I'll be Bad for You

by B. Love

  Remaining silent, Symphony handed her his keys as she reached for them. She opened the door and let him walk inside first. Using his free hand, Denver guided him to his bedroom, as if he’d never been there before. Leading him into the bathroom, Denver sat him down on the toilet cover and searched his closet, setting hydrogen peroxide, green alcohol, and cotton balls on the counter in the process.

  4

  Denver

  Symphony was looking at her like she was crazy, but that didn’t stop her from walking over to him with the green alcohol. This wasn’t the first time Denver had to see to cuts and bruises and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last. This was the first time his hand had been bruised this badly, though. Two of his knuckles had split open knots on them, and Denver could only imagine how Rodrick’s mouth looked by all of the cuts.

  He hadn’t reached out to her ever since things went down. Denver called him to make sure he was okay, but he didn’t answer her phone call. When she first found out about what he’d done, her mind was ready to completely do away with him. The more she thought about it, the more her heart tried to convince her to stay. A lot of it had to do with comfort and not wanting to start over with a new man all over again.

  Truthfully, Denver and Rodrick had never had sex. Even more truthfully, she hadn’t been able to have sex with any other man besides Nico. He was the first guy she was with after Symphony took her orgasm virginity, and after being with Symphony, her pussy didn’t want to be with anyone else. She would end up being abstinent in relationships and having sex with Symphony in between men.

  That wasn’t the only way their relationship had changed over the years, either. They talked more. A lot more. Especially when they both were single. They would find themselves lying on the roof of Symphony’s home, looking up at the stars, talking about anything and nothing in between. Denver was the only person outside of his grandmother that knew his desire to dabble in illegal things was lessening. Denver was unsure of what Symphony was going to do now that he was done with school, but she was excited to be there with him every step of the way.

  “That’s gon’ burn,” Symphony vocalized, pulling his hand out of Denver’s reach.

  With a smile, she grabbed his wrist and tried to level his arm. “You should have thought about that before you hit him.”

  “Just put the peroxide on it, D.”

  Ignoring him, Denver doused the cuts on his hand with the green alcohol, laughing as soon as he jerked his hand away and sucked in air. Grabbing his hand, Denver grumbled, “Big baby,” before blowing on the cuts softly. His shoulders relaxed and so did the grip he had on her waist with his free hand. Their eyes met briefly, but Denver pulled hers away and headed for the counter to exchange the alcohol for peroxide.

  “You know, we weren’t together when that happened,” Denver reasoned softly, more for herself than him. “So he technically didn’t cheat.”

  “Did you come here to fuck, or take up for that weak ass…”

  “He’s not weak,” Denver argued, pouring the peroxide over his cuts. “Just not as capable as you. And I’m not taking up for him. It’s the truth.”

  Tilting his head, Symphony stared at her, but she refused to look at him as she patted the cuts dry with a cotton ball.

  “So are you going to take him back?”

  With a shrug, Denver returned to the closet for a few band aids. “I don’t know.”

  As she applied the first band aid, Symphony asked, “What does your mind tell you?”

  “That I don’t love him love him, and this was my way out.”

  “What does your heart tell you?”

  Her eyes met his briefly as the thought of, that I can’t love you, crossed her mind. But that was a truth she would never let escape. Sure, she loved him. But she… was she… had she fallen in love with him? In the beginning, it was purely about the sex. Somewhere along the lines she tripped and fell over lust… tumbling over into love… and no man had been able to take Symphony’s place in her heart since.

  He’d claimed her body with no problems or complaints from Denver. Now, it seemed as if he’d had her heart. If there was any chance of her having a normal relationship with a man, she would have to stick with him and not continue to go back and forth with Symphony.

  With that reasoning in mind, Denver mumbled, “That love is more than just a feeling. It’s a choice. And I’ve chosen to love Rodrick,” so not more than I love you, “And… he was an idiot for breaking up with me instead of being honest about his fears, but he valued me enough to end things instead of cheating. Maybe I need to give him credit for that and move past this.”

