Through Glass

by Rebecca Ethington

  “So, where are you traveling from?” she asked as she handed me the can of green beans and a fork. “Must be far; you seem pretty effected. I haven’t seen anyone as dark as you since the Tar cleaned out the capital.”

  She looked up as she placed a fork full of Corned Beef Hash in her mouth, her jaw working to chew the food as she waited for an answer. I just stared at her, trying to make sense of the question in the first place.

  “Silent type, huh? It must be far, you look a little haggard.” She chuckled through the food. “Blood Rose, right? Bloodens always look like hell. Of course it’s probably because they are so offset, that’s what you get for setting up an outpost on the edge by the first burn. Of course, you guys still have fresh fish so I can’t really fault you for that. I’d probably live next to the burn if I could get fish every once in a while. I bet the Grouper tastes just as good as I remember them, right?”

  She looked at me in expectation, her face eager for an answer I had no idea how to give. Was she asking for a name of a city, a person? Was there an actual blood covered rose somewhere that I was unfamiliar with? I doubted it.

  Blood Rose was the name of nothing familiar to me and it didn’t match the literary family names from before, making the whole thing more curious. I clenched my jaw at her as I stared into her, hoping to be able to discern some form of an answer from her, but nothing came. I nodded my head at her once, hoping it would do it and thankfully, she seemed pacified.

  I was beginning to wonder how long I could keep this up or even why I cared so much to keep everything a secret. I didn’t trust her, but I could just tell her a few things. She seemed trusting, however I couldn’t ignore the silent alarm that was going off inside of me in warning.

  “Makes sense,” she continued as if I had spoken, as if I cared about anything she said. “That’s like a four week trip on foot. And with no food or steady light, the buggers are already getting to you.”

  She looked at me in expectation again. I wished she wouldn’t, I wished she would just accept me as being the quiet type and let us move beyond it. She obviously seemed content to hold up the conversation on her own anyway. If I didn’t need to talk, then I wasn’t going to do it.

  “If you don’t eat that, the darkness is only going to get worse. Don’t eat the food, remember.” She pointed her fork at the can in my hands before returning to her own food, the grind of her fork against the tin loud in my ears.

  “I sure hope you aren’t this much of a pleasure to be around all the time. I don’t need a hotter to mess up my day… I’ll kill you before that happens.” She laughed again, but the sound was becoming strained. Almost like I was scaring her. I wanted to say that was a good thing, but I could see the darkness seep back into her eyes. She wasn’t kidding, as much as she would like to put it on. She would kill me. And with my injury I would have no other choice than to let her.

  I dipped the fork in the can quickly and speared four beans before plopping them into my mouth.

  “That’s better,” she said, her voice calming. She was obviously still content to keep the conversation going on her own. “So tell me, Lex, how is Blood Rose? We didn’t expect anyone from your sector to join in the next burn. You guys sometimes don’t get our messages straight after the Tar severed the line four years ago. We weren’t even sure you got it…”

  I didn’t hear anything else she said. I could see her mouth moving, her eyes shine in the firelight, but two words had stopped me dead. My hands tensed around the can I held, my fingers hard against the grooved tin.

  “Four years?” The words were out before I had a chance to stop them, my voice high and panicked. That couldn’t be right, could it?

  Bridget’s fork dropped back to the can, her jaw moving slowly as she chewed, her eyes digging into me. That same feeling of warning came over me, Bridget’s eyes spelling fear and hatred in one glace. The firelight froze against my skin as my confusion mixed with my fear, begging me to run. I ignored it, pleading with myself that she was safe, that she was human. Her eyes narrowed for just a moment before she swallowed and that same bright smile lit everything up.

  “Did I say years?” She laughed, her voice tight. “I really meant months.”

  She smiled again, but even I could see the lie, the flash of danger and expectation that had covered her face for that brief moment of time; the knowledge only strengthening my distrust and fear.

  “That makes more sense,” my own lie was out before I could stop it. My words tip-toeing around something I couldn’t quite explain.

  It was a game of cat and mouse, although I wasn’t quite sure what role either of us played. Bridget clearly feared me in one way or another. In that one flash of her eyes I had seen her plan my death. Me? I felt the same about her, although I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t trust her and while two years ago that wouldn’t have been enough to justify someone’s death, now it seemed more than enough. It scared me that the thought had come so readily, but just like everything else, it was becoming expected and as I sat there, I found myself planning a way to defeat her, even with my sore body.

  I smiled at her and shoved a full fork of green beans in my mouth, hoping the show of faith would be enough to pacify her.

  She smiled back, her lips a pencil thin line as she devoured more of her own food. I looked at her for a minute before returning to my own, the calculating silence between us unnerving.

  It stretched as we ate and I was more than content to eat as slow as I could. The end of the meal creeping up like the end of my life.

  A shallow buzzing filled the silence and Bridget jumped, her hand flying to her pocket and pulling out what was unmistakably a cell phone. I stared at it, my mouth falling open like a moron when she pushed a button and pressed it to her ear. The screen lit up against her skin.

  “Bee,” she said, the soft sounds of a voice filtering through the air afterwards.

