair everyday, I know who’s there. I was happy to see Alex there but at the same time, he’s here because I clearly can’t take care of myself. He looked worried but when he saw me through the window, he glowed. I melted.

  I put the curtain back down and unlocked the door.

  “How did you know I was here?” I asked.

  “You told me you came up here to clear your head and study. I can’t believe you left, Emily. I seriously thought that you were gone for good until…” He trailed off looking at the roller. “Are you going to beat me, roll me then cook me?” Haha.

  “Until what? Wait, did you ask my mom where this place was? I told you no one knows I come here. Is she here to?” I asked peeking behind him.

  “No, everyone was asleep when I saw the note.” He said.

  “So how did you get here?”

  “Well, he has GPS.” He said pointing at the Camaro. “I looked outside and saw it wasn’t parked so…I tracked it here.” I can’t believe this. “And I tried calling you but I don’t have your number.” He said.

  “Didn’t you lose your phone?” I asked.

  He dug in his back pocket and pulled out a new phone.

  “Got it today. Why did you come here anyways?” Alex asked. I finally found my manners when I noticed he’s still outside. It’s not cold but its weird talking to him from out there.

  He walked in and stayed close to the wall.

  “I had to clear my head. Um…did you make sure no one followed you here?” I asked.

  “Yeah, every turn I took, I checked. There was barely anyone out on the road.” He said. Oh, thank god. “I thought you left because I asked you out yesterday. I mean if it makes it weird we don’t have to.” I smiled. That’s why he’s being a little standoffish.

  “I want to go out with you.” I said. “I just didn’t want to say no and you’d get the wrong idea… Follow me.” I led him up the stairs to my bedroom. Yeah, totally innocent. “I had to get away from Boston for a while. I tried remembering things about that night. I know that he goes to Wilks.” I said.

  “How do you know?” He said sitting on my bed.

  “The things he said to me.” Alex nodded and I went on. “I can’t remember much and I’m pretty sure I won’t know who he is if I see him in public.” That’s what sucks. He can be anyone.

  “What do you remember?” Alex asked. I hesitated. I don’t know if I want to recall the things I remembered with Alex. It feels weird but he was there when the lunatic tried to rape me the first time.

  “He’s strong. I mean if he was a scrawny guy I could have thrown him off me.” Alex lifted an eyebrow at me. “What?”

  “When did you become a tough girl?”

  “Declan taught me how to fight. Not really fight but protect myself. When we were old enough we took karate. Pretty awesome times.” I said and Alex smiled. “Anyway, he smelled like beer but obviously we were at a party so everyone must have smelled like that. His voice, I can’t really explain it but it sounded harsh and well, like a man. I don’t know what he looks like. It was too dark. But I know for a fact he goes to Wilks.” An idea popped into my head the second I said that. “I’m going back to school Monday.”

  “What?! Emily, you can’t go to school just to find him. What if he tries something again?” Alex asked standing up.

  “Tiffany’s in all four of my classes, she’ll be around. Alex, I’m not going to be a sitting duck anymore. He hurt Scarlett. I don’t want him to hurt anyone else. I can’t let him.” I said.

  “But–”

  “No buts, Alex. I’m going and that’s it.” I said.

  He turned his head to look out the window. “All right.” He sighed.

  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” I asked.

  “No, I’m fine. Thanks.” We stayed silent for a few minutes until Alex looked back at me. “Are you going back to Boston soon?”

  “No. I’m going to stay here a little longer. You can go back if you have things to do.” I said. A smile formed on his lips. Oh man, did he want to do something? I’m not going to have sex with him in this place. I mean, I would want nothing more then to but…it would be too weird. This was my grandparents’ house.

  “I think the two of us have something tonight.” He said.

  “You still want to?” I asked, surprised.

  “Yeah, besides I’ve never been around this area. It’ll be fun.”

  “What time
do you want to go?” I asked.

  “Around three or four?” He asked. I nodded.

  This is a dream come true.

  I’m going on a date with Alex Payne.

  ***

  We spent the remainder of the time watching a few movies and cleaning up the place. I know that sounds lame but I had to keep busy or I would have locked Alex up in my bedroom. I’m trying not to be that easy.

  We were in the office area downstairs when the grandfather clocked struck four. “Ready to go?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Alex said. I grabbed my purse and made sure everything was in there.