  Denver wrapped the last band aid around his finger, and before she could remove her hand, Symphony covered it with his. Finally, she met his eyes and allowed hers to linger longer than a second. The longer she stared into his eyes, the less she wanted to make things work with Rodrick or anyone besides Symphony for that matter. But their situation had been set in stone years ago. All they would ever be was friends.

  “If you don’t love him love him, why are you considering going back to him?” Denver tried to lift herself upright, but his hand moved to her wrist and he pulled her body closer to his. “Ain’t no half stepping when it comes to love. If you don’t love him with your whole heart, he ain’t the one for you.”

  Rolling her eyes, Denver broke free of his grip and busied herself with putting everything back into the closet. “Then who is? Because I’m accomplishing everything in my life that I set out to, but I’m lonely.”

  This was the first time the words had ever slipped out of her mouth, and it caught her so off guard she had to lean her weakened body against the sink as Symphony stood and walked over to her. Standing behind her, he pressed his body into hers gently. Didn’t take long for the feel of his solid chest and hardened dick to arouse her, and when he lifted her head by her chin and forced her to look at him through the mirror that arousal intensified.

  Symphony would probably always be the most beautiful man Denver had ever seen. And it wasn’t just about his physical appearance, although that was enough on its own. Symphony had shown her hands down that a hood nigga was a mentality – not where a person lived. His address did not define him, nor did his involvement with her father’s illegal business.

  He was one of the smartest men she knew. Hell, he’d practically gone through law school with her because of how much he helped her study. His mind, above all, was beautiful. And he was so damn passionate. Fiercely passionate. A lover that chose to keep his heart to himself rather than give it to a woman who couldn’t handle, appreciate, or return all that he had to offer.

  Symphony didn’t joke much. In fact, his expression and attitude was almost always serious, but he somehow still found a way to always make her smile. And he was protective. Loyal to a fault. Her soldier and ride or die friend until the end.

  Yea. He was a handsome man, but it was his heart, mind, soul, and spirit that Denver pined over most.

  His pecan brown tall, muscular, tattooed build was like the icing on the cake combined with his pearly white smile, full bowtie shaped lips, pierced ears, ducktail beard, and nut-brown eyes.

  “How are you lonely? You have me. That’s not a good enough reason to settle, Denver.”

  “I don’t have you. Not fully.” She turned, putting them chest to chest. “We’re friends who have sex. I want more than that.”

  Symphony put some space between them. His head bobbed as he lightly scratched the inside of his nostril. With his free hand, Symphony took ahold of hers and led her out of the bathroom.

  “Aight. If you can tell me why you love this mane, I’ll walk you down the aisle like I said I would and make sure you have your father and brother’s blessing.”

  Denver waited until they were seated across from each other at the dining room table to say, “Okay.” They stared at each other for a few seconds silently before she erupted with laughter. “Am I supposed to just tell you random reasons why I love him?” />
  “Yea.” Symphony sat up in his seat, wearing his own smile. “I’ll make it easier for you. Does he cultivate you? Does he make you better?” No, but Symphony did. Her head shook. “Does he make you feel as if he can lead you and your future children? Not just with decisions about the household, but does he make you feel like he can follow God and lead you to him? Even when a nigga be on bullshit, you feel like you can trust him enough to still pray for you and hold you down?” No, but Symphony did. He actually called her to pray with her every night when he made it home. Denver shrugged.

  “Does he increase the love, happiness, peace, and confidence that’s already within you?” She stared at him blankly. He did a little, but not much. And it wasn’t his fault. There was really no need for him to because Symphony took care of all of those things. “Can you trust him with all of you?” Grinding her teeth, Denver’s head lowered.