  My eyes widened as I watched her, the small working box pressed against her ear. She had a cell phone, a working cell phone. A phone with electricity and light and connection to more people that were alive. I stared at her with my mouth gaping as she talked, my mind slowly working around what I was witnessing.

  She was part of a bigger group, she had said that, but my untrusting nature hadn’t let that sink in. There were more, probably lots more. Somewhere with light and safety. I felt my heart jump at the thought before the look on Bridget’s face wiped the eager excitement from me.

  “Were we expecting anyone from the beach?” she asked, her eyes lifting to mine for a moment before she smiled at me. I closed my mouth quickly, sure I hadn’t moved it in time.

  “Yeah, I’ve got a hot one.” Her tone had changed, her eyes flitting away from me.

  Hot. She had used that word before, the tone degrading like she was talking about rats. This time, though, I knew exactly what she was talking about. Me, and judging by what she had said earlier, she had every intention of killing me.

  “Nah, it’s not bad. I’ll be home before the days out.”

  I slowly reached away as she spoke, careful to keep my movements slow so as not to attract any information.

  So much for assuming she was safe. I wrapped my fingers around my rail, keeping my hand low so as not to insight a fight that I was still holding out hope would not happen.

  “Love you, too, Tee.” The light on the screen extinguished the moment she was done talking. Her hand moving to put the phone back in one of her massive pockets.

  I watched every movement, not willing to take my eyes off her. She didn’t look at me, she just replaced the phone and brought her hands back to her lap, both thankfully empty. I didn’t take my hand off the rail, I would attack her unarmed if I had to. I would definitely need the upper hand against her, I already knew that for sure.

  “So tell me, Lex, how long have you been roaming?” She didn’t even look at me as she spoke, her eyes still focused on the fire in front of us.

  I didn’t say anything. I glared into her as
I pumped my hand into a fist around the bar, letting my fear and tension release itself in the subtle movements of my hand. I could feel the tension grow in my jaw, the subtle fear growing into something bigger.

  “It’s okay, Lex,” she soothed, her voice mellow like she was talking to a wounded animal. “I’m not going to hurt you. They just want me to bring you home.”

  I knew her voice was meant to be calming, but everything about it sent me into a tighter defensive mode. She thought I was dangerous. I wanted to say that was wrong, that she was foolish, but I felt dangerous. My muscles tightened, my jaw clenched and I fought a need to kill her.

  Maybe I was dangerous.

  “They?” I asked, the word distorted through my clenched teeth.

  “Yeah, the leaders. Azul.” There was that word again. It sparked something deep inside of me, like I should know what it meant, but I couldn’t remember.

  “Azul?”

  “Yeah, well, it’s what they call themselves anyway,” Bridget said. She was trying to keep her voice casual in an effort to calm me. I couldn’t say it wasn’t working. I didn’t feel quite so dangerous, but I still didn’t trust her.

  “Azul,” I repeated, getting used to the feel of the word in my mouth.

  “They lead the survivors, lead the war against the Tar. Azul is supposed to remind us of the blue sky, the sun and what we are working towards.”

  That’s what it was; Azul was the Spanish word for blue. I had chosen French over Spanish, but living in Texas, a basic knowledge of Spanish was required. It felt weird that I had forgotten something that was so simple.

  Blue.

  The word triggered something, a more recent memory. The writing on the wall. The mad scribblings of a crazy man who had somehow kept me safe, kept me alive, even if he couldn’t do the same things for himself. Now, sitting in front of me was a girl who said she knew of them, that she was with them.

  “Follow the Blue,” I whispered, my eyes trailing away from her toward the roof of the grocery store. Even without a roof, the air above me was as dark as it would be outside.

  “Yeah, for being hot you sure know a lot about the charter. Where did you find it? Did someone tell you about it?” I didn’t miss the hidden curiosity in her voice, the worry at what the truth was that was hidden behind her words.

  I looked at her closely, my eyes narrowing dangerously as I continued my attempt to regulate my heart beat.

  I had sat here since the moment I woke, begging myself to trust the girl who sat across the fire from me, but now she was asking questions, questions I wasn’t sure I could trust her with the answers to. I still held the rail in my hands, I remained ready to strike.

  Now, though, I wasn’t so sure if that was the right choice.

  Follow the blue.

  “It’s all right Lex, you can tell me,” she soothed, her voice trying to take away the last of my doubt.

  Follow the blue.

  I swallowed slowly, my fingers uncurling from the rail.

  I needed to trust her.

  “They were written on the walls of a house that I hid in,” I said, careful to keep my voice level. My eyes never looking away from hers.

  Her eyes widened for a brief moment before lowering back down to her lap. Her hands tensed around the can she was still holding, her reaction making me instantly regret telling her anything.

  “I guess it’s a good thing you found them,” she said, her body leaning forward as she poked at the fire with a stick. “You would probably be in worse shape without it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, the longer you are out in the dark, the more the Tar affect you, the more you become like them.” Her words were simple, but I couldn’t quite grasp her meaning. My jaw worked for a minute as I tried to find words to match my questions, yet nothing came.