  “We can walk there if you don’t mind. It’s only a few minutes away and it’s beautiful out.” I said.

  “You lead the way.” He said. We walked close and every once in a while our arms and hands would brush against each other. He was purposely doing that. I can tell.

  “Was anyone awake when you left?” I asked trying to keep myself in check. I have this sexual pull towards him and it’s taking all of me to behave. I want to be wrapped in his arms, kissed by his lips, wake up wrapped in his sheets. God, I need to stop.

  “Declan was going to the bathroom. I told him we were going to do something for a few hours. He just nodded.” Alex said.

  “My family has been very chill around you. When I hung out with guys they were very protective and never left me alone. I couldn’t believe it when my mom let you sleep with me.” My eyes widened as I cursed myself. I bit my lip so I don’t start pulling on my hair. A smile spread on his lips. “You know what I mean.” I said.

  “Emily, can I ask you to do something?” Alex asked. Hell yes. Anything! I nodded. “Please stop biting that lip or I’m going to be in serious trouble.” He said. Oh, god. I let my bottom lip slip back into place as I blushed harder.

  “Here’s the place.” I said waving a hand around us. We stood in the center of the city with the Christmas decorations and music. “This probably isn’t what you had in mind but–”

  “Anything is fine with me as long as I spend the time with you.” Ale said cutting me off. My heart stopped as I looked up at him. His eyes held mine and we stayed like that for a few seconds. I feel like a feather. The wind can just pick me up and blow me away.

  Alex slowly brought his hands up and cupped my face then he leaned in to me. It was slow, like he was debating whether or not to kiss me. I didn’t protest so I waited. He closed the space between us and pressed his lips to mine. It was slow then he kissed me deeper, harder. God!

  I wrapped my arms behind his neck. I kissed him like I was dying of starvation and he was my food. I need him. I just want to get lost in his arms. I’m here with Alex. Kissing him. The guy that never gave any girl a chance is with me. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Our bodies fit perfectly together. Yeah, only I would seek this out while kissing this gorgeous man.

  Then we were interrupted by a loud cough. That was not sexy at all. We moved away slowly, never letting our eyes off each other.

  “Emily?” I turned my head to the left and saw a familiar face. The short blonde hair I remembered is now long and shaggy covering those green eyes I grew accustom to. My grandparents’ neighbors’ son Nick Cassidy is standing there. He’s around Scarlett’s age. We became friends when my family came up here. He’s also Scarlett’s ex so I kept in touch with him. He was crazy about her and I love him for it.

  “Nick. Hi. How you been?” I asked.

  “I’ve been better. Is the rest of the family here?” Nick asked looking around. He still has it bad for Scar. It’s cute and sad.

  “No. Just me.” I turned toward Alex. “This is one of my grandparent’s neighbors, Nick. Alex, Nick. Nick, Alex.” They said hello, made small talk then Nick walked away. We were just kissing so I wasn’t going to make him tag along and become the third wheel.

  “So…do you want to go somewhere else?” I asked. I am really growing a pair. I would never do this. Alex grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. Oh…my...

  “Show me around.” He said with that smile.

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked lifting up our hands. “I tend to get some people in trouble.” I need to put it out there. I need him to have an out just in case this isn’t what he wants.

  “I’ve never been surer.” He said.

  Damn. He knows what to say to get me worked up. And it’s working.

  “What kind of girl am I?” I asked remembering our talk on our way to Sophie’s the night of the party. I asked if he would go out with a girl that drinks and has rumors going around. He said it depends on the girl. So what kind of girl was I? I want to know. Scared? A whore? Wild?

  “The right one.” He said holding my eyes. Oh, god! Fuck me, my heart is racing and the butterflies were let loose in my stomach. Please get me out of here. I want to do bad things right about now and I know that would make me look easy. Which I’m not. But when it comes to Alex, I can’t think. I just want to do…him.

  We walked around the area a little longer until I saw a fried dough station. Yay! “You have to try these. I’d say they’re the best in the world.” I said. We got two and sat on a bench nearby.

  When Alex was almost done with his fried dough, he turned toward me. “You have a little something right…there.” He smashed a piece of fried dough on my nose. I laughed thinking he didn’t do the whole clichéd wiping of the mouth thing.