  “Can you trust him to protect you? Not just physically, but can you trust him to protect your heart, mind, soul, and spirit? Your honor? The vows you make to each other?” Her head shook softly as her eyes watered. “Can you trust him to provide for you? Not just financially, but can you trust him to make sure your love and your relationship prospers? Can you trust him to provide his time, attention, priority to you and your family?”

  Covering her face, Denver sighed as her heart plummeted. “No,” she mumbled through her hands. “But maybe, I can learn to trust him in all of those ways. Maybe he can learn to be all of those things for me.” She lowered her hands in time enough to see Symphony shake his head.

  His voice was filled with quiet distress as he asked, “Why? The hell you wanna mold him into the man for you for when you can just wait for the man that was built for you by God?”

  “Because I’ve already had him,” Denver spat out quickly, pounding her fist into her palm. “But he doesn’t want me.” Now Symphony’s head was lowering. “Because I don’t smoke, drink, and curse as much as other women do. Because I don’t wear weave and makeup and have a big booty. Because I’m not on social media and always going to clubs and parties. Because I’m not outgoing, and I stay to myself. Because I’d rather be home cuddled up with my man watching movies than with a crowd of people out doing things that are torturous to me but fun for him.”

  Denver stood up from her seat, hovering over the table as she told him, “I can’t have the man I’m in love with, so if I’m settling for Rodrick…” she shrugged as Symphony sat back in his seat and locked eyes with her. “That’s not on me. It’s on him. Because I’m pretty sure if I’m in love with him… he’s in love with me too. But I’ll be damned if I settle for being half loved and valued for the sake of salvaging loyalties to other people while my heart suffers like a fool.”

  She left the dining room, trying to contain her anger and keep it from boiling over. Love was a choice, and Symphony was choosing not to love her. Not the way she needed him to love her at least. And for the life of her, Denver couldn’t understand why. She could say it was because of the relationships he had with her family, or the fact that she wasn’t his usual type… but neither of those things seemed to outweigh the fact that she was confident that she could love him just as hard as he wanted to love. Or at least, those things didn’t outweigh that fact to her, but obviously for him they did.

  The feel of his arms wrapping around her had her entire body melting into his. His beard tickled her neck before his lips did. Symphony nibbled his way to her ear before almost moaning, “Do you not even realize how much you talking mad shit turns me on?” If she hadn’t, his twice as hard dick was proof. She could feel the lone, long vein that traveled down the length of his shaft now. The same vein she loved to lick before taking him into her mouth. “You curse at me again I’m going to have to punish you and rinse your mouth out with my cum.”

  “Why do you do this to me?” she all but cried, covering his hands with hers as they grabbed her breasts and squeezed. “When I’m with him or anyone else all I can think about is you. How you make my heart smile. My mind clear. My pussy wet.”

  “What do you want me to do, doll?” His right hand lowered between her legs. “How can I make it better?”

  Forgetting about making things work with Rodrick and all the reasons they couldn’t and shouldn’t be together, Denver requested, “I want your face to replace your hand between my legs.” Her voice lowered and trembled as she added, “Right now.”

  She’d already dropped her purse and phone onto the floor when his arms wrapped around her, so Symphony carried her over to his bed, ready to grant her request.

  His head shook as he tugged her jeans down. “Every time we do this I feel like I’m tainting you. Bringing you out of character. You’re always a good girl until you fuck with me.”

  Denver smiled, lifting her bottom half off the bed so he could remove her jeans fully.

  “I’ll be bad for you. Only you. You know that.”

  That didn’t make Symphony feel better. His countenance fell. Removal of her clothing slowed down. Not wanting him to get too inside his head, Denver spread her legs and pulled him between them. Sitting up, she unbuckled his jeans, smiling at the feel of his hand palming her hair. After pulling it back and lifting her eyes to his Symphony said, “Promise me that you won’t let me stop you.”

  She didn’t have to ask to know what he was talking about. This wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation. Symphony may not have wanted her with Rodrick, but he also didn’t want her saving herself for him.