  She talked like simply standing on the street could turn you into a monster. I knew that wasn’t right. I had lived in the darkness of my house, walked down the streets, but I was still me. I shook my head quickly, dismissing the questions, and turned my attention back down to my beans.

  “How long have you been roaming?” Bridget asked again as she leaned against a broken shelf, her combat boots stretching out in front of her.

  “Roaming?” My eyebrows arched at the question. It sounded like a word for a tiger on the Savannah, not a girl wandering the streets.

  “Yeah, living out in the open? In the dark?” She moved her fork around, signaling to the grocery store we were still hiding in.

  Okay, so I guess it was the word for a girl wandering the streets. Although, I wouldn’t count this as being out in the open. On the street, yes. Here though? We had four walls and a roof. Not to mention the possibility of food. This was hiding, this was survival.

  “I don’t know, a few days,” I said simply, still not understanding why she was so scared of being out in the dark. Not that I blamed her, but I didn’t fear it quite as much as she seemed to and I had nearly been killed only hours before.

  Her eyes widened at my words and everything froze. A few days gets a reaction like that? I swallowed my beans slowly and set the can down, feeling suddenly scared for what her reaction could mean.

  “Where were you before?” Her voice was awed, as though she had never heard the likes of someone walking around for a few days. My jaw clenched at her response, my body moving away slightly. I was torn between fear of being attacked and fear of a twenty question session. Judging by the look on Bridget’s face, she could easily manage either.

  “In my house, on Nicolas Street,” I said simply, desperately hoping to have that be the end of the questioning.

  It wasn’t.

  “How long did you hide there?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew she had tried to make the question sound simple, yet it was anything but. I didn’t trust this.

  “Two years, since the beginning.” I regretted answering the moment I did. Her eyes darkened again. The dark stare boring into me as I refused to look away. The look lasted only a minute and then it was done, the intensity making me feel violated.

  “Interesting,” she said as she pulled out her phone and hit a few buttons. I don’t know why, but it made me feel uncomfortable, like she was turning me into the cops, as if I was a fugitive. The thought made me feel dirty. I didn’t know why she would view me that way. I was human just like her. I leaned toward her defensively, my danger radar prickling uncomfortably again.

  “Why is that interesting?” I asked, my words drowned out by a loud noise that echoed from somewhere behind us.

  I jumped at the noise, my fingers twitching around the rail. The sound continued to echo around us, lasting twice as long as it would have without the hollow space. It filled the air around us and sent my heart into a frantic pulse. Something was there. I wanted to say it was only a rat, but I had heard the feet from before, the creatures running at me from every angle surrounding me. Bridget’s reaction matched mine, suggesting it was something else, and her fear supercharging my own.

  Bridget jumped up, her hands flying to her pockets as she pulled out a small, metal flashlight and what at first glance looked like a bright green water gun. It obviously held more than water, though. Why it needed to be florescent green though, I wasn’t quite sure.

  Everything in my body tensed as I began to scan the dark grocery store around us. My nerves prickled angrily as she flashed the light into the darkness; shadows, broken shelves and garbage lighting up eerily. I looked from side to side as she did, our eyes desperately looking for something through the black, although I wasn’t quite sure what.

  “We have to go,” she said into the emptiness that swallowed us, her voice trailing away from me and putting me on edge.

  I didn’t want to dispute that. Although the sound wasn’t the screech of a Tar, it was too close to the attack from before. The quicker we got out of there, the better.

  I secured my backpack to my back and grabbed one of the large pieces of wood out of
the fire. Although more of a hazard than anything, it would have to do for now. After all, I still had to get my lighter back from commando Bridget here.

  I held the wood above me, letting the bright light filter into the air in a halo of sunshine. Bridget looked at me once and nodded as if in approval. Why I needed her approval, though, I wasn’t sure. I narrowed my eyes at her in question, but she only turned away from me.

  “Stay right with me, Lex,” she whispered before taking off down the dark aisle.

  I hesitated, still not sure what was scaring her, before I followed her quickly. My head throbbing with each step, the pace almost too fast for me to manage. She shone her light down every aisle we passed, the flashlight and neon gun pointed in sync like she thought she was in some spy movie.

  I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t find it in me. Her tension still hadn’t lessoned enough that I could feel anything beyond the terror that still rippled through me.

  The sounds of our panicked breaths joined the soft sound of our footsteps as we walked, each step sounding louder than I knew it really was.

  I held the light higher, my other hand gripping the rail as I followed her. I wanted to say that the light made her safe, but with how she was acting, I wasn’t quite so sure anymore.

  Bridget continued to move until she led us out of the grocery store and into the darkness of the world outside. Without the enclosed walls, the sound of our panic spread away from us, leaving us trapped in silence.

  I would have expected her to relax, but her body stayed tensed and her gun still pointed dangerously before us. The action only put me more on edge, my nerves jumping dangerously. She walked forward a few steps before she suddenly relaxed then her gun dropped to the side, even though her flashlight stayed high.

  “We need to get her back to Azul,” she said, her back still to me as she spoke.

  I looked around quickly, not knowing if she was talking to me; her voice was so deep.

  “Bridget?” I asked, my anxiety growing the longer she kept her back to me.