  “Ahh.” I squealed and he laughed. “You just put oil and sugar on my face.” I said wiping it off. That is like most girls’ nightmare.

  “You still look cute.” I rolled my eyes playfully at him.

  “You better watch out. If I have ice cream in hand…” I trailed off. I’d do a lot of things with that ice cream. Oh, man. What I would do with chocolate syrup and whip–

  “So you’re planning on seeing me again?” He asked with a sexy smile. “I don’t know…you seem like you don’t like me.”

  I laughed. “You have no idea. You’re so fucking annoying.”

  We finished eating and started walking back home, hand in hand.

  “I had a great time. Thank you for that.” I said.

  “No problem and I should thank you. You brought me here.” I didn’t plan on it. “Are you staying here tonight or are you going back to Boston?” Alex asked.

  “I’m going back tonight.” I said. I can’t be MIA. Speaking of that, Rachel still hasn’t called me. What the fuck is up with that? It’s almost Christmas and she’s not back. She loves Christmas! “Hey…Christmas is Wednesday.” I said. “Monday’s the last day of school before winter break. That’s not enough time, Alex. I’m going back so I can find him. How is one day going to do anything?”

  “Maybe one day is all you need.” Alex said. He has no idea how true that is. I just needed one day of talking to him to know that I never want to stop.

  “I hope you’re right.” I said unlocking the front door. “I’m just going to get my things. If you want to help…you can.” Shit! I should not have invited him upstairs. But he followed.

  I was walking over to Alex with all my stuff when I tripped on the rug next to the bed. He caught me before any real damage was done. As he caught me, he held me by one of my wrists.

  “Sorry.” He said letting go of my wrist and sliding his hand to my waist. Smooth. Hold on a second…the way he held my wrists…

  “I think I remember something. Hold my wrists together.” I said.

  He furrowed his brow. “What?”

  “Hold them together.” I said holding them out. Alex slowly reached for them and wrapped his fingers around them. “No, that’s not right.” I glanced toward the bed. It looked similar to Sophie’s. The headboard’s a bit taller but it’ll work. “Come over here.” I said lying on the bed. “Climb on top of me.” I said. He just stared at me and didn’t move. I’d think I’m crazy at this point too. “Alex. I would do it myself but it won’t work. Sit on top of me. Please.” He walked over and hopped on the bed. “Straddle me.” It felt weird re
enacting what happened at Sophie’s but I have to. I lifted my hands over my head and held them to the headboard. “Hold them against this.”

  “I don’t feel comfortable doing this.” Alex said looking down at me.

  “I don’t either but can you please do it.” I said begging now. I need to do this. He shook his head lightly then pinned my wrists down. I looked at his arm. Tan and bare. “I think he had something on his arm.” I said sliding a hand out from Alex’s grasp to touch his forearm. “Maybe it was the light coming from the window but I think he had something here.” Yeah, he definitely did. I remember seeing something. A tattoo maybe?

  Alex let my other hand go. “Is that it?” He asked.

  “Yeah.” He swung his leg over me and got off the bed. “Thanks.” He nodded and walked into the hallway. Ouch. I grabbed my purse and turned off the light. “Alex, wait.” He stopped and glanced at me. “I didn’t want that to make things weird between us…” I dropped my gaze and furrowed my brow. “Is there even an us? Or are you here for a different reason?”

  He pulled me into him and leaned over me. I felt his cool breath on my skin, making every hair on my body stand up.

  He finally smiled and kissed me.

  “I like you, Emily. A lot.” Alex said pulling away from me. “I wish this could have happened sooner.” My heart was now beating uncontrollably. “I should have done something different the moment I saw you.”

  “Well, it took you long enough.” I said pulling him back to my lips. His hands found my hips then slipped to the small of my back. I moved mine up his body and felt every ripple of muscle. Chocolate syrup would be fucking amazing right now. He backed me up against the wall then the clock struck six. Alex pulled away as the silence between stretched. The bedroom is right there… No! I can’t. “We should go.” I said trying to catch my breath. Then I turned and headed downstairs. That’s better.

  When we got to the cars, I grabbed my phone and looked up Alex’s number to call him. He looked up at me with a confused look. “You said you don’t have my number. Do you know the way back?” I asked as he opened my car door.