  “Promise me that you’ll give a man that truly deserves you a genuine chance.” When Denver didn’t answer him right away, Symphony tightened his grip on her hair. “Promise me, Denver.”

  “I promise,” she grumbled through her pout, pulling her hair out of his grasp.

  Finally, Symphony removed the rest of her clothing. And his. After placing her back on the bed, he fell to his knees before her. Resting the crook of her legs on his shoulders, Symphony stared at her pussy as he licked his lips. He teased her with one slow flick of his thick tongue before confessing, “Swear I love the taste of your pussy.” Denver’s eyes closed as she bit down on her bottom lip. “Love the way your clit swells in my mouth.” He licked it again. Just as slow, but a little harder this time. “And you’re always so fucking wet.” Squeezing her breasts, Denver relaxed into the bed as he slurped her clit into his mouth. “Eyes open. You know the rules.”

  Heavy lids opened, fighting to remain that way as he kissed her clit. As he lapped up every bit of nectar that seeped from her. Symphony’s middle finger found its way into her mouth, and Denver sucked it until he pulled it out. Slipping it between her wet folds, Symphony groaned as he entered her.

  Her head shifted from left to right as she fought to keep her eyes open, but the quickening of his licks and sucking made that damn near impossible. The second his finger bent inside of her and began to press into her spot Denver’s eyes closed as her legs opened wider.

  “Ah,” she moaned quietly, gripping the back of his neck.

  “That’s right,” he moaned into her. “Use me.”

  Back arched, Denver squeezed the back of his neck as he alternated between long licks and even longer sucks of her clit. Her legs began to buck as her walls pulsed against his finger, throbbing against it as she came. She expected him to stand, but Symphony spread her bottom set of lips and rapidly licked her clit with the tip of his tongue instead.

  Her entire body began to quake, but Symphony didn’t let up. He took her clit into his mouth once more, keeping her legs open with his hands as she moaned, “Okayyyyy.”

  Lifting her hips off the bed slightly, Symphony dipped his tongue into her opening, only to pull it out, curve it, and slowly lick the length of her entrance. Her weakness.

  “Shit,” she moaned, pushing at his shoulders while lifting herself and feeding him her at the same time.

  “What I tell you about that mouth?” he warned before fucking her with his tongue.

  He repeated th
e motion until Denver convulsed against him again, pushing him away completely this time. When Symphony lifted himself, the bottom half of his face was practically covered with her nectar, but he didn’t seem to mind. All he did was grab his shirt from off the floor and wipe his face with it before grabbing a condom. Denver watched as he sheathed himself, licking her lips in desire. She wanted to return the favor, to taste him until he was the one melting inside of her, but she could tell Symphony had other plans when he motioned for her to scoot further into the bed with his head.

  When she was in the middle of it, he climbed in and covered her body with his. In all of the years they’d been at this, they had yet to kiss. Didn’t matter how many times they had sex, kissing seemed like too intimate of a thing. But as Symphony stared into her eyes and caressed her cheek, Denver couldn’t help but want to lift herself to his lips.

  “Do you love me, Denver?” his voice was low, barely above a whisper. As if he didn’t even want her to hear him. “I mean, love me love me.”

  She blinked twice, completely unaware of where that question came from. This wasn’t the first time Denver had hinted at her true feelings for Symphony, but he’d not once tried to get her to elaborate on them.

  “Doesn’t matter.” She wrapped her legs around him and took him into her hand, placing him at her entrance.

  “Matters to me.”

  “Why, Symphony?”

  Symphony entered her slowly, stopping about a third of the way in. “Because I love you.” He pulled out, then pressed his way inside again, stopping when he was halfway in. “I love you love you.” His confession had Denver lifting her arms over her head before covering her mouth with her hands. “Open that pussy. I’m home.”

  He focused on connecting them fully, as if he hadn’t just confessed to loving her beyond their friendship.

  “Symphony,” she called, squeezing his forearms and trying to adjust to his length being inside of her. “What did you say?”